My boyfriend was goading me into telling me which partner I've been with sexually that was the best I ever had.

I hedged. My sun is in Pisces, my moon and rising are in Leo. My Venus (Pisces) and Mars (Aries) are in tight conjunct with my sun.

What difference does it make? I cringed when I asked him how he'd answer the same question: "It's a toss up between you and (his last ex)!", he said.

Which totally made me feel weird. Not badly,  just weird. I'm sorry I asked. Is it because I don't like being compared to someone? Am I insulted I'm not the winner, hands down?  Is it because that puts me in a competitive position to get the number 1 position? Is it because I really don't like his ex and hope never to be put on the same level playing field as her?  Is it because my best sex ever -is- him, but now that I know I'm not his top, I don't want to give him the satisfaction?

Usually I'm an open book, but I was reluctant to spill on this one and really just wanted the entire conversation to go away. But, he kept insisting I tell him who my "best sex ever" was, and if he knew who was the best and it wasn't him, he had something to aim at in terms of improving his own performance.

I kept saying I didn't want to get into it - it's too dangerous of territory to venture into. 

So, lay it out: If your partner asked you to share who the best sex you ever had was - even if it wasn't him- would you dish, or keep your mouth shut? 

I wouldn't be with a man stupid enough to ask!!! :-)

Hahahahahha! He was totally acting like, "C'mon! Tell meeeeee!" and hopping back and forth on one foot. He's a Gemini, btw.

I was all going, "Uh....why? Who cares? What differenc does it make? I don't want to talk about this."

yeah, I'd never answer a question like that outside of a big ol' FUCCCCCCCCCCCK You!! :-)

haha gemini.  You're taking this too personally.  He just wants to have a saucy conversation.  Make something up.  Tease him.  Or be honest and tell him you know he just wants to have some fun but the topic is too emotionally touchy for you and could we just find another way to have some fun.

I think maybe he is also trying to get a little disclosure on past partners, alittle disclosure on sex attitudes/philosophy...etc.  basically he trying to get closer to you and understand a side of you he thinks hes not seeing and hes just really crappy at designing questions that ellicit the proper response.  Call him out ask him, do you really want to know who the best was, or do you just want me to reveal some secrets?

I just have to point out here that not all Geminis are idiots.  :)

 My answer would be "you, of course" with big eyes and a smirk that made him wonder if I meant it or if I was being sarcastic.  There would also be the strong suggestion that his answer should be the same, possibly emphasized by the fact my hands were clamped around his balls at that moment. 

Lupa, lol...

I def. wouldn't answer directly....would probably do the languid..."oh, did you say something about best....oh, you're the best" ....and then get him off the track there and onto something better.....

but if it was a gemini hopping up and down on one foot or the other insisting for a response, well, i think i would excuse myself to the bathroom, get dressed real quick and run away.....but i'm double pisces and i know you've got leo, luci

so, in that case, i'd throw back my mane and roar...a 'how dare you' (sounds like you already have) and then reconsider if he's worthy of entering my lair again...

Notatirem: Oh, it was probably typical Gemini; wanting answers and forgetting everyone isn't as blunt as they are. :D

I usually am. I'm usually down for sharing and telling it all like it is. This time, something made me hesitate. 

What made you hesitate was because it definitely was an odd question and one he should have not asked if he were mature.....but, once asked I would go with Lupa's answer, I think....I am trying to think how angry I would be and it would take me a while to cool down to be cool enough to answer in a suave rico kind of way so as not to let him know how pissed I was.  I don't know...I would be so mad that he made a comment about his ex....I would just be so mad...

Sorry....I am not being much help for you on this.... 

Well, I don't think he meant it maliciously. He's one of those people that's just bluntly honest, and doesn't figure that what he's saying could hurt someone. 

Plus, she likes a key something that I've tried to do and couldn't repeat due to the fact it was very physically painful for me. 'Nough said; I'm sure you ladies can figure out what I'm talking about.

He's never, ever made me feel inferior because of it. Ever.  But I know that's why he ranks her so high - it's something he enjoys a lot sexually. He just can't share it with me.

He does think I'm the best at the BJs ever, so, I guess it's something.

But when he gets on that, man, it makes me cringe, wondering who the hell wants to know that sort of thing!? Who wants to put themselves in an uncomfortable position of knowing their partner thinks sex with SOMEONE ELSE might be more fun!?  

I honestly don't know how I would answer that question - even if I asked myself. Even the worst was adequate. :) I like sex. I like a lot of sex.... and I love younger men. My ex was 10 years younger than me. Online dating sites don't seem to cater to women looking for older men but they are more than willing to cater to old men looking for younger women. Eww. Sorry, off subject here. The Scorpio man I am seeing right now is pretty good... he's also 10 years younger than me. 

I think the orgasm I am having at the time is the best.

har har, Uranus in the 8th(ish)

ROFL Elsa!  Seriously.

I mean, I've had partners that were more interested in exploring than others, but...everyone is different, ya know? Hard to pick one over another. 

I would say ...prove you are the best big boy...stop messing about!! And oooops...inconclusive... we need a re-match!!

Gem here, 8th house.  I can honestly say, the best sex I've ever had is always with whomever I'm having sex with.   When I decide to have sex, it's gonna be good.  These days, I just wish I had more of it. :)

This is always an odd question. I've been asked it a couple of times and what I go with when its a partner asking is that sex is different each time and with each person. Its comparing cake, purple and bicycles. My favorite sex is the sex I'm having right now and the only sex I'm having right now is the sex I'm having with youuuuuuuuuuu end convo.

. . And when its people who aren't involved I rate technically and its a double pisces ;) 

LOL Lupa

I'm with Elsa - the sex I'm having now is the best!

But yeah ... I'm not answering that.  Or I'm (hello, gemini) making up a grand fantasy that doesn't answer the question AND distracts my partner into more of that current sex.

Booyah.

I've never been asked this. I wouldn't answer; I think it's bad manners. But if someone asked me what I liked in bed, I'd be waayyyyy into a conversation about that. I also have Aries Mars. There is no 'best' there is just hot hot hot and god bless when the temperature rises.

Hi Luci, I would guess that your guy has a strong Gemini somewhere in his chart (Mars, Pluto, BML or Eros). If this is the case then he's got a degree of voyeurism in him.  If you're into this then in my opinion there really is nothing wrong if you give in to the question and answer it as openly as you can without feeling insulted afterwards.  Kind of weird but he finds satisfaction in mentally picturing you making out with another man and the only reason why he asked what's your best sex ever is because he is trying to create your standard in his mind.  Don't worry, it's all in his head.  Nobody really wants to admit to sexual voyeurism.  But if you're sensitive enough, you can sense this in a lover.  And giving in to him tells him that you understand him.  Your manner makes the difference altogether.  If you keep your cool and confidence and ever so matter-factly in responding to him, he will respect you even more.  For him, there's a very confident woman, proud of herself and who doesn't really give a damn about what he thinks.  Your objectivity in this case, makes you look sexy and adorable.   

Sorry didn't read the full thread.  Indeed the guy is a Gemini. 

It's only bedroom talk nothing too personal about it.  I agree with Notatirem 100%. 

The Gemini lover lives in their fantasies and they've got a whole Pandora's box of 'em!  The best way to respond is taking the risk to peek what's inside the box. Ocassionally.

My partner would never ask that! NO WAY!!!

Well... if you put two fiery marses together, what do you get? ;) MOUAHAHAHAH! 

I wouldn't answer, wouldn't accept any answer from my partner, would definitely get pissed about it for days and would never, ever let it go even if it was never mentioned by either of us again.

When you're my partner, your sex life begins and ends with me, whether we're monogamous or not.  I don't want to hear about other partners, their predilections, or your rating system.  I better be the only effing women in your head at every solitary second you're with me, and if not and you're fucking me with someone else's hard-on you better never, ever let me know. 

Yeah, I can be a bit possessive about those things. :)  Leo sun demands respect, loyalty, and complete devotion, and Mars-Venus-Pluto in Libra cannot accept anything less than all, ever.

This is a terrible question! Why would he ask this? And "it's a toss-up between you and my ex"... boy I'd be damaged by this one.

The "sex with people before I met you" convo is never good. Even if you think it is... even if you're playing "we're best friends, we can talk about aaannnnyyything..." you really just shouldn't go there.

If you have a great sex life with your man, this line of questioning can potentially ruin a good thing. And if you have the slightest problems in the bedroom, it's going to just make them worse.

My now-ex used to tell me about all the wild sex he had with the girl down the road. They did it everywhere, in parking lots, in a corn silo, you name it. Not only were the places taboo, but the whole experience was. He was serious with someone else at the same time -cheating! ("I was young and stupid," he'd say. Stupid Gemini.)

So whenever I'd get to feeling like he wasn't interested in me sexually or was just too lazy to make the move, I'd flash back to his wild stories from youth and seethe a little. Why her? Why not me? Why can't you be crazy and wild with ME?

Nope, the "who was your best" convo should be avoided entirely. Unless of course you're in the throes of post-coital bliss and he turns to you and says "hot damn, you're the best I've ever had." HELLOOOO.

Hmm...I won't get too deep with this, but...I haven't really had any good sex as of late. I always leave feeling like I want more, more, and more. With Venus in Gemini, I love pillow talk...the whole way through. I miss having that. It seems like I'm never satisfied until I pass out from pleasure..!!!

{{{citygirl1980}}} - here's hoping you find some good loving soon!

luci - it sounds like this Gem needs a good mind-f**k from time to time.  Titillate him if you desire to play mind-masturbation with him.  If not, tell him to "piss off and if he thinks he's the best, he better keep trying, cuz he's got a loooooooooooooong way to go.  ahhhhmmm, I hate to say anything guy, but maybe you are falling way, way too short in this department."

Either way, he's getting worked up in his brain and maybe elsewhere as well.  Whether you want to lay down for that?  (all puns intended) Up to you.  Tell him to keep aiming because he hasn't even registered on the Luci's Best Richter Magnitude Scale yet.

Question for those in the know - do all Gems fall into the Chinese astrology sign of the snake?  as in more cold-blooded than hot?  I'd just assume this guy is and keep playing my little mesmerizing snake-hypnotizing flute if I wanted him to hang around.

If not?  I'd hack his two-heads off and send him packing.  Why would you tell him he's the best and feed that sucker satisfaction and let him relax into placidity????  Sounds too much like flacid to me and as Aunt Lovie always said, "A hard man is good to find!"

Well, as a Scorp sun I never ask that question because I already know the answer... rather, the real question is how lousy were the others before I came along ;-)

And yes, modesty is one of my virtues.