It was like WHOOSH! Before I knew it, it had happened. And I regret it now. I was sarcastic. To my landlady!

I had had a pretty good day, I was in a good mood.  Some stuff happened this evening, actually something my landlady said and I just lost it. Mind you, this is a new landlady (almost a month) and I've been dealing with power outtages this week, twice in one week. Since Friday night, I had no lights, no heat... and this evening, finally, the electrician came and was fixing the problem and she mentioned how my tiny studio was warm. Cozy, warm. And I'm like: are you kidding? Sure, with the three of us in here. I mean, I slept in my PARKA last night and she was telling me how warm my place was as I face another night without heat. Supposed to be fixed tomorow.

Mars in Cancer does not get angry well. My Mars gets support from my Virgo planets and from my Satur n in Taurs, but is also conjunct Mercury and square Jupiter.  And I said to her: okay, I'll sleep in your place (meaning, her house, which I can see from my window, and has heat) and you can sleep HERE (without heat). Know what I mean? I was like: c'mon, are you kidding!  YOU didn't sleep here last night and know the temperature.

Any Mars in Cancer out there? (Mine is in the 11th house) and how does your anger feel to you?  Or anyone else have some words to say about anger, expressing anger, regretting what you say, etc... When I get angry, I feel like the earth moves and I've done damage that can never be repaired. That's probably just my Virgo worrying moon though...

I personally don't feel you were otta line. She was just trying to cover her ass,lol. I have venus in cancer and Libra in mars I am nice up-to-a-point and then watch out, but then after I am like hmmm did I just act crazy or was it justified,lol. I just asked a few people about the same thing like was I justified to be offended,lol. I over analyze being a Gem moon,merc and asc.

I have Mars in Libra/4, conjunct Venus and Pluto.  When I get truly, truly angry the world absolutely shifts.  Even if I don't, even if I'm over it ten seconds after it happens, the other people involved are rocked to their core.  Kash and I have talked about how with Mars-Pluto you have to let it out in small spurts almost constantly or it'll back up and do funny things to you, and I'm learning that the small, tiny, inconsequential (to me) flares impact other people much, much more than I realized.  So, yeah, I have power (Pluto) in conflicts (Mars), and it's something hidden to me (my M-V-Pl sextiles Neptune).  Go figure!  *lol*

I agree that you had every right to be pissy, though.  You've lived there a month (assuming, unless only your landlady changed) and all this crap keeps happening that realistically is her domain to maintain.  Yeah, flies, honey/vinegar, and all that, but seriously... you can only expect a person to put up with so much before something has to give.  And it gave!  She'll get over it.

Oh, moonpluto...I hear you.  I have Mars in Cancer (10th) .....trine Mercury & Neptune...sextile Pluto (in Virgo 12th)  and square my moon.  When I blow, I blow and more often than not, it take a great emotional toll on me....and sometimes those I spew on as well.  I worry a lot about my anger but the worry doesn't stop it.    With Pluto/Mercury both aspecting my Mars, I will express my anger in no uncertain turns....&  with  Neptune in Scorp I had it sensed long before...I always see the writing on the wall.  Sometimes the problems remain out of sight to everyone except me...those are killers...cuz you're the 'crazy' with the problem.    I've been dealing with something like this in my current apt...I've got transiting Pluto in my 4th opposing my Mars.  There is a very foul smell in my bedroom. I haven't slept in my bedroom since I moved into this apt about 5 months ago. At first I thought it was dead animal.  Told the guy in charge (a scorpio)....and we've got Pluto inside and out.  Realized when the smell did not subside it wasn't a dead animal....but likely foul, stagnant water from a leak.   Ah, it's  making me boil as I write!  The upshot of it is no one can figure it out, or they don't believe me...or don't want to spend the money and I've written (Mercury) enough messages about this smell that I could write a thesaurus devoted only to words related to putrid.    Looking back, I've seen my Mars affect home life in lots of ways. On the positive, I often fix problems myself... I was just considering today about taking the AC unit out and crawling in the small space with a flashlight to get to the drainage pipes.   Thing is, I would have management up in arms on this as well. 

  So what's up with this.  Are we in situations that fuel our anger so we have to learn to speak up and fight for ourselves?    Wishing you good luck and I hope you get your heat back fast.     

Sounds like you had every right to blow, Moonpluto.  What else can happen when people are denying what is right in front of their face?  It's their job to make sure the place you are paying rent for is in a fit state, so they are not keeping their end of the bargain.  I think we may see a lot more of this kind of thing with Saturn in Libra and Mars in Leo.  I've been on a very short fuse myself recently (natal Mars in Leo), and it is always about people keeping their word, or their side of a deal.

Thanks all of you - i will respond more detailed later, after my coffee :) i really appreciate everything everyone said. I wasnt even looking to be soothed, but i was soothed by your comments.

Lindsey, i hear you and feel for you. Mars in the 10th sounds like Yes You Can solve the problems at home. I hope it gets solved soon and u find peace. I should add "renters" to my prayers every day. Renters of the world....

Also, Pluto is Finally on the way out of my 4th. I don't know the degrees off-hand, don't have my chart, but i am hoping this will help stabalize my homelife, having Pluto OUT. I know Pluto regenerates but before it does that, it f***ing takes away.

Pluto in the 5th is a topic for another thread, i guess

I lost it yesterday when these two people at a party were being bossy and wouldn't listen to what I had to say. I was trying to be friendly yet they were still being domineering and presumptious.

I have Pisces rising so some people think they can just write me off like that. But then all that fire comes out and they're all burnt and cooked up after my tirade!

Oh man.  I've got Mars/Venus conjunct in 2H Cancer.  I understand blowing up.  When I do blow up, it's a slow heat that rises to a boil over the course of days, months, sometimes years.  Think Mount Vesuvius versus a kettle of water on the stove. I think part of the reason I'm so conscious of working out and burning off energy and MOVING is that my Mars is bound up in a pretty tricky T square (Mars in the sign of its fall, opposite Jupiter in the sign of its fall, so that's fun.)  Frustrated Mars is bad, mmmmkay?

Yeah.

I hope I won't lose internet access as I respond here! Frustrated it keeps happening. Is Mercury in its shadow, pre-retrograde?

Anyway, turns out my blow-up at the landlady did indeed make an impression as the electrician commented on it the next day, as he was fixing the wires. He said to me that i was "ridin' her"

And I had already forgotten and I said HUH? ME? Oh... yeah. I forgot...

Thank you, miss, for telling me I wasn't out of line. That helps. ANY TIME i express anger/frustration I always feel awful/guilty after. Even when it's justified. It wasn't like I yelled or anything--haha. But I guess Mercury Mars in Cancer is STILL Mercury Mars... And I also overanalyze, being a Virgo moon...

SaD:  I like that you brought up mars/pluto. Mine is sextile so, I believe, a smoother energy than the square. I wonder what it's like to have that square. Hmm, I get it by transit, of course duh, and it's rough for me. Makes me feel.. irritable, about to snap.

 Thanks Toni and Opal too, thanks for validating my feelings. My Mars is pretty well-aspected so I'm thinking a lot of my discomfort with anger has to do with the Cancer placement (and my generally soft-spoken nature, i guess -- cancer/virgo person).

I feel less afraid now that she'll throw me out for being obnoxious but I am gonna make an effort to be sweet and nice. She did get the electrician here (after some prodding by another tenant!) and I believe he fixed it all... 

OK moonpluto - you made me laugh.  And a disclaimer first..

mars cancer conj. saturn. square pluto(wide conjuct moon) opposite venus etc. etc.  So anyhooo.  You made me laugh so darned hard.  

Saying "you can sleep here and I'll take your place" is HARDLY rude or anything but funny.  If you were my renter I would have said - sure, I've got a spare bed/couch etc. until this gets fixed.  It's a wide window into someone else's life you just gave her and in that sense VALUABLE.

She may have mentioned that it was warm because she had expected the apartment to cool off faster or was surprised at how warm it was.  She also may be crap at covering her ass.  (it's been known to happen).  She may keep her own home much cooler than you think and so it WAS warm to her.

She may also have called the electrician and have been waiting and waiting to hear back from him.  And then called again.  Until you called her again and pushed things up a notch in urgency which then made HER push things up a notch in urgency with the electrician.  I TRY TRY TRY to remember that things down the chain a few steps from me may not be happening the way I assume them to be happening.

But yes, mars cancer sq. pluto does indeed shift the poor world when it blows.

I don't doubt that she worked hard to get the thing fixed-- AFTER a different tenant was knocking on her door to demand it. She wasn't gonna work on it until SUNDAY.  Two other tenants pushed her to start working on it Saturday night.

Glad I made you laugh. But I guess it was my tone (angry, annoyed) and some other things I said. It felt warm to her, also, because she was wearing expensive wool clothing (I have a good eye for recognizing quality) AND a wig (wigs are warm) and standing in my TINY studio with, at times, two other people, or three other people. Lots of people for such a small space. Or, could be menopause. Seriously. It wasn't freezing in the apartment, but it wasn't what I could call warm. I really did sleep in my down coat that first night. 

She also pays the electricity. She WANTS the place warm so that I don't use the heater much but by law, she has to provide heat, etc etc 

There are more details but I'll spare the boards. After all, it's all fixed now and the heater is on ahhhhhh