So for the past couple days I've been depressed, a little paranoid, somewhat disconnected and thinking weird thoughts. When I say weird I just mean things that don't normally erupt into consciousness, like things my mother said to me a long time ago, or some odd leftover urge to connect on the astral to the ex.

Two days ago, huge snowstorm. Big blizzard. When I called in to work yesterday it wasn't really because of the snow. It was because I was tired and depressed and I just didn't want to face the cold or scraping off my windows in the morning, trying to maneuver on the ice.

I just didn't have it in me.

I kept trying to figure out what was wrong with me -- I thought maybe my craziness was coming back. I kept imagining my boss hated me and was really mad at me. I keep dreading the long flight and total whipsaw boomerang of emotion when I get back to my hometown -- it's going to be like visiting another, really REALLY unhappy and uncomfortable planet.

I wish I could just stay at the extended stay hotel all through winter break, run my life from one of their marvelous mattresses.

But I got up this morning and made coffee, scaped off my windows, drove twenty miles an hour to work. Said pleasant things, fired up the computer, all the while feeling like I was on the verge of tears. Checked out to the ladie's room about 45 minutes ago.

MY PERIOD.

AH CHRIST.

So.....I put all my crap back on, my boots, my hat, my neck warmer, walk allllll the way back across the park to my car, get in the car, go to the Kwick Shop for supplies because I have none while it's nine degrees out and I'm so exhausted and lonely I could cry. In the bathroom of the Kwick Shop I secure myself, down two tabs of Pepto Bismol and three Advil, and then....backkkk to the parking lot, baaaack across the park, right back up the stairs to my desk where I am sitting now.

This, people, is the misery of possessing a raging hormonal profile not to mention your period on the heels of a historic snowstorm. Freakin miserable miserable miserable miserable.

But at least I know what the fuck has been wrong with me the past couple days.

This happens to me every month. I hate everything, my life sucks, noone loves me, etc. I get scared that I'm facing another depression. Then it appears. Ohhhh duh! And it does help knowing what brought it on. I'm not crazy, I'm just hormonal.

Ahhhhhhhh... Womahood. Ain't it grand?

(((eva)))

It gets better...

That's why I track it. (Also, so I don't stain stuff.)

Why am I suddenly having paranoid and anxious thoughts, feeling withdrawn, can't sleep, and want to bite everyone's head off? I hope I'm not having an onset of depression. *checks calendar* Oh, that's why.

Oi, I hear you same boat, but at least no snow and no where to go, feel normal soon! I hope I do, being a woman is for the birds.

@eva

I totally sympathize. Being moody before the time of the month is an incredibly frustrating experience.

I wonder if it's also linked to the days leading to a full moon or a new moon, which can make a person more tense than usual.

((((eva))))

Every time Aunt Flo gets ready to show up for me, I start feeling deeply unhappy with my life (mostly about my job though). Not sure if that's the "woman's intuition" Dr. Northrup talks about or not, but it's the same every month.

She compares a woman's cycle to the phases of the moon. PMS is like low tide, when all the ugly stuff we've tried to bury gets exposed for all to see. Yay. Thank God that phase doesn't last. :)

Wow, I feel your pain. I have gone into murderous rages and a day later Flo knocks on my door and I'm like "Seriously?"

(((eva)))

Periods suck. I have 5 sisters. I know.

It's weird how you can have it month after month, year after year, decade after decade and still got caught unawares! I was talking to someone about this just yesterday, and I am highly in tune with my body and keep a calendar. Sometimes you just snooze. Generally speaking my period doesn't both me much at all.