http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ ElsaElsa Boards User Favorites: MzScarlett en Sun, 21 Mar 2010 03:35:43 +0000 http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/cheat-ees-those-who-have-been-cheated-on#post-2233 Wed, 18 Mar 2009 17:33:22 +0000 flip58 2233@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ <p>My sister has a virgo moon and a virgo rising. She has a very touch me not air to her. I think that her boyfriends find her a challenge. They were devastated when she left them for cheating. My sister is no victim. </p> http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/cheat-ees-those-who-have-been-cheated-on#post-2232 Wed, 18 Mar 2009 17:27:16 +0000 flip58 2232@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ <p>To my knowledge, none of my partners have cheated on me. It would be totally out of character for my husband. OTOH, my sister had two serious relationships in which her boyfriend cheated&nbsp; on her. In the case of the second boyfriend, he had told her about cheating on his previous girlfriends. Her current boyfriend cheated on his wife. He ocassionally says provocative things, like you would care about a drunken mistake right. She tells him that she would never talk to him again. He would be dead to her. She is serious. But she had three serious relationships in her life and all three men were cheaters. BTW, our father was a cheater. </p> http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/cheat-ees-those-who-have-been-cheated-on#post-2214 Wed, 18 Mar 2009 07:16:09 +0000 MzScarlett 2214@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ <p>&nbsp;</p> <em>that might suggest that you're more safe for those with dishonest intent?&nbsp;&nbsp; </em>Oh that is interesting.&nbsp; Thanks <em><br /></em> <p><em>&nbsp;</em></p> <p>Great thread- </p> http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/cheat-ees-those-who-have-been-cheated-on#post-2171 Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:06:24 +0000 Jessica 2171@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ <p>Elsa loaded this into the Dispatch but I thought I'd add the link here...</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><a href="http://sasstrology.com/2009/03/the-astrology-of-cheating-natal-chart-factors.html" rel="nofollow">http://sasstrology.com/2009/03/the-astrology-of-cheating-natal-chart-factors.html</a> </p> http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/cheat-ees-those-who-have-been-cheated-on#post-2166 Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:34:30 +0000 sonah22 2166@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ <p>&quot;Part of me wonders if the cheating phenomena isn't a generational thing. For some reason it SEEMS like in recent years it's become more socially acceptable to be disloyal, but I'm sure that's just the way it LOOKS - people have cheated on others since the beginning of time. Maybe it's just more acceptable to talk about, now-a-days.'</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>I agree Luci--there have been comments here about how my generation (I'm 24) is more promiscuous and what not, but in the end, the rules don't change much. You have to be responsible to get a responsible person, and people realize that eventually, and also we do talk about these things more, but no, I don't think the number of dishonest people has risen-I mean, unless you also say that the world population in general is higher every day.&nbsp; </p> http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/cheat-ees-those-who-have-been-cheated-on#post-2145 Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:23:54 +0000 luci 2145@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ <p>This is long and rambly, but made up of some thoughts that maybe someone can make sense of: &nbsp;</p> <p>Part of me wonders if the cheating phenomena isn't a generational thing. For some reason it SEEMS like in recent years it's become more socially acceptable to be disloyal, but I'm sure that's just the way it LOOKS - people have cheated on others since the beginning of time. Maybe it's just more acceptable to talk about, now-a-days. </p> <p>My ex-husband cheated on me. I knew -nothing- about it. At all. The day he went to work and didn't come home (because he moved in with his lover -who was living with HER boyfriend- under the guise of being &quot;best friends and he's getting a divorce, he needs a place to go&quot;) was the first I had even suspected of what was going on behind my back. </p> <p>Now, I know for a fact that this guy was REALLY good about hiding it. I looked back in my moments of misery to see what I missed that must have been right in my face and I can't find a one. Even now, six years later. No one else suspected, either.&nbsp;</p> <p>The problem with this now is that everything comes into question for me in a relationship, which is embarrassing. NOW I'm hyper-sensitive to anything that -might- be cheating and my current boyfriend has thankfully been patient with me about this.&nbsp; It's torture when he's a chatty, friendly Gemini and seems to have as many woman as man friends. </p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>I can't speak to why people cheat or how you got wrapped up in a string of cheaters, though. Maybe it's something you're unconsciously putting out, that might suggest that you're more safe for those with dishonest intent?&nbsp;</p> http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/cheat-ees-those-who-have-been-cheated-on#post-2142 Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:05:16 +0000 Monica 2142@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ <p>I don't have any experience being cheated on (not that I know of, anyway) but I do have the experience of manifesting patterns being apparent from one relationship to the other.&nbsp; </p> <p>My first &quot;serious&quot; relationship lasted 7 years. I was very young when I got into it, and well, in the end, I know he wasn't the one, I was just comfortable and resistant to change.&nbsp; The big thing that caused the demise of our relationship, though, was that in year 6 I found something about my ex that I could just not deal with.&nbsp; I tried to ignore and repress it, something that I am very good at doing, but in the end I just could not take it anymore and the relationship dissipated.&nbsp; I was greatly relieved as I would no longer have to deal with that particular issue anymore.</p> <p>A few months later I met someone new and about 6 months into the relationship the same issue popped up.&nbsp; I could not believe it!&nbsp; This time, I tried to do things differently... I tried to work around the issue with my ex, but I totally saw him as the &quot;bad&quot; other and well eventually I just started repressing it again... We ended up getting married and we did love each other very much, but the issue festered in the background, making me so miserable that I eventually ended up pressing the self destruct button.&nbsp; That was last May.</p> <p>The point that I am actually trying to get to is that this issue that came up very much had to do with me projecting my shadow out unto my partners.&nbsp; I don't think it matters what kind of issue it is, if there is a recurrent problem that comes up in your relationships, even if the other person is the one who is &quot;at fault&quot; well, it surely has to do with you too, even if you are &quot;innocent&quot;. </p> <p>Looking back, well,&nbsp;I think that the universe will keep bringing back these issues until you deal with them.&nbsp; In the first relationship I totally did not give my partner any understanding and I cast my judgement.&nbsp; In the second relationship I think I did a better job in that I actually tried to reconcile my feelings of judgement against my partner, but I did judge harshly and I did not acknowledge that this was my own shadow that was being dealt with... and that is the reason why it repulsed and affected me so strongly. </p> <p>Hopefully now that I have recognized that this is all about my deep, dark shadow, well, hopefully now this will stop the universe from bringing relationships my way in which this comes up.&nbsp; I've gotta say that I still find it repulsive and am still very much at a loss on how to integrate it, but at least now I actually acknowledge that it's there and what it looks like.</p> <p>So, it's not to say that a person who is cheated on is to blame, but I definitely think that if a person is continually cheated on, from one relationship to the other, that they definitely need to take a deep, dark look within themselves to see why the universe keeps on bringing this their way.&nbsp; Obviously, there is a lesson that has not been yet learned.</p> <p>(wow, sorry this is long lol )</p> http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/cheat-ees-those-who-have-been-cheated-on#post-2126 Tue, 17 Mar 2009 05:47:23 +0000 miss 2126@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ <p>I have been cheated on in the past.&nbsp; For a while I thought all men were, ya know , the usual blah blah blah.&nbsp; I did learn something from each realationship and over the years I finally believed that I deserved better.&nbsp; Looking back there were tons of &quot;red flags&quot;&nbsp; back then I chose to &quot;rationalize&quot; them away out of fear.&nbsp; In my past I also had addiction problems, soooo ...... there ya go.&nbsp; I was a bit disfuntional and I was told like attracks like, something in me was attracted to something in them and visa versa.&nbsp; Through years of work on myself I was able to see my pattern and my strange way of thinking and reasoning that was wrong,lol. Oh well I have revealed enough, that is part of my story.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/cheat-ees-those-who-have-been-cheated-on#post-2124 Tue, 17 Mar 2009 05:21:01 +0000 Carried 2124@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ <p>oops...not just men are good bullshitters. anything that breathes has that capacity. even my cats when they pretend I haven't fed them even though I know darn well they ate already! <img src="http://boards.weddingbee.com/my-plugins/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/icon_biggrin.gif" />&nbsp; It's the googly eyes you gotta watch for. heh. </p> http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/cheat-ees-those-who-have-been-cheated-on#post-2123 Tue, 17 Mar 2009 05:19:24 +0000 Carried 2123@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ <p>I did that, took a cheater back, several times. I was very young and very naive. Once I wised up that he was never going to change, and realized how much it was damaging me and my life, I dumped him and never let it happen again. Then again, I have remained single pretty much since then. </p> <p>Some men are just really good at bullshitting. But, once you've learned to be discerning, expect give and take, it is possible to avoid getting involved with a cheater. Of course, that doesn't explain the happily married spouse who, after 20+ years, has an affair. I mean, those situations I can't imagine why/how they happen. Especially when there was nothing wrong in the relationship. Gotta be something in the chart of the cheater I would guess? I don't really know. </p>