So, who here doesn't fit in with their relatives at all?

I have it rubbed in every holiday that I don't fit in with either side of the family, both of which are very traditional (one side is malicious and the other is the last of the yuppie snobs). But I have Uranus rising, I don't fit in with most people, and I figured that out around age 5. So I don't go into every holiday expecting a bonding experience. At this point I just hide in a corner and I'm happy to be left alone and ride out the time. 

But my mom (Saturn/Moon on her asc/desc axis) is still trying to get her family to love her and they just don't care. They don't hate us, but we are not the sort of people they would voluntarily associate with were we not related (I call it "not our kind, dear"). They are barely pleasant enough, I suppose, but they don't really care if we are there or not, and they make it pretty clear that they like my uncle's relatives a lot better (they get priority on visiting, getting graduation tickets for my cousins's graduations this year, etc). Every time she is hurt like it's the first time they have ever rejected her before. Sigh. I'm thinking of putting us up on Craigslist to be adopted by a new family. 

I am so sick of hearing how the family is everything, it's your only true happiness, they are the only people who will ever be there for you in thick and thin. Because man, in my case it is a LIE and I just want to be done with the whole concept. Let's just acknowledge that they won't give you what you want, they're not capable, and move on. Family is not going to work as a concept for either of us in this lifetime.

Anyone else ever feel this way? What do you attribute it to astrologically?

oh yeah. i understand not having genuine family bonds. i'm an aquarius moon-pluto with sun in CANCER opposed Uranus. i'm the ultimate misfit in a family full of misfits. i know not to trust them or depend on them in any dire way. i do wish i could say otherwise though.

I have uranus on my ascendent and find i'm different no matter what i do. It squares my saturn so it's a great pain to me because otherwise my saturn is fairly well aspected. So i've learned to embrace it and be conscience of it. Every family has a rebel/black sheep. I have aquarius ruling my 4th so it's not been so bad for me. I have a wonderful large detached extended family who basically treat each other as friends thanks to my aquarian grandparents. But friends aren't necessarily close beyond a certain level so i've also learned that i don't really know my family like i thought i did. They can be just as foreign to me as i seem to them. So as Elsa says it's both a blessing and a curse. When I accept it then I am just different and from a different family but also love with an open heart and support people's desires for change and rebellion. 

I had an online friend who was struggling with this as well (uranus conjunct ascendent but in the 12th house). Very depressed about it. She wasn't necessarily conscious of it. Instead she was negative to the image of beauty/image she felt her family pushed on her. She was virgo as well so really internalized what she experienced as a critical family who wanted her to conform. I offered her this different way of looking at it.. to BE the rebel and embrace her difference.. she turned hippy for a while.. then went to school for art.. and when her boyfriend tried to hold her back she left him, lost 20 pounds, dyed her hair blonde and now ironically looks like the kind of person she felt pressured to become 10 years ago. BUT it was all done on her terms, NOT to simply appease her family. I think she rocks and now is my inspiration.

Now i've moved back to my conservative town.. to live with my different (ie fairly conservative) family and try to get work despite not fitting in. But by not fitting in I've stopped trying to fit in and hence fit in more than ever. The change is in me.. and hence i hope i'm refreshing to them. I bring a different (and possibly needed?) perspective.    

I fit in with my family. We all like space.

My mum is estranged from her family (since the 1960s) so I guess you can say I don't fit in with them, ha ha. Wouldn't be able to pick them off the street. 

My dad is from Scotland and when I go over there to visit I have a GREAT time because we all get along like a house on fire. Blood shows itself there. Fore sure.

So I kind of have it both ways. 

(I left home when I was 16 because it was unbearable at home). 

Oh, I attribute my family stuff to Nodes on the 10/4th House axis. 

Also Cardinal Pluto-Moon-Venus conj. Mars T-square(s) on the same axis. Capricorn Moon is in my 1st House. 

I do NOT fit in with my family.

First off, my dad's 10 years older than my mom and has been married five times. I have two brothers and a sister from him (hat we know of. There could be more). My mom was married twice, and I have a younger brother with her.  With the exception the middle brother, we're all 10 years apart. 

We didn't grow up together, we didn't grow up in the same generation. 

Secondly, my family has more issues than National Geographic. Common decency is lacking. Treating other people like Human beings is lacking. HONESTLY is lacking. Games and drama are at a premium.

They're toxic to me and I keep my distance. 

Baa Baa - always felt like the black sheep, also the only cardinal in a family of fixed. Speaking of immediate family. I always wanted to be close/lovey/emotional/warm -- and there was always a chill.

I am closest to a second cousin who is early Aries with a cancer moon.

Packed 11th house, my friends gave me the closeness i couldnt find in family -- and more distant relatives, like my cousin, know more of my daily life than my brother or sisters. Feels odd sometimes.

Jenfullmoon, i was wondering why u dont spend holiday times with good friends instead of subjecting your self to family doldrums? I mean, if you wanted, you could have a lovely time doing something different.

Jenfullmoon, My Aquarian mom's nearing 80 years old, and she still reels from the rejection she feels and has always felt from her accomplished, intellectual, ice-cold brother.   I mean, REELS.  

I've never been particularly close to my extended family.  I have Saturn in the 4th.  My parents have been supportive in some ways and truly dysfunctional in others.  I did not spend Thanksgiving with them this year and won't see them at Christmas most likely.  I'm ok with that.  I have always been the black sheep to an extent.  Turns out my sister and I have a lot in common and she's stopped projecting her shadow onto me and started being a whole person.  We talk often now and are closer than we've ever been but she doesn't live near me. 

I don't fit in with my family at all, but I know they love me - sometimes in spite of ourselves.  I don't know if my BS meter is more sensitive now or what, but I nearly got into a couple verbal spats my last trip out to see them. I've been holding my tongue since I was a kid, and NOW it gets harder?  Huh.

Which reminds me I haven't talked to my folks in a month or so.  I should give 'em a call!

OK it occurs to me:  look at this picture - does that look like a woman interested in fitting in?  I think not.

Heh, I have an Aquarian 4th house, but there is nothing Aquarian about my family except for me. Very, very traditional ramrod up the ass people. False advertising there.

Why don't I spend the holidays elsewhere? I've been harping on this with my mother (we are a package deal because she would kill me if I abandoned her for the holidays) ever since my dad died. Now, dad's side is the asshole side and they've mostly dropped us since he died anyway (no surprise), but she still desperately wants to be close to her sister, and sister just plain doesn't wanna. She's one of those ice-cold Saturn Aquarians. The first Thanksgiving after Dad died I managed to talk her into spending the day in SF at Ghiradelli/eating out there and it was marvelous. Alas, nothing else has gone well since. She doesn't want to turn down invites from her sister so we can't go solo at Thanksgiving again (that being sister's designated holiday to have to deal with us). Christmas we are forced to be alone and so far it hasn't been pretty trying to figure out what to do with her, since there's less stuff open on the day to do and Mom won't do a "Jewish Christmas."

Glad it's not just me on the freak side of the family here. I'm not a bad enough kid to even BE a "black sheep", sheesh.