So said satori after I told her a story of repulsive behavior.

"True, I said.  "I wish I could write about that, I'd LOVE to write about it but if I do people will think I am talking about them, they always do."

 "True."

"And it is always the NON repulsive people who think that. They are the ones who worry so as you can see this is an impossible topic. It will hurt the innocent and probably not do much more then that. I wish it weren't like this but it is, I've learned by now."

"I wish I could write about that, I'd LOVE to write about it but..."

As far as I'm concerned, that should settle it.  If Pluto recently impregnated Mercury, then let's hear it!!  It will also give the non-repulsive types a chance not to take something personally.

And because I put you on the spot, if there's any fallout it can be my fault.  If your story is potent, the blame would be worth it.

well I wish I could but it's a no win for me.

If I am too vague, people think I mean them or might mean them which is even worse. I am in affect, poisoning my relationships.

On the other hand, if I add detail - well it is disgusting behavior which would start another storm.

"YUCK!"

followed by people jumping to defend the person and attack me for saying anything (attacking) and it starts a big stink which I don't want - it's Christmas.

However, I can do this much so I did it.

If you didn't email me recently to suggest I do you another favor after acknowledging I've done you nothing but favors for 7 or 8 years - so that you might consider doing me the smallest favor a person could possibly come up with if they had a million years to think of a small favor,  then I'm not talking about you. ;-)

I don't get it *tilts head to the side*

Oh well.

i wonder why that is... i always ask myself "did i do that?  would someone have seen anything i did like that?"  and then i realize i'd probably know about it more directly if i'd done something upsetting and i let it go.  but i always wonder, first.

i think maybe i'm too used to being around passive aggressive people...

Yes and those repulsive people are the ones quickly point out the "repulsiveness" in others while totally blind to their own!!! What is with that???!!! I sit there and look at them like ok..............are you for real???!!!

Ohh, I see what you're getting at (sorry for prying so directly).  The email wasn't the point.

Repulsive types seem waaaay more self-absorbed than average.

As difficult as it was to be raised by harsh parents, I guess it was a blessing to be taught "No-one in this world owes you anything" instead of "The world revolves around you".  

I remember getting gifts I didn't like much as a kid, and it was just so reactionary to thank the person profusely for their gift, because I knew I would get smacked if I didn't.  

But that has stayed with me to this day, and I am so appalled at by how many people believe that they should get it all, because they are just so fucking precious and worthy.

Repulsive types are more than likely repulsed by themselves...no matter how unaware they come off.

I think we are all precious and worthy human beings - it's the ones who are truly grateful for everything that get everything they desire. once we get over the self-loathing and are clear with our intentions. Geez...I'm really working on that one.

WhosThatLady, that is an astute observation, thank you. :)

Lady--I agree with your insight about projecting repulsiveness.  And if I may say so--your presence is definitely NOT repulsive   Quite the opposite, actually.

Well I KNOW I am repulsive... and simultaneously attractive.

I was thinking the other day that in my experience of trauma/grief you feel repulsive but it goes beyond that to a level of un-human.

Just so the compliment isn't lost, I was addressing WhosThatLady as well :-)

Dorothy, that's a good way to be. Sadly, I act like I'm entitled sometimes.

Elsa, I notice that in teaching kids- it's always the best-behaved ones that are worried about me taking their names.

 And- as far as repulsiveness goes, I think I am pretty often. I think other people are too, though. A Virgo thing? ;)

Beth, my son has great behavior and is always paranoid and concerned the bus driver is going to write him up for antics of the kid sitting next to him. I tell him if it happens, I will back him all the way to the supreme court, however in order to be able to do this / have this power, he should maintain his good reputation at all times.."because once you lose it, you'll play hell getting it back."

reputation is second only to virginity that way.  I remember my former mentor/bestfriend telling me she thought everyone's integrity had a price; it was just a matter of how high you set yours.*  she's a taurus.

*this was in the context of talking about stealing.  some people set their price at a cup of coffee.  she had thought about it and figured it would have to be at least seven figures.  :)  of course not everyone's price is calculated in currency.  some people will sell it for a good time. I think karma is the bartering system for one's integrity.

*Takes down more notes from Satori*

:-)

I think people who posture or pose are repulsive.  E.g., when they act like the suit, not the person wearing it.

Oh My!..I read the subject line and thought to myself, "I know fully well how repulsive I can be....not always, but often, and on those days every time I am about ready to open my mouth around someone, I give them a little heads up on possible (gross, non-pc, sexually explicit etc.) incoming first".

Then I read down the comments, and thought, good..I'm not alone. :)

Isn't it subjective though? I have ton's of Uranus, and I like shocking..and seriously, it is hard for me to imagine it any other way. And it least since I admited that to myself some years ago, I only attract people to me now that like to be left speechless, every now and then.

I think people are simulainiously repulsed and attracted to what I think of as my best quality.. the one I try to maintain regardless: I don't apologize for my right to exist. I want everyone to feel that they have the right to exist. So many people I know struggle with this. We all have the right to exist.  (perhaps a bit off topic?)

(((omie)))

Giving you a standing ovation! :)

Elsa, it's good that you tell your son that, because right or wrong, teachers tend to lump kids into "good" and "bad" to simplify things. I've been guilty of it myself sometimes, especially when dealing with large classes that changed frequently.

 Omie: Yes! I notice that although most people respect self-confidence, there's also a lot of distrust of it, or even of anyone who seems unashamed of themselves.

Beth, in my family we are ready to go to court at any time - to stand and be judged.

Scorp in Suit - thanks for the compliment!

THAT definitely comes off as repulsive because it denies the other person as being the center of your universe! How sad huh? :) We can't be repulsive when we are take control of our lives and stop expecting people to be mind readers. We're all here to learn. 

thanks! hugs back!

Repulsiveness is completely subjective, unless it's a quality most of society loathes, like the Seven Deadly Sins, or what's being discussed in the "repulsive to you" thread.

I know I repulse the two energy suckers in hubs' family.  I always have.  But what repulses them?  A few things.  Being lighthearted, being a bit flirty, wanting to have a good conversation.  Is any of that bad?  I never thought so, but these two wanted to engage me in the never-ending war they have with each other over whose kids deserve more of Grandma's attention, who has the better house, who has more stuff, who makes more money, blah blah blah blah blah.  They don't think they're replusive.  They continue on with their crap, and the vicious cycle continues.

Omie - that's amazing to me that you say that.  It really helps to know how others see the "right" to exisit.  My SO contantly tells me to stop trying to prove that it's ok for me to exist. 

I know how repulsive I can BE. 

I find my looks repulsive sometimes, and others seem to think I'm just having one of 'those' days; when I had a friend of mine, a photographer, take some pictures of me for possible use if I succeed at writing, I thought Keith Richards looked like a beauty queen next to the images that had been captured.  After seeing the photos several times now, I don't mind them, but it was still a shocker when I got my first look at them.

I can be repulsive in my dialogue; I'm a practiced and proud vulgarian, when the moment calls for it, so there are times when I can unload a whole paragraph of expletives and hardly use the same word twice.  Years of practice.

I think this may have been me. Er ... if it wasn't ... then maybe it's just me being paranoid. But I meant well. If it is me.

how does one know if one is repulsive? Is it based on inner feeling or on people's reaction? And then there is the question of perception. Maybe one feels repulsive but really isn't at all... i wish there were a multiple choice quiz i could take so i could know the answer to this question about myself. I keep coming up with physical things, facial hair for example. I find my facial hair repulsive. And yet the guy i'm with doesn't notice or doesn't care-- what is the TRUTH?

Being repulsive is probably a good thing. Meaning that the realm of sexuality and the realm of repulsivity are surely surely surely connected. The 8th house connection...

moonpluto--I don't know you personally, but I can bet a gazillion bucks you are not repulsive.  To me you seem very down-to-earth, honest, and kind.  Just my 2 cents.

aw thanks shell! but you haven't seen my facial hair

btw, shell, i clicked on your name, which took me to your blog, which led me to your facebook page and you should know that your PICTURES are there are available to the public. Not sure if that is intentional. You probably know that Facebook has been messing with their privacy settings -- just wanted to let you know... in case you didn't know! And you can adjust this by going to the settings section on your FB page..

Oh gosh, thanks moonpluto!  I def don't want my pics public.

BTW...I have hormonal issues and have problem w/ hitruism as well.  I found on forums and such that research has shown spearmint tea to reduce the effect of testosterone in women.  I just started drinking 2 cups a day...I'll let you know how  goes!

moonpluto!  You can tell if you find yourself repulsive when you have a reflex action of hauling back your fist or recoiling in fright when you pass a mirror.  I have an instinctive feeling, though, that you have definitely not encountered these things.  So no worries.

P.S. Even though I'm male, I have facial hair too and I hate it!  Long hair streaming down from my head, no problem, but having to shave every two or three days...what a drag.

nutsymaclewis: i feel repulsed in front of the mirror ROUTINELY. I shudder when i see photos of myself (unless i've taken them myself and keep only the ones deemed okay). 

I hear ya, moonpluto--I try NOT to look at the mirror too often myself.  I've always been that way, though. 

me too, always been that way--

I am comfortable IN my body though, with how it feels to be me, with bodily processes. But when i see a reflection or picture the reaction is extreme

I have a couple of friends who I think their repulsion extends to their very body itself, how it feels, etc. I have a theory that this is what leads to chronic constipation.