5 days later, I still can't recover from the movie Dancing Across Borders. I can't get into something else because I am still hung up on it. I can't get un-hung up because I can't find a pc-enough way to convey my thoughts about it which I have also not been able to set aside.

I did come up with a way to introduce my ideas tonight - finally - but I will have to reference the AMF to do it and I am not sure if that's a good idea. A lot of your know him but many of you do not.

The AMF (stand for The Appealing Motherfucker) is my ex. I dated him for 3 years before we broke up.  It was after this that my husband and I got together.

There was a lot of things I liked about the AMF and one of them was his candor.  He was Scorpio with Venus, Mercury and Saturn in Scorpio, much of that stuff was in the 8th house. He had an Aquarius Moon and rising but in whatever case, he had no problem whatsoever calling a spade a spade. He was insightful as all hell, he was honest and he never flinched when it came to offering his opinion or cutting the chase.

I am thinking about him now because he understood talent - hooo boy. And I would like to talk about talent and the shadow side of talent but I don't have support for this kind of thing anymore.

For one thing, the AMF and I had conversations about this type thing so I could use his thoughts to introduce mine (he wouldn't mind, he's a Scorp) but also he always had my back when I would post about provocative things. He was into my blog where husband is not. 

My husband was also (secretly) into my blog back then but he quit reading it once we got together as many people do, who know me in person. This is because this blog disturbs the hell out of people (like Ben) who know me in person because they don't know who the hell you guys are talking to. Whatever I seem to be on this blog, it's remote from the way people perceive me in real life, but the AMF could straddle both words, and readily. Or maybe this was because he wanted to., He loved my writing, that's for sure.

Anyway...at least I got to say this. And at least I got a little closer to what the problem is.  The problem is I have no one to neutralize the acid that comes up here...and granted the blog is much bigger now.

So anyway, maybe I will wrestle this some more and get it down on the mat...or maybe I won't.  But I am aware now, that I would have just written my thoughts as they came into my head, without a moment's hesitation, in the past. And now I see why I could do that.

Back on topic, the AMF knew everything there was to know about artistic talent. With an exact Venus Saturn conjunction in Scorpio in the 8th house,I'd say he was obsessed with it. 

He'd have had a reaction to that movie as well, I'm sure. I wish I could expose you to this world but it's crawling with bugs and on that front, a number of years have passed and our society has become more full of shit by the day. Maybe those days of free-thinking and free expression are gone for good. I suspect this is the case.

Tipping my hat to the AMF as Venus Uranus sq Pluto. It's the Scorpio/Aquarius sig, see?

Now please let this release me so I can see a new film. Or let me graduate some other way.

(((Elsa)))

Cool post :)

(((((ELSA)))))

Thanks for sharing this with us. :)

I know, Caroline!  I'm still trying to formulate words...

I think it's interesting how sometimes there are things we learn about ourselves and/or appreciate in the world at large through our relationships with our exes. I've always had this theory that when a breakup happens, we integrate/take on and/or deepen certain traits that our exes had within ourselves as a way of coping with the loss. It's not exactly like carrying a torch for them; it's more like we start to embody (or deepen) the qualities we most admired about them. Not sure if that makes sense...and I don't think it's exactly relevant to what Elsa's talking about either.

For example, my appreciation for the music band, The Cure, deepened after my relationship with a certain Gemini musician. Whenever I hear the song, "Just Like Heaven," I can't help but think of him. He used to serenade me with that song and his guitar. The words were so bittersweetly semi-prophetic in the wake of our intense breakup, like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Lots of people have talent, but it's the depth and intensity and shadow that intrigue me most. I am fascinated by the peculiar traits of famous composers from the past, strange things artists did (such as cutting their ear off, and sending it too someone in the mail), how inventors become obsessed. Its like there creation is a side effect from the drug of which they really pursue but are never truly satisfied with so they express the missing part of themselves some place else. I am not sure if that makes much sense, but I enjoy both their work, and their story.

I called, Ben and I was lucky because he picked up and we talked about the arts.    He also thinks my recent money news is going to bring treachery and there will be loss. Pretty disturbing and also Venus Pluto. Beyond that, I've no words.

Elsa, did you go and win the Powerball and now you're off to the great big high roller constellation castle in the sky reserved for VIP astrologers? :)

(just trying to inject a little humor)

Did he recently take up ballet? ;) could this be the Venus Pluto correlation that is disturbing...
I am sooo kidding. I am going to Netflix the movie tho sounds good if it has the ability to make you think about it for five days.

I have been to Cambodia and seen the traditional dance form, which is very beautiful.  It requires an extreme amount of flexibility in arms, fingers and feet.  I haven't seen the movie yet but I'm wondering if that is part of his package.  He obviously has talent but the training in Cambodian folk dance must have helped him.

Is he from Siem Reap (near Angkor Wat)?

How do I phrase this? Those with great amounts of talent bring a huge amount to create the experience - and anyone worth their salt carries their giant world-sized shadow with them, the more moving and direct the audience's experience, the wider and deeper that shadow has to be. Also depending on the piece, it goes further. If it helps, the performer goes through it repeatedly and lives it too - so imagine that and release it.

They sort of catalyze a deep reaction inside...and live for it...I'm sure anyone would be happy to know you were so moved.

I liked this post.

Off to think now.

:)

~ys

In vedic astrology, talent is a karmic gift. For some reason or another you choose before birth to represent the depth or heighth of human achievement in whatever arena.

So talent expressed to its highest power -- to a large number of people centered and originating from a single individual is not only something you work out with the Gods in advance; and an expression of the unexpressed memory of other dimensions where we all enjoy a more "godlike" existence -- its a hugely complex confluence of factors that settle into that individual so that he can lead and inspire the collective.

You need:

An innate gift -- these are easier to come by than you think

Social conditioning and childhood structures that develop the talent -- this can either be a positive or negative experience; the individual can experience struggle or support; or both.

Karmic events to line up just so create a further path of expression and development

Opportunities, mentors and suppoprters; plus the goodwill of the collective which eventually will or will not let you through and allow you to express some part of its psyche without tearing you apart. 

One also never does this alone -- there's a whole posse behind the individual, depending on the mode of expression. Consider Britney Spears for example. Costume, set designers, executives, agents, songwriters, musicians, personal trainers, licensers, marketers, makeup people, dancers, choreographers, well, you see the point.

Our "famous" people are an expression of our whole collective. We admire talent because it's a demonstration of human potential. And it doesn't develop on its own ever because it's really too important. It's how we accomodate a sense of the divine, and our own certain immortality.

eva - that's really interesting. i've come to similar conclusions as someone who has struggled since childhood to hone and express my talents without self-destructing. my art reflects the collective shadow, so it certainly feels like a karmic undertaking. i didn't choose this - in fact, the full and conscious expression of it is what keeps me alive, in a way.

i remember telling a friend, who was starting to write songs but painfully shy about sharing them - that 'the songs don't belong to you.' they come from somewhere else and you're the vessel/container who molds them into a material presence, to be shared with others. songs are a collective experience. even if we write them alone, and hear them alone, we do so with the whole of our collective memory, as if we are the eyes/ears of the collective, not a closed-circuit individual.