I have the black moon conjunct my moon, in Leo. So this means I have repressed sexual needs that are repressed consciously or subconsciously by my mom. And this is spot on.

This was my mother and I in her car a year ago, when she asked if I was sexually active with my boyfriend of 6 months at the time. 

"Uhhh, yes. Can I go on birth control?"

her, "I don't want you having sex." 

and then I slink down in my car seat like a scolded 8-year-old. 

I realize that financial independence is what will solve this for the most part, (Last year in college)  but how did you guys deal with your parent(s) when the time came? Or was it a non-issue? 

And, the irony? She had my bother, an illegitimate child, at 20 years old. 

hmm. for me it was a non-issue. my mom started pushing birth control on me at 15, and I didn't even need it yet! I say use condoms or go to planned parenthood, they'll hook you up. I like a nice "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it comes to the boundaries of sexuality and family information.

I refused to share any info...I moved overseas and then had a hay-day. Er, hay half a decade?;)

Things were awful..but they got better. They got a lot better when she (my mum) woke up at 63 years old and decided she was not going to die without having an orgasm. (with my mum it is always TMI; i'm totally used to it)

hrae - did you spell it "bother" on purpose? :)

How does one find out one's "black moon lilith" anyway?

dina, if you register with astro.com you can choose what additional planets you want mapped on your natal chart before you view it.

I moved out of home & to Canberra (quite desperate, that one!). My Mum is quite conservative. I have Lilith in Aries in the 1st house, but with Uranus in the 7th opposite my Sun, that urge for independence in relationships is quite a natural thing for me. Lilith is really fascinating when you start to look into it. I heard a lecture once by Antonia Langsdorf who used the Meredith Brooks song "Bitch" to illustrate (quite appropriately) Lilith & all her different guises.

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who wrote to this!

Kash- that is awesome. One that she would tell you that, and two that you would tell me that, lol!!!

dina- hahaha no, it's not like that, but... good catch!!!

jotracey-You are so right, I'll have to look into Lillith more, but that's really funny that she used meredith brooks!

Can anyone suggest a good book or site on BML?  I have no eff-ing clue about her, but when I looked to see, I have Lilith rising.

it was kind of a don't ask, don't tell situation in my house. I think my parents assumed I was, but didn't want to know for sure.  Trusted me to responsible about it I guess.  Once I determined that I was going to have sex, I immediately went to the public health clinic,

tom jacobs is awesome:

http://tdjacobs.com/blog/

there is a Lilith tag. He really knows his stuff!

he also has a website. i hadn't actually visited for a while and the site looks different. he is knowledgeable. 

I have it conjunct Mercury in the 10th. 

That explains a lot. 

Dang, your chart really does just play you like a fiddle, doesn't it? 

Lilith in the 7th, I'm afraid I'm attracted to girls who are repulsive, dark, and maybe even evil.

Is this true? Uh...

My BML is in the 4th, conjunct sun.

When I was about 5-6 years old, ne and my slightly younger sis had asked where babies come from, and my mom told us. We were in the car driving somewhere (school, daycare, something like that). I remember sis and I made fun of the anatomical names for the parts that went together, but it was no big deal.

After that, nothing. Whatsoever. Beyond the mechanics of sex, everything I learned about it, I learned from others. My mom and I have a complicated relationship. I've spent most of my life emphasizing how much I'm not like her, and how much I don't want to be like her. It's almost been an obsession.

I'm 47 now, and mom and I have actually achieved a lot of healing in our relationship over the past couple of years. But it hasn't been easy.

I have a black moon lilith on the ascendant. Other than that it doesn't conjunct anything personal in my chart.

 How I dealt with my parents- well, I wanted to go see the guy I've been dating for five years, but my mother was very much against it. Talking about this was like pulling teeth, but finally I explained things and she had sympathy and was fairly convinced I knew what I was doing.

 Hrae, you said your mother had your brother at a young age. Maybe that's why she's so concerned. I don't envy you the task of explaining what you're doing to your mom, but if you absolutely have to, I think looking up information about protection, and making sure she knows that you're fairly responsible might be useful. Then again, she may not be prepared to hear even that. If she still tends to explode when you mention the subject, it may be best to keep quiet about it and wait til you're financially independant.

I have it in Cancer, same sign as my Mercury - I have no idea what that means, guess I will look it up.  Have people found that it is really all that significant?

I had once read exactly what hrae wrote in her first comment about Black Lilith in Leo and being repressed by one's mother.  In her case, magnified by moon conjunct.  I recall  Black Lilith in Leo tends to make one exude sexuality from early age and this is startling or uncomfortable for the mother.   As a Pisces with a Venus ruled chart....well, this was was true & there was tension early on including a backlash of guilt and fear when I acted on my sexuality.   Reading about  Black Lilith opened doors to begin healing unhealthy patterns for me...especially in accepting in myself what others might not.

" So this means I have repressed sexual needs that are repressed consciously or subconsciously by my mom."

Not sure where this comes from  but I can tell you that it smacks (very closely) of a theory put forth by a psychologist in the 60's who successfully promoted his idea that schizophrenia was caused by the mother's conscious or unconscious blah, blah, blah. 

He was charismatic and able to get the masses to adopt his theory which of course came right out of his ass.

Someone else had to come along with a serious (large) study the proved the genetic link and even when presented with hard core evidence otherwise, this large community of followers  clung to the charismatic leaders ideas.

To this day people who were exposed to this / studied psych at the time (people in their later 50's, early 60's) sometimes spout stuff like this... blame the mother for schizophrenia due her un-lived life and it sounds like you have been exposed to one of them...

It does not sound like "astrology" as I know but someone's skewed interpretation. In other words, for every "repressed mother" you could find an "overt mother" and the theory just goes all to hell.

 Sorry!

Um... some of these people got their ideas by eating acid so just keep that in mind. :-)

hey Elsa,

I'm just going by what I read about Black Moon Lilith from astrology websites. There are a ton of reasons those websites can be faulty, and that the "astrologers" posting that information is not validated or supported by the larger astrological community. 

I read a few interpretations and it seemed to make sense. However, as I respect your opinion, astrology or not, I would be more than happy to post a wide array of opinions of what people think Black Moon Lilith might mean.

I DO see the fallacy though, and the issue with self-diagnosis and being gullible. Edit: and I guess maybe cookbook astrology too? 

hrae - I just recognize that mindset and am aware of it's lineage... which probably goes back even further. In other words the schizophrenia guy probably adapted something of someone elses.

It got my attention because to look at anyone's chart and think you can determine their mother's reality seems faulty to me. At best, you can talk about how the person experienced their mother but I have found that to be unreliable as well so have personally abandoned it.

"You feel this way about your mother..."

"No I don't."

A person is only going to go through that so many times before they start to re-think.

Ditto ...hrae.  I just checked to see if I could find the link to what I read and found it...seems to be a dutch astrologer? http://www.astrotherapy.eu/BlackMoon.htm

I latched on to that little blurb just because it seemed to fit. Really don't know diddley squat about Black moon lilith. . . .    

And you're right, Elsa.  Can't blame mothers for all our woes.  Probably a lot of sexual guilt is innate (?) or religious based?  Or just is...or isn't...depending on the individual.   Maybe my 6th house sun/moon drives some of this.   

This is an good article on the Liliths, because there are more than one, I am always having to get it clear in my head which is which although they all apply to the same theme.

http://www.astrologysoftware.com/resources/articles/getarticle.asp?ID=168&orig

This link is also at the end of the article link posted above.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/3Liliths/

Daemoness, thanks for links. Got reading to do!

Black Moon Lilith Conjunct Moon

Lilith | Moon-aspect points out a very emotional childhood. A tremendous fight with the mother is lost by Lilith | Moon. As a child Lilith | Moon completely identifies with the mother and want to help her in any way. The mother on the opposite is constantly criticizing and doesn't respect Lilith | Moon's emotions. This is too hard  too handle for Lilith | Moon.  Due to this Lilith | Moon leaves [the body or the family - that depends on the age]. Lilith | Moon is not able to express the own  emotions and a lot of emotional confusion become a tremendous problem. Lilith | Moon's free will is completely sabotaged. Lilith | Moon does forgive the mother time after time, while the mother continuously dominates and even abuse the child physicaly. Finally the child will end all alone and close emotionally. A "closed" Lilith | Moon is constantly drawn into situations where others release their negative emotions towards them. On a subconsious level Lilith | Moon wants to help and give a healing. This quality is admissible once Lilith is "re-opened" and is able to make a distinction between their own feelings and other's. A "re-opened" Lilith | Moon can distinguish the negative emotions and stay away from those "too hard too handle".An "open" Lilith | Moon makes conscious desicions now and offers only emotionalassistance to the "positives" in Need.  

http://www.astrotherapy.eu/BlackMoon.htm

I'd like to say that, in the past 4 months, I've become a lot closer with my mom, with a bunch of things- and I'm also a lot better at not victimizing myself...which, re-reading this post, is what I seem to be doing!

Neptune retrograde, anyone? har.

Hrae, that link is fabulous!  Enjoying the Chiron section from them, too.  Thanks!

I have Lilith conjunct Chiron and Chiron conjunct Sun.  I am EVIL apparently.  Maybe this constitutes part of my fear of my moral depravity, I am repulsive and also have Moon/Mercury trine Pluto I think about it all the time. 

I have BML in my 8th house, and I don't know quite how to interpret it. I read an article once about this being a position where I am highly aware of power, mine and other peoples, and how it's used.

Aspects: Mars square Lilith, Jupiter sextile Lilith, Neptune conjunct Lilith, and Pluto sextile Lilith. 

*waves at Dina*

yeah I got that one too.  I experience it slightly differently though, in that I generally think I'm not that bad of person, but I definitely don't fit into anybody's mold of bright and happy or their ideas of how one is supposed to think/act.  I don't think I'm evil, but definitely repulsive sometimes.  Sounds like we've got lots to work on, both past lives and this one.  Sheesh.

Gemini sun, conjunct Chiron, conjunct Lilith (in the 11th), opposing uranus & square jupiter

12th house moon/merc & venus in Cancer

I'm made to experience and record the darker sides of life.  And then hopefully, once recognized & experienced, be able to change them for the good, though to what degree seems to be a crapshoot.

I was browsing the net trying to find info about my own personal Lilith/Asc situation, when I came across this post.

Well, besides having the Pluto/Sun opposition (North node and Pluto in the 4th, Libra; Saturn - Sun's dispositor in Leo), Venus/Chiron conjunction in Taurus in the 11th, I also have the Moon ruling my chart from the Vernal point 0 Aries in the 10th, and Mars 28 Cancer conjunct the 2nd house cusp.

All that said, I must say I feel Lilith more than all the others combined! Last summer when she was transiting my Moon, South node, Sun, Mercury, and 10th house - I got, as some of you know, fired from my brand new (first real in my life) job, and ended up in a hospital with the diagnosis "brain tumor" which turned into Paget's disease in the end.

What hrae wrote about her mom is, in my opinion, very true, but wasn't actually explain right. Yes, your mom supresses your sexuality. Why? My guess because she had your bother (hehe) at that age, and she (Leo) felt as having to be both father and mother which wounded her, and she inflicted that wound to you. Regardless what Elsa said, this is both very astrological and psychological, she unconsciously tried to help you not make her mistake by denying you to have sex.

My mom, who is Sag and has "boiling blood" like I do, something she feels brought her great misery in life, especially the career (now where do you think her Lilith might be, then?? hehe) and she now thinks this very fact (my boiling blood) is preventing me from moving up in life career-wise. Why? Because of my "bad communication and way with people" (her Lilith - 27 Aries, my Mercury - 24 Aries!). That kept her going for 30 years, and now, when I proved her wrong in more than one way, her world got shattered like glass, and she now feels like sleeping and watching TV, sometimes get out of the house, but rarely, usually only work-related, and she feels completely powerless about life (not depressed, she functions normally, just doesn't understand this "new reality"). She thinks her own understanding and knowledge of the world is restricted (Lilith in the 10th) and not allowing her to "help her son fight his demons" now (she was one of the best kindergarten teachers of our country, got awarded, now retired, but still works on "projects" in a kindergarten), while making her "make all those mistakes in my upbringing in the past." 

Lilith all the way.

And me? Of course, the Moon is extremely prominent, and so is Lilith on 8 Cancer and my Ascendent, making me "a wounded woman." I had many dreams about my previous lives as a woman, a wounded, grieving and sad woman. I guess that's why I was born in a family of heavy Cancerians, Pisceans and Scorpios with the Moon ruling my chart. But who is most prominent in Cancer conjunct my Asc? Lilith!

The archetype of Lilith is exactly: "Being limited - hurt JUST for being female and wanting something." in hrae's case - sex. In my case - healing my wounds. In my mother's case - her son's wellbeing and her ability to raise children overall. In hrae's mom's case: hrae not ending up pregnant too early, thus "limiting" her chances in life.

I've read Chiron is about "Being hurt randomly, just because the world is unfair (...and the Universe needs someone "strong enough" to become a teacher and healer, I might add!)" but Lilith is something else. It is not about being "randomly hurt," it is being hurt because "a WOMAN shouldn't/cannot/is not allowed to/mustn't do something. Lilith is about inner most natural desires and the societal imperativs of "holding appearances." I desire to beat up guys who mistreat women. But I am not allowed to. Why? Because my mom did everything in her power to supress her little Aries son who wanted to beat up guys who acted unfairly. Why? Because she wanted him to have a good career. And his grandma only wants him to be a good husband and father because she herself was mistreated (because she mistreated her own inner Lilith in more than one way!) by her Cancerian husband.

So I usually end up being surrounded by "wounded women" (or Scorpios, or "black," "goth" girls) or aggressive and explosive women. The archetype became so clear and obvious yesterday, I decided to reconsider my whole chart and approach to Lilith in astrology, and my life and women in general. I shall become more assertive NO MATTER WHAT! If Pluto wants to kill me - so be it, if Saturn wants to imprison me - so be it, if Neptune wants to dissolve me through ilness from the 6th house - I dare them all! My spirits is and will remaing stronger than that. Now I just need to watch out, because with these 3 involved in a "kite" with my Sun, I must be overcautious and then a little bit more cautious not to indulge my ego while becoming as assertive as I need to become.

The lesson of Lilith is one of compromise and measure in everything, I believe. One should look for extremes in the chart and then find a way to "balance them out" by indulging in one of them from time to time (sort of like an "dark" or "Plutonian" Venus kind of thing) and then, I believe, Lilith will have an easier time coming through. :) Maybe that will, in the end, heal the wounds of simply - being a woman.

My black moon lilith in Pisces is in the sixth house, and it doesnt like it there.

Sexuality in the work place, maybe I need to go into porn business.

@Kenji .. maybe you should think of lilith less as "sexuality" and more as "prowess".  i have lilith conjunct pluto and my MC ..  .. ..  .. dominatrix comes to mind, but dominance does not always mean sexual dominance, even when the intention is implied.  lilith is anti-subserviant, and i think that can rove quite beneficial in the work place if you know how to assert yourself. 

Oh, and I just checked: Dark moon Lilith EXACTLY conjunct my North node in Libra, while "Lilith the asteroid" hehe, 13 Aries - conjunct Vulcan and Sun.

No, Kenji, Lilith in Pisces in the 6th would mean DRAMATIC nervous behaviour leading to feelings of or actual victimizing of oneself - regarding issues of limits and/or repressed sexuality or desire.

You shouldn't see sex as mazohistic, dirty, or animalistic, but move to the upper plane and try to look for deeply spiritual unions that bring peace. That way your Lilith might find itself in an "unexpected" plane of existence, the one she was banished from: "the heaven," and there she will probably behave like a little child - walking around, exploring and feeling the bliss of the gentle sun shining and the cozy summer breeze. :) That's how I see her. :) Like a blonde in a white rarely knitted sweater, embracing herself and the world while watching the sunset from a cliff over the sea! :)

Anyone knows anything about BML in the 6th house?

@Rantares & Icarus

Thanks for the input guys, I need to explore Lilith more, I tend to get fixated on the steamy sexy underworld bits of my scorpio placements. 

Holy shit.

Mine is in Libra. In the 8th house...

Conjunct my Sun & Mars.
Sextile my Moon
Opposite my Rising
Square my Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

ohhohohohoh..my chart is just Satan in red zig zags.

No, Scar (what suitable name! hehe)-

First, the conjunction means you are - powerless. :( If you ever thought why - there is your answer. She just keeps DRAINING your strength, your power.

The sextile to your Moon probably means you need your own children to overcome it, or take the limits off your emotions.

Opposition probably is a good thing, it probably means that there is something "demonic" set against te mask you put on in public, but it is WAY better than my conjunction, because at least other people don't see you as a threat... :(

The square is... heavy stuff. Are those square your Sun and Mars too? In that case, you are probably already used to it. ;)

Hey Icarus, dig up any interesting links on Lilith Asc? If you can't remember them, that's fine. I'm enjoying reading what you wrote above about what you uncovered.

.)

@ Icarus

Yes, my sun/mars/lilith all square the shit out of half my chart.. My whole chart is basically just a grand square. It's the worst chart you'll ever see, I guarantee it.

Sun/mars conjunct lilith makes me powerless? Really?

:(

I liked it better when I was Satan.

Actually, when Lilith was transiting my Sun it was the worst case of powerlessness one could ever imagine. But... Who knows how this conjunction of yours developed itself. Probably NOT like Lilith conjunct Sun transit, but the other way around, LIke Sun conjunct Lilith. So, maybe your Sun burned, "combusted" her? With Mars there too (definitely combusted by the Sun), I don't see why not...

No, I still didn't find much about the conjunction. :( But I guess it means there is some kind of "identification" with her archetype. One interesting thing, though: BOTH my mom, AND my dad's mom, my grandma have Lilith almost exactly conjunct MY MERCURY (grandma also loosely my Sun)!!! WTF?!?!?! Was my dad subconsciously attracted to this archetype because of "grandma the 'oh, look at me, I'm a victim!' crazy witch??" They have Lilith on 23 (grandma), and 27 (mom) Aries, while my Sun is 16, and Mercury (retrograde) 24.

NOONE on this Earth, and I repeat: NOT A SINGLE LIVING SOUL (or dead, for that matter) can "extort" my "Plutonism" like my grandma! My mom can be irritating sometimes (she has her own episodes when "we all suck, and she is a victim" but they are usually triggered by someone lying about their "perfect" jobs or "marvelous" family, and I just need to talk to her to convince her it's all a fairy tale), but she means no harm.

This other one? More than once I felt like bashing her head against the wall and when she dies of the blows continue banging her head against the floor until there's simply nothing left. Then, have a cigarette (I don't smoke for 10 years, now) and one last beer, and then jump off my building and kill myself.

When my solfeggio teacher died of bone cancer, my grandma was laughing about it proudly: "I cursed her, you know? When we were young, I wished her bones would go dry! And look what happened!" - and why? Because she came to the music school they both worked at and said she saw her walking down the street to the market when she told her boss she was going for a doctor's appointment! -  So the woman didn't say anything wrong, only the truth! SHE DID SAW HER! :(

It doesn't getmore Lilith than that. :(

Unfortunately, I am not the only one she is sucking dry. :( My whole extended family is sick of her cursing (and I mean black magic cursing - gypsy style!!!) and other similar wicked, vicious and obnoxious, simply repulsive behaviour. But noone like me. And I guess I know why (besides spending too much time with her, more than anybody else): her Lilith is trine my Saturn, almost to the minute, making a grand trine with my Neptune and Mercury(Sun. My Saturn is exaggerated as it is, and she makes it even worse. Her Uranus conjunct my Sun... Jesus, I can't stand the way that woman talks and yells through her teeth! I love her very much. I just wish she wasn't such a really bad person...

^ God damn....

My lilith hasn't been THAT eventful, thankfully.

To me, it's like some bitchy Tinkerbell that I keep shoved under my bed.