Online Dating

posted 1 year ago in Dating

 
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aries419 (wall)    florida  

I am a member of an online dating site. It is so hard to tell by a picture and chat if you should bother meeting up with a guy. Should I just stick to the astrological signs that are compatible? I know there is no magic, but I don't have time for serial dating! LOL!

 
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astroboy (wall)    Santa Monica, CA  

Really hard to tell what a person is like by Sun sign alone. Try qualifying them in other ways.

 
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venusflytrp (wall)       virg-ittarius rex

you'll probably get more out of the picture and chat than his sun sign! keep an open mind. compatibility is about more than just sun signs. you won't know till you try whether or not you're compatible.

 
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Avi (wall)       Fixed Cross - Neptune veiling Sun

Those online dating sites are, by and large, completely bogus.  I have researched em a bit and been on a few, though not in years, they always had fake profiles and are geared towards making money.

 

Good luck with that.

 
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astroboy (wall)    Santa Monica, CA  

I tend to agree with Avi on that. But if you are gonna use them, my friends who use them say that you can't spend alot of time online with them. You have to meet in person as soon as you can. I could analyse why that's good advice but I won't.

Once you decided that you like each other, cut off email or text exchange and make plans to meet for a quick drink.

 
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aries419 (wall)    florida  

yeah well i am kinda leary about meeting anyone. i have heard before about meeting right away. otherwise you create this realtionship with this person and then when you meet they are not at all what you thought up. i guess it could get very disappointing.

 
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brizo (wall)    midwest   Taurus/Aries/Gemini

My experience is that they never read my profile.  They just click on the picture if it appeals to them.  So I get people writing me who live an hour away when i asked for local, people with big bushy beards  etc...

To me, it saves time to state what I like and don't like.  It irks me when people think i don't know what I want.

And they write one line statements.  Which I answer with one line statements. One guy got kind of offended, but what did he expect for his terseness?

 
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aries419 (wall)    florida  

if i dont like the message they sent i just dont respond. but you are right, most of them dont read the profile. however it is hard to people meet, much harder then  it use to be. some snub dating sites but i think going to a club to meet guys can be worse, as there is drinking and they get all pumped up for action.

 
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yochisecurity (wall)    Turtle Island   Leo

seems like aolt of people are there just to look around or on the rebound and also not very sincere about their feelings

 
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venusflytrp (wall)       virg-ittarius rex

i just want to add that one of my best friends met her husband online...for the sake of balancing out all the negative information. i've done the online dating thing before and i understand the pitfalls. but if you're feeling stuck without opportunities it's worth a try! trying to meet soon sounds like good advice.

 
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yochisecurity (wall)    Turtle Island   Leo

I also heard of many good stories ,just have to be patient and hope for the best

 
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Elsa (wall)    Colorado, USA   Planets in shy

If you're meant to meet someone, you will and it may be you meet on a dating site.  I know plenty who have, though everything everyone says here is also true.

Personally, I met a man on a dating site and ran with him for 3 years. I don't regret that a bit.

 
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Caroline (wall)      

Interesting, Elsa. I didn't know that about you.

I was on OkCupid for a while. I never met anyone in person. I tweaked my profile about a 100 times and came up with nothing of interest. It was all just creepy people trying to have sex with me. So eventually I deleted my account. It was becoming a waste of time more than anything.

 
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aries419 (wall)    florida  

Caroline that is funny as I have tweaked my profile so many times! And some guys think it is someone new and they send out the same canned message! LOL!

 
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Caroline (wall)      

Ugh, yeah I just don't have the patience for that sort of thing.

 
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daisy (wall)    The other side for now   Bouncing up the mountain drunk

Caroline do they have e love by you?

 
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Shannon (wall)    Sunny Los Angeles   Gem-Sag-Gem (zoom zoom zoom!)

I met both my boyfriends, the other guy I sometimes see, and one of my ex boyfriends on an online dating site.  (The same one.)  I consider it a success - but honestly, I've been on it a year and a half, too.  Four first meetings, four success stories, 18 months.  There's a lot of fluff and nonsense, definitely, but I find it's worth the time to peruse and filter.  

I've also met other friends through that connection (for instance, DevilishMan and his partner run the poly meetup that Pericles and I attend, and through that I've made friends) so there may be other repercussions that you don't see at first.

Anyway, I guess my point is you're not going to know enough about a person to know if s/he is the one for you just from a dating site.  But you can find out enough to know if it's worth the time to meet, and then you take it from there.  I suspect that if you didn't use an online site, you'd be meeting people in other ways, and you'd still have to take the time to get to know them and make your decisions.  There's no magic 8 ball for dating.

Good luck!  Hope the field you play is fertile

 
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Caroline (wall)      

Not sure, daisy.

 
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daisy (wall)    The other side for now   Bouncing up the mountain drunk

http://www.elove.com/

In person dating site,  not on line at all. 

 
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Caroline (wall)      

Thanks!

 
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aries419 (wall)    florida  

I am gonna check that out! Thanks!

 
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Blessed Place (wall)    UK   Sun/ Ven/ Merc in Cap, Moon in Taurus, Virgo Asc. Chinese: wood Rooster

I've found them a waste of time; but I think that's due my age - men are mostly looking for younger women, or they're too staid or too fat or decrepit for me.

But for people in middle age with little time and seeking to partner I think they are great if you choose sites where people are taking it seriously, ie not just looking for someone to get laid as I think they are on sites like okcupid.

My Cap friend who did take it seriously for nearly two years, and had to date a lot of frogs masquerading as princes in that time, is now living with a lovely man she met that way.

He recently took her away for a mega-romantic weekend for her birthday Heart They've been living together for over a year now and it looks set to last; both had been divorced, he has a teenage son

 
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Liz (wall)    Ottawa   Sun Libra Asc Libra Moon Gemini

It's both as most have said. You have to weed through the people who aren't serious.. meet the ones who want to for a coffee.. hope the sun and moon - or more importantly mars and venus - are aligned and then be yourself as if you met at a party. Definitely meet in public though. I've found meeting people there is the same as in person. Go to a club .. avoid 90% of the "just wanna get laid or grope" crowd.. try to talk to the 10% left.. in the hopes of giving a number for a future one-on-one.

I find online challenging because it's hard to feel them out.. however if they don't desire to make a play on our 2nd meeting then i know for sure there's no zing. But it's better then IRL.. I'm a bit oblivious IRL.. mostly don't want to "bother" anyone. :P Kind of anti-meeting someone.

There was one time a really good looking man flirted with me at a coffee shop.. but I was with the ex I was broken up with.. so awkward. I did smile invitingly to the man hoping he'd make more of a play. But alas it was impolite to do so. Wish more would hit on me frankly.

Edit: I know 2 amazing success stories.. one being a cap who found a lovely divorcee after years of dating and remaining positive. The other being my sister who bam got her husband right out of the gate. She does have venus in the 8/9th so that may have helped her.

 
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aries419 (wall)    florida  

i am getting profile overload on the site i am on. i dont know how to  narrow it down.  i dont want to become a serial dater.

 
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brizo (wall)    midwest   Taurus/Aries/Gemini

I'm being hounded right now, after I unhid my profile (I've been using the writing forums).  I find I'm avoiding logging in.  Everyone seems in such a damn hurry...

 
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Erradin (wall)    ID   Cap Sun, Virgo Moon, Sag Rising

I've tried a few dating sites and met up with one person on one of them and really it just didn't work out for me. Subsequently I've moved away from them. I find that I'm too critical of a person based upon a profile. I'll nitpick things about them and rule them out before even making contact with them. *shakes a fist at his Virgo moon* Too easy for it to become a meat market. If I just manage to meet someone out there I won't have that same critical reaction going on. I'm sure it works for some, just not for me.

 
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aries419 (wall)    florida  

Ok I messaged someone and asked him out! Rejection anit so bad when it is coming from a picture! He is Libra and I am Aries. I think I am sun/sun.

 
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Australia (wall)    Australia   Sag Sun, Leo moon and Taurus Asc

My brother was excited about this young blonde from dating site. He is 53 (alarm bells go off). She is in England, him in Australia (more alarm bells). She wants to work in Australia, but has no money (holy cr$p are you kidding?). He sent the money. Doh!

I found her photo on http://www.romancescam.com/forum/portal.php. Not only was he being scammed by a Nigerian Man, but the photos were stolen from someone elses website. double scam.

Be safe. be careful.

 
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aries419 (wall)    florida  

Wow so many people fall for that! I think those profiles are obvivous. I am sorry about your bro. I hope he doesnt give up on love!

 
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Australia (wall)    Australia   Sag Sun, Leo moon and Taurus Asc

Thanks Aries419, I thought it was an obvious scam too. Hopefully he can try and meet women that are in his region, so he can meet for coffee etc and check them out. Much better way.

 
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citygirl1980 (wall)       Sun in Taurus, Moon in Cancer, Rising Sign Aquarius

I can't tell you much, but the dating site I'm on has ALOT of scorpio men...Now I see why they get such a bad rep!

 
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iyabo1979 (wall)       Sun in Vir, Moon in Leo, Rising Libra, Venus in Libra

 I met the guy that I am seeing on match.com. We are meeting for the first time and he lives overseas...and I live in the states. I think that he is a great match for me. We have been corresponding for about 4-5 months now. And, we are going to meet this month... I think that dating in general is all about what you make of it... just like anything in life. The more you put in - the more you get out of it...

Even when dating someone that you met in person...people can decieve you and pretend to be someone that they are not...

I say, you only live once...

 

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