How do you feel about cheating?

What is your experience with cheating?

How do you view sex and love?

I feel that cheating is commonplace but that most people are deeply wounded by it.

I found out my ex cheated on me with a friend, after I left him. He was a raging alcoholic and was so drunk he didn't remember. I'd already dumped him because he was a pisshead, so all it did was strengthen my case we shouldn't get back together.

I've had a wonderful time with lovers I wasn't 'in love with.' But I have been in a committed relationship for 7 years now and am very happily committed.

I have never cheated on anyone in my life.

I'm having such a hard time dealing with my fiance's view on cheating. Just talking about it tears me apart.

are you ok sinamarazul? do you feel like talking about it here? if not, i understand. i can promise you'd get a lot of different opinions about it, though maybe that's not what you need.i wish i could help.:(

Actually, kashmiri, I really would appreciate it if someone listened.

The thing is that my fiance was telling me that even if I cheated on her that she would forgive me. I said I would do the same, but I cannot deal with cheating.

The other day I was at her job and I was just sitting outside her office and I called her and they told me she had just stepped out. I looked for her and found her walking with her coworker to the library. I followed them and as I followed them I saw her like smack the other girl in the arm and then the girl leaned over a little. THAT GOT ME SO MAD.

Am I overreacting? Am I just too jealous? I think this girl wants to be with her. She also denies flirting, but I feel like she does flirt.

Can you talk about it with her? Maybe you have already? Open up the communication--

I have already she tells me that I have nothing to worry about and that she isn't flirting. They were just talking.

I guess I don't like the fact that she likes her so much as a friend. WTF it makes me so mad.

I'm curious...how long have they been working together? Is there a way to talk through it with her? Or do you think maybe this is something you need to figure out on your own? Does your gut usually work for you or do you feel unnerved by all of it? 

It's hard to say if you are overreacting...I just couldn't say. We are all very different that's for sure. Does your fiance think you are overreacting? Would she say so if she thought you were? 

Sorry about the 20 zillion questions in response to your question! 

We've already talked about it, but when I see her ( between work and school we only see each other like once every two days and for a few minutes ) this weekend for a longer period of time I think I'm gonna bring it up face to face. She thinks I have nothing to be scared off and that I shouldn't get that way.

My gut is telling me that they are really close friends. I think they get along, the shit that bothers me is that ( sorry for the cursing, I just need to vent so bad) is that this girl is such a flirt. She even told her that she was bisexual and everything. I think shes working her up. 

Does Venus in Libra cheat/flirt a lot?

Not sure about Libra, maybe a Libra can weigh in on that. Ugh. Another pun. Anyway...it sounds like you guys aren't getting to see each other enough.

Is venus in libra your fiance or the friend?

Rightly or wrongly, I am assuming your relationship has a secure foundation if you are getting married--

What is this jealousy about? Her or you?

It is very secure. I just have jealousy problems, I'm just not sure if I'm right or wrong about this one.

Venus in Libra is my fiance. The jealousy is me being jealous of that girl and how she flirts with my fiance.

Thank you guys for listening and trying to help me out, I really appreciate it. I would get a reading from Elsa, but I'm a poor college student and I can't afford it.

Kashmiri, we don't. This semester is super hectic for the both of us.

I don't know but it SOUNDS like it's the combination of the conversation and the exchange you witnessed.  If one would not have happened the other would not have been so bad.

 We don't know if her remark re: cheating was because she loves you so much she'd forgive you or is she has a different standard than you and this is what has you unnerved.

Elsa, you are so right. The conversation then I witnessed that. My pride does NOT stand for that. I felt like I was being taken for a fool, not only that, with someone whom we both work with. I don't know why it was so hard for me to see that. I felt like my blood pressure rose and fell simultaneously.

She told me that it's because she doesn't want to lose me, but I believe it's both things.

Venus in Libra "weighing in"....  I'll kill two birds with one stone and also answer your other question here about flirting.  Obviously, there are other things in a person's chart that might explain whether they're flirts and/or cheaters.  But I for one, will only flirt with someone I DON'T have feelings for.  If I'm seriously attracted to someone, I'm usually too shy to even look them in the face!  (Or, if I know they like me and I don't like them, I might be kind -- to not hurt their feelings -- but I will not lead them on.  I know where to stop.)

As for cheating, I have never cheated.  I feel that if you're that tempted to get involved with someone else, you need to end the relationship you're in.  It's only fair (Libra).

 Libras like to communicate, they like things balanced... they don't like drama (my hubby is a Libra). Do talk to her again, lay it all out there -- without accusations and ugly scenes.  If she's innocent, she won't like being accused of something that didn't happen.  I feel that if you love each other, you can find a solution to this. 

Young libras flirt... I don't know about old ones. I'm a Libra. I try to really stay in tune with the undercurrent of certain social interactions. I enjoy men... they make me laugh. But if I look at you and see that my laughing with your man (woman in your case) is making you uncomfortable then I am damn well going to back off, or I am going to find a way to silently let you know that I respect you/your relationship and would never tread on another woman's territory.

I actually feel REALLY strongly about this because I don't like it when MY man flirts with other women either.

Libras are so flitty anyway. If you just trust your girlfriend, try not to focus on the negative, and just be your delightful self, I'm sure this Libra beeatch will just flit on by and away.

Whatever you do though, DON'T stalk her! This kind of behavior will drive your woman right into someone else's arms. Seriously. Just be cool.

PS: Oops, my bad. I thought you were saying that a Libra was flirting with your Libra-in-Venus fiance. For some reason I had it in my head that the person she was carrying on with was a Libra.

So forget the first part of what I said!

Such a touchy topic.

Trust and communication are the keywords here. I can feel the insecurity it brings up to see someone flirt with your fiance. It's natural. After fully expressing what's going on for you your partner will hopefully consider your experience and the two of you can work out what to do the next time that other person decides to engage in flirtation. You deserve to be heard and respected. This is a great opportunity for your partner to show you how much you matter by refraining from any more of that behavior and by investigating why it went on in the first place. 

Cheating is by definition a violation of the container of the intimate relationship. That which is unresolved or unfulfilled has not been addressed in the relationship and so gets played out somewhere else. Speaking stereotypically, a guy is closed off to his feeling function and acts out, hurting a wife or girlfriend. Ironically, the guy is no happier for cheating; he's still cut off from himself, and now he's worse off because he has poisoned the relationship that had previously contained his psyche. His best chance to connect with his feeling function, through the love of the woman he is in relationship with, has been severed. It's a real disaster. Sorry if some of this sounds a little confusing or is hard to understand; I use Jungian terminology and alchemical language because it works for me. 

Of coarse, some people separate their sexuality from the rest of their relationship and can enjoy an open sexuality involving other partners, but I don't really believe this is possible and think it's a cop-out from true intimacy, but I could be wrong. 

Hope things go well. 

EXTREMELY anti-cheating. I lived most of my childhood having known (intuitively) that my father was cheating on my mother with multiple women. I had no evidence... I just knew and later confirmed I was correct 10 years later (I was 16) but did not reveal that I was carrying this burden until recently (I am now 29).

I never give anyone the chance to cheat on me. if he does, fcuk him. i dont have much patience for men; especially ridiculous ones.

I have a zero tolerance on cheating. But then again, like Cappychica said, I don't give anyone a chance to cheat on me!

-Venus in Scorpio in the 8th house-

I am a girl with a Venus in Libra, and I am a flirt but not a cheat. I am working on being less of a flirt lately, but it seems to be the way I interact with people, especially other women. I have never cheated and dont think I ever will, but it's hard to get me to commit to a relationship. I think you could take a Libra Venus at their word if they say they're in a committed relationship with you, that's what they're in. Hope that helps!

*writes her name in the "never cheated on anyone in my life" column*

I've been cheated on, though.

I don't know it seems almost socially acceptable to cheat these days. I mean...not acceptable - just like it happens with increasing frequency, regardless of how it's viewed.  So many people do it, it astounds me.

Don't know if there's any way to avoid being cheated on, but it seems like relationships aren't sacred these days like they once were.

" but it seems like relationships aren't sacred these days like they once were."

They are to some of us!!

Well, they are to me, too! But if someone's gonna sneak around behind your back, you're not gonna know it unitl you know, it ya know? Even people that have SWORN they will never cheat have cheated, I've seen it! :D

luci:

I know what you mean. I spoke with one of my best friends about this. I was telling her how vehemently against cheating I was, but she shrugged her shoulders and just said, "Well, it's just people's 'thing.' Some people like the thrill of it." Seriously, it's a "sexual thrill?" I told her that if that's the case for one person, they sure as hell better tell their partner about it. But of course, that's part of the "sexual thrill" right? Not knowing?

Yeah I find cheating to be very much acceptable nowadays, and it's really sad. I really hold my relationships in high regard. I'm either in or out. Nothing in between. 

I've heard a lot of Pisces types talk about how they couldn't help but end up in this compromising, cheating situations. I am sure that there's a cheater for every single sign of the zodiac, but I just never understood how some make it sound as if there was no choice in the matter. Even if it's for a split second, I believe that people have a chance to decide whether or not to cheat!

The flip side of this question is for those who seek out those cheaters - those people who enjoy being the other woman or the other man. I've heard it's a ego boost and never understood it. I actually want to hurl & get depressed about the human race when married or otherwise involved men hit on me. Just don't do it! 

Not -this- Pisces type. Ugh, the mere idea makes me livid.