When outer planets are transiting personal planets....does some of the pressure aleviate once it has passed the personal planet?  Kinda like the pressure and anticipation of it's approach is released, or does it have the same affect no matter if the proximity is before or after the passing of the personal planet?

--Of course minus it going retro.

When Saturn was applying to my Sun, I would feel better almost immediately after he went by, like 1°-2°.  Going retro, it was a meat grinder regardless of how close it was until a return to direct.  I haven't paid as much attention to other transits/planets, but I would assume the same, at least for me.

 I have many thoughts about this. I agree with SaDiablo about the retro effect.  I think we can get some little pockets of respite, to assimilate stuff. But I have to add the case scenario when that personal planet natally aspects a second one, say a square to it some degrees later. The transit could have gone 3 times over the first planet and is past it for good. Well I'm still going to feel it until the transiting planet goes over the whole thing and is past the second planet. The pressure might shift along the way but its not gone till both points are done. I'm not saying this is always true, but it has been true for me.

I think it depends how you feel it and you can't predict it exactly. Need to look at all transits to your planets--

I have had things happen when applying, when exact, and then after. Faster planets making. contact at the same time as the outer ones... that's what brings th huge upheaval in my life

all the outer planets have been challenging me and it's been harsh and frightening

Thank God my pluto is well-aspected. That's my saving grace.

We should all write a transit survival guide--

One key to surviving difficult transit challenges is to scour the chart and see what is helping you. Usually there is something helping you
I did this one night when I couldn't sleep. I searched my chart in my mind and found that even though transiting mars was causing hard aspects, it was also trining my jupiter, sextiling my venus, and so on. Know your chart

Shell, I think so. I'm thinking specifically of Pluto crossing my ASC. The year or two leading up to the exact conjunction was intensely hellish. Now Pluto is 4 degrees past my ASC and THAT kind of pressure is over. Now I just have to gear up for a few years of Venus/Mars Pluto squares and Pluto conjunct my Moon. Weeeee!

Thank you for your responses to this. 

SaDiablo, "meat grinder" is the perfect word.  Period. =)

Isabelle, yeah, that would make sense to see what other planets it's aspecting too.  I tend to overlook everything but the cunjunctions!!  I still have a hard time with the totallity of charts.  It's like math to me, and I SUCK at math.

moonpluto, I'm really learning a lot about my perspective.  I tend to only look at the difficult things, forgeting to check out what's going on with the positive....and I think I do this too much...in all areas of my life.

Kashmiri, I'll hold your hand =)