My old roommate was a Virgo. I thought him to be an asshole tyrant, because you know what? He threw out jars of jam before I'd finished eating them. He was worried I'd get food poisoning. Those were some of the more rational things he did. I left that house under very bad feelings...Neither of us forgot.

Fast forward 7 years... A mutual friend died of liver failure, and it was after his death I heard what the Tyrant had been doing for him while he was dying: he was working all through the weekend, preparing carefully thought out meals to last our friend for the week. While many people were too traumatized to know what to do, our Virgo spent months and months attending to this dying man's needs. 

Thank you Virgo, for your ability to care for people who would otherwise be forgotten. 

awww, that's so sad. yet very touching. 

((kashmiri))

isn't it? seriously, Virgos are so good at caring about other people. This guy blew me away. Are they not the only zodiac sign represented by a human image?

This post reminds me of my father. He's got 5 planets in Virgo and Virgo Rising on top of that. I understand the "asshole tyrant" viewpoint too well, it's one my sister and I shared in our younger years. We were thoughtless, though, and couldn't appreciate what he was about...what he sacrificed for us while we were growing up.

I can only speak for myself, but what I've always appreciated about my dad is how no matter what we conflict upon (we are both stubborn and butt heads from time to time - must be those Fixed mode Moons) we always have the same basic outlook on life. Might be the Capricorn I have :) We can discuss things objectively, logically, which is so valuable when the other half of our family tends to run the gamut from emotional wreck to self-absorbed drama queen in times of crisis. To contrast, Mom & sister have fiery Moons

What used to be interpreted as soulless manipulation, a coldhearted refusal to understand, I can now appreciate as part of the Virgo gift of discrimination (yes, it's a gift, so says Neptune Rising) to break down a difficult problem and lay out a solution, no time flat... so simple it could be turned into a step-by-step program, complete with bullet points :P  

Even when it seems like he doesn't give two shits about what's going down, I've come to realize that he cares, always - silently doing what needs to get done, managing to pull it off near-perfect with little to no fanfare in return. His approach to problem-solving never fails to make me feel secure, and I hope that I take after him in this regard. 

I'm probably what you could call a "pretend-Virgo," what with my Sun/Mercury/Venus in the 6th house; so your story resonates with me. Used to get extremely irritated by the negative Virgo traits, they jump out at me all the time (hellooo Virgo South Node!) Now I can't imagine life without this special Virgo energy. I understand completely why Virgos get a bad rap. I'd just prefer for everyone to applaud what they do for us behind the scenes, even though that would embarrass them :)

francetta, I love that...interesting how your South Node in Virgo figures in this-does the degree conjunct any of your Dad's Virgo planets?

No, at least not without using a wide orb. But, it's one degree off from his Ascendant if that means anything. My South Node is 18 Virgo and the closest planet is his Pluto at 11 Virgo.

personally i think using a wider orb with outer planets is apt. 7 degrees is not that far of an orb, especially with pluto. Some people go as far as 10 degrees, but I think for me it feels too far.I think there's a post on the boards about this very subject, actually

I also think yes, for sure your South Node aspecting his ASC is a big deal, synastry wise. I bet you inform/teach him a lot without either you realizing it...

my dad's North Node is the same degree as my Moon and we definitely have a strong bond, the relationship feels very "old" if that makes sense

ah! and this would definitely explain your feeling that you have a similar view on life...my understanding about the Rising sign is it is your approach to the world...so he does his Virgo thing and you are innately familiar with it. Very cool to read about your relationship.

kashmiri, that is a lovely sentiment about you and your dad. Your moon and his NN are conj. in Capricorn? How amazing is that! By "old" could you mean the "I'm SURE we met in past lives" old, that type of relationship?

The ASC/SN dynamic you outlined for me has got me thinking! His South Node is in Capricorn which is my rising sign. Not too close to the horizon, no, but I'm sensing that this placement is also poignant in some way. 

My dad has his Neptune conj. Moon to exact degree at 13 Scorpio (conj. my Pluto - 10 Scorpio), I'm not skilled at connecting the dots, so to speak, between charts yet but I'm sure that somehow adds to our more subdued (for lack of a better word!) sense of solidarity. 

SN conj. Pluto in synastry - sounds to me like the 2 parties involved would be more enabled to transform some deeply seated negative traits when together. I don't know much at all about the Nodes in synastry, but for some reason that was the interpretation that came to mind...rather than Pluto exacerbating the muckiness the South Node represents...

What size orb do you think is best for the outer planets?

i love the nodes...especially thinking of them in synastry...i'm still very much in the learning stage, as with much of my astrology studies. I agree completely with your interpretation re: Pluto/SN, tho!

I wonder how often it happens?? My SN is Aries, so someone with Pluto in Aries would be, er, dead long ago, lol

I go for a nice number of 7... completely arbitrary...well, not really.

the aspects in my chart I focus on learning are no further than 7 degrees orb.  also i think it depends on which is at the earlier degree. Eg if Venus was at 5 degrees and Pluto was at 14 degrees, well, that would feel too far to me, because Pluto makes itself known before the conjunction (ie. 29-5 degrees)...then starts separating, and by the time Pluto is at 14 degrees, well, you can't feel it for all those degrees so intensely, right? sooner or later you need a break! so i think it's your own call, see what feels right to you, and hey, the further you get in your studies you can amend your philosophies re:orb degrees. 

eg.my NN is 13 degrees later than my Pluto...I don't really feel the connection. 

sorry, i totally didn't answer that question. educationally speaking, I think 8-10 degree orb for outer planets at the very most. And I think this is a commonly shared idea in astrology-land (at least with people I've spoken to about it)

here's the boards link:

boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/orb-settings-on-astro

I wonder I contradict myself in it, ha ha 

My dad and best friend are Virgo's and while they can be annoying about things, they are VERY helpful and generous. I have learned over the years what they are very good at and I let them shine in that area and it makes them happy.

Where they annoy me, I just tell them flat to their face "either do it yourself or shut up about it". At that point they usually make a face like someone farted in front of a head of state but they do back down. LOL

Well I had to read this thread - and it was very sweet. Tam, I also have no doubt your technique is very effective. I'd shut up, too (after making the face, of course)!

My dad is a Virgo. His parent's disowned him when he married my mom but he took care of them when they were old and bedridden. Both of them. Every day.

Sorry to hear this Kash. Virgo, as much as I clash with them are all about service. They're all about doing good in this world, and I highly appreciate them for this.

Jilly, wow...what a man. 

Lunalie, me too. (However my Taurus goes ballistic if my food supply is effed with, ha ha) 

Virgo on the good side is super compassionate.

Virgo on the bad side? When they touch my stuff.

Not bad for a bad side.

had a Virgo father - icomplete control freak - it was not pretty.

He however would do anything for his friends including rebuild their engines and fix their lawnmowers without charging them anything - I think he just wanted to be liked but when he got too old to fix their stuff for them he never heard from them again.

It was sad really.

I have moon in virgo - it is about selfless sacrifice.  I understood it and do it myself.  Have to stop myself from sacrificing when people aren't really gonna notice or care.

Like in the tarot - reversed hanged man - pointless sacrifice.

 Today I took the day off from my super demanding job in the middle of rebuilding the phone system.   Had to  - I was exhausted and having worked night and day on it for a week - I needed a break before the demands of rolling it out.   To continue without getting rest would be pointless sacrifice.

Kashmiri:

Funny about Taurus and food. I have a Venus in Taurus and I tend to show love for my loved ones through cooking them meals! Hahha! Although sometimes I think that's more a Cancer Moon thing, but it's interesting how Taurus and food are just so inseparable. My SO has a Taurus ascendant and you have to kick him out of the table for him to stop eating. :P 

My Mother is a Virgo. I wish I could find out her time of birth so I could get her chart to possibly try to understand her more and why our relationship has always been so very difficult. She's not doing well and I'm trying to find it in my heart to forgive her. She was very difficult and abusive. But I know it had a lot to do with her drug and alcohol addictions. Inspite of having a substance abuse she managed to have a successful career and retire Asst Director of Anatomical Pathology. My younger sister who is an Aries got along better with her than I did. All she ever did my entire life was pop my happy Sagittarius bubbles that I always tryed to bounce to her. Because of the relationship I have always had with my mother, I have a negative view of Virgo's. Overall. I don't think Virgo's like or appreciate me anyway. So I don't attract them. However, this is my mother. The most important relationship one can have. One that shapes who you are. I don't have the time to begin to tell you the challenges I've had to overcome as a result of having a low self image for many years. But I pride myself on never turning to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain. I don't even smoke cigarettes. My mother drank, smoked like a chimmney and did drugs as long as I can remember. In fact, I beleive she probably would be still smoking and doing drugs if she wasn't sick with COPD. I didn't want to become my mother and swore I would never abuse drugs, alcohol or smoke. I guess I have my mother to thank for that at least.

My dad's Moon in Virgo drives me crazy!

Sometimes I just want to take care of myself and he does it for me.

I just want to be independent (Sun-Uranus conjunction), but how am I gonna prove I'm good at something if he always does it for me?

That's one bad thing about Virgo, they need to let people do things on their own once in a while!

Kashmiri, I bet you hated they guy at first, lol!

((cosmickisses2u))

Jilly, I think I have too much pride to do that (moon in leo)! If someone doesn't care about me than I don't care about them!

I am both giving (Pisces Ascendant) and selfish(Mars in Aries, Moon in Leo). I give, but only with reason. 

Why give to people who think nothing of you?

I love what everybody has said, very cool. my Grandmother has Venus in Virgo (though not much) & not sure if that's all of it, positive it's not. But she's always been very helpful and right there to be of service while others in my family weren't able, like Mom (which is fine). She's almost 93 and still is there for me when I really need her (emotionally somewhat & def. financially from time to time when she's able). She's very self-sacrficing, is comfortable now & shares some of that w/ me too. Am very grateful! L

cosmickisses...

oh dear. i just read your line, "All she ever did my entire life was pop my happy Sagittarius bubbles that I always tryed to bounce to her."

and it made me cry. 

dina2

In her cruel insensitive way, my mother did prepare me for life's harsh realities. I thank her for that.

((hug))

Cosmic Kisses: I too had a horrible relationship with my mother who was emotionally and psychlogically abusive. Long story. I've studied reincarnation and metaphysics from age l6, and from what I've learned is this: before we incarnate into this physical existence we choose our parents, know their flaws, know the family dynamics, etc. We know what we're walking into. SOOOO, obviously you chose this woman because of the dynamics and stuff that would evolve from the relationship and for the lessons you would learn. It's painful. I can speak from my experience that I have been traumatized from it but I'm one hell of  strong broad. I've been to hell and back and I can march thru the worst storm flung at me. But, you know - pain is pain and all the platitudes in the world can't fill up the hole that an abusive mother creates. 

No one is a victim when we incarnate. We all know what's coming at us. How we choose to handle it is up to us. The only thing you take into the next life are your strengths and your lessons and the kindness you leave behind. So stand tall, be kind and keep the faith. You came from your mother but you are not your mother.

Well, I don't know if this qualifies as a "beautiful act", but the only Virgo I ever dated was also the best lay of my life. Whew!

piya! ha ha ha!

Just stumbled across this. So often, we Virgos are misunderstood. We are really trying to help---not trying to piss you off by throwing out your stuff---but trying to keep you from getting sick!

It has often been too late for me to explain things (besides it seems I wouldn't be believed!) Sometimes I've wondered, should I have even bothered to do this or that for that person? A more suspicious sign (like a Scorpio) will assume you're up to no good, when all you really want to do is help!