I just emailed a fb friend who for months has been alluding to gossip, lost friendships, and I assume some personal tragedy. I just commented on one of her posts and realized it might be construed as meanspirited in some cases, depending on what's going on. and I have no idea what's going on!

there have been plenty of people I could have asked in the last few months but I chose not to. anyway, I told her it sounded like she was having a challenging time but I knew it was none of my business. but I wanted her to know I liked her a lot and hoped things were going well for her.

this is a first, having worries cos I didn't hear the gossip.

There's gossip going around about me too. a bunch of bullshit. there's gossip going around about the man. there's gossip going around about our relationship (that I'm his beard). I've had two people in two days this week tell me specific people said specific things.

part of me feels like I need to know in order to know who's backstabbing me. part of me figures I should move to Nome.

Rumors, would you rather be told (about you, about someone you care about so you can tell them) or not? ::sigh::

Nope, i learned the hard way very early on to not pay attention to heresay

I have Leo rising Scorpio Mars... it hurts my pride. i feel humiliation. I'm proud of my relationship/self/man and my mars wants to kill anyone who badmouths them.

I guess what I'm saying is to not pay attention doesn't work for me. its too fraught with emotion. I can make a decision though, to avoid people who gossip. but part of me thinks I should seek out and kill all the damned talkers.

this place where I live is a HORROR.

(((satori))), i understand you are a genuine and sensitve soul and with those placements no, i see the challenge is great, healing thoughts to you.

eh. if you don't know, it's nicer. but once you do, you can't very well "unknow" it. i bet the dumbasses are jealous.

yeah, shoot, thanks guys, seriously.

I don't want to sound like a broken record, but Facebook is a bullshit factory.  

Tired of bullshit, quit going to the factory.

oh the gossip itself is not on facebook. I just don't want some dumbass remark I make to hurt her feelings if I say something too close to what's going on. the only clue I have is that she went from "married" to no statement of relationship overnight and her hub is not on her friends list anymore.

the gossip about me/mine is all around town, not on facebook at all. as far as I'm aware.

I still hate facebook.

I'm like you satori, I need to know. You can't deal with something nebulous, and how do you know whether you need to deal with it, unless you have it defined?

I've always attracted a huge amount of gossip too - most of it salacious and meanspirited and ALL of it totally uninformed. I'm just someone people like to fantasize about I guess! It's very annoying, so I greatly sympathize. Problem is, when you patiently deny all the stories, people prefer to beiieve their own versions, so you then get labelled a liar as well as ....  whatever it was they made up!

I told someone (five years ago) that I had a kidney infection the month before. three months later I heard that it had morphed from a kidney infection to the herp. by now I probably have ebola.

So sorry to hear this. Geez, a rumor that you're a beard for your man? That's harsh and cruel. Sheesh.

I'd rather know than walk about obliviously. It happened recently with a family member and I'm still pissed. Trying to shake it off and move on knowing I need to more mindful of what I tell this person. I have a packed 12th and usually the last to know. Sun conjunct Mars wants to hold onto the anger--must get stand-up punching bag.

Hope this passes for you soon.

I hear it ALL THE TIME. I haven't heard the one that *I* am gay recently. as soon as my kids finish school I am so out of here.

Wow, I thought only celebrities got accused of being beards. In all seriousness, those people sound like a bunch of losers. LOOOOOOOOOOOSERS. You're rocking it out Leo style and they're squabbling peasants waiting for a table scrap. I say next time you see one of them in public, get their name WRONG.

"Oh it isn't Helga? But it suits your viking blood!"

You know. The other side of Uranus is your asshole. Um....yeah. Get freaky!

FB = cash money.

When someone gossips/trash talks about you it usually is indicative that "they" do not have a real life.

The best way to cope with these situations is to ignore the gossip and simply live your life.

I hope this makes sense.

maybe I should reframe it in a way my Leo can handle. "they gossip about me because I'm FABULOUS." that could actually work. thanks h.!

I wish I could ignore. I am just not wired that way. I can reframe, and that might work.
I know I seem cuddlyish on some level but I can also be very Tyler Durden.

Uranus makes a good asshole. Just sayin.' PS. When do Uranus jokes ever grow old?

NEVER.

Heh. I should be asleep. Something that helped me when I was being bullied was thinking to myself "hold on to what's higher." Whatever that means for you. Behaviour or standards or whatever. You don't belong in the gutter. You're better than that.

Goodnight. XO

maybe I should reframe it in a way my Leo can handle. "they gossip about me because I'm FABULOUS."

I think you should because this kind of stuff always comes from jealousy, allied to a certain kind of incomprehension. I attracted this stuff til I was around 60/62 - it's finally fallen off now. It always came from people who ... no better not say what I have in mind or I'll sound 'elitist' and 'snobbish'. The horror!

I would just roll with it and post something like "Wedding postponed until Gay Marriage legalized, because we need a gay marriage, because we're gay."

totally laughing out loud...

Hahaha! You could follow that with

"Or so we are constantly told, so it MUST be true"

I guess I would want to know.

80% of the time, I don't want to know. 20% of the time, like if someone is doing real damage OR I have in infiltrator in my inner circle and am being betrayed, then I want to know. But your average yahoo? Nah.  If a person isn't smart enough to consider the source or circumstance of whatever, they're off my radar anyway.

I never want to know gossip!  I don't do it, I don't like to hear it and I think it's destructive and never does any good.

I'm strange in my circle  though. Most do  want to know gossip and most gossip.  I still find it irritating and try to avoid hearing it, spreading it or creating it!

Maybe they're jealous?

[I've been through the beard thing to - we're each other's beards. ((eyeroll)) my mars and his venus rising confuses the hell out of some people.)

satori lives in the shittiest town I have ever heard of.  It's like there is something in the water there, it's horrifying. I have been hearing about people in this town for 8 years and have yet to hear of someone I would want to spend 5 minutes with, outside of satori of course. It's that much of a pit. :)

(((Satori)))

People are just fuckin' vicious trolls sometimes....!

Ugh.  I've been on the reciveing end of this from an ex before (in high school) and it sucks.  He made up a bunch of lies about me post break-up, spread them around to a people who I considered mutual friends, and I lost some "friends" over it...

I say "friends" because if they had really cared they would have bothered to ask/confront me about what was being said rather than just taking his word as gospel.  The infuriating thing to me is that it was lies - I could care less if someone had a beef with me that was legit and/or it was a personality conflict (ie "she's a bitch"), but making up crap about a person just to feed the rumor mill and influence others is total BS and goes below the belt. 

I think I would rather know what was being said about me one way or the other so I can judge whether I should a) avoid the gossip monger in qustion like the plague b)confront said gossip monger and tell them to piss off.  I would especially want to know if it was someone I had trusted. Getting stabbed from one's own inner circle is the worst, and in a situation like that finding out who is responsible is the only way you're going to stop something like this from happening again in the future - even if all you do is distance yourself from them. 

Spreading gossip about one of your own friends pretty much makes you a scumbag in my books - I certainly wouldn't want someone like that in my inner circle and would appreciate knowing if I did. 

LOL @ Elsa!

"something in the water there...."

Maybe it's the 9th circle of Hell and we just don't know it yet, haha!  There's a horrifying thought - being stuck there for all of eternity.....

*shudders*

I think the problem is that you make them look bad. I don't mean intentionally. I mean spiritually, emotionally you are in a different class.

Instead of growing as a person, they choose to go the other way. It's like they have to go to an extreme (they are going to an extreme) to counterbalance you. I hope this made sense!

No, I don't want to know the gossip 95% of the time.

the only gossip i ever want to hear is if a man is a sexual predator or violent in some way

does that even constitute gossip?

my philosophy about this is "i gossip about the gossipers being gossipers,"  just to give everyone that'll listen a head's up

LOL- My Ex-Husband is from the town that Satori lives in... It's definitely a pit.

Sorry you have to deal with them, Satori!  BTW, what's it mean to be someone's beard anyway?

The people there are like a cartoon. You could make a cartoon of them, like South Park! :)

CArRiE I had to look it up too - I thought that was because I'm a Brit!

It's when someone is camoflage for the partner being gay. I now know a spent almost all of my University years madly in love, but in fact I was not a lover but a 'beard' - yeuch! Horrible expression, it brings to mind a certain painting by Magritte LOL

I could totally write the modern Peyton Place.

the allergist once told me that due to it being a deep valley and wind patterns every allergen that originates or lands here NEVER LEAVES. and that's why my allergies are off the charts here. I suspect this applies to negative energy as well. hopefully it doesn't apply to ME.

man, CArRiE, my guy is one year older than you. I wonder if your ex knows him.

Ceci n'est pas un amour

(On la dit; c'est vrai!)

(also apologies for my mangling of French)