"You have to come home to diet food, I'm sorry," I told the soldier.

 "Yeah, and a dog that can hunt anything."

"That raccoon is bold," the soldier said regarding the coon that lives in the yard where he leaves his truck when he's home. "He lives in the dumpster and I threw some stuff in there, he came out and hissed at me. Look you fucker, I'm from Tennessee, You pull that shit with me and I'll have you roastin' on a stick."

I thought this was funny because the soldier is NOT from TN. Venus in Gemini and he is lying to a raccoon! 

"Yes, I can tell you're very much in love with me,"  I said. "You like these shorts."

"I do like those shorts, I like you, P>"

"Well last time you were home you didn't like me so much.

Yeah. but you were bitching at me."

I smirked,

"it's one of the movies I wanted to see."

"I know, it was on your list. When you're out there in that truck, I am thinking of you."

"Are you, P? Are you thinking of me, Don Gato, Meow, Meow, Meow?"

a few days ago I told satori of the bad things that could happen. "I know this could happen, don't think I don't I said."

 "Yeah," she said solemnly."

"Yeah, I said."

"It could happen to anyone but it is more likely to happen to you."

"Yeah, ain't that a bitch?"

"Love," I said in the middle of what is the horror of the movie, 'Enemy At The Gates".

"It seems it is possible at all times," he said.

I was moved.

"I feel bad because you didn't marry me," I said.

"P! I still have the footprint on my ass where you kicked me out. Get out you said! Get out, you cock!!"

"I went to school with your granddaughter," the soldier said, pointing a figure in history being portrayed in the movie.

"Yeah, what did you think of that?" I asked.

"Well, she was ugly. She was an ugly girl," he said.

I laughed.

"And she wanted to fuck ____:" he said, naming his brother. "Boy did she ever. She wanted to fuck him bad."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, it's even in the yearbook," he said.

"You're kidding."

"Nope. That is her quote under her picture in the year book. "Where's ____?"  Because she was always looking for him, see?  She used to ask everyone all the time, where he was so she could fuck him..."

"Get the camera ready and prepare for drama. You won't believe the drama Dora pulls when you give her a bath. She contorts, throws herself up against the wall. Put a little water on her and she acts as if you threw acid all over her and you're trying to kill her."

"P!  Are you telling those people your side of the story again?"

"We;ll have to get danny DeVito to play me and some big Amazon blond woman to play me," he said.

"Why is that?"

"So they'll be looking for some blond... gone off in the wrong direction. Otherwise, they come around us I am going to have to kill a bunch of motherfuckers with my cane when I'm old and trying to rest."

"P!  Are you telling those people your side of the story again?"  - I like this one. :)

"If you kick us out, me and Dora are going to become the Stinky Dumpling Gang, MS-13 will be shaking in their boots.   Yep, you'll see us walking down the street like in a Tarantino movie, you know how he films in slow motion?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvoKT481EmU

"Except it will be me and Dora, Dora with her looping, her loopy gait, you know how her ass goes up, sideways?  And me with my walk and we'll just be walking like that and them they'll be a close up of Dora with he googly eye."

"I know what you;'re going to do tomorrow. You'll get on your computer, try to balance yor check book adding old fashioned. You'll be missing 18 cents and you'll spend 3 hours looking for it."

"Yep, that's what I do."

"I know. It happens every time you're home.  Why don't you give up on this?"

"I've been doing that my whole life."

"Oh so this is another way you've changed I guess."

this dog is not  stupid. hearing the water run in the tub with her name on it, she trots outside and lies down in the grass (which she has never done for one second in her life) with her back to the house as if nothing is going on.  The soldier sent me out to get her and she looked at me over her shoulder like, "who me? I'm not doing anything." I picked her up and she started screaming.

The bath took 5 or 6 min, she is now walking up and down the hall rubbing along the sides??