So, here's the thing. This is like...mostly a rant, just because you're my ladies (and a gent or two):

I'm not a Gemini. I'm not a Sagittarius. I don't LIKE going out and having drinks and being raucous and wild. I rarely drink. I don't like crowded places. 

WHY IS THIS NOT OKAY? 

I have a bunch of friends going out tonight and despite telling them politely I'm not going to make it, they keep calling me and harassing me. The Geminis just DO NOT understand why I don't like going out. Like it's WEIRD and I'm some freakin' space oddity because I don't relish going to the bar. To the point that TWO OF THEM keep bringing it up and asking me like they're concerned about it. 

SOME PEOPLE ARE INTROVERTED! Seriously, some of us thrive on "alone time"! I know, it's hard to believe, but it's TRUE! 

I'd rather curl up with a trashy romance novel (BECAUSE I'M A PISCES AND IT'S ALL ABOUT THE FANTASY WORLD) than I would go get my drink on, okay!?

WHYYYYYY do they not accept this!? Ain't NOTHIN' wrong with me!

Go luci!! I'd rather stay home and fuck and watch movies then anything.

Luci, I feel you. I had this problem in college. It's weird how some people can't fathom that people are different. And also can't fathom how someone could possibly prefer a night alone to a night of loud boozing and constant chatter!

cheapest date in the world...

Hahahahah, Elsa! Exactly! Enough to "do" at home!

It's just like Geminis CANNOT wrap their heads around this and I'm friends with more than one of them. If you don't want to go out three nights a week to the bar and just get immersed in this world of OTHER PEOPLE, you're fuckin' STRANGE. 

 That's why I posted about it on my Facebook: "How do you get through to a Gemini that OTHER PEOPLE ARE NOT GEMINI!?"

Although, now that I think about it, my mom was the one Gemini I know that was a homebody. Cancer moon, though, so that's more "home and family" grounding, I guess. 

Yeah, luci, the shit they think is interesting bores the hell out of me.  I just have no patience with the flitting.  Call me with the condensed gossip. That much I can take but I see no need to be there or witness it. Just tell me the embellished lie version and I'll take it from there. ;-)

Some people think the world is one straight line and that everyone else is like them.

Elsa, I agree re: flitting. Unless it is funny and makes me laugh. I've known people who tell me about every errand they ran over the weekend... I listen politely, because it's not offensive or anything but... why?

Luci...that is so funny!  Am so glad you posted this because I am the same way.  Most of my friends would say that I am an extrovert, but it's my Leo Rising that tricks them....I am smiling and talkative when they see me at work or if they run into me anywhere, but I do not like going out at night just for the hell of it.  And I hate being at bars and that whole "seen and be seen" stuff, but some just don't get it.  funny, my friends that don't get it are Pisces and Libra.  I don't have any Gemini friends.  Both my boys are Sags, and they are homebodys, but my daughter who is a Virgo/Pisces is the party animal.....never home..out all the time. 

"I'd rather stay home and fuck and watch movies."

Yeahh!! Waving hands. Me too.

Sometimes I like to hang with a few good friends at their houses, my house. Not really into the commercial scene. When I was younger I'd go to the bar but it was to get a man/ego boost, of course.

I do like to go to dive bars and watch great blues bands play. That's a reason to get off the couch.

Kinda weird, but generally speaking I'm a homebody Libra hanging around with a social butterfly Taurus. What are the odds?

I think it's funny how they all equate going out to the bar as "RELAXING".

"I can't want to go out this weekend and let my hair down and relax". 

Loud music. Loud talking. Spending money on stuff that mostly tastes gross anyway. Having to dress to the nines.

Not my idea of RELAXING. 

Every Myers-Briggs I've ever taken has me split evenly between introvert and extrovert.  *laughs*  But even when I want to be OUT, I don't want to be in a bar being a barfly.  I'll be in a bar to listen to live music or play darts/pool with friends (and no more than twice a month), but would rather be out window shopping, flea marketing, finding a road I've never travelled and going where ever it goes, or having a get-together at someone's house and getting raucous.  And when I'm in, I'm so in: reading, listening to music, experimenting in the kitchen, don't even want to answer the phone.  Leave me be, I'm in, dammit! 

Honestly it sounds like the people in the question are at worst rude, and at best just a bit self-centered.  I agree with you that if you don't want to go out, they should leave you alone. Let them go out and have a good time and whatever - and if that's not your thing, it's not your thing and no amount of nagging will make it so!

I have a hard time, though, when your words seem to say that all geminis (or sags or whoever) are a certain way.  If I've learned anything reading Elsa these last 8 or 9 years, it's that everyone is unique and it's fairly difficult to say all xxx's do yyy.

This is probably a silly question, but I'll ask it anyway:  Have you asked them flat out to quit bugging you about it?  I would think it would be OK to invite, but once you decline that they should leave you alone about it.  And if it were me being bugged, I'd say so flat out, and then not answer their calls if they kept calling me that night.

That being said, we all handle things our own ways.  Good luck with it.

I really get what you're saying , cause I'm an introvert too (Pisces). I don't have friends bagging me about it, because they are all introvert also. But I hate how extrovert people consider introvert to have major character flaw. Mu sister is Virgo, with a big stellium in Libra. She's always out and about, she can't stand being alone. She roles her eyes at me staying at home on weekend night and considers my lifestyle generaly weird. Many people are like that. And I don't get it.  I can accept and understand their idea of fun is to be in the crowd, how come they don't get my need to be alone.

 I even let other people's opinions get to me to the point I thought there's really something wrong with me. 

This article helped me, and made lough. http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

Bars - ugh.  I have always hated bars, never hung out at one.  

I have been married forever, but when I was in my early 20's, I would go out with my friends dancing, to movies, but never bars.  And I have always, always been a homebody - I can't say my friends ever gave me any grief about it - they knew I needed to be in bed by midnight or I turned into a pumpkin!  

Just be yourself - you don't have to explain yourself over and over again.  Whoever does not accept you as you are is not really a good friend anyway. 

From an introverted Leo:  The few times I went out with my friends to bars or clubs, I couldn't wait to get home and veg out in my comfy bed with my books!

To this day, parties stress me out.  Last week, a bunch of people came over to my house, and I had to go to my room, lock the door, and hide for 10 minutes to calm my nerves.

It's our culture that perpetuates this silly stereotype.  If you're in your late teens or 20s and don't like to party, go to bars every night, or binge drink (why?  just why?), there's something really really wrong with you, and you're a freaking weirdo that needs to be avoided at all costs.  Heaven forbid your party animal friends get lumped in with a weirdo.

We introverts aren't missing out on anything!!!  Now please leave us alone and let us curl up with our books. 

I too have a low threshold where my friends partying is concerned. I lost interest in the parabolic party curve a long time ago.

 I definitely get what you are saying.

I am right in between! I love going out with friends to bars and clubs, but I also love to stay home just relaxing with friends!

 I usually have invitations both  from extrovert and introvert friends, leaving me choice as to where I will go.

 My Aquarius best friend stopped telling me to go out with her! She knows by now that if I want to, I will give her a call! She goes out every night.

My Gemini friend never stops.

---

Pisces-Sagi

Shannon:

My words don't say that "all Geminis (or sags or whoever)" are a certain way. They say that the people that -I- personally interact with that are these signs are that way. 

Obviously, every person is an individual. There's no way around that. It would be stupid to assume that EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT'S A GEMINI acts this way and I even qualified that by saying my mother was a Gemini and very much a homebody, too (probably because of her Cancer moon - which is grounded in "home"). 

However: the majority of people that are these signs display these qualities. Point in case - why a Cancer moon might break the typical Gemini mold. That's what astrology is about. You can pin-point how to interact or why someone behaved they way they do, with things based upon what planets are in what sign - because there's a key attributes these signs display.

THAT'S why I word it as I do. Pisces are (in general) mutable, fantasy based, intuitive folks. It explains why I'm more apt to immerse myself in a computer game or a romance novel than a night on the town. Gemini are (in general) intensely extroverted , connection-based talkers - which is why the two Gemini folk I have in my life can't understand why I'm not the same way and bug me about it. 

Gemini sun/Scorpio moon.  I can never decide between going out and flitting and staying home for movies and sex.  Sometimes I annoy myself with it!  My solution was to marry an Aquarius who is weirder than me and doesn't mind if we stay or go as long as it's interesting. 

Ha, this discussion cracks me up. I'm an introvert, too. But I find it really relaxing to be around talky, energetic people (I have lots of Pluto/8th but also Moon in Sadge and Venus in Aries) My boyfriends and best friends have almost always been talkers. I bask in it and so do they. I can be quiet and watch/listen/be a sounding board for hours and they can perform and be heard for hours. And while I am always, always happy to stay home, I also don't mind going out when among good friends. I am usually just the quiet, content one in the midst of the chaos.

Amen Luci.

Ok, I can't help it, I have to post. I'm an Aquarian/Leo with Mars in Libra. You would think I'd like to go out and get it on. (Hey, I'm talking about when I was younger, way younger :) Not so. I hated bars where people used to come up to me and ask if I was a cop, or someone I was dancing with would put her arm around my waist and feel the gun - not for long, though - and I'd be expected to drink pitcher after pitcher of beer. I don't drink, never have and think it all tastes like crap. Except a nice wine once in a while.

 I much preferred staying home with the one I was seeing, listening to music, watching a movie, smoking a little, uh sorry (smile) not as a cop, no!...and, of course that other thing that I'm not sure guys are supposed to talk about here. Yeah, that thing. I love to get together with 3-4 people who enjoy laughter and good conversation. And I enjoy being home with my beautiful wife, Denise. Looking at the stars and holding hands on the beach...No one here to bug me about going out....

I totally get this. I'm an introvert -- and I have a close friend, a Sag, who just doesn't get it!!! I try to explain to her, yes, that people are different and that I"M NOT HER. But she doesn't get it..... Well, maybe now she does, actually, cuz she hasn't bugged me about this topic in a long time...... I've got a lot of Cancer/Virgo. There is stuff I'll go out to do, absolutely. But bars? Actually, I don't have any friends who go to bars.... but there's always something this Sag friend wants me to do.... like travel!  Or... .she just has this sense of adventure and freedom... I'm  much more a homebody.  Makes me wonder I've always wound up with Sag friends though. Maybe cuz they're so friendly and smiling... and chime in with their Sag opinions :)

and i feel similarly to tinaroma on this thread. I feed off the group energy-- Sometimes my venus in leo (in 12th) will come out to play but also just feel comfortable being quiet, soaking it in, observing, feeding, etc...

I'm an introvert that likes to go out. My beef is that people usually want you to interact with everyone when you go out and be the party animal.. i'm there to dance and observe the party people.. maybe do a little flirting.. :P. I prefer being with a couple of people I connect to, who can handle wandering off on their own, but being committed to leaving together. I like to go dancing and it's hard to do that at home. 

Libra and sag in introverted houses with water planets in fire houses. Going for a walk outside does me the world of good emotionally. Just wish the city i was living in hadn't gotten so damn crowded. :P Neptune/jupiter/chiron transiting my aquarius 4th house. Like thinking putting up condo after condo at 4,000 people a condo isn't going to completely increase the stress level and crime.. :P:P:P There were not a lot of tranquil, walkable neighbourhoods left without costing a bunch to live there. Ok i'm from Canada and am spoiled :P

ahmen

I am a gemini but I am NOT an extrovert

Prefer to be home with my books and lovely husband and a cat on my lap

People don't understand this

Going out like they do seems fun to them I guess

I feel for you Luci

Have you read this article - I am sure you will identify

no there is nothing wrong with us

http://www.jonathanrauch.com/jrauch_articles/2004/11/caring_for_your.html

That article is reassuring somehow. I do have a caveat: I am happy around extroverts if I have had plenty of time by myself in a day (my work is 1/3 surrounded by people and 2/3 solitary). But I didn't always know this about myself. I ended up breaking up with my most compatible boyfriend who is also my favorite person on the planet because we lived together early in our lives/careers, a time when I was surrounded by people for 8 hours a day at work and then came home to his 100% very extrovert attention. The lack of balance (lack of quiet) had me running by the end of one year, and I don't think either of us understood why. I hadn't yet conceptualized that I need a good amount of time by myself in a day. All through childhood and years at school, alone time is built into life.

my theory is that it isn't introvert/extrovert - it is a degree of each in everyone.

And I thing that the progressed sun going into other signs might have an impact.

Right now with progressed sun in cancer I just really would rather be home

but when the progressed sun goes into Leo - while I don't think I will turn into an extrovert - I do maybe think I won't be so so introverted

It doesn't fluctuate for me. I've got Leo moon and Leo rising and I'd still most of the time rather be home.

luci:

I see this a lot with my Gemini friends. I am an Aries, so arguably I should be social, but I have sun in 12th house. Despite being more extroverted than introverted, I NEED time alone to recharge. There once was a time where I had to meet up with clients AND friends and had to schedule them all in. I was somewhat ranting that I don't have time for myself. My good friend, a Gemini said, "Well don't complain that you're so popular! I wish I had your schedule!

Also too in this society, there is a pressure to be more social. If you're not social, you must be weird... For instance in a workplace situation, if you don't go out for drinks with coworkers, some people might htink you don't have team spirit - or something like that. People make so many quick assumptions of the other, not accepting that there are indeed people who NEED to recharge on their own.

So my dear Pisces Luci, I'm so proud of you for embracing this introversion! Some people still don't quite embrace this side of them! Heck, I'm only learning this now (although I am an extrovert that needs time alone to recharge). 

I hear ya. I definitely get some hell for being the introvert as I am. People (aside from friends) assume we're many things... Rude, arrogant, sneaky... It's odd really.

I'm libra/sag and i love being with ppl, but sometimes i prefer to be alone (scorpio stellium/12H). I prefer shopping alone rather than with a bunch of girlfriends. I hate it when i bump into ppl at the mall or something and they feel pity for me because i'm shopping alone. What's the big deal? 

Rox, I agree that the progressed sun has a lot to do with shifts like that.  I used to go to the bar ALL the time.  My sun progressed into scorpio and now its the last place on Earth I wanna go.

I also think it has a lot to do with quitting smoking.  I can't imagine going to the bar and not having a cigarette with my drink. Thats just torture.  Also my mars progressed into Virgo and that whole scene just started to seem "unclean."

I'm with you guys on the progressed sun...mine shifted into Virgo when I started high school.  It coincided with Pluto crossing over the DSC.  I'd always been introverted, but I wanted to disappear at that point.

Hahaha, this made me "LOL" literally.  Because with Neptune in the 1st house, people are ALWAYS telling me either what I am, or what I'm not.  They never just believe me as I say I am one way.  For instance, when I first started working at my job in the E.R. I'd always say "Well I am a little shy" and my then manager would say "YOU'RE NOT SHY!!!" And start cracking up.  I'm thinkin' "Lady... Really... I think I know me better than you know me.  I know how to get the job done and I can direct a team... But when it's all said and done, you'll find me in that corner office minding my own damn business..."  And it's true.  I have a 12th house Sun.  I need my "me" time without people thinking I need a psych eval.  It's so annoying. I also have a 12th house Saturn and 12th house Mercury.  To make that Mercury even more private, it's in Scorpio.  So I don't trust my thoughts with just anyone.  As a matter of a fact, to get "inside my head" is a huge deal to me so once you're in, don't get yourself out... Cause you're not coming back.  I can be the deepest person, or the most shallow.  Just depends on how I need to be around you.  But one thing is for sure, I'm always honest.

Then there's the Sag rising... But Saturn is literally right on top it, repressing what could be a huuuge outgoing personality.  Uranus is 3 degrees away (both Sat and Ura are in Sag) but even that just means I'm independent and do my own thing.  You will almost always find me alone.  Not because I'm anti-social or anything like that... I'm not... I just like to get things done on my own time and I don't need a tag along for that.  Then there's Neptune (clouding all) in the first house, Venus (making me seem "sweet" which I am, but don't push my buttons cause I can hold my own ;) ha) is also there, and Uranus.

Ehhh.  But really... I like to do my own thing, surround myself with good people (Neptune, 12th house Sun and my Scorp. placements pick up on too much... ) and have a good wild night out like once a month. Maybe. :)

Me too!  I just finished reading this amazing book called 'Introvert Power!'  by Laurie Helgoe.  Very validating, with lots 'o' great new info too.  I've always been super introverted, but as an Aries with a Leo rising, I look and act like an extrovert when people meet me.  I cut out one friend because she kept haranging me to go 'out' all the time.  I don't do 'out.'  I have a Moon in Cancer in the 12th house, trine Neptune in the 4th, and lots of Pisces in me.   My new phrase now, when people ask me to a party or to go out somewhere is to just say say 'no thanks, that's the introvert version of hell!.'   It works well.   If your friends can't respect that you're an introvert and need to be alone, maybe its best to set stronger boundaries.  Like, 'I'm an introvert, i hate going out, and stop asking me.'.  I've downgraded a few of those types to email pals....much easier.  Can still connect, but no need to see them in person.  Trust me, they will keep bugging you until you set them straight.

It's wonderful to find others who feel the same as me on this.

It's seemed in all these years that it's like there's something wrong with me because almost everyone I've come across loves going out socialising, drinking, and clubbing.  I tried that briefly at uni and found it just to be boring, I was uncomfortable in large loud crowds anyway, and I ended up going home early each time so I could play on my computer or watch a good sci-fi or horror film.  To others that sort of thing is regarded as "not having a life" - but as far as I'm concerned "having a life" is doing the things we enjoy.  Plus why is getting drunk regarded as "living" when people end up mentally being totally far from real living/awarenes as they can get (apart from drugs obviously), especially when they can't even recall the night before when they were supposedly "having a life".

BTW I'm Aries Sun (Independent), Pisces Mercury (Loves peace and alone times), and anti-social Moon opposite Pluto, lol.

"Shannon:

My words don't say that "all Geminis (or sags or whoever)" are a certain way. They say that the people that -I- personally interact with that are these signs are that way. 

Obviously, every person is an individual. There's no way around that. It would be stupid to assume that EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT'S A GEMINI acts this way and I even qualified that by saying my mother was a Gemini and very much a homebody, too (probably because of her Cancer moon - which is grounded in "home"). 

However: the majority of people that are these signs display these qualities. Point in case - why a Cancer moon might break the typical Gemini mold. That's what astrology is about. You can pin-point how to interact or why someone behaved they way they do, with things based upon what planets are in what sign - because there's a key attributes these signs display.

THAT'S why I word it as I do. Pisces are (in general) mutable, fantasy based, intuitive folks. It explains why I'm more apt to immerse myself in a computer game or a romance novel than a night on the town. Gemini are (in general) intensely extroverted , connection-based talkers - which is why the two Gemini folk I have in my life can't understand why I'm not the same way and bug me about it."

 I was thinking about this. Some real brain-searching, because I like to make sure I've thought everything from a lot of angles and I'm comfortable with my assertion - not just half-assing it (3rd house Saturn in Libra, natch).

Then I did some charting on the Sadge I mentioned. I originally was going to compare charts to see if there was something that stood out to me about this kind of nature. But I stopped with hers:

SHE HAS A GEMINI MOON.

Yeah. That stands out, all right. Heh.  

I stand by my defense.