How do people with natal Pluto aspects to their Moon, Venus or 7th house deal with this?  

Hey Lunalie,

I have Pluto squaring my Sun, which isn't exactly what you asked, but it's pretty related.  I have issues with trust.  My dad also has Sun square Pluto and the two of us in the same room: power struggle!  Criticism!  Aggression!  My dad's a good guy but he has lots of inner tensions and they were often taken out on me.  We both always wanted the last word and to be right.  There was jealousy, anger, all sorts of negative things and I internalized it all, so I too have the inner tensions. 

Because of all this, my relationships often lacked a certain degree of trust since I am always waiting for the criticism to start, thinking it's there even when it's not.  Often I just removed myself from the relationships and pulled a disappearing act, later returning with 'such a fabulous life and everything is wonderful, you can't hurt me.'  Went on for years before I even knew what I was doing.

Anyway, short story long, I deal with it by immediately recognizing my feelings of discomfort as they arise.  Then, I voice what I'm feeling.  I didn't voice it for a while, though, because I needed a lot of time to reflect on WHY I wasn't trusting people (insecurity, sometimes unwarranted suspicsion).  My friends were understanding and helped me through it.  Romantic relationships progressed.  I'm sorry to say I still haven't completely figured this out.  I'll get there eventually!

I was thinking alot about trust issues today Lunalie.  I was reviewing the points of 'no-return' in past relationships...when trust was broken.  Pluto trine Venus in the 7th.

Not sure I have any answers on how best to deal with it.  Maybe for me it is a matter of reflection (pluto in virgo in the 12th) ....   weighing in the pain...analyzing the reasons why the trust was broken.   I had a therapist once tell me that being the type of woman I am....being able to intuit or get close to a man's psyche....which I do naturally, not always intentionally....could be very uncomfortable for some people and by breaking trust they were creating a distance.  I didn't really know what to do with this information at the time she told me this (in my early 30's) since I never tried to get too close  psychic...ly  (is that a word?!!) ... It was just my natural way.  Now I try to understand that my unintentional intensity may create a need in others to distance themselves through acts of unkindness or breaking trust, etc.    However,   I think I cannot be less of who I am....

 Is any of this ringing a bell with what you were thinking about?

lindsey that makes sense to me. i'm taking you on board today

I've a natal Cardinal T-square (Pluto in Libra/10th, Venus in Aries/4th, Moon in Capricorn/1st) 

my issues with trust are with myself, not with my partner. 

I have the Pluto/Moon square too -- I never thought I had issues with trust. Someone actually had to point out to me, that I don't easily let people into my world. I will befriend almost anyone, but a relationship with someone where trust is involved is much harder to come by with me.

It's complicated. I have Neptune on my Mercury and can't explain myself all that well right now. :)

Lindsey, I too have Pluto trine Venus, and you voiced some of my experiences quite well.

Lunalie,

here's an interesting article on Pluto aspecting personal planets:

http://chirotic.wordpress.com/2009/04/28/pluto-and-the-personal-planets-revisited/

And Lindsey, Venus-Pluto article for you:

http://chirotic.wordpress.com/2009/04/08/venus-pluto-love-and-survival/

The other article links to the Venus Pluto one, as well as Pluto aspecting other planets in more detail.  Hope these are helpful!

Hey Dolce,

Oh, I just timed out on a response I was writing to you.  So I'll be quick here...thanks a lot for the link.   It hit home...also the vulnerability of childhood.   Lots to draw from there...

Have you found this aspect (perhaps) drawing jealousy towards you from others?  This has been hard on me.  Men are attracted to you....but you have nothing at hand, at least not anything satisfying....women are jealous for what they perceive you have or can get...so you end up....no man and no friends to back you.     I think I've worked through a lot of it...but still more work.....  I also have Saturn sq. Venus.  

Lindsey,

Yes, for sure!  That happens to me quite often, actually.  And I also have Saturn sq. Venus.   In fact, my Venus is aspected by all of the outer planets.  Gah!

I think what I especially liked about that article is knowing how strong the expressions of attention can appear to other people, when I don't really realize that's how I come off, but it certainly explained a lot.

Thanks for sharing your stories, everyone!

dolce:

Suspicion and insecurity issues are a biggie for me as well. With all other aspects of my chart (such as my Saturn/Neptune square), I battle with feelings of worthlessness all the time, and having a natal Pluto square Moon makes these insecure feelings worse! I'm still learning how to cope with this.

It's good to know that you are getting better at dealing with it. Voicing it out DOES feel good rather than resorting to subconscious/unconscious plutonian manipluation.

lindsey:

Hmmm it's not so much that which I am thinking about but what you wrote is really interesting. Having a 12th house sun in Aries, I'm very much intense, yet this intensity is hidden from me. Often times, I come on strong and it drives people away. Also, I've encountered people who would really separate themselves from me because I can intuit their thoughts/feelings and I acknowledge not all of them like that. For a long time I've been called, "Weird" or "scary" and I can understand - because I figure people out without even consciously trying!

Overall, I'm trying to figure out the root of my trust problem. Elsa once told me that a lot of my jealousy is projected as my Pluto is in the 7th house. To a certain extent, I do believe it is. Although I've never cheated on any of my partners, I still never trust myself to be faithful at all, especially at a time like this where I'm very down on my self worth (going through Saturn Return and a hard Pluto transit to my sun).  I guess right now it's all about finding this "worth" I am looking for and believing I'm not as weak/bad as I think I am. Right now, I can't quite see it.

Alicia,

That rings a bell - have pluto square moon too and am uberfriendly but my real friends that I confide in are few and the bonds are sacrosanct.  Also it was pointed out to me that in relationships I have always held out a part of me - so that I can walk away if necessary and I have done that - seen something and no matter what I was feeling the week before - been able to just up and leave with no turning back.

Bella,

I've supposedly held a part of me too so I can walk away! Although I think this is because of my Uranus opp. Venus natal aspect. I've had long distance relationships and later on, I tend to pick men based on "disposability." One of my best friends is similar, though now she is in a stable relationship and as am I.

Because I am in a good relationship with a non-"disposable" man (He's been my best friend of 4 years before we dated), I tend to freak out so much because this is a man I am very much afraid to lose.

I guess you can say this is why I started this thread. I just want to do whatever it takes to fix myself so I won't do anything idiotic to lose him :(

Hi Lunalie,

First - interesting your venus-uranus conjunction as a guy I dated recently and a boyfriend last year both had this so says something about the committment I actually want!

Secondly, re: your comment about doing whatever it takes to fix yourself, if it is not too cheeky to have an opinion on a stranger :) - relax!  Am sure you are absolutely fine, exactly where you are mean't to be.  That is alot of pressure to put on yourself.  You can only ever make decisions according to your development at any one time so there are no mistakes.  Give yourself a break!  Your fears are not based on reality but they can affect reality - I have done this and its silly - reality is - you have a great guy so enjoy and good luck to you.

Thanks Bella,

See the problem is, I am a jealous freak. And it doesn't make sense because I'm with a Scorpio and I'm quite aware of Scorpio's loyal (and even possessive) tendencies! I guess to me, I've experience loss through deception and sudden detachments (Uranus opp. Venus) so many times that I'm afraid of this happening again. Although I have a Pluto square Moon, instead of controlling my partner, I tend to heavily try and control myself! It's ridiculous sometimes!

Haha! I guess you're right about trying to take it easy. I'm going through A LOT of transits right now. Not only Pluto has been messing with me be Saturn (return), Neptune and Uranus (in 12th) as well!