I was just thinking about talking about my problems with others and how the most valuable advice comes from someone who understands how YOU work and talks to you from that perspective, advice suited to YOUR paradigm.  I've found I need to stop discussing my problems with those who think I either am or should be like them and give advice based on what does/would suit them.

which perspective do you think you come from when giving advice?  where is your mars/mercury/saturn connection?

(I have scorpio mars in the third, inconjunct aries saturn in the 8th, and I wonder if I don't forget to follow my own stated perspective sometimes, though I try) (pisces mercury in the 7th)

Mars/Mercury conjunct in Libra. Clashes with my Scorpio side which wants to tell the unabashed truth. Bit like an iron fist in a velvet glove sometimes! However, recently I have found that if I can use my discriminating qualities, I can provide lots of different scenarios but also keep my integrity as far as my own personal values are concerned. A bit like walking somebody else's path but with your own shoes on!

The only way I know how to think is from my own perspective; I mean, in general, you're most comfortable with what you know and so you use your own thoughts and experiences in any given situation. 

When I need advice, I want people to tell me what THEY think and how THEY'D handle situations, so that I can consider points of view I hadn't before.

I don't feel I have all the information to act upon unless I've considered perspectives I never would have thought of.

So, to more specifically answer the question - I don't mind it when people give me advice based upon what might suit them. It gives me something to chew on and then come to conclusions I might not have.

If I'm not like them and their advice seems off base to me, I'll say "Thanks".  If it's something that makes a light bulb go off overy my head, I'll say, "I've never considered that. Hrm. Maybe I'll..."

You don't have to TAKE advice if it doesn't resonate with you.  That's why it's advice and not an order. :D

Mars in Aries (8th), Mercury in Aquarius (in aspect to Uranus, 7th).  Saturn in Libra.  

Typically I offer both sides for the purpose of perspective.  For example I told a client how I would definitely leave my marriage in her circumstance but I did not think she necessarily would or should because she was strung differently from me and at a deep level.  She's just not me and I would have left "me" out of it but thought in the circumstances it would expand and buoy her (Jupiter) to note the diversity of people.

My hope was that seeing another woman at the other end of the continuum would show her this exists... this whole range of choices and ultimately she could land anywhere on the line and be happy about it because she'd checked out all options.

I don't always do this by the way. I get the facts via astrology and then rely on instinct around how to proceed.

Good question Satori.....there are so many good questions that come up on this board....things that I just do by rote....auto-pilot and these questions get me to thinking it thru.  I know that I am by nature not an advice seeker....I usually "know" myself and have a good instinct for what I believe to be right for me.  I have found that the times where I have asked for advice as I have done here a couple of times...it is more of a "getting it out of my own head" for a minute because I tend to tie myself up at times and just need help unraveling my mind on an issue.

But, on the other hand, I get asked quite often for advice and I try to give it to them in a way that is pretty clear and no-nonsense.  Their decision as to whether they should do that is ultimately up to them, of course.  I tell them what I would do in a given situation.

Merc-Sat in Capricorn - 5th house opposing mars in cancer-11th house

I was told by a friend of mine that I was a "comfort blanket" - someone that friends easily go to when they are in need of advice, moral support or any kind of emotional comforting when they are in a difficult time. I pride myself for this. I don't normally dish out advice unless asked for. And even when advice is needed, I give them as many perspectives possible as I am the type of person who can see different connections to one particular situation and many possible solutions. I do not steer people to a specific direction as I bear in mind how they work and I really leave it up to them to decide where to go. 

I have Mars in Leo 5th house conj. Jupiter in Virgo. Both trining Neptune. Saturn is in my 6th house, in Virgo trined by Venus, sextiled by the Moon and squared by Neptune.  

I rarely give unsolicited advice unless someone is coming down hard on themselves...the kind of self-defeating I-am-a-loser kind of self-abuse. Then I can't help myself, I feel compelled to say something. Even then I try to frame it as a suggestion rather than "You gotta do this this and this."

I totally get your feeling of stopping talking to people who give advice based on themselves...I mean I have a friend going through a life situation right now, she asked me for advice and I flat out can't give it to her. I don't have her life, or her needs, or her desires and so I think "I'd handle it like this" but to say so would be unfair, because what the hell do I know, really. So I come from the angle of promoting her strengths and (very very gently) showing her where she may be 'snagging' herself.

I have Mars/4th trine Saturn/8th (Fire)

Mercury in 5th Square Saturn in 8th. I think the 5th/8th square fuels my sensitivity to other people's self-abuse. The same houses have my Sun/Saturn square. 

I like seeing the differences here and reading the why's.  I was actually thinking of Elsa as the good example for advice giving and a few others I know irl as the poor examples.  with the others I have to consciously edit what I tell them about my life so as not to activate their judgemental/controllyness.  ;)

reading here I can see something I missed in my thought process:  it's not necessarily where you're coming from in giving advice that merits caution but how well you accept boundaries with other people.

ah, yes, as usual I'm running into boundary issues with others.  I appreciate the help in fleshing out my thoughts.

the upshot:  stay away from interfering. sabotaging bitches! 

I don't offer unsolicited advice.  When someone does ask me for advice, I feel it out: poke, prod, probe, get the smallest details and listen to them vent for as long as it takes.  Then I let them know what I would do in their situation (my instincts) and why I think it is or is not appropriate for them.  Then listen to whatever feedback (for lack of a better word) they have.  And always, always, always make sure they understand that whatever comes out of my mouth is just my take on it and I've been known to be horribly wrong.

When I ask for advice, I want basically the same treatment.  I want to splay out all of the snags and grit and bugs I found under the rocks and see how the other person would handle it.  Unfortunately, with few exceptions, I usually get a "Whatever you think is right, Sa," and a pat on the head, then when the fallout of whatever course of action I took comes about there's the, "Well, I always thought a, b, c."  *growl*

Sun-Merc-Saturn conjunction semi-square (I think? It's the left-handed acute angle thingy.) my Libran Mars-Venus-Pluto conjunction.

Made me think about how I take advice and I am horribly discourteous and judgemental about it. The last thing I would ever accept at the time is that whoever is offering it is coming from a good place and is actually putting themselves out there for me. Horror of horrors they actually care!!!!

Some food for thought!

Just a thought about this too...

Do you notice that at times men and women have different ways of dealing with dishing out advice? I have a lot of male friends and when people come to them to talk about problems, they assume immediately that these people are always looking to get advice. Whereas with most of my female friends (including myself), we offer more emotional support and THEN advice, when warranted.

I do know that in both genders, the advising styles are different. Anyway, correct me if I'm wrong, but that's the observation I have from my experience. 

I think reaction to hearing problems is yin/yang related...  on both sides.

yin people want to dish (seeking release, validation), yang want to problem solve (action/results oriented).  and they probably expect the other to react the way they would react.  but I generalize... no one is all yin or yang. 

Goodness, in reading all the posts, I noticed that so many give options in giving advice..I normally am pretty open also on the advice front and if a situation that I am being asked about is a life-altering one, well, I do try to keep the other party talking it out so they can sort it out on their own. 

 I sounded a tad harsh and guillotine-like on my first comment and that comes from a. being a capricorn, b. being a capricorn and c. having the same person ask me for the same advice for basically the same situation....just different people involved and I get very annoyed and have little patience.  

I think I may be more yang....action-oriented also. There are so many areas of advice ....you go on the content that you are given...and it depends on the person asking the advice also...are they normally a steady freddy and they've hit a bump or are these the knuckleheads that repeatedly do dumb things and giving them options is useless...?

I don't give advice.  I offer options and what I see as the potential consequences of taking each one.  I figure people need to make their own decisions.  I offer information and insight to support that process.

I've got a Saturn/Sun/Asc/Mercury thing with the first three in 1H Gemini and the Mercury at late degrees of 12H Taurus mostly opposite a moon/neptune conjunct in 7H Sag

Mars conjunct Venus in 2H cancer, opposite Jupiter in Cap in the 8th.  They all square my 5H Uranus in Libra and sort of wave at my 5H Pluto in Virgo (29 deg) sitting on the border there.

I'm very balanced

I can't see clearly straight-off how I give advice (Scorpio Neptune in 12th=fuzzy self perception at times).  So, I went in mind's eye to where I get advice.

Dad - Pisces sun - talks facts & options, gives what his option would be, releases his hold on problem.  Will ask later, 'What did you finally do about X?' with no judgement stated afterwards of what he thinks of my option.

Mom - Gemini sun - talks facts, feelings, options and gives judgement on what she would think of people who would take certain positions.  Hangs on to the problem.    Asks later about it and then pontificates if I chose differently than she would have.

Husband - Virgo sun - talks facts as in a straight trajectory laundry list of options and gives reasons for dismissing 8 of the 10 solutions.  Could care less if I choose his way or not (see why a power driven Scorpio would marry a Virgo???).  Claims (this has got to be a lie as his mind is a pretty decent steel trap) not to remember later ever having given me his thoughts.  Thus leaving me to think whatever I've chosen was my idea to begin with (you've GOT to love a man like this!).

I do not seek advice often as I think I'm a fairly decent strategist.  But when I do, I generally leave Mom out, unless I just have the feeling she needs to be wanted badly at the moment as a parental unit advisor by letting her have her day in the sun, i.e. she's been feeling neglected & has been whiny about it.  Therefore, Dad is el numero one I usually turn to for advice and Husband comes a close second.  Also it is situational, as she's a pretty decent political strategist and when it comes to office politics I'd go straight to her.

I try to emulate my Dad in giving advice.  I think I fail at this alot and end up pontificating after the taking/rejecting of the advice to my kids, much like my Mom does.  Ugh.  I see myself doing it, not knowing how to stop sometimes.  I don't feel like I do that with outsiders, just immediate family - with outsiders I feel much more disconnected to their problems, so can ask their feelings about it and then give my take on the situation and then step out.  I might ask later, but remain disconnected from the situation and it's fairly easy to keep my judgement on their action button-upped and to myself!

I think I am all yin lol and will give advice if asked

In terms of asking for it, I need to be careful for the reasons satori mentions. Some folks get all controlly and forget who I am and what I'm up against. And I always need release and validation, always. Then, I can problem solve.

I have a good friend, virgo moon. If I want advice, I can ask her but oh man she gives tooooooo much information - it floods me.

i'll give ideas.  or share my perspective.  or mention things i've heard have worked for somebody.  and try to clarify how/why/what and where their reality might be different.

if they seem to be looking for advice.  or feedback.  or perspective.

it's ahrd to say.  sometimes all people really want/need is to be heard.  and i tend to feel a bit useless is helping with that.  besides trying to reflect their experience back to them.

but i don't feel that good at that.  too much blundering.  not enough deftness.

I don't normally give advice, only opinions. But if somebody would ask for one, I will tell him/her exactly how I would go about it in full gory and sorry details. Afterwhich, that person usually takes his own formulated course of action, and therafter succeeds in trying to come up with the most appropriate outcome. I guess, nobody wants to "kill" somebody my way, so they end up taking their own way and that to me is the best outcome ever because the individual ends up being confident enough to come up with his own, act on it and follow through.

Sometimes, it pays to be a bad example.