I've been talking to my friends about the new person I'm dating and they said I can't be that honest! Well, to tell you the truth I am that honest and blunt. 

My question is... should we be honest in our relationships about what we've done or have not done? Or should we keep them to ourselves because that was the past.

Your friends are saying you can't be as honest as you are being with him? If so, I have thoughts, just want to be clear on what you mean.

I really wish I could answer this for you. But, I'm struggling with it myself. So, I'm interested in what everyone else says.

I've been told that before... everyone has their own level of honesty! Sometimes it's nice to let it all hang out, but sometimes it's also nice to speak with a bit of discretion.

Well Kr, I said I've never done something before, and they said it was weird and don't tell him. Well it was too late and I did tell him. He thought it was cool.

I mean I've being very frank how many people I've being with, and so has he. People are telling me thats a bit too honest. But what do you do when you are a Sag with Moon in Pisces and he is a Gemini with Moon in Scorpio!

You're going to be honest. Is that wrong?

True, Caroline. I can see your point. I'm wondering where is the discretion line?

I think about this too.

I am sure nothing my fiancee could tell me would change how I feel about him, nor could it change my commitment to him. And I feel that I could tell him anything and he would stick by me.

But if there were difficult things from the past that don't affect the relationship now, is it worth bringing them up? Especially if you've moved on and don't care to revisit them? I wonder about this sometimes. I guess if it's not something that's going to add to your relationship in a beneficial way, it may be worth leaving it in the past, so long as is isn't something that defines you or makes you more accessible.

But I'm not sure...looking forward to other responses.

This is a tough one @sunny & it depends on the subject... but you ARE a Sadge, so I think you need to err on the side of caution ;) Also, your friends are your friends because you think them sensible & sane, so if that's what they're telling you, maybe you should listen up!

It depends too on who you are talking to. Some people like to hear things straight up & they admire you for that, but if you are dealing with a sensitive person, you could hurt their feelings by accident.

Maybe these things are best judged on a "case by case" basis?!

@dolce... you said "But if there were difficult things from the past that don't affect the relationship now, is it worth bringing them up? Especially if you've moved on and don't care to revisit them? I wonder about this sometimes. I guess if it's not something that's going to add to your relationship in a beneficial way, it may be worth leaving it in the past, so long as is isn't something that defines you or makes you more accessible."

Great point!!

Hmmm yes, I see all the points. I like to be honest so there is no confusion I tend to be a bit... Er crazy and all over the place. Plus I'm trying to work on being open about myself. I don't do this at all. Maybe I'm getting things all confused again.

Grrr Neptune Pisces conjunct my moon!!!

I think moving slowly at first can be self-protective, and by that I mean that it can protect your self-respect. I have a friend who tells all at the beginning of a relationship thinking that it will build emotional intimacy. But confessing all *before* she has built enough intimacy has generally backfired for her. She has a lot of Sadge and is an absolutely lovely person.

I think when you reveal a lot really quickly, it can push people away because it can create a false sense of closeness before you develop a real one over a bit more time.

I have been told before (by the people I've been in relationships with) that I am too honest and some things are better kept to oneself. 

In regards to the subject you were speaking of, I don't see anything wrong with being honest in that regard, cause ya know, that's what you're gonna expect from your partner.

I guess it all depends on the subject.  I think there are times when I've been honest about something more to my benefit, not the other person, and those are the times when you have to sit and think what good it will bring to be honest.

This is individual and based on the people involved. For me, I need full disclosure. It's why I could never date a Scoripo. If we're even thinking about being serious, I need the full monty. I'll also give you the full monty in return.

If my partner isn't someone comfortable with that, then I can respect that - but I probably don't feel comfortable with YOU and where we're going.

Communication, bearing my soul and having someone trust me enough to do so, is important to my Pisces.

The thing is, if a subject comes up I will be honest. I'll be diplomatic about it, but honest. I'm not a person that rushes into things quickly, Saturn Squares Venus.

But I might take up on your theory @McKenna and do a "case by case".

@Kr, did it really backfire??? This is making me nervous, so I should shut up then??

@Ad Astra, what would you consider as keeping to yourself then?

Yes @Luci, thats what I was thinking. I want to be comfortable and he in return comfortable. I'm not a big fan of big surprises. Especially awkward ones.

@Sunny - It's hard for me, I find it hard to keep anything to myself! :D

I honestly don't have a lot of experience with full disclosure regarding my sexual history. *chagrined grin* But whenever the time comes, with the man, I imagine my own rather innocent story will be a rather extreme, and dark truth to tell.

8th house Sag routinely thinks to herself, "you can't handle my truth!." So I say nothing, per my Libra stellium, bite my tongue, or say it in a more roundabout way with light friends.

I had the experience yesterday with a group of women I'm not extremely close to. We were talking, and I had a lot more to say on the subject than I let on. But I didn't say it as I could already tell from the room's feel that none of them would be able to handle my words without cracking. So I said very little, and departed the conversation quietly.

I also have a 1st house Gem Moon conjunct Mercury so, I have been easily, and thoughtlessly hurt by the words of Sag men before. It's never their intention, and they don't have a mean bone in their bodies, but I have known a few that make comments that impact me without realizing it.

Sunny, it backfires for her because she's not thoughtful about what she divulges and she later regrets it. I also think it's karmic for her -- she's got her NN in Cancer. I think there's definitely a way to be thoughtful and still honor your Sadge and there's no reason to think you're not doing that.

I don't think you should shut up at all, nor beat yourself up for anything you have shared. If you are totally comfortable with it, that is great. My caution is *only* to make sure that you, yourself, are totally comfortable with what you're sharing so when your friends say something like what they said to you you can then say, "no this is who I am and what I want." That kind of intention and clarity also helps you draw in the kind of partner you need. You know what I mean?

So Mina, When you've spoken to Sadge peeps, and they are very honest with you. Is it too much? But I'm more like you though. I lack a lot of experience in a lot of areas. 

Kr, yes I understand. I did say "no this is who I am and what I want" to my friends. And I told him, "you take me as I am, and I'll take you as you are". I am comfortable in what I say to him. I say it in the most sincere and thoughtful way. I'm super careful but too dam honest.

But my friends still think I should say less. And be more like them. But I am the only Sadge in the mix! hahahahaha

Sunny--in my experience it's only been Sag men that are younger than me, and are trying to figure out how to catch me for a date. ;) I have very little experience with Sag women, so I can't really comment much about them.

But yes, as an example, I was talking to a guy at my university a few years ago before I graduated. He was very handsome, and liked me, but he had no perceptiveness, or ability to gauge his audience, when I said happily, trying to let him into my inner world, "I'm a romantic fluffball, and I know it."

His response was, "I don't believe in any of that, romance doesn't exist, and it's a bunch of crap."

O-kay....never mind, I'll check you off the list of candidates, nice to have met you all the same.

hhahahahhaha

Mina he said that! Yes I would cross him off my list too!

There's a fine line between being honest and being presumptuous. With all the mutable, look to Virgo for some grounding. "What purpose am I serving by saying this?" and "Everything has a time and place."

Sometimes it's the timing that is more offensive than what you're actually saying.

Yup, it happened. I know he didn't mean to hurt my feelings really, he just lacked a stopping point, and perception. And those are two things I *really* need in a guy.

And of-course my 8th house extreme Sag kicked in with Merc/Pluto, and wanted to ask in a focused curious voice, "Wow, someone really burned you. Not quite over that yet are we? hmm, what a shame." ; ) I didn't say that--too much air, and Libra, but I did wish him well on his journey, pointedly without me.

But regarding sexual partners, yes I would want to know it all, and then some (6th house Mars is highly particular about that sort of thing). TDO was honest with me, but he was also a knowing intelligent man, and wouldn't show me a blood test he probably had with him all the time until I admitted I wanted him that much. Hmph, darn 9th house Scorpy Moon.....I had to vocalize everything fully. And I adored him for it. :)

Dorchid, yes that makes sense timing. I do have Virgo Mars. I will use that.

Hmm very interesting Mina. And you should of told him that! I would of. hahahaha, but then again I am a Sag! LOL

Awww... so Scorpio Moons like to hear the truth? 

*unladylike foot stamp/sulk*

That one did. He was also a Gem/Scorpio, and his 9th house Scorpio/Moon was pretty apparent. But with me he was pretty loving, and fair about it, and was patient about me revealing what I wanted to reveal in my own time. I asked him once in a rather, er, interested (more like husky, but I'm trying to be polite, as always ;)) voice if he had a blood test on him somewhere.

Rrrr, he turned to look at me fully, and said calmly, and with a perceptive grin, "Well, I don't think you'd need to see a blood test, if I had one, as we aren't going to have sex are we?"

*shriek* Not fair, but fair all the same.

I think I looked hot, then flushed, then made some excuse and stalked off to another part of my apartment to compose myself, and my ruffled mane. He knew what he was doing, I'll give him that. And perhaps it was his 9th house Scorpio, and my 8th house Sag's dual extreme honesty that helped the relationship get off the ground in the beginning. Taurus was stubborn, and not yet ready to come out and ask for it by name. *blush*

Le sigh, next time.....

Urgh, must go. It was nice talking to you Sunny! ::waves:: : )

Scorpio Moons tend to like depth and intensity...they definitely prefer truth over deception...and have a way of sussing it out if you lie.  With your Cappy Venus and Virgo Mars, I think you'd be good at timing and acting like a lady.  :)

As a Sadge, especially with Aries Moon, it's not always easy for me to pull back.  Full throttle is what I'm about!  But your Pisces Moon may fare much better.  :)

Jennifer, I try to have good timing, except when it comes to jokes. I have noticed that Scorpio Moons seem to suss things out much faster than I realise it. I do try to hold back the crazy, but sometimes..... LOL

Maybe I have nothing to worry.

Are you too honest? Since you're a Sadge too!

Yes, I am very blunt LOL.  Besides being a Sadge, I have other inherent boundary issues (Sun-Neptune, Moon-Pluto)...the urge to merge is always on me.  Someone once said they thought I was hiding a personality disorder.    Granted, I think he's a real asshole himself, so...

Moon-Pluto, according to Arroyo, is similar to Scorpio Moon in depth and intensity.  The urge to merge comes from tuning in and picking up things from the outfield that people don't say.  In the end, everyone wants to love and be loved and accepted for who they are, even the ugly bits.  But not everyone is capable of expressing that in a way that makes sense to the other, especially if they have not first acknowledged it to themself.  That is where the merging goes bad.

In dealing with a Scorpio Moon, I'd rather give them the truth and let them sort it out for themselves, than lie and get caught.  They can be rather unforgiving.  If they can't accept what you're saying, then it reveals where they need to grow. 

But again, diplomacy, tact and timing go a long way. 

Hmmm interesting Jennifer, I've just remembered that I too have Moon trines Pluto and Neptune Moon! to boot that off, Moon trines Scorpio Jupiter. I think I'm gonna need to be honest and back from them too.

I think, this is more on my part that it is on there's.

Also, people think I may have a personality problem too. LOL!!! They just got Neptuned!

I think telling people things they don't want to know is "too much".

Sagittarians Telling the Truth – God Help Us!

My partner doesn't need to know about my previous sex or relationship history. He is my present, I don't care for revisiting the past unless its about things we learned, things that have hurt us in the past, etc. Otherwise, I don't want to know, nor do I wann share anything bout my past relationships or sexual history. 

It's not necessary, I'm not interested in dispelling information that will only feed into insecurities. 

Elsa

hahahhahahhaa! thats so funny!

Errrr... No I'm not that bad. I have Libra Saturn and Cappy!

Yeah, I'm the same way - I want honesty in return.  That's why I don't think it's such a big deal, see?  If you're blunt, that's cool.  I'm blunt, too.  Native West coasters are not as straight shooting as East coasters.

Lately, though, I can't get Neptune off my mind.  The whole Sun-Neptune conjunction in Sadge makes me think I'm a mystery to myself...and I don't like that.  I wish I knew what to expect, now that Neptune is going into Pisces.  My South Node is in Pisces.  I'd like to know if I'm going to be a fog machine for the next 14 or so years!

I've dated Geminis before and they're loads of fun.  Really smart.  I like the idea that this guy has a Scorpio Moon, I think you need that intensity, especially with all your Earth and that water moon.  :)

Just read that story, Elsa.  LOL.  "Make sure they see your ass walking."  True!

Ok, so here's the thing:  I don't think couples need to know EVERY damn fuckin thing about eachother.  I don't need to know which women my man has slept with, etc. necessarily.  What I don't know won't kill me.  I do think a little mystery goes a long ways.

BUT.  My pet peeve is people who ask questions when they're not ready for answers.  If you ask me my damn opinion, I'm gonna give it to you.  And I expect the same, vice versa.  Otherwise I would have gone away and found the answer to my question on my own and not bothered you to begin with.

@newsl4ng, yes thats true, you can't say too much that will feed into their insecurities.

@Jennifer, I think this Pisces Neptune will be good for me. It will support me, through the good and the bad.  It might support you too? I do like some intensity I need it. Intensity helps me to stay focused. hahhahahaha!

Jennifer you and I have the same pet peeve! hhahahhhaha

Good point @news14ng.