I have the black moon conjunct my moon, in Leo. So this means I have repressed sexual needs that are repressed consciously or subconsciously by my mom. And this is spot on.

This was my mother and I in her car a year ago, when she asked if I was sexually active with my boyfriend of 6 months at the time. 

"Uhhh, yes. Can I go on birth control?"

her, "I don't want you having sex." 

and then I slink down in my car seat like a scolded 8-year-old. 

I realize that financial independence is what will solve this for the most part, (Last year in college)  but how did you guys deal with your parent(s) when the time came? Or was it a non-issue? 

And, the irony? She had my bother, an illegitimate child, at 20 years old. 

hmm. for me it was a non-issue. my mom started pushing birth control on me at 15, and I didn't even need it yet! I say use condoms or go to planned parenthood, they'll hook you up. I like a nice "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it comes to the boundaries of sexuality and family information.

I refused to share any info...I moved overseas and then had a hay-day. Er, hay half a decade?;)

Things were awful..but they got better. They got a lot better when she (my mum) woke up at 63 years old and decided she was not going to die without having an orgasm. (with my mum it is always TMI; i'm totally used to it)

hrae - did you spell it "bother" on purpose? :)

How does one find out one's "black moon lilith" anyway?

dina, if you register with astro.com you can choose what additional planets you want mapped on your natal chart before you view it.

I moved out of home & to Canberra (quite desperate, that one!). My Mum is quite conservative. I have Lilith in Aries in the 1st house, but with Uranus in the 7th opposite my Sun, that urge for independence in relationships is quite a natural thing for me. Lilith is really fascinating when you start to look into it. I heard a lecture once by Antonia Langsdorf who used the Meredith Brooks song "Bitch" to illustrate (quite appropriately) Lilith & all her different guises.

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who wrote to this!

Kash- that is awesome. One that she would tell you that, and two that you would tell me that, lol!!!

dina- hahaha no, it's not like that, but... good catch!!!

jotracey-You are so right, I'll have to look into Lillith more, but that's really funny that she used meredith brooks!

Can anyone suggest a good book or site on BML?  I have no eff-ing clue about her, but when I looked to see, I have Lilith rising.

it was kind of a don't ask, don't tell situation in my house. I think my parents assumed I was, but didn't want to know for sure.  Trusted me to responsible about it I guess.  Once I determined that I was going to have sex, I immediately went to the public health clinic,

tom jacobs is awesome:

http://tdjacobs.com/blog/

there is a Lilith tag. He really knows his stuff!

he also has a website. i hadn't actually visited for a while and the site looks different. he is knowledgeable. 

I have it conjunct Mercury in the 10th. 

That explains a lot. 

Dang, your chart really does just play you like a fiddle, doesn't it? 

Lilith in the 7th, I'm afraid I'm attracted to girls who are repulsive, dark, and maybe even evil.

Is this true? Uh...

My BML is in the 4th, conjunct sun.

When I was about 5-6 years old, ne and my slightly younger sis had asked where babies come from, and my mom told us. We were in the car driving somewhere (school, daycare, something like that). I remember sis and I made fun of the anatomical names for the parts that went together, but it was no big deal.

After that, nothing. Whatsoever. Beyond the mechanics of sex, everything I learned about it, I learned from others. My mom and I have a complicated relationship. I've spent most of my life emphasizing how much I'm not like her, and how much I don't want to be like her. It's almost been an obsession.

I'm 47 now, and mom and I have actually achieved a lot of healing in our relationship over the past couple of years. But it hasn't been easy.

I have a black moon lilith on the ascendant. Other than that it doesn't conjunct anything personal in my chart.

 How I dealt with my parents- well, I wanted to go see the guy I've been dating for five years, but my mother was very much against it. Talking about this was like pulling teeth, but finally I explained things and she had sympathy and was fairly convinced I knew what I was doing.

 Hrae, you said your mother had your brother at a young age. Maybe that's why she's so concerned. I don't envy you the task of explaining what you're doing to your mom, but if you absolutely have to, I think looking up information about protection, and making sure she knows that you're fairly responsible might be useful. Then again, she may not be prepared to hear even that. If she still tends to explode when you mention the subject, it may be best to keep quiet about it and wait til you're financially independant.

I have it in Cancer, same sign as my Mercury - I have no idea what that means, guess I will look it up.  Have people found that it is really all that significant?

I had once read exactly what hrae wrote in her first comment about Black Lilith in Leo and being repressed by one's mother.  In her case, magnified by moon conjunct.  I recall  Black Lilith in Leo tends to make one exude sexuality from early age and this is startling or uncomfortable for the mother.   As a Pisces with a Venus ruled chart....well, this was was true & there was tension early on including a backlash of guilt and fear when I acted on my sexuality.   Reading about  Black Lilith opened doors to begin healing unhealthy patterns for me...especially in accepting in myself what others might not.

" So this means I have repressed sexual needs that are repressed consciously or subconsciously by my mom."

Not sure where this comes from  but I can tell you that it smacks (very closely) of a theory put forth by a psychologist in the 60's who successfully promoted his idea that schizophrenia was caused by the mother's conscious or unconscious blah, blah, blah. 

He was charismatic and able to get the masses to adopt his theory which of course came right out of his ass.

Someone else had to come along with a serious (large) study the proved the genetic link and even when presented with hard core evidence otherwise, this large community of followers  clung to the charismatic leaders ideas.

To this day people who were exposed to this / studied psych at the time (people in their later 50's, early 60's) sometimes spout stuff like this... blame the mother for schizophrenia due her un-lived life and it sounds like you have been exposed to one of them...

It does not sound like "astrology" as I know but someone's skewed interpretation. In other words, for every "repressed mother" you could find an "overt mother" and the theory just goes all to hell.

 Sorry!

Um... some of these people got their ideas by eating acid so just keep that in mind. :-)

hey Elsa,

I'm just going by what I read about Black Moon Lilith from astrology websites. There are a ton of reasons those websites can be faulty, and that the "astrologers" posting that information is not validated or supported by the larger astrological community. 

I read a few interpretations and it seemed to make sense. However, as I respect your opinion, astrology or not, I would be more than happy to post a wide array of opinions of what people think Black Moon Lilith might mean.

I DO see the fallacy though, and the issue with self-diagnosis and being gullible. Edit: and I guess maybe cookbook astrology too? 

hrae - I just recognize that mindset and am aware of it's lineage... which probably goes back even further. In other words the schizophrenia guy probably adapted something of someone elses.

It got my attention because to look at anyone's chart and think you can determine their mother's reality seems faulty to me. At best, you can talk about how the person experienced their mother but I have found that to be unreliable as well so have personally abandoned it.

"You feel this way about your mother..."

"No I don't."

A person is only going to go through that so many times before they start to re-think.

Ditto ...hrae.  I just checked to see if I could find the link to what I read and found it...seems to be a dutch astrologer? http://www.astrotherapy.eu/BlackMoon.htm

I latched on to that little blurb just because it seemed to fit. Really don't know diddley squat about Black moon lilith. . . .    

And you're right, Elsa.  Can't blame mothers for all our woes.  Probably a lot of sexual guilt is innate (?) or religious based?  Or just is...or isn't...depending on the individual.   Maybe my 6th house sun/moon drives some of this.   

This is an good article on the Liliths, because there are more than one, I am always having to get it clear in my head which is which although they all apply to the same theme.

http://www.astrologysoftware.com/resources/articles/getarticle.asp?ID=168&orig

This link is also at the end of the article link posted above.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/3Liliths/

Daemoness, thanks for links. Got reading to do!

Black Moon Lilith Conjunct Moon

Lilith | Moon-aspect points out a very emotional childhood. A tremendous fight with the mother is lost by Lilith | Moon. As a child Lilith | Moon completely identifies with the mother and want to help her in any way. The mother on the opposite is constantly criticizing and doesn't respect Lilith | Moon's emotions. This is too hard  too handle for Lilith | Moon.  Due to this Lilith | Moon leaves [the body or the family - that depends on the age]. Lilith | Moon is not able to express the own  emotions and a lot of emotional confusion become a tremendous problem. Lilith | Moon's free will is completely sabotaged. Lilith | Moon does forgive the mother time after time, while the mother continuously dominates and even abuse the child physicaly. Finally the child will end all alone and close emotionally. A "closed" Lilith | Moon is constantly drawn into situations where others release their negative emotions towards them. On a subconsious level Lilith | Moon wants to help and give a healing. This quality is admissible once Lilith is "re-opened" and is able to make a distinction between their own feelings and other's. A "re-opened" Lilith | Moon can distinguish the negative emotions and stay away from those "too hard too handle".An "open" Lilith | Moon makes conscious desicions now and offers only emotionalassistance to the "positives" in Need.  

http://www.astrotherapy.eu/BlackMoon.htm

I'd like to say that, in the past 4 months, I've become a lot closer with my mom, with a bunch of things- and I'm also a lot better at not victimizing myself...which, re-reading this post, is what I seem to be doing!

Neptune retrograde, anyone? har.

Hrae, that link is fabulous!  Enjoying the Chiron section from them, too.  Thanks!