Yesterday I got pulled into a meeting with my boss and another co-worker.

The other co-worker shares my birthday (though I was born in 81 and she in 53) to discuss "negative feelings" the co-worker was getting from me.

Her first complain was that I stopped and waited for her to finish a conversation with someone else before I engaged that other person in conversation and it was rude because their conversation could have been private. Yet, they were in a very public place, so this one confused me to the max.

The second complaint was that she had made me aware that a punch out didn't take on the time clock and she needed me to get an endorsed "missed punch" note signed by my supervisor. I did so and wrote "X made me aware my punch didn't take on X date" under "reason for missed punch". She said it was "giving her attitude" and felt the way I worded it was rude.

Now, the thing is, at this meeting she starts spewing things like "....in the house I was raised in, it's polite to greet people with "Hello, good morning, excuse me" before you stand there and listen to people's conversations"....and making personal attacks.

I did my best not to get sucked into them and walked out of the meeting rolling my eyes but promising to be more aware in the future.

This morning I came in to find a bunch of sensative material placed on my desk - which is in a high - traffic area. I went down stairs to inquire if I should bring it down to the receptionist area and the same woman looks at me with a snotty tone and says "Hello. Good morning. How are you?" and waits.

I just walked away because my anger sparked up hot and quick.

I very, very much feel like I'm being bullied, here and I don't know how to deal with this. I'm here to work, not to have leisurely chats and be pals with everyone. I'm here to GET MY JOB DONE and I've never been outwardly rude to anyone, so what the FUCK is the problem?

I am not going to dance for this woman, who seems to make an issue out of even the most benign interactions.

How do I address this issue with another Pisces in a way that I can stop this shit in its tracks?

eyew!

so how is your boss responding to all of this? did you have the sense s/he was pulling you in to the meeting to shut up coworker, or was there some support for this woman's perspective?

luci i wish i could see your chart...are you into posting it at all? this makes me wonder what's going on for you, transit-wise.

i have a theory about the workplace in general...that some people don't really have "a life" outside of it (good friends, hobbies, etc) and so they treat the workplace like their living room, or their own little stage. this woman wanking on about "how i was raised" made me think of this, because if i were this person, having a private conversation, and someone (you) was standing nearby i would (a) cop on that you were waiting for a reason and ask you what's up or (b) say "hey can we talk in a few minutes i'm just talking to so-and-so" because most people are able to see that means "I'm busy"

anyway i do have on practical piece of advice: this doesn't sound like being bullied per se, but projection...she may be projecting on to you, which feels like bullying but is a different kind of phenomena. i think pisces are projected onto more than the average sign, just a thought.

My boss said she was there to be impartial, and co-worker said she just wanted her to be there so someone else was witness to the conversation.

But she keeps repeating, "In the house I was raised in" and getting the point across that she thinks I'm a snotty person ONLY becuase I don't interact with people the way she thinks I should.

Honey, if I expected everyone to have been raised and to act the same way I did, it'd be a losing battle. Not that I've actually SAID THAT, but I want to.

From my perspective: this is not something that the boss should have been dragged into at that juncture. She's a busy woman with better things to do.  And AFTER the meeting was had, she did not need to start in with the crap. It was uncalled for and inappropriate and after that it  really made me feel like she's just got something against me rather than valid complaints, anymore.

How am I supposed to work with this woman who apparently plans on finding fault with EVERY interaction we have?

My chart:

thinks she's being a jackass!

But I'm supposed to watch what I say today.

definitely projecting. the "how i was raised" does it. if you can say you conduct yourself with decorum at work, the nicey-nicey bullshit is not actually part of the job description. i would make a point of addressing your disappointment, to the boss, about having to have her dragged into this. 

so saturn is transiting your 3rd house (communications). i can't see the degrees from what you posted, but is it opposing your natal Mars yet? I'm thinking too, about the Saturn/Uranus opposition. You could be her Saturn figure or Uranus figure...or vice versa. She wants to control you (Saturn) you want to be free (Uranus) to be yourself. Or she feels oppressed (Saturn) or she is oppressive (more Saturn). 

Is this a sudden turn of events (Uranus) or had something been brewing for a while? How about sending her an email (excluding caps) stating something like "I do not appreciate having someone bring their familial upbringing into a conversation about workplace conduct" or something like that. Maybe you could quickly send one to your boss before you do it saying "I don't think this warrants involving you as I know you are busy, but if you feel it's necessary I can Cc our communication"

Also, the pile-up of Aquarius on your 8th house Mercury...8th House Mercury carries an edge and many people can't handle it...(I'm experiencing this by transit right now). 

Right now it sounds like she's got your goat...you can get it back. I know you don't do bullshitting very well but maybe this gal really would benefit from a "good morning"...could you do it through gritted teeth?

Last thought: Pluto through Capricorn/6th House. It's likely a temporary relationship with this gal... 

I believe they call this a "personality conflict."

And man, I wish I had some advice for you right now, because that's what I think you want, but maybe I'm interpreting that wrong even, so I'm just not going to pretend to know how to respond. Instead I'm just going to throw out some total randomness.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the subtle art of communication and just how fuzzy and misconstrued it can get.

Something as seemingly insignificant as standing in the wrong spot at the wrong time, not saying anything when you should, making too much eye contact, not making enough eye contact, talking too much about personal stuff during professional interactions, not talking enough at all bout personal stuff during professional interactions, a sigh which is actually just a need for more oxygen interpreted as exasperation, hanging up the phone too soon, not hanging up the phone soon enough, laughing too early, laughing too late, not laughing at all, laughing when something isn't funny, laughing "with" someone but it's interpreted as laughing "at" them, telling someone "get here whenever you can" only to get annoyed that the person didn't get there when you felt it was the right time to show up, talking too fast, talking too slow, talking in too high of a pitch, talking in a monotone... all of these subtle nuances of human interaction can potentially cause undue confusion, possible hurt feelings and/or stress in relationships.

And, because I'm a Libra, let me also point out that the exact OPPOSITE can happen, where with some people, there is never a problem, always a smile, always an easy flow no matter what you do.

So, I think it comes down to energy. Some people's energy actually just clashes with us, and so the same "little chuckle" that feels like cameraderie coming from one person can feel like a big fat insult from someone else.

It's really weird!

luci I think reading up on the 3rd House/9th House axis may help. The following link is for a book on the Nodes, but the axis part may be of interest to you, esp. with your upcoming Saturn Return happening in your 3rd House:

sorry i had to take the link out as it doesn't work. 

this person is also a lot older than you...more Saturn... 

Tam, only if you can't back it up!

Is this a sudden turn of events (Uranus) or had something been brewing for a while?

Very sudden. We used to be okay friends, hang out with the same crowd at lunch, go out to the facility pool after work with another girl. (High school again!?)

When I was pulled aside and told we had to have a meeting, my eyes almost bugged of my head. I couldn't believe she had the issues she did or that she didn't just come to ME with them, but rather got the boss involved.

Very sudden and surprising.

I mean, the day we found out we were both born on St. Patrick's day, we squealed like school girls and made plans to do something next year on "OUR" birthday.

i wonder if she was so tuned in to your Pisces vibe she has interpreted one interaction as a perceived slight and now this is snow-balling. if it is sudden my guess is that if you can pin-point the starting point, you can nip this in the bud. are you up for it, tho?

So, I was just told by my boss that this person is moving up to my cubicle and we're going to have to work in extremely tight quarters next to each other.

This is so ludicris a suggestion, I don't have words for it. Of course, I'm angry. How dare these people put me in a position where they KNOW it's going to be an explosion of drama?

This is not something I can simply sit back and stay out of. I can keep my mouth shut and I can not participate, but she has made it clear that even without my participation, she will make my life miserable. Because she's done it before - taken something that I had no awareness or knowledge of and turned it into Drama Central with my back against the wall in a surprise attack.

I'm on the brink of tears and feel like I've been hurled head long into the lion's den.

I'm seriously considering brushing off my resume and looking for another job.

This is a business, right? The only thing that matters is how your boss perceives the situation. If your boss is a dramatic type who likes to get involved in interpersonal matters, then you may as well start looking for another job.

If your boss is actually a "boss," however, then he or she has far more important things to do than babysit two adults with a personality conflict between them. I totally agree with the suggestion to apologize for the boss having to be dragged into the conflict. It might be too late for that now, but keep it in mind for next time.

Make this your new mantra: "It's not personal, it's business." If you are dragged into personal disputes, reframe the situation in terms of how the behavior or activity meets the business needs of the organization or adds value to the company. If it has negligible or detrimental effects, then you are free and clear to not participate, and you have good, solid reasons.

You are both getting paid to add value to the organization and help the organization meet its business goals. I know I've said the word "business" a million times, but that is intentional as this is where the focus should be. The organization is the frame, not individual egos.

At some point in the chain, there is someone there who has actual responsibility. As such, they will see your point of view. Out-class her at every turn, and focus on your reputation, not on what she's doing.

oh man! i'm sorry to hear this, luci. it's not like you can avoid somebody you share a cubicle with. is it a permanent or temporary change?

it's hard to say what her feelings are about it. it's at least possible she may not want the environment to be miserable since she's not able to get away, either.

having your resume ready to go is never a bad idea. but i'd say there is no way to predict exactly what's going to go down until it does, y'kno?

the other thing i might suggest is to be prepared to at least try a heart-to-heart if it heats up. what i was hearing from you is that this is someone you had a friendly relationship with, liked, and was totally blindsided by her going to the boss about a problem you didn't know existed.  it may do no good, but it seems worth a shot as something to try before booking from your job.

All signs point to Get a New Job.

The impartial boss put you 2 together in tight quarters to see how you each handle yourselves, in order to decide how to proceed with you both.

My take on it.

passive aggressives will be nice and friendly until you trip their buttons. 

i worked with someone like this last year.  the only thing i found really useful was to make sure i was sure i was doing my best, and dodge and deflect criticism.  which sometimes required coming right out and telling them i thought their behavior was inappropriate and i wasn't interested in dialoguing with them until they stopped doing "x" and started treating me like an adult.

but my mars is in pisces.  yours is in aries.  though conjunct a pisces sun.  i've discovered, myself, i've been forced to take a stand and draw boundaries even if i'm inclined not to with the pisces.  mars in aries would be, in my mind, obligated to stand up for themselves... (i believe part of aries' job is to serve as an example to others that yes, they can go out and assert themselves)  when appropriate.  it just seems that pisces waits overlong to realize they've been pushed waaay too far.

and she is too.  which could just mean she's acting out her own boundary issues.

Apologize for inadvertently hurting her feelings maybe? Then talk about how challenging things have been and wouldn't it be great to get away for the weekend? Distract..

Jeez luci! A saturn/uranus opposition in the sky and in a work cube.

((luci))

(((luci))) That sucks!!  I don't know  what I would do, maybe ask if you can have a chat with her and say hey whats up??? I did I do something to offend you etc. 

I myself don't do well with the office politics bullshit . I usually let shit go until I am about to snap and then I confront the person straight forward like. Good luck with the situation.

xoxo

Oh  I really dont like it when the universe backs me into a situation of confrontation, meaning, dealing with something with someone.  But I am confident Luci that you will get through it in a healthy way.  And when you do, then you can start looking for another job!!

The situation you describe seems like the kind of bizzaro situations a lot of people are being faced with, thanks to your big friends out in space...  

Lots of great input on this thread.

Kash, I thought your astrological readings were very elegant. 

peace and love,

chami