The window guy is here, along with his wife and another man helping. He was not in the house 2 minutes before he caught me in the hallway and asked me to sneak him a shot of something (anything) because he was dying, "hanging like wet laundry" he said.

 "Don't let my wife know," he added.

He looked like shit, so I poured him a triple shot and left if for him in then bathroom. 

I heard him in there retching.

gah. :-(

From all appearences the wife and the other guy don't know, however I think they do know.  :-(

Hi wife left to go get sodas (she knows subconsciously I am sure) - he asked for another drink - had me pour him the equivalent of 5 drinks.

He's perking up though.

how sad. :(

yeah, he's desperate.  Looks baaaaaaaad.  Like if you don't give him a drink he's going to have a seizure. Needs detox!

That is sad.  And what it took for him to ask you for help, too.

Yeah, but I hate to collude behind the woman's back. Damn. :-(

They are doing the door today, the windows another day so I am going to need to go to the  liquor store for sure...

what so many don't understand danger of "just quitting" past a certain point. no doubt he needs medical detox. much as it must feel crummy, you may have just kept the man from dying in your living room.

If you will notice the partner of any alcoholic will try to control their every movement to keep them from getting a drink. It's an utter waste of time and energy.

Neither one of them has a life. One is wasting all their energy trying to get a drink, the other one is wasting all their energy trying to keep them from getting a drink. Day after week after month after year. Bizarre dynamic.

Well all is happy now. The guy has his edge off, he's personable, so is she.
The guy helping had to leave. He has to feed his 91 year old father - he is the only caretaker, I don't mind doing business with these people, it just is what it is.

I've noticed this a lot with painters and contractors,shit some will do work for you if you just buy them a 12pack. 

My uncle was doing this for a while, and the guy he worked with was a heavy alcoholic, they would come in to do work for people and steal their booze! I couldn't imagine coming in and fixing myself a drink. I couldn't violate someone like that. 

The window guy is lucky Elsa is a former bartender -- I wouldnt know how to pour a triple shot and I sure dont have the makings for it.

Deirdre, that's exactly what I was thinking.  I don't drink, so I don't have booze on hand--the poor guy would have been in serious trouble at my house.  :-(

Poor guy. :(

Yes, I just found out they can't afford windows for their house but they need them.  I gave them some selling tips on their craigslist ad and let them know my impressions on how they might sell more successfully.  I had a rapt audience.

Nice people... many alcoholics are damned likable, it is so sad.

 Anyway, they got the door in and they did a good job. They were about $500 cheaper on their labor, that was worth a 1/2 quart of booze for sure.

The home depot guy who did the blinds was also alco. or ex-alco, I could tell by his nose so it's not like buying name brand is going to necessarily spare you.

"You've been nothing but good to me," he said as he went the extra mile on the door even when the pay is low.  All in all what it came across as is, "real life"

Another thing he said to me, since some of you would not had gotten his drift.

 "You too?" he asked wondering if i needed a drink myself.

"No, I just understand," I said.

Later he said, "Who drinks rye whiskey around here then... besides me," he quipped.

"My husband likes a Manhattan now and then...."

 It was surreal but back to my roots. I was a 15 year old bartender you know. The one bar I worked at, I opened at 6 am and people like him were waiting outside when I pulled up on my motorcyle, ready to get in there, carry my ice so I could make them a drink.

This whole story just kind of hits me in the gut.  Wow.

My life hits you in the gut... but in the heart too.  I wish people could spend a day in my body, you'd be amazed.  Better mine than his. I feel compassion for the guy, his wife and the helper with his 91 year old dad. It is hard to live in this world, It's painful.

What a difficult situation. I would've done the same though. And probably had a shot with him! It's sad that he needs it so bad he has to ask clients while on the job. If he didn't like you so much he would've probably stole a few sniffs which I think is a testament to to the fact that people feel welcome in your home, Elsa.

night_owl13 - thanks for pointing that out, it's helpful - more than you could know. :-)

I can't feel bad for alchie's when you grew up with one.

Glad you got a good deal though for the work.

**Alchie's = Alcoholic's

Oh man. if it were my house the only things I could serve him are food-related. Very dry sherry which I use for risotto, and amaretto which I use for tiramisu. I would not recommend either of them straight from the bottle . I like the way you handled it Elsa. 

ambidee-i've seen people drink mouthwash and rubbing alcohol if they are deperate enough.

Yes, nightowl_13 and Elsa - that's sort of what struck me but I didn't articulate it well.  I am amazed that he opened up and asked her.  Must have felt her energy was okay for that.

My ex husband was an alcoholic. But he didn't think he was an alcoholic. He could go days without a drink.... but the days sober never lasted. He had a good job, but quit going to work so he could stay home and play video games. I figured if he wasn't working, he couldn't drink because I wasn't buying it for him. Nah, his mom would come over on Sunday's and she'd give him money behind my back - then I'd come home from work and have to deal with his drunk ass. :( The two DUI's only served to slow him down temporarily, he had to go through rehab. As soon as rehab was over, he'd go get drunk with his sister. I couldn't win against a whole family that didn't get it... What part of S is an alcoholic and you probably shouldn't buy him wine making kits or bottles of booze for gifts don't you get?? I kicked him out one summer evening and never looked back. I loved him to pieces and he was my best friend but he didn't want to fix him self and I gave up trying to. :(

Good for you Lorielle!

I agree, good for you Lorielle!

Why quit a behavior that has no consequences....

He's back today to put the bathroom windows in. Seems in okay shape - I left a bottle in there for him which I told him would be there in advance. I don't want to be bothered, see?

He is pretty personable considering. Laughing his ass off at the soldier's indestructible saw horses at the moment.  When people come to your house they see how weird you are (assuming you are weird).  This is something a person can forget.

Lorielle - been there done that have the t shirt

second husband was a alcoholic but didn't think he was.   He was/is a professional artist and we spent years arguing how bad the problem was.   He had to give it up after the next DUI but I sent him to counseling and they said he wasn't so bad.   His life would crash and he would straighten out for a while and then the drinks came earlier and earlier and the weekends started on thursday night.   I would come home to an empty dark house because he surrounded himself with single male alcoholics and they would party all night out in his studio.  Like Lorielle his whole family was like that either reformed and righteous or in the gutter with him

I had a hard time trying to figure out where the boundaries were.   Can you really ask someone to stop drinking?   I worked around the problem for years and the deal killer was one day I was hospitalized while at work.   He didn't notice until 5am the next day because he was on a bender.  When he came to he blamed my daughter for my stress.  He was funny smart and very talented - but so wrapped up in the addiction - I wasn't there.

Left then - didn't look back.  He was a taurus with leo rising and saturn and pluto rising.

By the way, this guy emailed me a few days ago trying to get me to send him a check?  I got the idea he has no or little memory of what occurred here.  Either that or he thinks he is going to take me to court??

 in whatever case, the soldier wrote him back, told him he scared us and would have to do the work when he was home. He also told him if he did not complete the job within a month, we would hire someone else to finish it. No word since.

To update, I hired a husband and wife remodel team and they are repairing the damage the drunk did / finishing the windows. Cost less than what I would have paid the other guy.

Pretty sure they are doing a good job so more work for them around here..

Did the first guy ever come back to get his tools?

goddess - no. He emailed and asked me to mail him a check for $250. The soldier mailed him back, told him to finish the job (when he was home) and get paid.

We never heard from him again. (almost 3 weeks)

These people suggested he forgot where he left his ladder, etc. which is probably what happened.