How do you discharge your disgusting stuff? For example, my husband told me stories last night that sort of curl a person's hair. They're interesting and they're important. They are real and part of life but they're also repulsive. I usually process by communicating and have a whole Colosseum on this blog so I have an outlet but I even get in trouble in there now so where do I go?  Where do you go?  I feel like I swallowed they hydra. 

Hm. Interesting question.

I do know I can fall back, lay low and process it...turn it into wisdom and seed for something lighter but I'd rather lay it out as pictured.

I am torn between being a scribe and/or being a transformer of energy.  My memory is not the best.

Is it a possiblity to write it out and just save it on your computer? I save my dreams that way.

does that mean you're not comfortable posting that type of thing in the colosseum any longer?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i33V2EcVlY

I hope what Jilly said isn't true, or that's a huge loss for all of us (mostly you!).
Angie

I watch porn.

It's your blog... if people are giving you problems in the Colosseum that really IS bad manners - why not give 'em their money back, rescind their status, and post what you like! Some of us WANT to read that stuff!!

ok what and where is this colosseum???? what's it for/about etc.????

yeah, what BlessedPlace said

me  too!

caribou the Colosseum is a pay portion of the site where things can be posted that Google can't access.

caribou, it goes in approx 3 month stages, then the whole place is 'emptied' so only the people who paid for that session ever get to read what was in there. Once it's gone, it's gone for good. The current one ends in September sometime iirc.

It was partly set up by Elsa to give her somewhere she could feel freer than in the public blog or boards, to speak her mind and post about personal stuff. It's really not acceptable that people should pressure her in there, to mind her mouth!

Ohhhhh ok thanks for explaining Tam and BP. This really sounds great, the way Elsa set it up. 3 months cycles, new people each cycle, no google. Wow. That's ingenious!

I'm pretty new here and it seems every week there's a post about someone attacking Elsa. It's been weird trying to understand because I never see it here! And then I think, ok i'm reading but must just be missing it. Or thought they were emailing her privately to attack her which to me is freaking insane and just beyond any sense or reason.

NOW I understand. Still, thinking about it....if you pay for that area, and then bash Elsa...I mean WTF is up with that? You pay to treat someone badly??  So bizarre.

Maybe there should be selective membership or only open to those who have been reading the blog and participating on forums for 6 mos at least or something??

Pisces energy.... my deep dark thoughts gradually disapates into the unknown void. Sometimes I wish the dark negative things I wrote here in the early days could disapate as well.... but it's theraputic for me to put them in writting.

I do wish I had a small woodworking shop. Making small things with my hands is quite helpful keeping the dark thoughts at bay.

i'm with carolina. i watch porn. i masturbate. and these days i have nasty good sex. last night i got tied up and had hot wax poured on me. i feel much better.

Nice, Michele!! LOL

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

Meh. That means I have to kill everyone who read my last comment. DAMN. Starting the world tour now.

Oh forget it. Going to watch episodes of Spatacus and drink Irish coffee. I've got my priorities straight.

By the way.... I'm freeeeeee.... Kids are all gone. Tomorrow, despite the hangover I know I will have, I am setting up my WRITING SPACE. Watch out world.

As I once told my beloved KEB - I have some things that, with your help, I will gladly sacrifice to the gods of sadomasochism.

I work my Mars, too, which is directly opposite my 8th house Jupiter. I walk a lot. I screw a lot. I cook (mars Venus conjunct in Cancer). I transform it into something beautiful and right and whole.

Oh, Nota. So utterly predictable!!! :)

narf.

In Cinema Paradiso, Alfredo tells the boy who is now a young man that you get to a time in your life when it's best not to say anything. I told my husband, this was how I felt now.

"I know."

He added that he just hates motherfuckers (as a reason to not talk) but that's not me.

i ground.  feed the energy to the planet and she'll chew it up and spit it out in the biggest electromagnetic field most of us will ever touch.

i usually imagine it's dust or colors or images just draining away beneath my feet/hands/head.  (i tend to feel it in my body.)  i usually feel really charged after i do it, oddly.  think there might be some sort of exchange involved.

Walking on cemetery grounds is my thing. I meditate there.

"These are a few of my favorite things." Ha!

That's a good question.

I have a big old chunk of rose quartz sitting here, and while wondering how to answer, I picked it up, and realized that's what works for me.

This isn't a little old pointy crystal one wears on a chain, it's more like the size of a fist.

Maybe for Elsa, for this darker stuff, smoky quartz?

I don't watch porn anymore...and I went an entire here without ejaculating except in wet dreams. I am a seventh house sun in capricorn in the eight house. I can be pretty cold sexualy.

For me the discharge is in scorpio...in work...but i have saturn in the sixth...its never easy...

yep I agree with BP, the colluseum is your hidden outlet as needed by that scorpionic energy and if folk choose to enter your private space, then they need to respect that is what it is. Theres plenty of boards outside the colluseum they can enjoy too!

Its like the non smoker who goes into the smoking room complaining about how awful the smoke is in here....piss off and get a life

Given that I've got pluto in aspect to all but saturn & uranus, I try to discharge using the positive aspects first.  So it's sextile my mars/merc, I go run till I fall over (and let my mind wonder over it all the while I'm out) or I go sink myself into some new learning pursuit to take my mind off it all together.  That or go get lost in a good fantasy (sextile neptune in my 5th).
Angie

My process is pretty long and complicated. It can take days. I physically write in a notebook at times but then risk someone finding it and reading it. The best way I've found is physical activitiy until I just freaking drop. Physical purging works for me. When grounding does nothing, when I'm so befuddled that I cannot even talk to someone I just have to work (or sometimes exercise) until I can't work anymore. And then, I rest, shower, and may have to do it again.

and, I have to do it alone. Talk it out? Forget it. Some of the things in my head coming out of my mouth would make me the worst person on the planet to others because they just cannot fathom that I would even think the way I do sometimes.

I write. If I can't talk with anyone, at least I can talk to myself about it or let it go on paper.

What demelza and blessedplace said!!!!!!!!

I have jupiter/neptune in the 8th, I just imagine all the things I wanna do. All the dark is left in the dark.  Good question. I guess that's the conundrum, eh?  How to bring it to light.  It's just too dark in there for me.  Don't know if I wanna look at all my shit. Would be an embarassing confession of dark thoughts. 

I go to my shrink. I had a year of therapy in the mid-2000s, and I've started seeing her again recently because I started having panic attacks. I can tell her ANYTHING. She helps me get it out of my system and process it. And I always feel lighter and relieved after a session with her.

I know not every therapist will do this for you. But it's worth a try, I guess.

Honestly, if you have any qualms about something being known outside the Colosseum, I would not post it in the Colosseum.

I'd keep an an old school diary, myself.  If it's too disgusting to keep around forever, it goes into the shredder I use for bills. 

@ Caribou Conversely, people who post in the Colosseum feel like they have more of a right to object to what she says because they're paying her for that space.

@ Caribou Conversely, people who post in the Colosseum feel like they have more of a right to object to what she says because they're paying her for that space.

Shatki is right. :)

Morgan...I have jupiter in the eight...and neptune in the 7the almost in the eight...and I have the sun there. Eventually you should confront your shadow. This is why....

It will manifest itself outside of you if you don't conciously wade through it.

and this is all you have to do.

Say to yourself

"I like that, or I want that, Or I fantasize about that...but

I don't need it"

That was professional advice given to me. Cheers it cost me alot of money to figure that out...but remember you have to conciously say I don't want it, and you have to breath deeplyg and sublimate teh fantasy or else it will dominate you even when you think it isn't.

Private blog or personal diary? I dont know what works for me, but for a while I had an anonymous blog that I basically used as a diary. I knew other people could read it, but the odds that someone I knew would read are slim so I felt safe. The thing is, I wanted people to read this stuff but it still didn't remove the ick. the ick was the fact I was kind of proud of the stuff I wrote. I mean it was interesting stuff.

like what?