So I am well into the process of going through a divorce with my husband of 5 years, but been a in relationship a total of 9. We have split up before, but only briefly. This time, it's for real. While I am almost content that we've decided to split, I miss him. For the past few weeks, I've been in this internal emotional back-and-forth fight with my feelings for him. We've been civil by talking on the phone and keeping each other posted on our lives, but I always have this urge to ask him if maybe we should just take sometime apart to really think it through. He has stopped telling me that loves me, which I know is a given in this situation, but just not hearing that hurts me, deeply.

I did'nt think it would affect me this deeply because I am so used to being resilient and quick to move on. But this time, it feels different. I dare not to tell him how I feel, because I don't want to pacify his ego. But inside, I want him back in my life. I want him with me, and I want him to know how much I want him to be the one for me, because it's what I feel in my heart. But I feel like it's too little, too late.

I'm a Taurus (April 21, 1980) and he's a Saggitarius (December 9, 1979). I don't know if the current astro-trends have some something to do with this.

Can someone please shed some light on this? Please let me know. Thank you! XOXO

I honestly don't know whether to say fight for it or walk, because from what you wrote about him before... he was making you miserable.  I personally believe that anything and everything in a relationship is fixable, if both partners are willing to put in the effort and work on it (Mars-Venus-Pluto in Libra trine Neptune and a Cap dsc talking), but if you're the only one willing to do the work, it's just going to fail again.  Do you think he'd be willing to change and compromise?  Are you?

Very heavy stuff, sweetheart...  Think long and hard about it.  You might not want to try a romantic relationship again, but you two may be able to salvage a deep friendship out of this.  Whatever you decide to do, it's going to be tough.  You need to remember to take time for you and only do what's in your best interests.  Good luck and keep us posted.  (((citygirl)))

Sorry you are having such a hard time - I don't think anyone would say it is easy to go through a divorce.  

I can't help much with the astrology, but I have two Taurus sisters, and they hang on and on and on to stuff (and people) that they should just let go of.  But once they let go, boy, are they done.

And I get it, I have Mars in Taurus, and I can so do this too.  I don't have any answers, but I do hope you can work this out, and feel at peace with whatever decision you make.  

Didn't have a reply for you this morning.. but then hear this song on the radio and thought of you Citygirl1980..

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2kEx5BLoC4&feature=related

*hugs*

powerful karmic relationships tend to pull us. i dont know if its this, or if its just you not able to let go for security reasons. 

for my experience, i wanted to be friends with my ex, but I had to cut all communication and ties until i had gone through enough time to carve a path for myself and stand independently. then I could see the relationship objectively. now i can be friends with my ex, but its still in chunks, and I always need to be aware of my feelings and stay in "control", so to speak. 

You might just want to give yourself some time apart.  and concentrate on your own inner healing and goals, apart from him or any other personal relationship. JMHO Its is a very difficult, complex situation. hang in there, prayers to you. 

I kind of got stuck on this part:

"how much I want him to be the one for me."

I notice that you didn't say "I want him to know how much he is the one for me"

Taking some time apart to think it through sounds like a reasonable option - did he cheat? Is he abusive or addicted to something? Have you two been to marriage counseling?

I'm not minimizing your problems, believe me. There are marriage workshops, one in particular that I've been to is called "Getting the Love You Want." A little bit of counseling and getting a feel for whether your husband would be open to attending one of those might be a good step. Not that it is an instant fix, but it might be a litmus test. In that, if he's not willing to do either of those things, then that should tell you that there is nothing more you can do.

Anyway, just a few ideas. They may or may not work for your situation. I wish you the best of luck, I know how difficult it can be.

Another thought for you as concerns Taurus/Sag.  There is something very exciting about a Sag for you to help break you out of your fixed habits. And maybe you feel lacking in some way because you cant quite keep up. And this is a mirage.

Its okay that you are different than he. Believe me, you can and will find an "other" who is more complimentary to your essence.   You may still be the best of friends with him, the Sag and that will be great cause it will have its limits and purpose defined.  But YOU will have much more strength in accepting, knowing, and living your Taurus.

My ex is a Sag and I am Virgo.  Something similar in earth/fire, but with me, we at least had the mutable in common.  But, the Sag in him tore me down.  It took a long time ( but not too long, just less than a year) for me to recognize and understand this and move on to a better place for me.