I fully realize this is an odd topic for a Sunday night, but what the heck. I'm woolgathering over some related gnarly issues and thought I'd pose the question to the peanut gallery. It should make for some interesting stories, or maybe I just feel like telling a story myself.

I would also be interested to know how you as a parent went about explaining it to little Jimmy or Susie, if you care to tell about it. I'm childless so I can't relate to that part. :)

When I was six, I was sitting in bed waiting for my mom to come in and tuck me in. She sat down on the edge of the bed with this weird solicitous expression on her face, and asked if I'd like to know where babies come from. Now, I have absolutely no recollection of what might have prompted this, none whatsoever. I remember feeling a bit nonplussed and thinking something like, "uh, sure, whatever" and said OK.

She then launched into this speech about ovum and sperm and how they meet and create a cluster of cells that then grow into a fetus... it was technical in the extreme and made no goddamn sense to me. I listened with absolutely no comprehension. Total Charlie Brown mother waah-waah-waah. When she finished, she asked me if I had any questions. Naturally, I didn't. And after that, sex was never, ever mentioned again.

It wasn't until I was NINE when I found my oldest cousin's porn stash in my grandma's house that I figured it out for myself. I found a paperback with a few pictures of some dude with an erection standing in front of a woman, but no action, and then I found a copy of Penthouse Forum. I was reading the letters to the editor -- you know, the ones that start out with "Well, I never thought this would ever happen to ME -- and suddenly, it clicked and two dozen light bulbs lit up over my head. I distinctly remember thinking, "Ohhh -- that's how it works! THIS goes into THAT and then it does THAT. Huh."

So, I can thank Bob Guccione and his fine publications for giving the straight dope to a little girl on how humanity perpetuates itself. 

I have Saturn/Taurus in the 8th square my Moon, and Pluto/Virgo in the 1st sextile Mars in the 3rd. How it was bollixed up, and how it resolved itself, all in a neat package. :D

So I guess the moral of the story is DON'T MESS UP THE TALK. At the very least, your daughter will be telling embarrassing stories to virtual strangers on the internet. At worst, she'll grow up to be a pornographer.  (I work for a Penthouse competitor.)

Ha! No one gave me the "talk". My Mother would never bring up sex, EVER.

Honestly though, Sex was thrown at me, the babysitter put porn on for me when I was 4 and I was quite embarressed.

I found the stash of dirty mags as well when I was young 

I accidentally put a Porno video on, because I was 6 or 7 and had a hard time reading the title of the video and thought it was Edward scissor hands.

One of my family members I grew up with was a pervert

a couple of my friends when I was very young would talk about sex and try to show me what it was.(i was still clueless about what sex really meant)

A little boy tried to make me kiss his penis when I was 7 

There is many more things I could say but I ain't going there.(I'm a secretive Scorp)

But My Saturn conjunct my Sun(first house) is 10 degrees away from my  ascendant.  Pluto in 12th house conjunct ascendant and trines the 8th house Moon. 

I learn everything the hard way. Sex was perverted to me in a unhealthy way. But now that I am an adult I embrace my sexuality and know that sex is many things and not just "fucking". When i found out the dynamics of sex was in 6th grade when we got to watch the scientific sex video. I embarressed the hell out of my mom when I came home that day and was talking about sex this and a womans period that and penis's etc. lol (she's a Capricorn)

Wow... porn at age 4 is quite the rough initiation. I guess though, it can be worse.

My suspicions were aroused (no pun intended) at age 9 or so. I don't remember who or what prompted me to do this, but in true Venus Virgo clinical style, I looked up "sex" in my encyclopedia and came upon the clincher phrase.

"The man and woman lie close together and the man inserts his penis inside the woman's vagina."

So that's what I thought happened. He slips it in there and you just kind of sit there and wait.

Hahahaha!!

The next day, I reported my findings to my best friend, who scoffed, "I knew that already!!"

I guess at some point, I revealed to my mom that I knew what was up. So "the talk" never happened. Thank God!

@ dina2 re: "the man inserts his penis inside the woman's vagina."
So that's what I thought happened. He slips it in there and you just kind of sit there and wait.

 ------

hahaha... I never got "The TalK" at home either. Back then, we had "Sex Ed" in school. It was very clinical, and pretty much as you state above.

So imagine my surprise when the first penis is inserted in me and there is ~movement~ involved...!!! :-D (and not just HIS body either -- mine started "moving" with no prior instruction or training -- it just knew what it wanted!!)

Nobody gave me "the talk", I learned at school, back when sex ed existed. Thank goodness for that, 'cause otherwise I would have had it at college. And my mom's "talk" amounted to STD nagging and what a showerhead is for.

I don't remember how old I was, maybe 5 or 6, I just remember having a vague idea of what sex was from watching tv and telling my best friend that our dolls should "do it."  We undressed them all and placed them facing each other, then we had a fight because she said the boy doll has to be on top for it to work and I said I didn't see what difference it made.  Then we decided to go play outside.  My mom found our little orgy and that was the day I got the technical explanation of what sex was all about.

After my friend left, My mom bluntly asked me "Were you making your dolls have sex? Do you know what that is?"  When she told me that it involved the boy putting his penis INSIDE the girl, my mind was flooded with images.  I was already aware that boys "peed from there."  I asked my mom what would happen if the boy pees inside of the girl, she said "oh, he wouldnt do that."  But I was pretty sure it happened more often than she knew about or was willing to admit.

My saturn is sandwiched tight between my sun and Jupiter. 

I learned it all in an all-girl traditional Catholic school and was told that if you sit right next to a man you'll get pregnant.

W T F????????

Since I grew up with two brothers and I had a dad, I didn't think there was ANY WAY I could get pregnant by just sitting next to them! I decided to confirm this by doing book research (hahaha!)... And that's when I found out....

I have Pluto in my 7th aspected by the Moon (square) and sextiled by Mars.

I have Saturn in 6th in Virgo trined by Venus, sextiled by the Moon and squared by Neptune. Whee.

I learned about sex in a really shady way.  I was 6 and I had a friend who was older than me.  She was weird.  She told me about it.  She also told me about menstruation and I was like, "You're shitting me!"  It was quite Saturn Pluto.  I was somehow bothered/scarred a little by her.

No one had a talk with me except for a don't do it speech.

I believe I looked it up in the encyclopedia. Then when I was ten or so, I stumbled across a Dr. Ruth Book at my aunt's house while I was staying for the week.

We had basic sex ed in 8th grade.

The real eye opener was when I was 12 and babysitting and found 'the joy of sex' book on their bookshelf.  That's when I learned the mechanics of it all.

leo saturn in the third house and libra pluto in the 4th.

I learned about sex from Larry Flynt and Hugh Hefner at the ripe age of 6 finding the stash of magazines like some of you did.  Not too long after that I found the porn stash and really learned about sex!  I guess some adults think kids don't look in bathroom cabinets and such.  I know if my hubby had magazines and videos they's be hidden in a safe with a supper-secret code, burried in the back yard under the grill or something; because I don't want my kiddies to be exposed to that the way I was and at such a young age.

I never experienced "the talk".  All my mom ever said was "You better not get pregnant!"

I imagine I'll try to have an adult conversation with my girls when they ask, or get old enough.  I'll try not to make them feel stupid or ashamed, but I definitely will try to instill certain values that will hopefully yield them from having sex at a young age/with numerous people/unprotected/whatever the kids are doing these days.

One day my brother and I were outside in our back yard and our dogs were "doing it" and they were locked up....he looked at me and said, "you want to know how grown-ups do it...there it is!"....I was so grossed out and had a hard time looking at my parents without thinking of the dogs for a long time...yuck!

Farm girl here so I had the early barnyard examples.

I can remember being quite young and a girl friend and I thinking that if you rubbed butt to butt you were having sex.  Where we got this idea I don't know, but we couldn't of been more than four or five and talking about it.

Mom was a public health nurse so I got the official chat at age 10 complete w/sample menstrual pads and charts and such.  She claimed she was practicing for her work.  Yeah, unhuh.  Right Mom.

Before that I had of course researched it all in the science and health textbooks that were all around the house.  And I had all the good info on the weird and kinkier brands of sex fetishes and such as were in all the psychology case studies I inhaled like candy back then!  No early porn sightings, mine was all scientific based.  I do remember reading Dr. Reuben's literal gold mine -- "Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex *but Were Afraid to Ask" at an early age. 

Those of you of my generation, do you remember that gold cover on that book?  I can remember sneaking it out of the hall bookshelf and taking it into my room to read at night under the covers with the flashlight. 

My mum read us "Preparing for Adolescence" by James Dobson (Focus on the Family preacher)...every morning at breakfast before she read us the Bible...I was 6. I remember being very, very irritated and feeling like I didn't need to know. Plus, every day before school for months sucked. I was 10 when I learned what rape was and that was traumatic to hear about, there was absolutely no cushion. I remember my first job ever was picking potatoes at harvest, I think I was 11. My friend and I showed each other our just-starting public hair and then dissected a Judy Blume Q+A book for months after that.

Dina, same thing about periods for me...I have 3 older sisters and they taught by way of "Lets make Barbie have her period" and I was like "What's that?" I was about 7...until I was 11 I thought I'd hit 13 and start bleeding and then be bled until I died. Needless to say I was very concerned and relieved when I realized it'd just last for 40 years, lol

Oh, Saturn in the 8th, Pluto in the 10th.

Funny story about those Judy Blume books...

I was given the set for Christmas during 4th grade -- Blubber, Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, etc -- and I noticed that one had been taken out. My mother had taken out "Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret," thinking that the subject of menstruation might upset me. 

What she *didn't* do was take out the book about the 13 year old boy who was entering puberty and carried a raincoat every day to hide his spontaneous erections. XD XD This boy had a friend who shoplifted and gave him books with all the "good" parts paperclipped. He peeped on a 16 year old girl who, for some reason, undressed in front of the window. It was a pretty mature book, speaking of wet dreams and anxiety attacks and so forth.

So AGAIN she dealt with the chemistry but COMPLETELY missed the actual life-and-sex component. *facepalm*

I eventually got the Margaret book and I never told my mom about the other one. :)

I have the generational Pluto-Uranus conjunction in Virgo in my 5th house and I think it may be reflected in how I have approached sex ed with my daughter.  My own parents were calm and informative about sex for reproduction AND were careless with their porn, but what they didn't do was give me any kind of good basis for healthy female sexuality -- the fun kind.  They never mentioned the word clitoris to me, for example -- I learned it from a book when I was twelve or so.  So I (and here I'm going to let my freak flag fly, as my brother would say) was for damned sure going to teach my daughter the words vulva, clitoris, and vagina in THAT order, as soon as she was able to talk.  I made up a silly song about vulvas that I sang to the tune of "Good Morning Starshine" whenever I changed her diaper and after she was potty trained.  When she asked me what her clitoris was for, I said that it was unique among human organs -- its sole purpose is to make you feel good. She learned 'clitoris' well before 'vagina' and for quite a while would ask, what's that part on the inside again? I've explained orgasm, oral sex, gay and lesbian sex -- anything that she's asked me about (and fortunately she communicates her curiosity freely) I've answered.  She knows about condoms and recently made up a joke that just cracks her up: Never knit your own condom.  She's ten.

neva i read that book...what's the title again??

qasseia it's nice to hear of a girl being able to talk to her mum.

about 5 years ago my own mother decided to take charge of her sex life (in her 60s, go mum!!!)

she's deaf in one ear so often talks too loudly. we were on a walk on the waterfront and she yells "did you know there are two kinds of orgasms, a vaginal one and a clitoral one?!?!?"

"Uh yes"

"oh really? do you have them?"

"Uh yeah but i don't really want to talk about it, can you keep it DOWN?"

"Oh i don't care who hears me! Maybe someone will learn something!"

ha ha 

(she is an aries) 

 i am very proud of my mother. very, very, very proud. 

Haha Kash!  That is too funny.

Kash, I read about your mom in another thread. I'm very proud of her, too. 

I got a pretty thorough chat when I was four and mom was having a hysterectomy.  The talk was actually for my sister's benefit (she was 9), but I got to sit in.  Borrowed a book from a friend of the family who taught teens about safe sex when I was about 6, it was very large and exahustive, covering everything from the physical to differing orientations to masturbation to fetishes.  Found my dad's only porn tape not too long after.  I dunno, it seems like I've always known about sex...  I can distinctly remember masturbating when I was very young, three or so.  It's just one of those things.  *shrug*

Mars/Venus/Pluto conjunct, hits everything in my chart.

@kashmiri: "Then Again, Maybe I Won't" Written in 1971, I think.

My mom tried to have the talk when I was 8.  I promptly informed her that I'd already found a book at the library that told me all about it, and would she like to read it?

*chuckle*

Sun/Saturn/Asc 1st, trine Pluto in Virgo in the 5th

Ha, I didn't get the "talk" from my Aries dad or my Virgo mom.  I had Childcraft books (didn't make the connection between sex and having a baby), the eighth grade sex ed class (which made the connection for me), randomly looking at the medical books my grandparents left around (that precipitated some handwringing) and when I asked my mother about some puberty stuff, she said she didn't know and gave me a booklet.  And  thank goodness for the internet -- now that was an education. 

The first guy I dated my dad said "We need to talk to you", left the room, and my mother explained to me that the family honor depended on me being perceived as a virgin, so I couldn't see my boyfriend during the summer. 

 I have Pluto in the 4th squaring Mars and the Sun, Saturn squaring the Moon and Neptune, and Saturn trining Mars and the Sun. 

when i was 6 I asked an innocent question where do babies come from;

my mother's response; "a man and woman sleep together"

eeek, i thought, never fall asleep near my father!

I was too young to "look it up"

then when I was 15 or 16; my mother challenged me, something like "oh yeah you know so much, what comes first climax or orgasm?"

what do you say to that? no conversation. shut down.

by then I was reading plenty.

My mom put a pamphlet on my bed when I wasn't there. Information (Gemini Sun) devoid of emotional content (Capricorn Moon).

I'm really amused by the legs on this thread.  All your stories are immensely interesting. 

I kind of wish that I had kids to inform about sex, love, plumbing, etc. I have *no* problem speaking frankly about this stuff. Kid would probably tell me to stop it and shut up.