Too bad I can't make the L's any bigger.  I have now discovered what I am going to be for Halloween...and Thanksgiving...and Christmas...and New Years...and, hell, probably for the rest of my life if this soggy worthless shit-pile of brains in my noggin' has anything to say about it.

LOSER!

Tonight I gained myself the much-dreaded written warning I'd been trying to avoid for months.  We need to ace a 99.1% quality score every month on our work, and for September I got a 98.65%.  Since it's only been 2 1/2 months since my sit down with a supervisor and manager to talk about my poor quality scores, this one gains me...(drum roll please)...my 1st written warning!!  (BOOS!!)

Granted, I've gotten written warnings before.  I had three of them within five months at my first job at Great America--and STILL made lead by the 6th month!  :O

So it's not the end of the world--yet!  BUT, I have fucked myself out of any bonuses for the rest of the year and any raises as well--in order to excel and gain in this company, you have to have a clean slate.  Which means I can't have another month below 99.1% for at LEAST 6 months.  The way I'm going, that's impossible.  I'm going to try to do my best--but I've got my good worker/bad worker entities always fighting when I'm on the job.  No matter how hard I try to do good, I always fuck something up.  It blows, but I have no one to blame but myself.

The really disappointing thing about it, is that it lands right on my favorite time of the year, going into my Halloween vacation and upcoming Thanksgiving/1st week of December vacation--IF I don't fuck up between now and then.  If I fuck up again, it might be a termination.

So, not proudly, I don the blinking neon hat that says LOSER and will go and pout in the corner...and occasionally slap or strangle myself, too.  :(

Balls! 

Oh Nutsy, I'm so sorry to see you beating yourself up like this.  I don't think anybody here would agree with this assessment!

I'm not familiar with whatever system they're using to score your performance (obviously), but a requirement of 99% seems impossibly high!  It's like they're setting people up to fail before they start.

But that's just me.

In any case, please don't let this get you down.  I certainly don't think you're a loser!

*hugs*

Nutsy, I've been through something similar this past year, and come out the other side.  You're taking responsibility, that's something.  But you know, screw the rest.  Somewhere in this mess there's a winning scenario---believe it! 

Sending rays from my Moon to yours nutsy... C'mon... fire up!

Listen... if I were you, I wouldn't fuck up my Haloween worrying about the next 6 months! You have looked forward to this for AGES, right? Enjoy first, worry later. You know where you stand (even though not so great, you KNOW where you stand) & you know what you need to pull off, to get where ya need to be. You can't actually DO anything about it right now.

Enjoy the time that's coming up & you'll feel in a better state of mind to "attack" the sh*t, when you get back in gear.

Go nutsy GOOOOOOOO!

& P.S... "loser" at work, (perhaps)... (at a job you don't give two hoots about) is only one single part of you. We all know you AIN'T when your heart is involved & that's what counts =D

((x))

((( Nutsy ))))

I'm with korellyn on this one and I've had similar experiences work-wise.  It never helped my gut reaction that sent me into loserdom, even when I knew the employers expectations were unreasonable and even exploitive, but it is something to consider.

Current employer is into these kind of mind games to some extent too...they like to make people feel like they're not doing enough, EVER.  They are simply the kind of company that thinks employee fear is the best motivator.  Of course it makes an excellent distraction from the fact that they pay well below average, give no support management wise (it's actually anti-support, as they inject a lot of chaos to every process which usually throws things more off track), and I think the biggest factor is that if you're confidence is low, you're likely not going to look for another job, right?

Bottom line, just like people, employers can very well be mind fuckers too.  That most definitely does not make you a loser! 

Thoughts that come to mind about fixing it:  what extenuating circumstances might be leading to your less than perfect performance (and note, I think striving for perfect is absolutely absurd, but I don't know how this is measured in your job).  Along the lines of...do you take on (or are given) too much work, which can lead to mistakes?  I have no idea what areas you can look at, but doing that might help find a solution and get your head out of the "it's all my fault" zone. 

more hugs

Bummer. :( Sorry, nuts.

*friendly arm-chuck*

Repeat after me:
I am NOT a loser.  I am NOT a loser.  I am NOT a loser ...

Don't beat yourself up too bad, swee'pea.  :)  One write-up at work is not the end of the world, considering everything you have to offer (and that's only what's on display *winks*).  And I know you work in data entry, where accuracy is paramount, but 99.1% seems arbitrary and unfairly high even in that field.

I think it's designed for failure, personally.  Get pissed at them instead of yourself, and let that anger fuel your focus.  *waggles brows*

aww (((nutsy))) :( Here's hoping for better days for you in this arena..for sure

Oh no.. I'm sorry (((Nutsy)))

Sorry Nutsy that sucks! But you aren't a loser (even with a small L); because you got a fraction of a percentage away from an arbitrary score at some suck-ass job where they believe in reviews every few months and written warnings. Ugh, how friggin corporate and lame! That is not the way to make people into loyal employees, that is the path of demoralization and resentment. Don't let them get you down; they are the capital L-7 Losers!

Someone on the boards said you should be working for Disney anyway, and my thought when I read that was, "Right on!"

  Maybe you should look into it, so you can tell them you are 100% sure you don't need them anymore.

((Nutsy)) - that blows!  I hope you've finished punishing yourself by now and are heading to 'the park'.

(((Nutsy)))

I don't think you're a loser, especially not with capitals. I reserve that word for, er, a very different breed of human that you will never be. : )

I also think that you will be fine, and that you will not lose your job over this. It sounds like an extremely competitive job (I'd probably cringe, and run away in three months), so the fact that you can do as well as you do says a lot on it's own. Hopefully walking thru your favorite 'park' can help lighten your worries, and remind you that you are far from a loser, and a good and smart person.

Nusty, you will only remain a 'loser' as long as you believe yourself to be one.

You are solely responsible for the creation of your reality.

You do so with your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, words, and actions.

This will always be the case, without exception.  For you, for me, for everyone, everywhere.

Perhaps it's time to forgive yourself for everything and embrace your positive qualities and talents? 

You are far more powerful than you may realize.  This goes for everyone, not just you.

Change your attitude, change your life.  It sounds simple, and it is, but there is a lot of 'negativity' and conditioning to 'wade through' oftentimes. 

Maybe watch the movie, The Secret, or follow some other self-empowering avenues.  I can promise you, it will be worth it. 

Your intention to improve and to make the most of your life will be the starting point.

I wish you the best.

:-)

(((((((((((((Nutsy))))))))))))))))))

You are so not a loser, nutsy :P If you were able to make lead with a few written warnings before, obviously there's something good about you that others can actually see :) 

I am hard on myself sometimes too. Like right now I'm getting an 87 in my English class and it causes me pain LOL I'm an A student! A grade of B might as well be failing to me. I have to tell myself to chill out and wake up a little :P 87 is perfectly respectable...and so are you :) 

(((( Nutsy ))))

Nutsy is NOT a loser. Hang in there.

My stellium wants to go there and place all those in "management" positions at a big table. Conduct a "review" of their performance.... all those who don't pass with a 99.1% get a free rope test.... at the Gallows which I put up just out back.

Geezus.... if they want perfection , why not use robots in the first place?

98.65%.... holy crap that's damn good!!!  Kudos.

I really don't understand these measurements, Nutsy!  I don't think you need one more of us to remind you that you're not a loser!  You need to work somewhere where they value you for who you are...this place seems a little bit too conformist for me!

Dude. I would like to hazard a strong suspicion that this isn't about you not measuring up or being a "loser"...only a loser to the extent that you are playing a game that has been 'fixed' in the house's favor.

You know that most corporations have unwritten practices where department leaders are expected to do whatever they need to obtain 2-3 write ups and at least one 'below expectation' evaluation/review on all employees?

This is about a company positioning itself to save money on raises/incentive payouts *and* as importantly protecting itself against future claims by employees if they decide to fire or lay them off.

Your sense of pride in your abilities and work just took a hit as collateral damage to that policy/position...It is (imho) one of the unmeasured, deeply damaging costs to how many companies are choosing to manage their HR/employee base these days. (this practice has always existed to a certain extent, but has picked up steam in the past decade...there are classes/clinics available to HR/businesses on these and similar strategies...very sad).

I agree with CP.  Being in sales and having to make a goal, that is determined by some fake formula with a year over year average, I can tell you it's politics and money.  If they don't have to pay you a bonus. it their WINNER pie chart in saving money in management.   The bar is too high!

Not that I don't worry every day about keeping my job, but the management climate can really cause you grief that isn't fair.  LOSER would be any company who beats their staff into submission.  You lose moral and it's a dark cloud over your productive day.

Maybe you'll get wind of others who also didn't make thier numbers.  My bet:  No one hit 100.

"Maybe you'll get wind of others who also didn't make thier numbers. My bet: No one hit 100."

<---- Agrees with Pixie

You people are alright, man.  Thanks for all your kindness and your hugs and vibes and words.  As you can see, once again, my Aries Moon was on a tirade last night.  I just need to focus and not let my mind wander at work, and I can beat this thing.  I've got a supervisor and lead pulling for me, and I know I can do better.  Just have to focus.  But that Murphy's Law luck can really be a bitch sometimes.  When I got the 100%s on the one (of two) systems that we work, I kind of blocked out the mid-nineties I was making on the other system--figuring the 100s would carry me through.  But boy did it hobble me.  No worries, I'm in a more positive frame of mind now.  If it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be, but I'm going to try to do much better.  This job has great benefits, good stock options, the pay is meh--but it's a stable job. 

In the weeks ahead, if you wouldn't mind sending some occasional vibes to help me focus, I sure would appreciate it! 

Thanks everyone--this place is the best! 

Yep! I'll zap your ass when you least expect it!!

BEWARE RANDOM GOOD VIBES

Sure thing, Nuts!  *sending.now*

((((nutsy)))  I couldn't add anything more positive than what others have posted here - you are loved and supported...

I know I will be sending you supportive, unexpected, kick-in-your-ass vibes - Uranus in Aries will be comin' at ya baby!!!

I'm sending you positive thoughts Nutsy!

*sneak-attack vibeys: POUNCE!*

Cool stuff, I'm ready to seize the day! 

Are *not*! Seriously, man - how can you be a loser when you rock! You *can't* be a loser! This I know for a fact, so don't you dare argue with me.

These requirements seem way out of league to me too but if that's what it takes... you've proved it that you CAN do it! 

(((((nutsy)))))

you are NOT a loser

I agree with what several of the posters have said about the system setting people up for failure......you hang in there because you are very much loved around here!!!!!!

Thanks, I feel shiny with all the kindness you people have sent my way!

Hahaha, Demelza--I love that cow avatar! 

a requirement of 99% seems impossibly high!  It's like they're setting people up to fail before they start

Carzy stuff. The more I read about US employment practices the more amazed I am that the place functions at all. Employers should try cultivating good morale, team spirit, and loyalty, not a climate which smacks of bullying and fear based on unreasonable demands.I'm truly shocked by how few rights the workforce seems to have, in any sector.

CPG what you wrote is an eye-opener, and very depressing! I'm sure it's true too :(

Nutsy, hold your head up high - and try to find some work which would be more fulfilling, please do  ((( Nutsy!!! )))

*leaves vibes under the bed*  :P

Haha! 

I was Mr. Concentration at work yesterday.  There were a few times when my mind wanted to wander, but I set that shit straight.  Funny thing is, we ran out of work after 2 1/2 hours, so we could either use PTO to go home (which I can't, because all the PTO I will be accruing for the rest of the year is already slated for my upcoming vacations), sit beside people in the other departments and learn their functions (which seems moot since they're phasing those functions out in the months to come), or taking courses in the training system.  So I finished my Excel 2003 Level 1 course (got a 75%), then took a few other courses which dealt with listening skills, public speaking, and leadership.  I was averaging 75% on those, and I think if it's slow today I'm going to see if I can retake the tests for better scores.  Luckily, since I'm voluntarily taking these, I'm not held to some high standard of 90%+...at least I don't think so.

Anyways, so far so good--knocking on wood! 

Thanks again for the thoughts and vibes!!

sounds  good  your  not  a  loser  ,  its  going on  all  over   my  job  sucks  big  time too !  they  write  ya  up  for  punching in  early    and   want to   replace us  with temp  workers  who  make less  . 

they  write  ya  up  for  punching in  early 

Whhhhaaaaaa???? 

[[ bangs head repeatedly against wall to get rid of images of US management practices ]]

This is going to be a tough month.  Today I get my written warning, approximately 5 minutes after I punch in an hour from now.

If I am below 99.1% in accuracy for October, I'll be out of a job.  I've been focusing the past few days and doing well, and hoping that my audit scores from last week are good--should be receiving those tonight or tomorrow.  And then I've got this week and the last two weeks to try and make the grade or I'm out, baby, out. 

Oh man, nutsy. I think you're going to be okay but what stress!! :(

@BP I had a coworker who got written up for not smiling enough (while working in the dining room). Crazy.