Every once in awhile someone mentions how another person got in their body space and how it made them uncomfortable.  Right away, they don't like the person and every time I hear a story like this, I hope I don't have a lousy sense of this.  I am not conscious of how I position myself when I meet a person so I really have no idea.

Do mind another person's body space?  How do you feel when someone stands too close to you?

I read somewhere that a 2 foot radius is more or less the right distance. I get very close to people, but usually only when their body cues indicate that's okay.

Yes, but it's rare when someone invades my space. If I stretch my arms in front of me, that is a good minimum distance for someone to be talking to me without invading my personal space.

I think I should pay attention, but I never do. I am very diligent about holding doors and stuff - hopefully I have some manners baked in.

I do know I don't crowd people on a bench or an airplane so this is probably okay but I can never remember to stay cognizant of it.

Here's what kills me. I heard from someone who met someone 20 years ago and all she remembers is the person got in her body space and she's was repulsed.  I'd hate to be making that kind of impression, see?

Also, it feels awkward when someone is in my personal space, it's very energetic.

I have pretty serious personal space issues. On a bus or plane, I understand there is limited space and I manage. But if someone comes up to me and stands too close - especially if they don't respect my backing up - I feel violated!

I also have personal space issues.. I don't like people standing or sitting too close.. especially if they are relative strangers. Like Alicia said the arm distance thing is good.

I've noticed it can be a cultural thing, some cultures don't have any problems with personal space (speaking about the country I was born in ..not the UK)... they like to stand close and everyone is fine with it.

I used to socialisre a lot in bars, and this was a constant problem.

Some people would back me down the whole length of a bar as I'd keep moving a step backwards into a 'safety zone' and they'd follow me! Not always men either... In the end, or quite quickly if the place was crowded, I'd actually push them away gently. Or not so gently, if they didn't take the hint.

It's one of my real horrors, having my personal space invaded like that. I get into a real panic, thinking I'm going to spit on them or I have BO or bad breath or something (or sometimes it's vice versa!)

Different people have different body space distances.  So you're gonna meet people who might make you uncomfortable if you have a large body space and they have a small one.  Don't take it personal.

I also noticed that people with small body spaces tend to tailgate others in traffic whereas people with large body spaces tend to hang far back in traffic, tempting people with small body spaces to cut them off in traffic.

Sometimes some people meet are very into the "lets hug" others are hand shakers, while others are a nod of the head. 

I am the "lets hug" person. I love hugging. So, I do respect the personal space. I just don't like it.

I'm like Elsa when it comes to holding doors, helping someone who needs it - for a short time that is.

I have to know someone pretty well to let them in closer than 2 feet though.  Honestly it's because I "feel" their energy and sometimes that's not a good thing - so it's not just looking them in the eye and talking, other things are happening I may not be ready/invite in.

My pet peeve is the checkout lane of the grocery store.  Seems like about 1 out of 3 times someone is crowding me to get out before my transaction is finished - usually 2 feet or so away.  I give them the evil eye like "get the *#* out of my space until I'm finished..Grrrrr!

Ugh! Queues... I agree, they can be the worst. Some people just like to push into you and they won't get there any faster, why can't they see that!? Airports are pretty bad too, and banks, and esp bus stops...  

I agree about feeling people's energy too - if it's someone I like or feel immediately attracted to then I don't mind them close to me: but strangers or people I don't *want* to know better - keep off!! And some people I get such bad vibes off...

Interesting point about the driving - I hang right back; I only get closer to someome if I'm on a really long stretch of single carriageway (there are lots round here) and some guy is going ludicrously slowly, like 25mph.  On a motorway I never get close unless it's a jam. There was a horrendous multi-vehicle crash on our M5 on Friday night - fog, lashing rain and smoke from a big Bonfire Night display, and people driving into the smoke and fog at 70...  several killed and around 40 badly burned or otherwise injured.

People's "mileage may vary" with me. 

Meaning, I'm pretty comfortable with my own intuition about the energy with which people are entering or pushing up against my personal space.

I can usually be tolerant of even unwelcome/uninvited intrusion when I sense that the person just isn't aware of the gaffe. (like the stranger at my front door who blurted out "I'm a *huggy person!!* as she literally lurched forward to engulf me in an embrace...GAH! Get Off Me!!)

But certain abrasive energy or people who are piercing my boundaries with some agenda (like a big man intentionally looming up closely)--I shut it down as fast and (if possible) as politely as possible, but yes--it's duly noted and will color my impressions and future interactions.

"Proxemics"

I don't like people in my space. I have a personality report from Anthony Robbins that says that people should stay 3' away from me at work. LOL

The men I worked with intentionally got in my space because I hate it. Brats! Grrrr

Yes. some men definitely do it to intimidate 

It's the modern equivalent of beating you over the head with a club I guess

@BP -- Yep, I can prove that they do it to intimidate. After my ex moved out, any time I would go to him and try to negociate some particular during our divorce; he would try to get in my face and back me down. He was a full foot taller, and way larger than me, @ 6'4", 320 lbs. It pissed me off until I stopped him one day with an outstretched arm and said "I'm trying to have a conversation, now with you there, and me here." He just threw his head back and laughed at me. I never spoke to him again after that, my lawyer handled everything.

@Elsa -- Since you're so kind and helpful with door-holding, etc., don't you think at least if you were sometimes encroaching on someone's proximity, that it would all even out anyway ? Just a thought. It's hard to be repulsed by a sweetheart, you know ?

Here's another pet peeve I have, on a similar note. I cannot stand it, when a man sticks his hand out at me to shake it. I always had been told that men are to wait for a woman to offer to shake hands first. Most men here jump the gun every time, and I bristle and seethe over it. Virgo/Mars (h.1) with Libra moon (h.2). I feel like a horrible bitch, because I want to scream "I wish the hell they'd send American motherfuckers to finishing school !!". They seldom hold doors, pull out chairs, or rise when a woman leaves or enters a room. I know that the women's movement helped to fog up those sensibilities, and it's not all the guys' fault, but man; some chivalry would be refreshing nowadays !

le_soleil - I am probably okay because if I ever do catch myself being impolite or not thoughtful of the people around me, I apologize profusely and sincerely.  My problem is that I'm from the desert and just don't know. Weirdness pops out all the time and I dunno.  My kind of people, polite and generous people give me a pass. The others, I have no hope with anyway, I guess.

Mileage varies for me too - anyone i'm fond of is fine within a foot or so but mostly it irritates me if people stand too close in public places, shops and so on. Honestly do you expect me to climb on top of the person in front?   One guy in my family has a tendency to stand far too close & corner you - makes me hellishly uncomfortable esp since he's known for boasting about his success with women & is double my size. I just cannot get comfortable with him even though he hasnt done that in years, but I dont think its just the standing too close, its the whole package, I just get a fingernails / blackboard feeling around him.

My Chinese teacher used to get very, very close to his students. Including his female students. A couple of us pulled him aside and explained that this might be okay in China (and it is), but he lives in America now and we don't want his boss thinking bad things about him.

People I'm familiar with know I like my space, so its not really an issue. Otherwise, I simply cannot stand it. Some customers at my work do this, it's incredibly unnerving to me. Then when I try to subtly lean away from them, they follow me! Alot of the time its the older men, which makes it worse :/

Caprion -- try getting closer to them. Eventually, you'll hit their "border." Also, open your mouth just slightly and breathe very heavily.

I'm pretty sensitive of my personal body space.  But, I'll rarely (if ever say anything).  I know it's a personal issue and the only time I've had to say something was after silently distancing myself numerous times without success.

With me, it's an energy issue. so if the energy is good, then the distance isn't such a big deal- but, if the energy is draining or negative, then the distance between is pretty necessary.  I think it would only be a real problem if contained within a limited space where I couldn't just move away.

@blessedwhitney -- LOL ! Good strategy !

I had a friend who used to tap me in the thigh while i was drivint when he talked. Stopped hanging out with him. Didn't feel like I needed to explain to a 26 year old why that was rude...so I just ditched him at the end of the night and told him I can't drive you home cause it's too far out of the way sorry big boy!

tend to go by how comfortable I feel with someone. if someone is repulsed, then their body would probably tense up enough to take notice.

2-4 feet being the "friendly" space, and anything beyond that "acquaintance".

US people stand further away, but are more touchy and huggy, smiley

Europeans or Asians used to living in cities with small spaces tend to get a lot closer and right in your face and body when animated

I'm very aware of this in both how I approach others (as well as how I'm received) and how others approach me.  I really don't remember anyone getting in my personal space that I didn't invite (in one way or another) to be there ;)
Angie

It depends not only on the culture,but also if you're from a town,small town,village  etc.

I read a whole book about this.There was a sketch of an Italian and Aussie talking,the Aussie being intimidated and repulsed because the Italian invaded into his personal space.Not intentionally though,in Italy that was a normal distance whilst in Australia it was too close.

People from big towns tend to stand closer one to the other,because there's generally a lack of space in towns,the smaller the town of their origin the wider the distance between the people.

Over here,we stand relatively close to one another and I don't notice it,unless you really get in my face.But I have seen people trying to use personal space invasion for intimidating,I don't appreciate that most definitely.

I tend to be a distance, until I get more comfortable with the person.

I remember there was this one guy that kept getting in my space on several occasions, and I could smell his bodywash or something. I didn't like it because it was like the smell was invading my space. It was a distinct and strong smell up close, but would have been less of a punch and easier to get used to if he had stepped back half a foot.

I think the only way I ever became aware of personal space was from working in healthcare. It taught me to be very respectful of this. I always ask permission before entering what could be too close for someone's comfort and I can usually sense where that is.

For me..eh..it depends on the person. If you are close to me and it makes me uncomfortable, I'll tell you. I don't care if it's a complete stranger. I'm not rude about it unless you are persistent. But, there are some energies that just don't feel good to me.

People I don't know, standing too close, make me feel ill at ease. I guess I don't like feeling smothered in general. I was once at a ballgame with a very overweight guy friend of mine. I liked him fine and had no problem being affectionate with him, but in those quarters he was spilling over the seat and it was making me feel very closed in. Also, he was a very emotionally smothery person as well, so I think that added to the uncomfortable feeling.

I learned in school that there are specific distances people keep which vary from country to country. There's formal distance, such as with public speaking, then there's public distance, personal distance, and intimate distance. I'm probably listing the terms slightly wrong but hopefully you get the idea. Personal distance in some of the latin countries is actually closer than America. And in places like Japan, it's farther away. So when you cross continents and attempt to stand as far away from someone as you're used to, it may make someone from a different culture feel ill at ease. I always found that really interesting.

I have a friend from India who used to laugh at Americans and their need of space. I guess in places like where she comes from, there is no space!

ah memories of people invading my space in lines...

One time an older lady from a far away land was quite literally pushing into me in a line.  She was antsy too so she was sort of wiggling at the same time.  I think she was not so secretly trying to push and wiggle me out of the way =)

Another time in the airport I was waiting to get through passport check, and this couple had rushed to get to the line and the guy planted himself WAY too close even for normal comfort, then proceeded to literally huff and puff, trying to catch his breath, down the back of my neck.  I turned around and gave him the eye...there was nowhere for me to move to...he didn't get it and I finally said - I don't know how one says this nicely - "you're breathing all over me!"  He had no idea, felt bad and stepped back a bit. But damned awkward.

Personal space for me is similar to above.  About an arm's length or a little more. If someone is quite tall this is really imporant just for the logistics of talking, as if I'm too close I have to really strain to look up at them.  So maybe *their* arm's length is the best measure?

What do you all feel about pda? I can't stand when someone is in high heels and leans on me....for God's sake...wear flats...I can't stand it...if you're going to get in my personal space, and want to be cudly, you better be surefooted...I have elbows as sharp as elephant tusks...last thing I need is to feel guilty because you landed on my arms at 20 mph.

I get really upset if people get into my body space with out my permission. If they are closer than arm's length and I have not invited them in, I get very unhappy.  Especially with the men.  I am an empath and too much of a sponge, and I pick up on energy.  I put that down to having a south node in pisces in the 8th house and a neptune in scorpio in the fourth house.  I feel things.

So, I'm at the Pisces' basketball practice with Ox last night. And there is this woman, newly getting divorced. Who comes up right behind us and leans against Ox's shoulder (from behind) and speaks directly into his ear.

hmmm..Yes, that was an invasion of space.

Dilemma. Good natured response? or punch her in the mouth?

I didn't have to say anything. He felt the tension. We turned around at the same time to face her and immediately took two steps back. He says, "I prefer you speak to my face."

lol

lucky bitch

I don't like it when people stand too close to me in lines.  I will back up a little to make them give me space.  On the dance floor, I will "accidentally" elbow someone.

I have more issues with people who lack boundaries.  I went into a shop that sells art made from wood and the guy working there felt that it was okay to TOUCH MY CHEEK and then he asked me if I was a Sagittarius.

Then there was the winemaker we met while we were in his tasting room.  I was standing right next to my husband and this guy seemed to think it was okay to start rubbing my back.  Creepy.  Sadly, my husband didn't seem to think it was a big deal.

I'm also one of those picking up the energy of a person. I like a normal healthy distance with those I don't know or don't trust. I usually focus on the other more than myself so I can go with the flow if the energy is good. So Elsa with someone like you, I'd see it as "that's just Elsa" because you don't have a vibe of being threatening plus you're always smiling. :-)  That would put me at ease and be able to just go with it. I might back up a bit but that would be my issue, not yours, if that makes sense.   But if someone is aggressive or I've given a signal to back up and they don't, then I get verbally direct and say so. Or just walk away.

Shopping during holidays is the worst. People tailgating with their carts...seriously, go around or somewhere else but get off my ass! I said this out loud to a guy a few years back. He didn't even hear me so I just got out of his way. He was clueless that he was stressing me out. Once I got rid of him, all was good. I try not to shop during holidays anymore :-) 

Sometimes I feel like people are trying to take my energy.

The driving reference in the comments was interesting. I do prefer to take a calming scenic route if possible. If it adds 30mins or less to the trip, that's ok, for short trips. Intense highway driving with 4+ lanes and massive traffic, especially if tailgaters or reckless drivers, is too stressful. I like a fair speed but stupidity or reckless driving is not my thing.

I have no body space issues except in situations where I am made uncomforatable by the person in normal terms. If I don't like you 10 feet away, I don't like you 5 inches away.

If I'm neutral, or I like you as a person, you can get up in my grill, it's okay.