Hi everyone,

The title of the post comes from the understand of love that's been baked into me since childhood. For my parents all high priority items were: School, education and work. Low priority items: Love and boys and such. What do you think? 

Could be a cultural thing? Where are your parents from? That's the vibe I'm picking up...

Eastern cultures tend to define love as providing for their fam, working hard, and collectively reaping success. Love in the western front can be defined more as one on one relationships, physical affection, and the 'falling in love' scenario.  

I received that message growing up.  Love comes second...if it all.  Not to be trusted or counted on.   Not saying I agree but that's what I felt.  Saturn in Cap in the 4th...secure your education and be self-reliant.   But my Venus in the 7th didn't take to that plan. 

As a kid I wasn't so much taught that love wasn't important, but shown.  It never stuck...  My Venus smash-up in Libra hits my whole chart.  In some way I've always held in the back of my head that if you don't have love, in whatever form, you don't have anything.

i could have probably benefited from that kind of upbringing :D love is important, but so are other things too!! it's important to find a balance that's right for you

little lou, I felt similar when I read this...I was taught that love was #1 but have had virtually zero encouragement of professional life of any kind. i am going to university and have been fr 13 years(!) and they've sometimes said things like..."oooh so expensive! if only you could get on at the post office"

i do not tell them how much uni costs...

my parents are highly philosophical by nature and my dad is the most well-read grade 6 drop out you'd ever meet. but born poor in an era when to go to  university was something only higher-ups did.

i have no issue with how i was raised/encouraged but see the value in balance, as you say~

Developing yourself, through learning and experience, comes before love in my book. My thought is that if you fully cultivate your own talents, skills, and your ability to survive on your own, then you can never remain dependent on others and therefore when it IS time for love, your relationships will never be based on need and therefore healthier.

The fact is though, that it doesn't play out that way in life - hormones and the urge to procreate send us on the quest for love, even if we're not "emotionally" ready. It's really more like a hand in hand kind of thing, I think. I guess there are times when you focus on one and then the other. 

I got mixed messages.  Both were important, and I should find them at the same time.  I'd get "finish college (I did) and get a good job", then get the "who got their M.R.S. degree" in the same breath.  But I thought love was the be-all and the end-all, having a bunch of Libra planets and just being young and starry-eyed.

Now that I'm older and have done the marriage/kids thing, if I were to split with hubs, love wouldn't be my top priority.  Not being a drain on anyone and being financially independent would be.  I don't want to be lonely, but I'm certainly not going to go off with Mr. Wrong to prevent being lonely.  I have cats, so why on earth do I need a man? 

I don't think love is a luxury - there are all kinds of love.  I am certain that babies who do not feel "loved" fare very well.  I don't believe for one second that all they need is to to be fed and changed - bullshit - I know how my babies immediately relaxed in my arms, they so often just wanted to be held, just held real close.

 You can have love in your heart for your fellow man, go out and give freely of your time, volunteer, etc.  I think the idea of love as a luxury is a scary one, just my opinion, or course.

It all comes down to what is more important to you.  Your first love won't be your last.  Same goes with your job, probably even career of choice.

SO what makes everything seem worthwhile for you?  And why?

I come from an Asian culture and I learned that school/work comes first. Love wasn't emphasized so much until around the end of my parents' marriage. My parents had a rocky relationship from the very beginning, and it isn't until 18 years later that the divorce happened. Since then, my Mom could not emphasize enough how much LOVE between two people is very important - as much as independence and an education. She once told me that she cannot give me riches - and the only things she can give me is the ability to become independent AND a good education. I am eternally thankful for my Mom for this.

Hey Bananas.

Like what you said in the above post...Much of this is true for me. Following my recent breakup, a wise soul told me:

Loving yourself = Nourishment

Loving another = Indulgence

Now, indulging isnt bad!!! But consciously indulging is simply more of a balanced approach (though hormones dont give a shit about that when said lover appears in your life! Ahh...control).

Nevertheless: deprive yourself of your own nourishment (soul, mind, body), and you will starve. It is hard to learn this, esp. in a culture that celebrates Hollywoods idea of "love" and champions this image/drama/soap opera as being the freaking top dog of your life. YES---its amazing feeling when love happens. But sometimes I wonder if many of us hold onto unhealthy relationships because that idealized template is so deeply etched into our brains...

 So basically, I think there are many different kinds of love, and love is and isnt a luxury. Yes, a true Libran response!

ANYWAYZ!

LOla (Sun Libra, moon aries, cap. rising)