blue_rose just reported visine being squirted into the food of problem customers in fast food restaurant, with the blessing of the manager. I worked in food service for a lot years and thankfully only saw one gross thing, ever but her comment made me think it would be interesting to ask people what they've learned at their job. Trade secrets or tips and tricks.

Anyone?

some nursing home and hospital employees use vicks vapo rub under their nostrils til they get immune to the smell

i've also seen the food thing first hand

bank employees do gossip about your banking activity and who is writing checks to whom--oh yeah, here they do

IF YOU GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM FOR SOMETHING STUPIDLY EMBARRASSING LIKE PEANUTS IN YOUR NOSE OR SOME OTHER OBJECT IN AN ORIFICE WHERE IT SHOULDN'T BE THEY WILL LAUGH AND TALK ABOUT IT FOR WEEKS..SOMETIMES YEARS AFTER YOU LEAVE. or it could be a rash, or you could be a known druggie..it doesn't matter, they do talk about and gather your personal info and use it for entertainment--yes, i've seen it. But then again, if go around sticking stuff in places that get stuck people are going to make fun of you. They just are.

I'm telling you..don't you dare think for a minute that something like that isn't going to make the employee gossip line at the hospital. HIPPA ha..yeah, good luck with that.

ok, generalization disclaimer here..not ALL employees behave this way. But in the ER situation, some will refrain, but there will be that person who will dress up as you during the annual Halloween party. Yes, they will.

i watched bar managers refill top shelf bottles with well liquor (so illegal)

the "beef" at taco bell is anything but (chicken heads anyone?)

the back room in your local grocery store is anything but clean (wash everything you buy..  and i mean everything.....)

the daily "specials" in any restaurant are either made of product that is about to spoil, or yesterdays leftovers (seafood especially..  high cost, short shelf life)

designers don't give a shit what you think looks good, you're wrong (they just want to get paid)

those "fresh" flowers you just picked up were cut a week ago on another continent (yay for cold storage)

Xanthan gum is a common "natural" thickening agent used in many foods..  it's derived from the black shit that grows on broccoli (dehydrated by an AMONIA evaporation process)

if you are afluent enough to hire landscapers.. do bring them ice cold drinks (very greatly apreciated)

rantares - xanthan gum. holy that is disgusting!!!!

@michele..  i read the ingredients list of everything i buy.  xanthan gum is usually the very last and is found in a lot of products..  if possible, look for products that contain locust bean gum instead, it is also a thickening agent, but it is made from the seeds of locust trees (without amonia evaporation)

also- carageenan..  yeah,  that's bug juice, literally.  it's a red food coloring that comes from a slime excreted by a certain beatle in souteast asia that allows them to cling to trees.  the shit is literally scrapped of the trees when it's harvested, bringing with it whatever bugs get in the way. 

noooooooooooo

i thought carageenan came from seaweed!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrageenan

god.

i will never rid myself of these images....

oh oh oh..  you are right.. i'm wrong.  my appologies, i mispoke.  yes carageenan does come from seaweed!!!

sorry, it's COCHINEAL that comes from bugs..  red lake 40. 

What does the Visine do? I googled but it's not clear.

it is thought that ingesting visine will give a person explosive diareah..  which isn't true.  but if someone actually drinks a lot of it, they may end up having seizures. 

http://www.ehow.com/about_4739839_visine.html

I am cured of fast food and processed food addictions.

The receptionist, even if they sound caring, have heard it all and do not give a shit, you can't make the flight because you hurt your arm someone else called to cancel a hotel because they were stuck in an avalanche, they know exactly where to transfer you and will keep cutting you off even if you're telling them to wait, especially if you're being rude, there is always protocol in every service job

rantares, this is so interesting, if you have any more advice like this, please keep them coming

If you're nasty to a barista (or if they overhear you being nasty to the co-worker that is taking your order), there is some possibility that you will get decaffed. Never did it myself but saw it plenty of times.

This is particularly true if you're known to be the short-fused type.

what do you think they use to color your red cake mix with?

carageenan

Eww.

I am a flight attendant and people often forget that I serve them food as well.

Don't be rude.

If you are, don't eat or drink anything inflight.

You are not entitled and if you're rude, your bag may NOT make it to where you are.

You know what kind of hassle it is to deal with airlines these days?

I worked at a bar/restaraunt for along time, and if a customer thought that there drink wasn't strong enough this one bartender would pour a little liquor down there straw so when they took the next sip the got a jolt!!

Try to listen to what your computer assistance person tells you (usually, to clean up the hard disk and doing the system updates) before telling the person, with a holy conviction, that the computer/connection is not working. Otherwise, the person may memorize your passwords and hack to the computer later. I'm not saying this happens a lot, since computer assistance services are usually understaffed. But if a client has the same problem and the same attitude the third time in two months, they just might.

When you're getting maintenance prescriptions, try to avoid having them filled the first of the month.  That's our busiest week, hands down.  So there will be more of a wait.  Also, 3:00 when factories let out, lunch hour and 5:30.

We can't possibly fill everything right away.  Sometimes we have over 100 scrips on the line when we open in the morning.  We have to prioritize. Try to call at least one day ahead and it will be filled and waiting for you, instead of you waiting on it. We like to make you happy, and we don't like your wait any more than you do.  If you have a prescription that never seems to be in stock, call two days.  We should be able to order it in by then.

The pharmacist can't answer the phone every time it rings.  Nothing would ever get done.  They are the only ones who can double check the scrip and later, the fill. So every half an hour, or 15 minutes if it's not busy, she checks the line for prescriptions.  I know your doctor told you it would be ready when you arrived, but he doesn't work here, and we do. 

Sometimes you're sitting on the bench because Dr's instructions are missing, illegible or vague.  Or your prescription is so expensive your insurance company refuses it.  No, we're not making it up to mess with you.  Is that any way to stay in business?  Do you take anything for that paranoia?

Sometimes we know of less expensive alternatives.  Let us help you.  If you're rude (because of the cost) we simply won't attempt to tell you.  We don't want our head bitten off.

Diphenhydramine is the same ingredient in Benadryl, sleeping tablets and some motion sickness pills like Dramamine.  (actually dramamine comes in two ingredients, diphenhydramine and meclezine-which is less drowsy)

The generic is the same ingredient at the same strength.  When you go on and on about name brand it's funny. The name brand factory probably makes your generic.

No, all your generics aren't made in China.  Most of them are made in Europe.

Don't ever get on the wrong side of the law.

I worked in corrections for 2 years.  It was NOT pretty.  Tick off the staff in a jail or prision and you just might find that you don't really have all the rights you thought you were entitled to.  And the judge will magically not care to hear your sob story about how you were treated in jail.  And don't ever tick off your own lawyer.  Boy are you in for a surprise if you do.

And word to the wise.  Never say yes OR no to an offer from a judge.  You might not like what you get.  Find out what the alternative to the offer is before you say yes OR no to the offer.  If the judge isn't having a good day and you say no to his offer you might be sorry.  If he IS having a good day and you say no to his offer you might get something worse.  So, find out what the alternative to the offer is BEFORE you say yes or no to the offer.

magicmark....

I hope I never need to cash in on that advice, but it's good to have it in my pocket ;)

Cheers.

For a few years I worked in audit for the Federal Government.

My job was to analyse tax returns to find tax cheaters.

It was so easy.

I had access to every single federal, provincial and local records of the individuals going back 7 years.

Employment records, property assessments, and everything under the Sun.

The moral of the story: do not cheat as you will be caught.

BTW, I did not enjoy this job/career and moved on as I found the whole business depressing, boring and oh so predicatable.

Hmm, working in the retail sales world for really too long of a time....

We remember you if you're really over the top rude, and shout at us. And if you come back, and earn a bad reputation, we'll probably spread the word the moment you walk into the store, and by the time you make it to the second or third floor, we all remember you, and will be coolly polite, with our managers backing us.

Never think for a moment that you don't have at-least one pair of slightly bored eyes on you in a store. Not in the criminal capacity, that's what the camera's and security are for--I think. But in the noticing little details about you as you move thru foriegn territory. We know how to move thru our store like shadows, and when you hit your child just because your life didn't turn out how you planned, or scream at your husband/wife/partner for having poor taste, or shove your way in front of a mirror to admire yourself, we're taking notes, and will remember you when you ask for help.

As an aside: I generally think any job worth doing is worth doing to the best of my abilities. Which is why I know where I stop, and can do no more. If I can't break the rules to make you happy, I won't, and tough cookies. I'm human, not a superhuman.

P.S. And we make up names or titles for the chronically rude customers. We're an imaginative bunch. ; )

And I wouldn't spit, or pollute someone's food if they cussed me out. It's disgusting, and animalistic imo. I worked briefly in the food service industry, and never did it. I just did my job. Where's OSHA when my 6th house stellium needs them? hehe.

I've worked in government before, and have three things I'd like to share:

1.  When you call us, any of us, you are talking to an underling.  We can't change policy, and there's no point in getting up in a tizzy about it.  If you're really, really up in arms about something, contact someone who is politically appointed.  They're the ones YOU elect, not us, and they are hungry for votes and will do anything to please you.  We are only following the rules that they set forth for us, and management is also subject to this.  Ask to be transferred to someone higher, and you are only speaking to a glorified underling who is subject to the same rules.  Sorry!

2.  We complain about government workers just as much as you do.  In fact, it's just as big of a joke amongst us as it is among non-public employees.  Our paycheck is messed up? "damn government employees".  Electricity goes out at work? "you know how those public employees are".  Someone's gossiping about you? "I heard she works for the government, obviously she has nothing better to do".  You can't come up with any better joke about us than we've already said about ourselves.

3.  Yes, we are taxpayers.  Please don't use the, "I'm a taxpayer" line on us.  Many, many government employees are also politically active on our own time (although we are barred from being so in the office unless in a politically appointed position) and will vote for the issues that effect us as well as you.  If you are concerned with where your tax dollars are going, stop bitching and vote.

i think your point works for anyone you talk to on the phone jocelyn..

i did a couple of (very short) stints in telemarketing.  one job in particlur was at a printing company, and my job was to sit there all evening calling customers whose orders were misprinted, and inform them there would be a delay (without compensation).  this was intentionally timed to catch people at home (having dinner).  needless to say, i spent every minute of that job getting yelled at by people i'd never met.  it was aweful..  but it wasn't like i had any control over their orders.  i was just letting them know someone else fucked up.

DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER!!  because it's never their fault, and everyone is just trying to make a living..  some jobs just suck a lot more than others. 

OMG rantares, that sounds like an AWFUL job!

I had a job as a receptionist before where I had a panic button under my desk.  Not because the receptionist has ANY control over anything involved with the customers, but as the first face people see, that's usually the one who gets it.  Just knowing I could possibly have to use it someday made me anxious.

it was a horrible job..  i was only there 6 weeks (and three of those weeks were training).  then there was the woman i shared the cubical with..  450lbs and smelled like cat piss.  i had no problem calling in sick and never going back. 

Jocelyn has stated what I've been thinking.  I'm another Cap that worked government service. 

I used to get the phone calls that others didn't want to handle.  Once I got one yelling person.  I sent that call to the "front office", 3 levels above me, and told that boss I wasn't paid enough money to put up with that kind of abuse.  I later apologized to said boss.  We'd been told to transfer the abusive calls up front.  I think I told the caller I was transferring him to someone high enough to do something about it. 

There was the call from the ignorant person that said all I did was make up laws so I could have a job.  I told her I worked in the executive branch that carred out the laws made by the legislators that she voted for.  It went right over her head.  Her complaint was not wanting government to tell her she couldn't put her household raw sewage into the creek.  I told her about sewage borne pathogens, increasing the size of the organisms, until she finally choked and said everybody should follow the law.  I made her stomach turn over a few times.  (Ef with a Cap trying to do her job, damn it!) 

True government joke:  A reporter once asked Governor Happy Chandler how many people worked in that new state office building.  Happy thought for a moment and answered, "About half of them." 

One thing to add to the telemarketer thing- I used to (try) to sell magazine subscription renewals. I was such an awful salesperson because I just am not that cutthroat-- but one thing that will stop ANY sales calls (go register at the do not call list if you haven't already) in their tracks is to interrupt and say these magic words "Excuse me, but is this a sales call?" They are LEGALLY BOUND to IMMEDIATELY answer you. Sometimes they will try to go on, but just politely repeat, "Is this a sales call?" if they say yes, just say "Thank you for your time, but PLEASE TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST." and those are the magic words.

Visine in food? What would that do I wonder? Constrict one's intestines?

I am a receptionisit and have daily contact with the public on the phones.  I find when I get someone who is irrate, the worst thing to do is argue with them to get them to see how assinine they are being. The tip I use to calm them down is take down the information and promise it will get to the right person and i  apologize that they are experiencing so much frustration. That calms them right down. I think they just want to be heard.

@Sue ellen: LOL! true!

Not sure what Visine does...but from what I've read it can do nasty things to the body.

The last guy I dated (a Cap) was a regular at my sister's restaurant. After we stopped seeing each other, he became a real prick and caused some trouble with her and her bosses. No boundaries and no manners. I mentioned the Visine trick to my sister in case he acted up again.

She didn't do it, thank God. He probably would have sued the company into oblivion.

For mobile phones:

BUY insurance. At that time many customers had the expectation the company should replace their cell phones for free. ???? If a TV craps out, one doesn't call the cable company to demand a TV do they?

Buy a protective cover for your phone. I'm constantly dropping my iPhone, the case absorbs most of the impact. Also, buy a film protector as well, if available.

If a client is abusive, their behavior is documented and flagged for the next person. One will catch more flies with honey....most of the time. If the rep still has an unnecessary attitude, escalate to their manager and report their behavior; chances are, they've been reported before.

It's highly unrealistic to expect perfect cellular service 100% of the time. Granted, there are indeed problem spots, which should be reported. If a person is on their cell during rush hour, so is everyone else. Calls can/will possibly drop due to heavy volume. They will also drop in fortified buildings with no windows.

One can boost signal strength with a Microcell in the home, this is handy for folks who don't have a landline and are not in the optimal range of the closest cell tower. For example, high rise apartments.

Rantares is right, don't shoot the messenger and try to avoid using "YOU" language. I admit that some clients were so hateful, I cried afterward. I was called so many names, c---, whore, fucking moron, bitch, "I hope you die!" statements, and more. Angry folks are creative.

There's something about cellular service that triggers outrageous behavior in some people.

One I thought of that is true for coffee places and food service in general is that when you have a really large takeout order (ten people or more), CALL IT IN AHEAD, as far ahead as you can possibly manage.

This will give people a heads up to expect you, and they can start getting prepared for you when they're relatively slow. If you spring it on them unexpectedly, it will take more time because oddly enough, they do have other people to serve. If they know you're coming and they can get everything in place ahead of time, your wait time will be much shorter.

This really should be common sense and not any kind of "inside skinny", but you'd be surprised what people expect done in 5 minutes or less ;).

One more thing, if you drop your phone in water, fish it out as FAST as you can, and take your SIM card out IMMEDIATELY!! If you don't know how, figure it beforehand, just in case. If the phone doesn't survive, at least the SIM card is intact.

Shake and wipe off excess water and shove that sucker in a bag of rice. I speak from experience, my iphone worked fine afterward. Hehe

Yeah, I've been called a bitch, an asshole, and a fucking moron.   Or a hand thrown inches from my face and being told not to say "another fucking word"     It's very hard to remain calm, because it feels like an assault and you want to cry, closely followed by anger. 

I'm fairly certain this kind of behavior is more recent, the last ten or so years.  I don't think this would have been tolerated in my mothers time.

Visine used to give the ingester the immediate stomach contraction and runs.  Unfortunately, to those in the bar business, they changed the recipe for it, and it doesn't work anymore.

when you hire somebody who is a service provider, such as an accountant or lawyer, pay their invoice promptly. Do not assume they need your business. If you want their full attention, if you want them to take you seriously as a customer and do your work FIRST, pay the invoices promptly and cheerfully.

If you insist in stringing them out for 30+ days on payment, do not expect them to put your work at the top of their to do list. They will put your work last, you will become what I call "grout" which is to say that they will fill in their slow time wiht your work, they will not make it a priority. The other clients who pay promptly will always receive attention ahead of those who are late payers.

What makes me frustrated is when I've taken down information about an irate customer who has every right to be, and no one acts like they need to get on it.  I've promised this person we would look into it, and though my word may not mean much to my coworkers, it means quite a bit to me. 

Fortunately my boss is the same way, so I can go up the chain if I need to.  But when she has the day off I usually go home longing for a stiff drink.

Many actors have had eye lifts. This gives them a perpetually startled look. In the industry this is referred to as "ghost eyes." As all one can see is the whites of their eyes.

To properly film these actors special techniques are required.

Lighting is key. You need to use gels on the lamps to hide this look. Vaseline was in the early days.

Make up and a lot more is involved.

The worst thing we ever did to anyone at Starbucks was "de-caffing"

If you were an asshole, you got a decaf shot instead of a regular. 

@Nota, did they come back for more? LOL