ElsaElsa Boards Topic: Is It Normal To Feel This Way?

ElsaElsa Boards Topic: Is It Normal To Feel This Way? http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ ElsaElsa Boards Topic: Is It Normal To Feel This Way? en Tue, 16 Mar 2010 20:12:09 +0000 TAH on "Is It Normal To Feel This Way?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/is-it-normal-to-feel-this-way#post-29108 Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:38:53 +0000 TAH 29108@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ StarGirl, With all these things that are happening to you, and you feeling all these negative things, I would say it is normal for you to feel this way. I think if I were in your shoes, I would feel the way you do. It is not normal for your sister to act that way. Most people don't screw their sisters over. Most people don't impose upon their sisters and give them attitudes.  Just say no. Say no to anything you don't feel right about. It wasn't until I knew how to say no that I started increasing my self confidence and finding out who I truly am. Then, once you find out who you truly are, hold on to that and love yourself for it. Love yourself and be happy for yourself. Once people see you are happy for yourself, and they can see your inherent confidence gleaming through, they will stop stepping on you. Hopefully they'll even admire and respect you. But you have to believe in yourself first.  For instance, make plans Saturday night with your friends. And if your sister comes by with the same scenario, say, "No, actually, I can't babysit. I'm going out with friends." And don't be sorry, and just be honest, confident, and genuine. Be the big sister, be the role model. Tell her what's up. Good luck, from the bottom of my heart. From one aquarian to another...set yourself free from her. Liz on "Is It Normal To Feel This Way?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/is-it-normal-to-feel-this-way#post-29107 Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:29:07 +0000 Liz 29107@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ Good luck StarGirl! Sounds like the right way to focus your energy. :) StarGirl on "Is It Normal To Feel This Way?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/is-it-normal-to-feel-this-way#post-29099 Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:02:27 +0000 StarGirl 29099@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ Thankyou all so much for your advice. Fingers crossed I'll be getting a job for the weekends, maybe more, doing relief work. I can't say anymore about it cos it could be life changing but it's something I could see myself doing cos it's charity based working alongside people like me and it's good money. I already work part-time but with the O.C.D (I'm on the waiting list for therapy at the moment) I've held on to the safe options and I need a challenge, like this new job, to build my confidence. thanks again<img src="/my-plugins/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/icon_biggrin.gif" /> goddess on "Is It Normal To Feel This Way?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/is-it-normal-to-feel-this-way#post-29033 Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:08:19 +0000 goddess 29033@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ Thank you for taking my comments in the spirit intended, StarGirl. Not everybody can do that and I appreciate it tremendously when people understand the good intentions behind my sometimes aggressive Mars/Mercury mouth. I do hope you get some support for the OCD and whatever other stuff you could use support with. I don't gather your family is positioned to do this anyway - most families are not. It sounds like you've gotten settled into the role of "the broken one" and could use some help casting that off, not just in their eyes, but especially in your own eyes. Liz on "Is It Normal To Feel This Way?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/is-it-normal-to-feel-this-way#post-29007 Tue, 10 Nov 2009 07:26:36 +0000 Liz 29007@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ "Since I live with my parents though she does have the right to bring Harry over as and when she chooses as long as she clears it with my parents." I understand but it doesn't mean YOU have to look after the kid unless YOU want to. Sounds like there are deep issues here of her taking advantage and you letting her. And you taking the brunt of her sexual conquests.. in one way or the other. Kind of like playing good cop/bad cop.. and always being placed into the bad cop role. You may need to stop babysitting as a statement to stop being the responsible one in the dynamic. You may not have been so sexual because of an innate modesty and felt lynched for it by your ex who then took up with your sister compounding the feeling of inadequecy. Being less sexual doesn't make one unsexy. There are consequences to her sexual nature.. which means having a son she should make a priority and it sounds like you being/feeling of better moral fibre is actually not serving you in getting out of this tangle. Instead she continues to fuck, you (and your family) are called on to look after the results and you get pegged as "depressed" and "having nothing" - in their mind and in your own. First step IMO - stop babysitting. And use your saturdays for something you want in your life. I'd start with saturn in libra.. becoming attractive and taking care of yourself. I haven't looked at your chart yet though so there may be more to it than where my mind is going .. I can look at it later to add more ideas.. If it helps.   I find it amusing that the "related post" is "paranormal" :P:P:P       user on "Is It Normal To Feel This Way?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/is-it-normal-to-feel-this-way#post-28994 Tue, 10 Nov 2009 01:06:41 +0000 user 28994@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ Please let me say from the outset that I am far from a pro. So, take it as you will. Pluto is transiting your natal Neptune, and squaring your natal Mars/Venus conjunction in Aries. Saturn is opposing that same conjunction. So I can see why your focus would be on a romantic betrayal and jealousy about your sister's sexual dalliances. Perhaps the universe is giving you good instruction about what you do and don't want in a relationship (whether that be friendship or romance). Let Pluto cut away what no longer serves you in your outside relationships with people, and also what no longer serves you within yourself. Instead of being a passive bystander in your sister's relationships, focus on how you can get some lovin' for yourself, with someone who is into YOU, not your sister. That's pretty cold blooded for a sister to have dealings with her sister's boyfriend. StarGirl on "Is It Normal To Feel This Way?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/is-it-normal-to-feel-this-way#post-28991 Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:47:50 +0000 StarGirl 28991@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ I know I shouldn't be bothered and you're right-it is just me seeing it as a game when really it's just my sister living her life. She slept with my boyfriend AGES ago, she and him we're friends first then she hooked us up but they'd often drop me off home and go out together. She was sorry about it, he just couldn't hide how much he liked her and she always kept her options open.   They kept exchanging knowingly glances after a while but I still didn't think anything of it, then he thought he was irresistable to all girls and would chat them up right in front of me, tell me what to wear and get annoyed at me for not being adventurous enough with sex. We were both 18 then so it's immature stuff, I never liked him much anyway. She was 15 and as much a knockout then as she is now, guys of all the wrong ages asked after her but many are idiots, even the ones she went out with eventually let her down. Isn't that always the way with love? She spoke to the police recently about her ex hassling her and call me selfish but I thought, 'there goes another 'love''. luci on "Is It Normal To Feel This Way?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/is-it-normal-to-feel-this-way#post-28985 Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:04:31 +0000 luci 28985@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/  I said 'Oh' a little dissapointedly because I knew it would be because she has something planned with her fiancee Dave Why is that disappointing? Is it jealousy?  ...when he's here it's usually for a sexual favour for you in MY time'. Does it matter what they do when you're baby-sitting? If she were to ask if they could go to a movie while you watched your nephew, would it make a difference? Also, I'm not clear on wether or not the kid is with grandma and you live there, or if it's your responsiblity specifically. ...never knew the full extent, she even slept with my boyfriend. That sucks. Hard. I'd consider if I wanted to be doing favors for someone that's betrayed me.   So, here are my thoughts: Firstly, you have a right to say no to baby-sitting. Secondly, what they do in their relationship...is it really for you to know or worry over? Thirdly...you have a right not to do favors for someone that treats you like crap.    So, if it were -me- I'd call off the babysitting.   StarGirl on "Is It Normal To Feel This Way?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/is-it-normal-to-feel-this-way#post-28983 Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:26:33 +0000 StarGirl 28983@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ My sisters is 24th January 1988 at 4:10 p.m <a href="http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_2at_03_rachel.84461.29690.gif&res=100&va=&cid=lakfilenqiyCZ-u1254931244">http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_2at_03_rachel.84461.29690.gif&res=100&va=&cid=lakfilenqiyCZ-u1254931244</a>   StarGirl on "Is It Normal To Feel This Way?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/is-it-normal-to-feel-this-way#post-28982 Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:24:23 +0000 StarGirl 28982@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/   <a href="http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_2at_04_nicky_.84058.21669.gif&res=100&va=&cid=lakfilenqiyCZ-u1254931244">http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_2at_04_nicky_.84058.21669.gif&res=100&va=&cid=lakfilenqiyCZ-u1254931244</a> It's 7th February 1985 2:44 a.m Bradford West Yorkshire U.K