Here we go with a long winding post and a couple odd questions...

I can't seem to figure out when I am being rightfully paranoid and when I am being paranoid beyond all reason! I'm Moon in Aquarius square Pluto in Scorpio. It's as if I never quite feel safe, in any given situation unless I know the people involved deeply. It's making me question my intuition.

 In the case of the guy I am seeing, I have a slew of reasons to be suspect. Something inside of me wants to be wrong because I like how we get along but I think I am being idealistic. Reality check anyone? I'm sick of being tripped up over someone unworthy simply out of my love for pining. Here is what I am dealing with....

 There is this guy named B. [Sun Gemini, Moon Pisces, Virgo Rising. Mars in Cancer, Venus in Taurus.] Since about a month ago when we first met we have spent damn near every day together. We make music together, have moderately good sex, watch movies, yada yada whatever. At first I was head over heels, and we talked about how we felt like this was the real thing. But I'm not so sure anymore. I can't seem to shake the feeling that he is not a genuine person. I have talked with him and he says he can prove himself in time but I don't have that kind of time to just be with someone I do not trust. I don't find that my intuition fails me often but I find myself wanting it to be wrong.

So now, not looking at the fact that I like him as a person, let's look at the other facts... He is someone who calls exes (who were 9 times out of 10 women who were in a relationship and dating him on the side) and his hookups alike "friends". When he talks about these relationships he places the blame elsewhere, never on himself.  The other night we were at his friend's house with about 5 peopleand I picked up on this subtle vibe. They kept making jokes about how he was saying "white" things and mocking his phrases in country song manner. (he is black, and while I am mixed I was raised by the white side of my family, and most black people do not accept me as authentically "black" for this reason.) I kept catching odd glances and hearing my name whispered between his friends from across the room, and try as I might to bring this up to him he pretends like I am insane. Which makes me feel more insane. He was flirting hardcore with one of his lady "friends" and I thought it was in my head. I snuck a look down at his phone once during that night and was correct in assuming that they were sending text messages to eachother the whole night, while they were in the same room. He's told me stories of the women in his life that have fought over him at parties... I get the feeling this dude just likes to be wanted and enjoys drama. He's got an 8th House Venus in Taurus afterall.

Basically being the possessive person that I am, I have no clue what I am doing with this flirty gemini and would like some insight, any insight, on this. I feel like I'm in a haze, Venus-Neptune gives me not much in the way of romantic clarity. Can you see some correlation in his chart to the shadiness I am finding?

How do all of you with Pluto-Moon aspects deal with trust/paranoia issues?

Here is our info if it will help--

his chart: http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?cid=tq4fileK58YOB-u1247158002&lang=e&gm=a1&nhor=7&nho2=1&btyp=2&mth=gw&sday=11&smon=10&syr=2009&hsy=2&zod=&orbp=&rs=0&ast=

my chart: http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?rs=0&lang=e&zod=&ast=&orbp=&gm=a1&sday=11&btyp=2&syr=2009&mth=gw&cid=tq4fileK58YOB-u1247158002&hsy=2&smon=10&nhor=1&go.x=19&go.y=14

synastry chart: http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?rs=0&lang=e&zod=&ast=&orbp=&gm=a1&sday=11&btyp=61&syr=2009&mth=gw&cid=tq4fileK58YOB-u1247158002&hsy=2&smon=10&nhor=1&nho2=7&go.x=16&go.y=7

hi alphayxs, i'm sorry this is causing such turmoil emotionally. i looked at his chart and what jumped out right away were two of his T-squares in Mutuable (Uranus-Chiron-Moon; Mercury-Saturn-Moon).

actually i may have got it wrong, his chart makes me feel "spinny." He is Mutuable Machine. If you counted his Virgo ASC these T-Squares work as Grand Crosses, and with Saturn currently conj. his ASC, here we have man who is wants to control (Saturn) his right to work all his Mutuable Juice. 

Plus his 8th House Taurus Venus is square your Leo ASC conj. Mars.

You are a Queen and his court-jester nature is aggravating you. The man is a circle peg which cannot fit into a square hole.

I wonder if Pluto in Capricorn, which is currently opposing your Cancer Sun, is compelling you to explore relationships you feel uncomfortable in. Perhaps your 7th House Aquarius Moon could support that...if you are up to being part of the audience when he is "On Stage."

What do you think..? 

whoa, hahaha, I was just thinking about this the other day. like that I am putting myself in an uncomfortable relationships just for the sake of exploration. unfortunately i don't think i can keep that as a stable position, it's not really enough. you're right on all counts. I can't read charts so thank you for point out all those things for me.

I noticed you both have Venus-Pluto (him opposite, yours trine). Power games?

One noticeable thing is that he said he can prove himself over time, yet does not seem to be behaving in a way that would prove anything positive. Was he drunk, or did he have all of his faculties intact?

I know what you mean about intuition, I have Pluto Moon as well. In my case, my intuitions are usually correct, but they're not the whole truth. I am attuned to the shit and need to focus on the non-shit for perspective's sake. Just FWIW in case it helps.

That may not apply in this case. His Pisces moon is pretty badly aspected, and Mars in Cancer is involved. Adding the Venus Pluto to that, do you think he might have some passive-aggressive tendencies?

Not saying he's a bad person. And also, I'm not that good of an astrologer. Just something I noticed, is all. Good luck!

Wasn't drunk! We were drinking, but casually. It was... appalling. All of his friends were quiet while we just observed them flirt. I'm out of my mind clearly.

Yes he does seem to be a bit passive-agrressive. Manipulative in a way that I am probably the only one who notices (when I pointed it out to him he waited for a full explanation to admit to it and then just blushed and said "you're the shit" endearingly). I'm probably not far off my mark, it's just hard to admit this. thanks user.

Hmmm... he was impressed that you noticed and called him out on his behavior. But that's not exactly an apology. Weird.

Ughh!! I HATE those NEGATIVE VIBES!

I don't even see a need to look at the charts:  RUN!  RUUUUUUUUUUN!

LMAO! God damnit... I don't wanna face the truuuuuuuuuuuuth!!

Did you began the relationship during the retro mercury in september ?

I'm with satori here.

xglop, yes it did.

I decided to end it so this is no longer a weight in my brain, though it is still interesting to analyze. I think I went a little haywire for a minute.

"I kept catching odd glances and hearing my name whispered between his friends from across the room, and try as I might to bring this up to him he pretends like I am insane. Which makes me feel more insane. He was flirting hardcore with one of his lady "friends" and I thought it was in my head. I snuck a look down at his phone once during that night and was correct in assuming that they were sending text messages to each other the whole night, while they were in the same room."

Life is hard enough without dealing with that shit!

Ugh, I know. I know. It's just a really shitty feeling thinking that you might have found a worthy companion and then having it all shot to hell. I guess if I would have admitted it to myself before the start I could have seen this happening already.

Eeek. now I have this same girl sending me a message on facebook telling me she's glad B found me and that we seem perfect together, and that he is like a brother to her so it's important. so I'm guessing this is how brother and sister treat eachother? It makes me feel like I am overreacting but if I am wired differently then I guess it doesn't matter the intention of the cause.

Take care, I supose he will not let you go (ego hurt) easily if the girl wrote you...

It's better to break completely and wait to see if he cares long enough for you. So the first start (mercury retro) will be a false start and the second (if) will be the right, if you feel so for sure...And wait till venus finish his square with pluto 17/18 october ! Make him wait as long you can (2/3 weeks is not so long) and that he absolutely prove he loves you really and *respect* you, don't be weak with that, there are power plays between you and they can be reduced and controlled with tenacity and will. Tell him all that was wrong because *it was wrong* and make him admit it before anything else between you...

And if he don't do that, he don't deserves you. Don't let him allow to hurt you again. A man who loves you will do it and wait a long time just to see you again. And if you already don't want to see him again than forgot what I said, it's just i'm affraid he will pursue you and manipulate...

ps : excuse my poor english, hope you understood the main meaning

Moon-pluto aspects natally? Esp if in a relationship house -- (didn't look at charts) -- that aspect (in my experience) will lead to a certain amt of possessiveness/mistrust -- esp if reflected again in other ways in the chart, esp if your chart is very fixed --

It was an aqua moon, right? Wonder if that makes it easier but...

My advice: to explore this aspect and find the high side for you, in general, above and beyond current relationshisp cuz it's YOUR aspect....

I have the conjunction in the 1st house, makes me intense. For me, learning detatchment and to try to feel the other person's experience is part of my lesson

I have seen moon in scorp square pluto and it aint pretty. It is fierce. Make of that what you will....

I stick by my initial assessment.  the gal's fb protestations make me even more uncomfortable.  if what you feel and what you think don't jibe you're being manipulated.

brother/sister?  incest.

RUUUUUUUUUUUUN! 

xglop-- thank you for the advice. this is definitely not a clean break because at the moment we are sending messages back and forth and posting melancholy songs neptune style. this is ridiculous.

 moonpluto-- yes my moon is in the seventh house. I definitely am still learning how to work with this... I am at the crawling stage.

 satori-- "if what you feel and what you think don't jibe you're being manipulated." definitely. I usually believe other people more than I believe myself so it's hard to take a stand on this. which is even more of a reason why this should be a Very clean break, which it isn't. We're even talking about still being friends and yada yada... I did find it odd that this girl did this, especially because they had not seen each other for a while yet his closest friends didn't even extend themselves that far. Kinda weird.

When I was 20 I hooked up with my first boyfriend, ever. I overlooked all kinds of things, and suddenly at 22 I woke up and realized I was in a relationship with a raging alcoholic who never wanted to have sex with me.

I'm bringing this up because of your comment about knowing its bad for you and finding it hard to face the truth. I have been there. And I was there several more times before I finally "got it." It does get easier with time, but there is no avoiding the shitty McShitters sometimes...we all get our lessons from somewhere.

It gets easier, especially if you are willing and able to erect boundaries, the sooner the better. With the alcoholic I was uncomfortable with how much he passed out...then we moved in together and he started wetting the bed. I mean, the dude pissed in my bed he was such a drunk and I STILL didn't kick him out. That's some serious denial there. I'm happy to say I won't even look twice at a person, whose drinking habits disturb me, no matter how cute they are, or how clever, or how interesting. Instead I think "There must be a cute clever interesting SOBER person out there..." 

I REALLY hope you stick to your guns. You have a lot to offer--and there are more suitable people who would be happy to appreciate you, I'm sure.

I would also point out that it seems a little strange that his friend would message you on Facebook like that at all.  Of course, not everyone operates the same way, but the only reason I can imagine for her doing that is to 1) get your trust, or 2) insert herself into the relationship in a way that doesn't allow you much social recourse. Basically, if she was really just happy for you two, she might have mentioned it to him, or much more casually to you, but the flowery message? I call shenanigans.

good call, Midara.  TRIANGLES.  ::shudder::

kashmiri-- that is one thing. he's drinks and smokes (er, tokes) quite a bit, and I've been there done-that with (most) of my previous lovers and uh... This year I'm trying to turn over a new life. I notice that when I look back on any phase where I was smoking heavily (multiple times a day) I was trying to block something out.

 Midara: Good call. He has told me a couple stories involving odd love triangles. I am shaking my head at myself, the signs are all there. and you're right, this girl has to have some angle to do that. I mean that very night not only was the flirting going on but a couple times I caught her glancing at him with this very sad, serious look on her face when he wasn't talking to her. It was intense. and then at the end of the night, right after they had some kind of quick pow-wow about something I didn't catch that they were both "excited" about, she came up and hugged me. so yes... there is a boundary thing here. and he obviously welcomes it. and right now is revelling in the fact that I am prolonging this drama for his pisces moon to wallow in. He even told me he felt like the victim in all of this, lmao.

and err... I forgot to mention that he posts alll of his feelings about this on facebook statuses, by the half hour. yup. he's a broadcaster. moon-pluto nightmare.

i think you know what needs to be done here?

you should find the courage and...dump him. but why prolong this it's going to end soon anyway. 

maybe you should give him a taste of his own medicine,you know flirt with others i think you will see how pathetically insecure he is ...his birthday is may 21st and from what i have seen gemini's born in may are probably the most horribly jealous people there are...more than scorpio they also put there partners through 'tests'  they are a nightmare to live with some would call it HELL even.but i may be bias here as i know quite a few people born may 20th-29th and they are as i described .

he has mars in cancer from my knowledge they are manipulative

and isn't gemini 8th house the placing serial killers usually have. (sorry dont mean to scare you)

oh and "When he talks about these relationships he places the blame elsewhere, never on himself. "" thats GOT to be pisces moon !