To a client who wants me to do the chart of a new love,  for the new love.

"You know, my primary thing is to look out for you and while I won't write anything dishonest, I don't want to do work that could undermine your position. For example, I would not want to  make him feel he is being examined or poked somewhere sensitive.  I just wonder if you might be better off to not create a triangle, just to be on the safe side?  What if this guy is melting into your husband?  Should you wait and see?"

I just thought this was an interesting situation. She's a regular. I won't let you hire me unless I think it will be beneficial. I don't think she needs me involved in this.

Do you consider that their are times it might be best to set astrology aside?

Sometimes, yes. I don't think it's a good idea to use astrology to justify shitty behaviour, even if it explains it.

To borrow your analogy Elsa, I think looking at a new person's chart only shows you their cards, not how they're playing them. I have a hard time resisting looking at a new person's chart, but do work hard to remind myself that I'm just seeing the background, so to speak, I'm not yet seeing how the person is manifesting the chart. So I think it's good to set aside the information aside and let the evidence present itself.

I also try to avoid looking at kids' charts for very similar reasons. I try to treat kids' charts as a theoretical type things. Kids are too easy to influence with expectations.

Just more evidence of the integrity that you show in your work, Elsa.

Yes I do, and I have. I consider it a retreat into the world of feeling and a useful time to practice intuition.

Definitely; and I think that particular instance is one.

In the general sense, there are young women, members of these boards, whose reliance on astrology to make every tiny decision really bothers me, especially when it's a decision 'going forward'. I want to shake them sometimes, and exclaim "Just live your life - make your moves, make mistakes if necessary, but please just LIVE ... and gain experience, and then make sense of it"

wow, it never occurred to me to ask someone to look at another person's life...my own dealings, sure, due to limitations and blind spots, but I would never want someone to do that to me. gah.

FOR the new love is too high pressure and yes, I would put that aside. Privately is another thing. 

She meant to GIFT him.

I think looking at a new person's chart only shows you their cards, not how they're playing them.

This!

Ohhh hmm. I still think that is too much pressure. It's too... pushing or something, because I assume the guy is not into astrology.

To gift him? Hmmmm. Nope.

Maybe later on.

Gift him? No, not right now. She can always do it later. Suss it him out the usual way first, I say.

From my perpsective, this is honestly unimaginable. The men I date don't give a rat's ass about astrology, lol. At least not enough to have a whole half an hour long consultation.

He was interested...jeez, you guys are rough.

Oh, well if he's interested that's a different story. I just agree with your original point, Elsa. Caution is warranted. 

oh, as a gift...whoops.

Well only if he's into astrology and we share that interest already, but not about the relationship. And if he needed it and I knew he was looking for help, for insight.

But honestly, if I'm not confident yet, then the next date, please, and the next, until I know.

Well if he's interested, absolutely!

I set aside astrology all the time because it's not my forte. 

I meditate to get the scoop of what's going on.  Sometimes I read the Tarot, but I usually end up writing it out in a meditative fashion anyway. 

If he was interested, I'd say sure, why not? I don't think it's a big deal!

The reason it was called into question is the man is the man is in a sensitive phase, confiding in her and I thought it might be best to leave them in a vacuum.  She does not need an outsider... they're doing great on their own.

See, I have to write the truth and it's sensitive so...

I think Elsa's right in the sense it would set up lines, boundaries, expectations - all kinds of stuff might ensue which wasn't intended and might not be helpful. Whatever Elsa had said from her chart reading, might impact the relationship, too.

I wouldn't want to do it even if I could, with the relationship at a sensitive early stage. It might subtly influence the relationship in unforseen ways

PS  I thnk gifting someone a nice image of their chart, and then maybe discussing it with them, might be an alternative.... then if they show a very keen interest in taking it further you could gift a reading

PS  Elsa posted while I was writing

Thanks for explaining why caution was being evoked. Makes sense.

Ahhhh, okay. I completely understand now. Yeah, it could be to fragile at this point like you said, Elsa.

He's got 5 planets in Aquarius. I/We have since decided to go ahead with this. It's a quirky birthday gift, see?  But we did weigh it (Libra) carefully (Saturn).  I just don't want to do any harm. I would like to see this gal happily partnered and I like this guy...and like him for her. I will work in the morning though, when I'm alert!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Haha, this totally took a 180 in my mind. This is a great gift! Lol.

Good luck to our gal and her new guy! 

I'm on it, y'all...

"Most people know their sun sign. I'm sure you know that you're Aquarian but astrology is as complex as the people it serves.  You have to be more than your Sun sign, otherwise we would only have 12 kinds of people in the world and everyone knows this is not the case..."

He's going to get his own book. :)

Nice!!!

I'm excited for this person :)

I'm excited for this person, too!

I remember my first read. If you are open to it, then it's like a HUGE light bulb just blinked on when you read something that hits home...and then another...and so on.  

"...Based on this you can see there are 12 kinds of Aquarians.  I am talking about people with their Sun in Aquarius and their moon in one of the other 12 signs but this is just an introduction.  Everyone has Venus somewhere (shows your tastes / what appeals to you and how you attract).  You have a Mars sign which shows how you get what you want.  Venus sees something tasty. Mars hunts it. 

So now we're consideing 4 planets. The possible combinations increase exponentially and when we include the rest of the planets (which all astrologers do), there are even more combinations and it's begins to be apparent how astrology work..."

"Venus sees something tasty. Mars hunts it.  "

! I love this!

I'm done. I kept it very impersonal / intellectual and said it was deliberate. :)

When to fuck astrology:

1) When it makes you afraid, it's time to put it away. Astrology is a way to think about things that should be enriching and empowering. If you have a "big transit" or whatever coming up and you freak out over it, astrology isn't for you. Try knitting, I hear its anxiolytic. 

2) When it's a parlour trick. fuck. that. People want me to look at someone's chart and then, i dunno, impress them with ego affirming descriptions but I'm not allowed to ask any questions because that would be "cheating." That's not what astrology is. Don't ask me to do that.

Thrilling!!!!!

I made the mistake of looking to astrology to understand the issues I had with my partners recent and sudden behaviour. What I ended up doing was (like Jennifer mentioned) justifying his poor actions.

Having Uranus in 7th, a 3-planet gemini in 12th, and an Aries in 11th... I got too caught up in it. These things shouldn't excuse his bad behaviour. I ended up wanted to adjust things so I could accomodate HIM, when I was the one being hurt. Eck. Being overly understanding has its downfalls.