ElsaElsa Boards Topic: Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover?

ElsaElsa Boards Topic: Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover? http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ ElsaElsa Boards Topic: Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover? en Sun, 21 Mar 2010 03:57:16 +0000 segurelha on "Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/saturn-in-libra-what-happens-when-you-sleep-with-someone-elses-lover/page/2#post-48786 Sun, 07 Mar 2010 09:59:06 +0000 segurelha 48786@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ I never cheated but I have been cheated once by a former gf. But I have discovered since I have lots of eighth house and neptune, and therefore very strong intuition. I have forgiven her at that time, she was a Cancer and very needy, and i truly understood it, although we broke off months later. Now, I allow my currrent partner to "cheat", if she wants to, provided that she informs me, due to my fear of sexually transmitted diseases (I'm a Virgo Moon and she's a Virgo). Also as a man, I feel often a rush to strangers, I guess that's a part of our biological constitution. I am Sag, Aqu rising, However I never cheated. Instead, sometimes I masturbate to release those undesired wishes. Sorry for my confession. Other times, I meditate, or I make sports. Or, even best, I connect with my gf, to transcend those other physical needs! I think this is the best thing to do. My heart tells me not to hurt anyone. However, I understand that suffering exists, and sooner or later one relationship ends, relationships are temporary and we don't own the other, and more, we should never betray our happiness in detriment of keeping a commitment. Some people cheat because they don't have their needs fullfilled, and they are afraid of anger building up, so they indulge in the affair which then haves obvious consequences. Other times, the situation turns out to be good, and a new relationship starts. Of course, this is a very difficult issue if you have to raise children. I think these issues are very difficult to have a straight answer. I think if we would be more open to open relationships, then these complications would be much lower. That's why I concede the other to have affairs. I solve my potencial flirting urges by connecting in a deep way with my parnert, finding the time and depth to do it. I think our society would benefit much if we would open up our relationships. The extreme sexual imagery on TV and magazines is a symptom of the disfunction of our society. I would wish a basis of sharing openly intimate love and not just hedonism. Always with transparency, understanding and trust. But maybe we are not prepared. We are decades from it. What do you think?   Dina on "Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/saturn-in-libra-what-happens-when-you-sleep-with-someone-elses-lover/page/2#post-39683 Mon, 25 Jan 2010 02:54:49 +0000 Dina 39683@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ compartmentalizing Gemini, and I keep talking about Gemini's lack of moral fiber.  I keep obsessing about my own lack of moral fiber and ability to commit acts like this without guilt.  I cheated once in the sense that I had an "emotional affair" with my friend.  We had a lot of feeling for each other and were very close, a Sun//Moon conjunction, and he had a girlfriend. He asked me if he should call it quits with her like it were a piece of advice I could give and I didn't understand that it meant he could break up for me.  I wasn't and am not very literate when it comes to men's social cues.  My friends were all on my team, no one really stopped me or disapproved of me saying "all's fair in love and war," and a romantic experience like that was very precious, I disapproved of her behind her back "they weren't right for each other" and enjoyed her company when I was with her.  It would be a waste of my time, I don't want to regret it.  kashmiri, what kind of "abyss" are you talking about?  If it's the abyss of one's own moral mettle, I need to look away from there sometimes.   persian_cat on "Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/saturn-in-libra-what-happens-when-you-sleep-with-someone-elses-lover/page/2#post-30343 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:45:55 +0000 persian_cat 30343@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ Darn, mimi.  I got married at 29.  That should explain a lot of things then. mimi mottet on "Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/saturn-in-libra-what-happens-when-you-sleep-with-someone-elses-lover/page/2#post-30305 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 01:45:02 +0000 mimi mottet 30305@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ If the frontal lobe is not fully developed until age 25, then none of us should settle down or marry until age 30. Everybody should be a free agent until age 30. Then things get serious.  LisLioness on "Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/saturn-in-libra-what-happens-when-you-sleep-with-someone-elses-lover/page/2#post-28808 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:35:48 +0000 LisLioness 28808@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ OK.  I have my own short rant about this.  I've been the cheater, twice.  Both were emotional affairs.  After the second one, I'm never going to get mixed up in anything like this ever again. Both were unconscious reactions to what I wasn't getting in my relationship.  The second one happened because it was two big egos (both Fire signs) being starved for attention. If you're not getting your needs met, you need to find some other way to do it besides an affair.  It hurts too many people and almost ripped families apart in both instances.  All for what?  I had to do some intense self-examination, and I swore I will never do it again.  It just isn't worth the pain it causes. shell on "Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/saturn-in-libra-what-happens-when-you-sleep-with-someone-elses-lover/page/2#post-28071 Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:22:00 +0000 shell 28071@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ This made me think of a good song by Olivia Broadfield.  I hate the concept, but it's such a good song I can't help loving it.  <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnoTMCK4Juw">"Lost in You"</a> "...I feel no sadness when you say she cries....." Ouch! wyrdling on "Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/saturn-in-libra-what-happens-when-you-sleep-with-someone-elses-lover/page/2#post-27954 Tue, 03 Nov 2009 06:14:08 +0000 wyrdling 27954@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ never actually was a party to a man breaking his vows to another woman.  that was a line i couldn't cross. but there's a lot of small steps on the way there that can be so easy to delude yourself into thinking are perfectly innocent.  particularly if you're feeling starved for attention. it's a slippery slope and unconscious motives can really hijack what you rationally convince yoursef you're doing... or maybe it's just been me... SaDiablo on "Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/saturn-in-libra-what-happens-when-you-sleep-with-someone-elses-lover/page/2#post-27912 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:38:46 +0000 SaDiablo 27912@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ notatirem, I think the situation you described in @21 is what sank my last relationship.  Sort-of.  Except my ex never mentioned he was unhappy at all until he'd met my replacement and never tried to work on anything anyway.  Soo....  *shrugs and laughs*  Whatever, maaan. "what if your SO gets his / hers with a prostitute?  Would you add the non sisterly label to her too, or is she different and get a free card because of course she has no integrety?" If my SO cheated with a sex worker, damn right s/he'd get a free card!  Not because s/he has no integrity, but because it's his or her job.  A sex worker cannot care about the marital status of his or her clientele, no matter what their own personal opinions are on the subject.  It doesn't factor into the equation. But my SO would catch eighteen kinds of hell, believe you me!  Although, honestly, I'd probably be slightly less cheesed than if it was with a non-sex worker, because any emotional involvement would be one sided and the SO is obviously not worth my time either way. I do not cheat.  I have been cheated on, however. I kind-of have to qualify that statement, I realized.  My first serious BF, when I was in college, had a GF back home that I never knew about until he came to me one night saying that he had ended that relationship.  I was very WTFBBQ??!!! but stayed with him because, hey, first serious BF and all.  He ended up cheating on me as well, and I kicked his ass to the curb and never thought about him with any fondness again. In retrospect, I should've broken up with him when he finally admitted to the other relationship (even though it was over by then).  I've never felt guilty about back-home gal, though, because I didn't know she existed.  I didn't feel like that reflected badly on my integrity.  Staying with him after he admitted to it, though, sticks in my craw.  Gah! barb on "Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/saturn-in-libra-what-happens-when-you-sleep-with-someone-elses-lover/page/2#post-27860 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:58:35 +0000 barb 27860@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/  I love what persian cat said"  "Why? You ask.  No man or woman in his right frame of mind would consciously cross territorial boundaries and walk away happily whistling about it afterwards."  I think thats true of most people, at least of women for sure.  I know two men who have no problem cheating at all.  They've always done it.  I asked one of them how it made him feel, and he said that he knows that its wrong morally,  but he compartmentalizes.  So, he said that being with one woman has no bearing on his relationship.  Completely wrong of course, because it does, but the point is that he believes that it doesn't.  He rationalizes it all away, and he says he feels no guilt.  (he's a Gemini).  No water in his chart, therefore making it difficult for him to have empathy for how someone else would feel.   Narcissists are known for having no empathy.   I've known this guy for years and years and I know he does it for attention, the rush, the excitement and for trying to feel better about himself.  Which is funny, cause its doing the exact opposite.  Its eroding his self esteem instead of supporting it.  The other guy has lived with his girlfriend for 5 years and she expects they will get married.  He continues to cheat on her, and he has absolutely no problem with it.  I've asked him many times why he does it and how does he feel, and he just says that he thinks his girlfiriend is a very sweet loving person and he would hate to hurt her, yet he does it continually.   This dude is also a narcissist, and i know he does it for the attention, and the control  and power rush he gets for getting a girl to fall for him.  He is very very charming and can easily seduce women.   He also has no water, except for Saturn in Scorpio on the Dsc.   Now, does he walk away whistling a happy tune?  I'd have to say he kinda does.....sadly.  He just does not care at all how women feel, and if he gets what he wants, he is happy.  Completely self involved.  Narcissists, the real ones, feel better about themselves when they put others down, or when others feel jealous of them, so cheating on a partner makes them feel better about themselves in some weird way.  Scary.  Ok, i should've posted this under the narcissist thread....but they have sex too, and cheating and lying is a big part of their life.  Lupa on "Saturn in Libra: what happens when you sleep with someone else's lover?" http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/saturn-in-libra-what-happens-when-you-sleep-with-someone-elses-lover/page/2#post-27857 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:41:11 +0000 Lupa 27857@http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ Best part of the article from Elsa's picture.   "People are even laughing at how I look naked - but I have to point out it was a very cold day," he added.  <img src="/my-plugins/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/icon_biggrin.gif" />