Sorry in advance, guys, for beating the same dead horse =P

Ever since Pluto went direct again, things had been feeling swell.  As some of you know, I'm having Pluto conjunct moon transit going on.  When Pluto was Rx, I had a really hard time emotionally....so many insecurities, fears, nightmares (literally) and such.  When it went direct it eased up quite a bit.  Now Pluto is just one degree away from the exact conjunction, and I don't know if that's what's making things feel so damn intense again. 

For instance, last night I had a nightmare about my husband and I, I woke up and it was 1 a.m.  I had a hard time falling back asleep and stayed up staring at the ceiling until about 3 a.m., fell back asleep and had another nightmare....this happened two more times until I woke up for good a couple of hours ago morning.  This has happened all week.

I feel so emotionally drained.  Paranoid.  I can't decipher between gut feelings and paranoia.  Because a couple of times I thought I had "gut" feelings about specific things and I ended up being wrong...which left me looking embarrassed and like a total jack-ass.

I don't know if I'm doing something wrong here, or if it's just that Pluto is getting so close to that exact conjunction that it's intensity is multiplying.  Any suggestions guys? 

Shell - you and your loved ones just had a very close call.  Don't you think this could be it?  Do they offer any counseling at the base for family members?  You just went through some serious shit - I am not the astrology expert, just saying, I wonder if that could be it.  Again, so glad you and your family are okay.  

shell I feel the transits much stronger leading up to the exact conjunction/square etc. I also start to feel relief even at one degree past the exact conjunction/square.

Could you look ahead and see when Pluto will be one degree past your moon and kinda look forward to that day? I know personally that Pluto just grinds away at a person. ((Shell))

Tam's advice is perfect, I feel similarly to what she has said--though in the past, Pluto was exactly on the degree going direct and I already felt a little relief.

What kind of suggestions are you looking for (astro, relaxation, etc)?

I hope that you get some relief soon though, nightmares are awful! When I was younger and would have bad dreams/see ghosts/couldn't fall back asleep, my mom used to warm up a glass of milk for me and leave a nightlight on. Another thing that helped me sleep as I got older was the tensing technique---while laying on your back, begin to tighten your body starting at your toes (tensing your body) and work all the way up to your head. Then slowly release your body from the head down. Doing this a few times will completely relax your body and hopefully help you get some rest. 

((shell))

Thanks for your responses guys, I really appreciate it.

Dorothy--I'm not sure, but I really don't think it's that.  I started feeling this way like last week sometime, before the whole thing happened.  I don't know if I can explain this properly, but being a military brat then marrying a soldier (he's since gotten out, but still works on post directly with soldiers and goes on tour of duty with them)..I very much have never lived a "civilian" lifestyle.  With that, you kind of live with the fear of losing someone you know everyday; whether it be family, friends, family of a friend, a friend of the family, etc.  I hope this doesn't sound desensitized, it was a very sad event, especially since it was a fellow American Soldier.  But every day when you open up the local newspaper one or two of our soldiers (based out of Ft. Hood) has died in Iraq or Afghanistan.  Just in one or two weeks you can expect the same number of casualties overseas as we had on Thursday.  I'm not in any way saying that it was less traumatic or less important, it's just that it's so much a part of our lives around here.  As soon as I knew my family was okay (pretty early on) I didn't so much worry about my family as I did the others.  Regarding the nighmares though, you could be right, because one of them last night had to do with terrorists.  But then again, I always have those!  Thank you for your kind, thoughtful words, Dorothy.

Tam--Thanks for that advice.  It starts past my moon in January and is at least one degree past it by Feb.  Thankfully when it goes Rx in April again, it's not enough to set it back behind my moon again.  It's crazy that you said "grinding" away at a person, as I was up last night I just kept getting an image in my head of someone having my heart in their hand and grating it with a cheese grater.  Ouch!  But that is exactly how it feels sometimes.

Alicia--Thank you.  I'm not sure what kind of advice I was looking for, I certainly am appreciative of ANY advice at all!  lol.  Yes, the nightmares are horrible.  I get so drained from them.  Sometimes I wake up from dreams and I feel like I have the worst hangover.  Maybe it's my natal 12th house Pluto?  Thank you for offering that technique, I'm looking forward to trying it and letting you know how it went =)

(((shell))) I wish I had words of comfort for you...I'm close to someone with 12th House Pluto and her nightmares are intense for lack of a better word:(

Whenever you speak of Pluto's transit to your Cap Moon I am listening so no beating a dead horse here--maybe because I have the same I'm looking intently...I like to think those with the early degrees are a bit ahead of the curve with some transits, and I think there is some small comfort to be found in that.  love to you!

AHHHH the cheese grater! What a potent image.  Keep a dream journal.  It helps to analyze your dreams so you become more fluent in the dream language. The nightmares become less nightmarish when you start reading them rather than just experiencing them.

(((shell))) i know about bad dreams....with my pisces moon, i think it's just part of the deal regardless of transits...i agree with notatirem, journaling is a way to feel more in control of them...even if you only do it a few nights....just leave a notepad and pencil by your bed and try to catch them

i take some comfort in various interpretations about horrible things....my x-husband told me Turkish belief if you dream someone dies a baby will be born soon....(ok, very broad, but  nice thought).....and in general, death can signal just change as you probably know...so you dream someone dies and there is a change of some sort, maybe even a closer friendship, not the end

i think dreams of attackers often signals you feel life's stresses closing in on you rather than real threat....although I don't discount precognitive dreams and like you, i've had both so it is very confusing

a little more on this...typically changes in life will usher in a stream of bad dreams...so if you're considering change or it's  happening regardless, bad dreams seem part of the waste cycle here....what is key for me to discern if the dream may be precognitive or a warning of a real danger....if i wake up and feel, 'oh, what a relief, just a dream' then it's usually just that....but if there are other 'clues' by day that i'm doing something i really don't want to, making a decision or staying in a situation that i shouldn't be...then i can get gut feelings and signals off and on over period of time....

and yes, circle the day on the calendar that Pluto jumps over the moon!!

Yeah, when I woke up for the last time this morning, I just laid in bed waiting for either my kids or my hubby to wake up.  When I was fresh awake I remembered all four dreams, vividly.  Then by the time I was telling my husband about them, I had only remembered three.  I though to myself "I need to keep a dream journal."  You guys are right.  I need to purge it on something tangible, otherwise I just allow it to fester throughout the day.  Not so bueno.

(((shell)))

(((shell)))

on a light note, i think "not so bueno" is my new favorite saying.

So guess what guys?  I bought a dream journal several days ago to help, and haven't had to write one entry!  Haha.  Story of my life!!