Do you think a man who has a decent relationship with his mother is more likely to have a positive relationship with a woman? Do you think it makes a difference?

I wouldn't go near a man who dogged his mother. Even if she is a first rate nut job, he still better show some deference and respect otherwise - out the door!

That said, a man enmeshed with his mother is out the door even faster.

Best is a man who accepts him mom with her faults, which he can see.  I was told many years ago,  they'll treat you exactly as they do their mother and I've found this to be very true.

Short answer..... yes.  But it still depends on his character / chart.

My mom is a Cancer and her mom is a Cancer ((been told that makes "Deep Water" by another astrologer)). Both were careful to allow me to make my own decisions (with guidance , of course) but also to live with the consequences.

My Sun is in 2nd house..... which makes me prone to being a bit "selfish". I rarely tell my mom how thankful I am for everything she's done for me. Hmmm.... maybe I should do more often.

Anyway.... if I'm not completely ignoring you (specific woman) , then it means I'm comfortable being around you. To me , if I'm comfortable with a specific person , that means my stinger is sheathed and you may do whatever you want. Hmmm.... as long as it doesn't terribly upset my personal effects.

What if a man never new his Mother?

*knew

Love the input. 

Oh, that's a good question, Melody,

Definitely true!!  My husband is close to his mother.  He has good relationships with most women.   

my bf has moon/neptune--his mother has disappeared. he is thankful for how he was raised, his mother did a great job--he knows how to treat women with respect, and i love it! i feel lucky:) i am thankful for his mother, even if their relationship is now impossible for him to understand (there's neptune for you).

Yikes.

yes, but this is a man who knows how to treat a woman. i am spoiled rotten by love, and i am certain i have his mother to thank for this.

That's awesome :)

My ex husband's mother died a couple of months before we split up. I said to him, "You'd never be doing this, and behaving like this, if your mother were still alive", and he admitted I was right! She would have skinned him alive.

Later his younger [half] brother told me my ex's stepfather was utterly horrified when he turned up back in England with his teenage girlfriend (she was 19). He was barely civil to the pair of them, apparently. My ex's parents were 'working class' grafters, and very proper moral people

I usually would guess that if a boy/man treats his mom with respect, love, and kindness, that would generally mean he treats most other women that way. But I'm also sure that it can go many other ways, too. Love all of your posts Caroline! =)

A man treats his woman like his mother yes.

l've noticed how the man would avoid telling the truth to his dominant mother and avoiding confrontation at any cost he would do the same to me.

Another version how other man had a free ralationship with his mother needing all the freedom and needing to be left allone and do what he wanted, he would expect the same freedom form me.

So l guess you can see a lot from someones relationship with his mother. The better their relationship the better he will treat you :)

yep i agree with the if he treats his mum good and with respect hes been taught to treat all women that way and more likely to treat his woman well.

Thanks, Liv :)

Your welcome! =)

Excellent post Caroline! I have a question for everyone on the boards. What are the astrological indicators/aspects which show men who have "Mother" issues? Thanks.

BTW, I am shopping at the moment. Waiting in line to try some clothes on. So I'll just read.

Speaking form a male perspective - their can be some mothers who are so over the top that no other woman can possibly be like that and threfore the man is free of his mother. Its a bit like the child who is over punished who realises that no matter what they do they are going to get it in the neck which gives the child total freedom.

My own case is that my mother was so abnormal and so emotional that I tend to go for women who are calm and easy to get along with. Which is different to the classic all men are attracted to their mothers.

Interesting perspective, crass_one :)

Just saw this post. Did anyone answer what the astrological markings are of a man who has mother issues? Neptune/Moon for idealization? Pluto/Moon for control with perhaps Mars for rage? Stellium in Cancer or the 4th house? Dependency?
Also -- What is the female counterpart for a woman who attracts men with mother issues?

Some of the women on this blog with difficult aspects have grown out of terrible mothers and prospered.  I don't know if it can apply to the men...

A man's mom is the most important female influence in his lifetime... so if he treats her badly, I can nearly bet a billion that he'll treat other women the same.

Very true for all of my exes so far...

There was one guy who treated me badly, had an awful relationship with his mother. He seemed to have other successful relationships though besides with me, long-term, so I don't really know what the deal was there.

There was an Italian kid I went with who loved his mother a lot, but he didn't treat me that well either.

There was one guy who loved his mother even more than the Italian guy, and I felt like I could never quite cut it for him due this.

There was another Italian kid who had a terrible, terrible relationship with his mom and he kinda seemed to hate women. He wasn't particularly respectful to me, never went out of his way for me for anything.

(You like them Italians, Caroline?)

FixedGds, what about a man who grew up with an issue ridden mother who still treats her "well" or in a way that isn't harmful to her?  Like, a man burdened by his relationship with his mother, but that isn't overtly belligerent, abusive, or cold, and stuff?

I guess, conversely, some of us who grew up with a controlling or somehow bad father would treat men badly, huh?  Or would it be a more important factor in relation to men?

I like hairy guys, so yeah, LOL.

Moon cj Neptune 2nd square Venus cj Uranus 10th opposite Chiron 4th and with Saturn in 12th - astrology of a 'bad' example of parenting a boy.

Can you break it down for me, Luna?

Moon/Neptune in the 2nd (absent mother?  related to values?)
square Venus/Uranus (tension with a mother that is erratic and sporadic in her love and shows that on the MC front?)  She does not give what he needs?
Venus/Uranus opposition Chiron on IC is wounding at home and hidden control?

I fucked it right on up.  Anybody help?  I don't get why this is a bad parenting model.

Doing better than me at "getting it" Dina ;)

& seeing as I just saw this thread for the first time I'll say that I have to agree for the most part... how he sees/ treats his Mum is the way it's going for you.

There are always exceptions, of course, but yeah... they're uncommon.

Also @Dina, you said..."I guess, conversely, some of us who grew up with a controlling or somehow bad father would treat men badly, huh? "

I think that tends to set up a whole OTHER ball game... you tend to go looking for the same kinda guy!! (sub conscious... trying to gain their approval- finally!?!)

This is from Donna Cunningham's free ebook 'Mothers, Daughters and the Moon' but it applies in this case to Moon in Libra:

'My dearest,How sad Mama is to hear that you're having a problem. On the other hand, how glad I am that it is bringing us closer. I love you so much, I would do anything for you. I've always tried to put you first in my life--especially since things have not worked out with your father the way a woman dreams. We women do tend to live for others--too bad people so seldom return the consideration.And so you, too, are finding disappointment in one you love. No one could love and appreciate you the way I do, and no one is quite good enough for you. Lovers may come and lovers may go, but you'll always have your mother. Do come back to me soon, sweetheart.All my love,MotherP.S. Don't return the diamond. You deserve to keep it.'

Mother Moon Libra likes everything nicey-nicey but it's Neptune superficial - god forbid the truth ever come up.  Yes, love is erratic if you don't comply with her wishes (Saturn).  Chiron on IC is Dad leaving you both behind and never being seen or heard from again.  (And being quite literally cut - with scissors - out of the picture.)  And the bit about the diamond is true - except it's cold, hard cash.

P.S.  Never ever mention any of this (Moon Neptune) or you too will be swept under the carpet which will be rolled up and whisked away to the IC.

@  McKenna  Some of us marry our mothers and some our fathers.

i want to believe this litmus about men and their mothers is true

but it has been my experience that it is not a reliable indication

@ Lona  I prefer not to believe in generalizations.  I have not met many mens' mothers, much less known anything about their family dynamics, to come to any firm conclusions.

Luna, I'm not good with metaphors like that letter (don't know why I'm such a case) so I'm going to try to break it down for myself thusly,

A mother that feigns grand expressions of love but underneath it: is jealous and resentful of her daughter's relationship, resentment against the father for quashing her dreams that reflects in resentment of the daughter, thinks that she's destined to the same disappointment, thinks wounding brings people closer, implies that her daughter is unlovable and that she gives her the best, the only kind of love she needs, and some other stuff, I don't know.

I don't have Asperger's I swear.  I myself don't know why it's a challenge for me to read some complex emotional cues (I mean, I have Moon/Mercury in Crab opposition Neptune).

Anyway, that's part of what I'm getting.

McKenna, it's interesting that the female dynamic is usually passive, meaning we marry our fathers rather than we act out badly toward our men like they did or riffing off them. 

Lona, I am doubtful, too. 

I hypothesize that many men who have a real real warm relationship with their mother are gonna have either mama's boy issues or some balancing need for an equally or more strong male figure to limit them or, um, unfortunately, masculinize them.  I was gobsmacked when my friend went out with an Italian guy (and this is not a comment about Italian men) and he was like "okay, for this date, we're going to your house and you're cooking me gnocchi."  And then he complained that it was not like his mother's!  So I'm not sure that good a relationship with the mother is all it's cracked up to be.  Plus, there, with Moon/Neptune or something might be idealization of the mother, etc.

I think that there are some men, just like there are women that I've seen and women on this blog who survive and distance themselves from their childhood.  I don't know why we're making an exception for men. 

@Luna... yep! It's freakin stunning!!! Even when I think I'm NOT looking to replace my SOB father... even when I'm thinking I'm AWARE & I'm on track? No. The guy'll start morphing eventually, right before my eyes. It's a mess.

@Dina... I was thinking about that as I was writing! You said... "it's interesting that the female dynamic is usually passive, meaning we marry our fathers rather than we act out badly toward our men like they did..."

I've found that to usually be the case. My head hurts... that needs too much thinking power!! =)

& I think we NEED to make an exception for Men here... because for better or worse, they just tick different to us.

I was just thinking the other day how I seem to attract men with interesting mother issues.

#1 Taurus his mum was a controlling and intimidating aries, she said something, he'd side with her

#2 Gemini his mum was also very controlling, tho in a more subtle way. He was cocky and arrogant.

#3 Double-virgo. His mum died when he was 6. He still isn't over this. Stepmum issues too - has moon conj sun and moon conj merc in 3rd, and saturn and pluto conjunct in a 4th house stellium. Constantly feared rejection and abandonment, and thus created a self-reliant environment so he was in control.

#4 Aries. His mum turfed him out of the family home when he was 16, even getting his younger brother to phone him and tell him while he was at college. He doesn't talk to her, but says hi if he sees her in the street. She sends cards at Christmas and birthday. Fortunately, his paternal grandma has had a heavy influence on him throughout, and calls her place home.

He treats her as a warm friend, and tho isn't affectionate with her (least not in front of me) does care for her. I'm very grateful to her for this - he is wonderfully warm and kind. He is pragmatic about his mum 'sh*t happens, but so what' and says he'd invite her if he got married. He has moon in aqua (talk about independence), opp NN, jupiter and mars, sextile neptune and sun in a kite formation. When I found out about his mum, I was worried if he'd be a keeper. But his relationship with his gran is very reassuring.

hey stellia... that's a cool story about your Aries man there. He sounds like a wonderful guy with a great attitude! It was lucky for him his Grandmother was up for it all, could have gone so very differently.

Lucky you =)

My husband had a rough childhood and a largely absent mother.  His parents both went into drug rehab when he was small, and his mom was also treated on and off for eating disorders.  He was bounced around between his dad's house and his grandparents.  She really didn't have much to talk to him about until he was a teenager and now that he's an adult they have a fabulous relationship.  In fact, she lives next door to us and we talk all the time.  She says she just doesn't "do" small children.

He's told me before that growing up he craved a nuclear Cleaver-like family with a "normal" mom.  When he started dating he took it seriously, he wanted someone to love and be with forever and didn't do the casual dating thing.  He has Venus in Capricorn, Chiron in Taurus in the 5th, Saturn in the 10th-- family and responsibility is serious for him.  I'm a (mostly) stable person and I tend to mother my partners, so I think us getting together was bound to happen.

So for him, it's not that he treated his mom badly, it's that she neglected him, but it's still a damaged relationship.  He probably needs more attention than other men, and is super affectionate, that could be related.

Hmm. I'm trying to think of the common astrology amongst the guys I dated.

The first guy I mentioned had Cancer Rising with the Moon in hard aspect. Plus Venus Neptune and Jupiter Moon.

The Italian guy also had Venus Neptune, and Jupiter Uranus Moon.

The third guy had Taurus Moon in the 7th opposite Venus in Scorpio.

The other Italian guy had Jupiter Uranus Moon as well.