elizard, I do get emotional, and I've had casual sex...the emotions just might not be the ones you're thinking of. I'm still good friends with a man I had casual sex. I think one needs to look at:

-why they are having sex

-who they are having sex with

-what part of the Soul is being fed by this.

-check the shame/guilt/unhappiness meter 

Hence I said I need to be happy...in a good place. If you can't do it, you can't. I have a close friend who is a lesbian, and she once explained to me how intimate/moving/intense it can be having sex with someone of the same gender as you. I feel like I understood. I think sensuality is very important too. but I think everyone needs to define it for themselves. What work for me with my Mars in Aries might not work for you.

elizard - I am no expert! But maybe better to accept who you are, work on that -- accept your nature. So casual sex isn't for you. No big deal. It's not good for me either.

Now, if you are being driven up a wall by urges, you can always flirt madly, do other stuff that is super aries mars physical--

I know it's not the same. I hope I didn't misunderstand your post. I read it quickly. Will read again

But if something don't feel right, then don't do it...........

Or elizard, search for someone who's looking for what you are looking for. I think sexuality and intimacy are precious, sacred, holy-- all the more reason to follow your gut

Oh geez, I'm such a stick in the mud about casual sex.  The guy I lost my virginity to, I didn't know very long beforehand....but I think I was just ready to see what the hype was about....wasn't necessarily looking for casual sex.  I had "casual" sex once and cried all day the next day, it's JUST NOT ME!  I felt incredibly disgusted with myself, which is not a reflection on how I feel about other people who have casual sex, in fact I wish I were more detached from the emotions of it all.  I imagine if I were to divorce I'd pretty much be celibate for a reaaaallyyy long time.  What a waste of my Leo and Scorpio sexiness, huh?  haha.

My Mars is in Cancer and Venus in Virgo.......surprise, surprise.

a thought: do you guys equate casual sex with one night stands? I don't think of them as the same thing. 

I've got Mars and Venus conjunct in 2H Cancer

Square Uranus in 5H Libra

Opposite Jupiter in 8H Cap

Philosophically, morally, I have absolutely no objection to casual sex between consenting adults.  Me?  Most of my friends are at least occasional lovers, so by the time we get there I know that I like you and that you're cool.  Then we can have lots of surprising (kinky, weird, inventive, whatever) sex - and I'm even willing to work hard at it.

*snort* 

I think one night stands fall into the casual sex category....but casual sex doesn't always mean one night stands.  For me, casual sex is sex without expectation of x, y, and z.

I have mars in scorpio quincunx saturn in the 8th.  if I'm attracted enough to someone to want sex I can't even have a casual handshake with them.  even if it's a one night stand it still feels something other than casual.

Yeah I'm with Satori. I've got pluto crawling all over me so to start with it's hard enough to find someone who doesn't run and hide under the bed. Plus add venus sq mars into the mix and I have a double whammy. I have no problems with casual sex and wish I had more opportunities (leo venus says adore me) but there has to be that intense, complex attraction or I may as well stay home and do needlepoint. I am willing to wait however because when the man is right, the sex is too.

Whew missed alot of this.  Jessica - I did have alot of partners when I was younger but it was more being under the influence and not knowing how to get out of the situation.

I tried the very casual recently but I didn't feel good about it because I just ended up with feelings.  Also with venus sextile saturn I prefer a long term relationships.  Unfortunately I have a very powerful sex drive with mars conjunct pluto but long term relationships are very far and few between with me. 

How did I miss this post? Sheesh!

I have had casual sex, though it's much more awkward for me with strangers (afterward...the "walk of shame" home) than it is with people I've had previous relations--"oh bai! see you in a few weeks!".

Oh yeah--I have Pisces Mars trine Sag Uranus. 

shell, I have the same Mars and Venus as you and I've done the same -- totally cry all next day because of the hookup.  And it wasn't even because I intellectually, morally, or religiously think it's wrong!  I don't.  That's just how I feel afterwards.

Bella -  "it was more being under the influence and not knowing how to get out of the situation."  I can relate to this, at least having the experience where it seemed easier to do it than not do it.

Another thing I find interesting is that I've never ever had "sex with friends".  (that sounds so Mars with Pisces, alicia, thanks for sharing!) I HAVE friends, but I hardly ever sleep with them, because if I want to, I know it when I meet them.  If I sleep with them it pretty much turns into a relationship. (Libra much?)

jessica, what is 'hardly ever?' lol

ok haha, that was funny, i'll give you that!

"never".  nobody i ever slept with stayed just a "friend", for better or for worse.

Everyone, I feel so 'astro-ignorant' here but how do you know all these things about your sign (trines, squares, etc.) and how that relates to if you can have casual sex and not be so emotional about it? How do you make the connection from sign details to behaviors?

I only know my basics I suppose and things like my Mars being Aries doesn't fit does it? And darn it, Aquarius (as I was told in my natal chart) in Venus and my sexuality house. Shouldn't that make me so much cooler regarding casual hookups? I just wonder if my Cancer rising is to blame.

I know in my mind I've come up with what I would call a good situation - 'intimate friends' - not that friends aren't close to me but a specific kind. Not a girlfriend but not a night or two.

Can anyone explain or point me in the right direction to learn about trines, squares and all that?

hahahah the 'Walk of Shame'

I think I was 23?ish when I had it explained to me and I was like 'Yeah but I never sleep with anyone I'd be ashamed of soooooo why would it be a walk of shame?'

I like Shell's definition of Casual Sex.

I started out, and remained friends with a number of people I had sex with. I think part of it was I am/was very open about where I stood on things. If I was interested in more I said it and I didn't jump into bed. In fact I'd make myself wait (which I am terrible at) to 1) restrain my hormones and 2) make sure the person had a genuine interest in me. If I wasn't interested in more I clarified that before I got into bed too, usually at the front door and preferably before we got to the bedroom. "Uhm hey, don't take this personally and I really like you and I hope we stay friends after this because I think you are witty and intelligent because if I didn't I wouldn't sleep with you but I'm not really in a 'relationship' place right now . . and I know you're not going to believe this, but I'm not going to be jealous and crazy afterwards and we can be friends if you want to".  Guys have ideals and feelings too.

I think for casual sex you need to really be certain about your emotions and I don't think it's for everyone. I know some very highly sexed people who cannot manage it, and there's nothing wrong with that. Its the way you're built. One particular friend talking about it explained that she was completely miserable if she wasn't getting laid and completely miserable if she got laid and the guy got up and left - there's no solution for that. At least -I pointed out- if she didn't sleep with the guy she wasn't going to hate him afterward . . And another, a pisces guy, talked about how easy it was to get and how pointless it felt "I want to want to have breakfast in the morning".

People are the way they are.

e-there are loads of websites that describe the effects of aspects, if you google them (sorry, the only one that comes to mind immediately is astro.com). i've been studying astrology for quite a few years now and i'm still *just* starting to understand some things (like transits).

at astro.com, if you enter your data and go to the "free charts" they have an interactive chart called how you love, or something like that.

it seems to be very important to you that you get to the root of your non-preference for casual sex. perhaps one angle to look at this could be 'why am i the way i am" rather than "why am i the way i am not"

i'm going to start a new thread for your re: aspects.  

I am very pro casual sex.  On principle not in practice.  I have Venus quincunx Uranus, Sun opposition Uranus, Jupiter square Uranus.  I think it should be an option.  I normally cite reasons for this.  Basically that people are given the freedom to do this without societal strictures that have so long held down women especially.  Some long for the times when sex was taken seriously, as sacred.  I think the undertones for sex being "sacred" in Christianity come from Paul.  Basically that it is the next best alternative to celibacy.  Recreational sex can come with a lot of complex reasons.  It is freeing to be able to express oneself without the goal of procreating.  That women especially can choose who they have sex with without being tied down.  They say that attitudes toward casual sex will change in Pluto in Capricorn.  There better not be any outside strictures limiting it.  To me that will be a step backward.

Er . . ., I'm married to a Scorpio, and there ain't nuthin' casual about it! 

 (which is good, cuz casual sex would make my head explode.  Mars conjunct Sun in Pisces/8th house. )

Kasamiri, thanks a bunch. I'll look (or start) there at astro.com

I guess it's a lot of things...well I do know some of them...but the short answer is this phase of my life I feel like I 'need' to learn, experience, experiment sexually (at least for me - which means different women - oh redheads, blondies even brunettes with blue eyes -  - just always makes me melt).

I seek knowledge as well as fun darn it and I want to feel as if when that time is right for me - to be interested in another serious relationship - I want so many answers to questions I have today. I want to be a better intimate partner where I don't wonder, look elsewhere, not have a better understanding of who I am as a sexual person, etc.

So it's just this very deep push/pull. I very much not only want to be on the path I'm on but I feel I need to. Yet simultaneously I can't seem to not think about a few women I have been intimate with even when they are clearly not who I should think about. Quick examples - the young drunk who began this journey of mine last 4th of July and most recently (it didn't go that far) a woman in an open marriage who I never felt comfortable with (made me feel like women are something 'less then' compared to relationships with men) yet I let it go on too long.

And right now a young Capricorn ignoring me because of course she's busy at work but it's more then that. She rarely talks about her feelings and I seem to get less responses from her the more open I am to her in email. I'm thinking she's very Cappy since she's only 25 and is a successful financial planner. She's the most hard working young woman I've ever (sort of) met. I know we are mutually attracted but she is tough to figure out.

You know, writing this I do sound like my little world is all that matters. I don't mean to sound so self-centered. I just feel a bit stuck at the moment. So thanks again for the advice.

hahahah, Venus conjunct Pluto (within one degree, strong) in 9th house (ahem...) and Mars and Sun Leo 8th house....Very lusty, ahem. Of course it's not me!!!!

I've never quite been into causal sex, but I love sex.

I'd probably only get attached if I was in love with the guy, but I only have been in love once, & I never had sex with him.

Recently, the guy I've been dating (Aries) is more attached than I am especially since we added sex to the mix, and the sex is great! The only drawback is I'm smouldering. I always leave a man attached to me long after I'm gone, as though we switched roles or something. It used to be the woman that was more attached and the man who wasn't. But I guess things have changed. My friends always ask me, "What do you do to them?"

So, long story short, that's a reason I don't do casual sex like that.