Hello everyone,

OK so my story is a long one but below is the summary of it....

 It all started when my boyfriend broke up with me over a month ago because he claimed that I was too emotional and he was stressed (I may be very emotional at times but with him I made sure to not be!).

Two weeks after that, he asked to get back together saying "I love you, I don't want you to move on, I love you and my love is all I can offer you." Based on this, I agreed to get back with him and we had the best 1 month ever.

This was a man who cringes at public display of affection and was holding my hand, kissing me when we were out, wanted to spend days on end with me. He even got upset one day when I made plans to see a girlfriend and he couldn't spend time with me.

Now, 2 weeks ago, he became distant and after almost of week of avoiding me, I approached him and asked him what was wrong. He told me he was stressed, work, moving (he is leaving in a week to another posting, a position he was sort of forced to take). And then he said it - "I am not in love with you, I felt pressured to say it."

I am not sure what he meant as no one pressured him to say it, and after we got back together he said it more than a handful of times in that month.

I know he's leaving for good and I should forget it but it hurts as now I feel he said all this to have someone to keep him company and his bed warm until he was sure what day he had to leave.

I tried to confront him about it but to no avail. He's closed up, become this cold wall and will not talk about it. Even when I said I do not want him as a boyfriend anymore, he shrugged and did not respond! Help me please... I love him and it's killing me.

And, yes, he's a virgo :( and I a pisces girl

nizziek, can you please post your chart so we can take a look? Sorry you're in pain!

PS.Welcome to the boards.

Eep.

(I may be very emotional at times but with him I made sure to not be!)

Man, you sure you want to be with someone you can't be YOU with? I dunno. He's wishy-washy. My instincit is that if you get back together with him, you can be assured this will repeat. It will happen again. You will sit on pins and needles, looking for signs that he's turning again, changing his mind again and you won't be able to relax - I know, I'm a Pisces that's been there.

Let him go. Find the strength and just let him go. Truth is that if he wanted to be with you, he would be. Wild horses wouldn't stop him.

Find THAT guy.

Sounds like he's messed up. Can't do much if he doesn't want to stay with you while being "stressed out". It's a stressful time. Not being with the one he said he loved won't fix that. This is how he deals with the challenge of pursuing his goals and being in a relationship at the same time.

"This was a man who cringes at public display of affection and was holding my hand, kissing me when we were out, wanted to spend days on end with me. He even got upset one day when I made plans to see a girlfriend and he couldn't spend time with me."

Sounds like he escaped with you and now is going back to work as it were. Sucks that he can't just let it all be. :/ Virgo is the sign of the martyr and it might be what he's choosing.  And what's up with being with someone all the time. As if being in a relationship is about always being with the person. I think it's THAT attitude that messes up actual relationships imo. 

Thank you guys for the support, it's so nice to have this from people I've never met!

Kashmiri, I'm afraid I don't know what you mean :(

Luci, I understand what you mean but in the end of the day this is a guy I fell for and I believed him when he said the same, I truly believed I saw it in his behavior so now my heart wants to believe that he is acting up out of fear maybe.... but my mind is telling me to be logical and to see that I was 'politely' used... :( I don't know...

Liz, the thing is he never wanted to spend every hour with me, he changed or let's say tried to change after he asked to get back so I thought he really was in love as his declaration of love coincided with behavior that was so unlike him (being affectionate, kissing in public, wanting to spend a lot of time together when he usually is a very independent soul, and so on...)

Hi nizziek,

   Sorry to her that youre having a rough go at it right now...The only advice I can offer is that its difficult to leave a sinking ship but as Luci said: do you really want to try to be with a guy who you cannot be yourself with? Its sounds like thats a deeper root of the problem, but his rejection and shitty reasonings are just weak in my opinion and you might want to throw that fish back in the pond for someone else to catch.

  Im being pretty straight with you on this one but I just finished a day-long lament over why my recent ex didnt want me to be his woman. He exhibited the same wishy washiness as yours. Seriously: stop chasing and try to be real with yourself. Are the pins and needles really worth what you are you gaining from having this person in your life?

I don't know how people can be allowed to treat other people this way, I guess this is an example of the thread about jerk-off men.

The text he sent you seems dubious 'I don't want you to move on' he says, I don't want YOU to move on? Shouldn't it be he can't move on without you? thats revealing,  he prolly DID miss you and wanted you back but as soon as he stepped up on the professional ladder and the relationship lost it's 'back-on' novelty he found you dispensible.

Also it's strange how even after you got back together he said 'I am not in love with you' that would just make it all seem pointless, it takes two to make it work but he never sounds committed.

 Sorry to hear about your hurt Nizziek, what I have to say, speaking from experience,is that  it is ultimately less hurtful if you keep in mind at all times that men will be WHERE they want to be no matter what it takes. Along the way, there may be some who will try to sell you the ' complicated' story( and they may even buy it themselves), but just remember that the bottom line is you deserve the man who runs to you when the rest of his life feels like crap-not in the other direction. We all deal with stress differently, but I can assure you that it is not an excuse to use someone directly or indirectly.

The fact that he broke up with you once woud lead me to tell you that you should be careful of taking him back unconditionally, but him leaving you twice the way he did definitely lets me know that you should keep moving even though it may be hard not to look back. Trust me, I spent five years of my life learning this lesson the hard way; only to arrive at the liberating conclusion that you are only worthy of me if you are (consistently) crazy about me-and that goes for you too baby girl. Know without a doubt that there is something much better ahead of you.I don't know the rest of your chart but being a Pisces Sun means that you were built to work with Universal Love. Somewhere inside of you, you understand that it is not personal and that love is everything and everywhere around and ahead of you. What a blessed place to be ( although it doesn't feel so as yet);You get to check another small person-big lesson off your list. NEXT!!!!