So, how do you feel about attention? Want it? Hate it? Both at the same time? Do you have any Leo?

I'm conflicted. On the pro side:

• I have Leo midheaven and Mars and Saturn there.
• And a screaming need to get famous that I can't get to shut the hell up no matter how much I tell it to.
• I am a flashy dresser and if I had any singing or acting talent (I don't) or decent dance ability (I am pretty good but have no flexibility, so I'm regarded as sucking!), I'd be on stage, no question. 

On the con side:

•  I was a bully target growing up and I generally am terrified of people noticing I'm there because they will throw stones at me. Okay, not so much once I went to college, but I still get nervous.
• My mom is a starved attention whore and her needy drives me nuts, and I don't want to act like that to other people any more. I drove a lot of people off when I acted the way she does in college.
• On the rare occasions when I let my inner whining attention whore out on the Internet (let's say that I start a thread somewhere, or ask for help, or want to get attention in a class), I then feel mortified and don't read it for days and feel like a total dumbass when I see the responses and wish I hadn't said anything at all. (So I won't read this for like a week... be forewarned)
• I'm well aware that fame and attention don't make you a happy person or make you feel any better (see example #2), plus you can't even go to the mall any more in the worst-case scenarios. Is attention really worth that?

So, argh.

How are you on this issue?

I truly don't like it. I think it's an agony and would like to blend more but can't seem to.

I don't like attention. But I do like being recognized for a job well done. When I was a small kid I won quite a few awards/prizes for various things and I felt good about that, but later on when Pluto in Scorpio was opposing my later degree Sun I never won a thing and seemed to disappear. 

I have Uranus conjunct my Midheaven (5 degrees apart) and these days attract attention from unexpected places. I had to give a poetry reading as part of a college class requirement and I was sick with nerves. Then my instructor told me I looked calm and had a "presence" so..! Good old 1st House Capricorn Moon poker face.

Saturn in Leo in the 8th 

The ever whimsical Rob Brezsney posted a link to this article for Libra last week.

http://www.cracked.com/article_17061_5-things-you-think-will-make-you-happy-but-wont.html

I found it amusing.  Fame is number two.  I disagree (with the article) that this desire is totaly new to humanity, (i.e. Gilgamesh, hello, what was he after?)  However, In these modern times we have seen an increase in fame-fetish wares marketed towards women.   hmmmn.

I have leo mars, but its in the 12th house, so I find this whole issue a little soupy.

Saturns the guy giving you all the doubts, which are probably for your own good. Its like when you are about to do something foolish and you hear you Dads voice in your head telling you what a jackass thing youre about to do. Mars is chained to his rings which is where your frustration comes from.  It makes you want to sing chain gang songs in the shower.

One time Elsa posted a thing about Saturn transits and weight lifting.  I think this is great advice for any kind of Saturn frustration, if you're doin time, get in shape.

I want attention from my loved ones and attention/recognition for my art/writing--

And like Kashmiri said- appreciation for a job well done.

Otherwise, I don't like it much. I have venus in leo but in the 12th - also have lots of virgo energy.

When I go out, I wish I were invisible - with pluto in the first (and uranus, depending on house system used) I guess there's not much chance of that. I often feel stared at.

Hate it, even when I was a little kid I hated it. I was the kid who DID NOT want birthday parties because it meant I was the focus of attention. Oh and I'm an only child.  I have a leo moon, mars & saturn and it's in my 4th house. 

I'm very mixed about attention. I secretly want it, but when the spotlight is on me, I am unusually uncomfortable.

I have a Mars-ruled chart, and my Mars is in retrograde in leo in the 5th house. So one would think I would love attention, right? Although I do notice that I'm more of an attention-monger when it comes to my work: I like it when people admire the websites I design and I like it when people feel beautiful in my makeup applications. THAT is the kind of attention I don't mind basking in ;) I'd rather have my work get attention - not myself.

Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who go.. say into a new job and they sit quietly there for hours and say nothing and have no need to communicate at all.

I always have a question or two then everyone know that I'm there and then you can't dissappear even if you wanted to.

Sometimes some people react to me very strongly => too strongly and I hate that. It's like you can't say a sentence and next you can feel their anger.

How can they react to strongly to some they don't even know? I would like to avoid people like that!

Love it.  Want more of it.  Mostly from men.

See, I kind of wonder about you, Elsa, because you do have your real name and picture out there. You don't HAVE to have those details available about you these days in order to blog. I'd be pretty nervous if I ever "came out of the closet" like that and had everyone know yes, it's me.

I mostly go by the aforementioned nickname or by first name or first name/last initial. Folks in the know are aware of what my last name is, but I don't put it anywhere prominently any more. I also only have my picture on craft sites (I make wearable items so I kind of have to, but most of the time my face is blocked), I'd never smack it on the front page of any of my sites. Mainly because in the 90's I got random strange jerky guys e-mailing me to tell me how ugly I am. Lovely! 

I like attention. Leo rising can't deny it. 1st House Uranus doesn't want to be the same as everybody else, and hates the idea of conformity. It's a good thing - I know I'm an oddball and I couldn't fit in if I wanted to. So it's good that I don't.

I use my real name online. For me, it has nothing to do with attention. I feel like what I say means more when I use my real name.

Jenfullmoon - I was forced to live undercover for close to 10 years and becoming "easy to find" (again) was symbolic for me.

Also, I would have nowhere near the credibility I enjoy if I were not willing to state my name.

The picture is to offset my Mars-y voice as has been discussed on the blog many times.

Basically all the components have to be above board to make this work. 

Oddly enough I have had virtually no problems in my personal life due this blog. It is roundly ignored by everyone I know save satori who is part of this community.

 As for attention, you probably know the big astrology conference was held here and I did not know go because I would be recognized obviously.  Had I been able to go and be unseen, I'd have been there for sure but as it is...

 Well I am just an inner circle person, I don't know what else to say.  But I do wish to be credible and I don't wish to hide. 

That's very different than wanting attention and in fact if I ever got to a point where people approached me in the grocery store, I am sure I would flip.

As it is we're going to go live in the desert as soon as we possibly can (which may take 10 years) and at that point I will have a level of protection.

 I wonder if this does not have to do with the delay / non publication of my book.  People just might read the thing and if they do, then what?  I'm not sure I want to know.... at least not without being moved to the middle of desert surrounded by acreage and defended by a Green Beret who has no desire to talk to anyone who is not his son or his small (tiny) handful of friends.

If you think that sounds like a person who wants attention... well, that would be mysterious to me.

Oh, interesting, Elsa. I don't think it sounds like someone who does want it, I was thinking more along the lines of "if it bugs you, why do it." Generally speaking I don't care that much who knows what about me, but I am aware that I have to CYA for purposes of jobs or whatever, or at least not be so openly hippie/alternative.

I think I wouldn't mind so much "being famous" so much as the general public didn't know what I looked like enough to identify me in the grocery store and get stalked by paparazzi. I tend to think that if I went the fame-whore route, I'd have to stay unphotographed, and ESPECIALLY stay off video, for that to happen. (Yes, I nitpick this to death and it shocks people.) I don't know how realistic it is to avoid that, though. People LOVE visuals.

Hah, I should have said something about 1st house Uranus in the original post (I have that too). DUH, there's another factor. Really, y'all should see my rainbow color BOMB outfit that I wore to work today...

The reason I have written this blog (in the past) was because my daughter was very ill over a number of years and this made it impossible for me work at a regular job.

The reason I write it now is I am so incredibly invested. :(