Has anyone ever left a seemingly good relationship during their SR due to a heavy feeling that it just isn't right for no "horrible" reasons?

Ever felt the pressure to just break it off because it doesn't feel authentic and fulfilling???

I feel like I have done everything in my power and knowledge to make myself a better partner and to grow into the person I am happy with, only to find out three years later, that the "key" no longer fits? 

I sometimes feel as if i give and give and give without expecting anything in return but in all honesty, I wish that the love and compassion would be mutual. Im starting to realize a love relationship needs to be a good balance of give and also TAKE. I feel starved of sincere love and care. i am sad that this is how it is. 

Is this saturn's lesson?

I have saturn in Libra, as well my moon, pluto and asc and also Jupiter in 1st and 12th house. 

Or is it Chiron?

I have Chiron in Taurus in the 8th house. 

*"key" as in key to your heart or viceversa

Anyone can share their thoughts and experience? 

(((Gloria))) I do have thoughts on this, but will have to come back as I'm not able to write tonight.

Well, without seeing your chart. And just getting an feel and intuition from what you posted, it seems some very strong energies are hitting you. And what I have learned is always to focus on your inner, higher self (not ego).

 I would be interested in looking at your chart before I give any astrological repsonse.

My intuitive response to you is go with your "gut feeling".  It may be that this is a prelude to other things down the road.

And it doesnt necessarily mean your relationship is doomed or over or not workable. It could be that you are headed for making a decision that can be both painful and liberating.

I have a close friend who is going thru the same kind of thing. One thing that struck me (again, without seeing your chart and doing a full analysis) is that you are experiencing a growth and new-found-ed-ness of yourself (look at your 1st house), and that can be very uncomfortable in a relationship (7th house). Because the other person projects a certain "thing" on you that they expect.  And when you change, or dont want to or can't fit into that "thing" the other expects, the relationship gets toussled with (uranus).

So, listen to what the universe is telling you in september, a very powerful month, and have patience to listen and you will find the answer. 

For some reason, I believe that this saturn-uranus opposition is going to be more exhilirating this time than horribly "shake me up like a rag doll and im helpless" kind of feeling.

 And I also recommend you to consult with Elsa (if even for 35 minutes email). Cause she's pretty darn good. And it looks like you've got some powerful activity going on there. You dont want to let it cook and have it explode all over the stove in 2 years..

Excuse me for being in anyway outspoken. Thats my Chiron (I'm shy, I see things, I speak to boldy, and then I feel scared..) (hee hee.)

con mucho amor

blessings,

namaste

Thank you so much for your response chamirose=) you didn't cross any lines or make me feel uncomfortable. at all.

Thanks Kash, cant wait =) 

It could be that your pattern of

"I sometimes feel as if i give and give and give without expecting anything in return but in all honesty, I wish that the love and compassion would be mutual"

is part of the problem as well. I say that because I am in a marriage where we were growing apart for many years, and not bringing out the best in each other. At the point that I went to a divorce attorney, it turned around, because it forced him to have a much needed breakdown that he wouldn't have had if I had stayed in my normal pattern. (I'm making him sound like an alcoholic or something - it wasn't like that.)

It might not be the same situation for you, I don't mean to make assumptions. I just want to point out that a relationship involves a blending of energies, and it could be that all the giving space is being taken up by you, since you're a giver anyway. He might need more of a push to achieve what he's capable of in that department (if he's capable of it).

What actions would make you feel love and compassion were happening? It feels weird to operationalize it like that, I know, but to someone for whom this is new, they might need more than "I'll know it when I feel it," which would probably be my response, for example.

Maybe give him some specific things you want him to do, and ask for them. For example, "The next time I tell you I've had a bad day, I want five minutes to talk about it with you without you saying anything. Then, perhaps you could make dinner that night if you don't have other plans while I take a bath." Then, when he does them, let him see the effect it has. He might get the connection that way. I know it sounds SO AWKWARD. But he's not grokking you, so you might need to spell it out.

Don't be afraid to ask for what you need from him - if the relationship is just going to break up otherwise, what do you have to lose anyway? Either it's just not natural for him, and he needs to learn to speak at least a little bit of your language, or he doesn't care. At least if you try to spell it out, you'll probably be able to see which problem you're dealing with, which will make the decision a whole lot easier to make. Good luck!

(sorry for the long-ass post)

I hate to say it but I did feel at times, starved for love and care in the final year or two of my relationship. The feeling would be fleeting but it would always, always return. The element of mutuality and having a relationship based upon it felt to be entirely out of my grasp.

I think you already know that my partner left me. I found some solace from a consultation with Elsa. I was lamenting his lack of care etc. and she helped me see that I was barking up the wrong tree. NOT because I wanted the kind of connection that I wanted, but because I was looking for it with a person who simply couldn't participate in it, in the way I wanted. So in a way, it was about my expectations. I remember saying "well who is going to want me like this, then, because I'll be a liability to anyone." Her response was clarifying: "Someone different"--or something like that.

I have been dating someone for the last few weeks and it's hard--it's hard because I'm being treated the way I wished my ex had treated me. So there is the whole issue of being adored in a way I've only dreamed of...to find that it makes me feel uncomfortable. Simply put, I am NOT USED to this kind of ---for lack of a better word, seeing we're only dating---love.

I have Moon/Pluto/Venus t-square and am used to being ignored, not adored. It worked well for a time, because I'm incredibly independent...so I chose men who would respect my space, only to have them emotionally distant. 

Gloria, I'm so sorry because reading your words of "feeling starved" --I just relate to that so much. My ex was very, very good to me in so many ways. But we just had so many hardships (of a practical variety). For one year (the year he was off work after a catastrophic accident) we bonded like never before, but he drifted away from me, further and further until finally it was done. In a way I know that he set me free, because I never would have left him. And I have the opportunity to grow from this. But the loss that we couldn't make it work is enormous and I feel I will never get over it. Being left is hideous. 

Anyway I'm sorry if this isn't helpful to your problem, but your words of feelings starved really hit a nerve. I have Chiron in Taurus, too, square my 8th House Saturn.

To sum up:

-if the feeling repeats, pay closer attention.

-find a way to talk about things before it is too late. I wish so much my ex had spoken to me while fixing the problem was still a possibility. 
 

Speaking as someone who went through something similar, I agree with what everyone here posted.  Asking for what you need is essential.  Also feeling like you deserve it.  I personally was raised to be a people pleaser - polite, accomodating, etc.  So in intimate relationships I often felt like I was always giving.  I don't know how much that is the case for you, but for me it was too much. At one point I just left.  (Objectively I could have stayed and worked it out and so on, but that wasn't the only problem in that relationship.)

I think the hardest thing for you, if you were going to break this pattern, would be for your partner to get used to the change in you.  But if you really love him and want to stick with him, talking to him about all of this is a good start, like user said, and he should want to help you so that you get your needs met.  If not, then that's a whole nother story.

"find a way to talk about things before it is too late. I wish so much my ex had spoken to me while fixing the problem was still a possibility."

Seconded, by someone who's been on the opposite side.  If it's been basically good in those three years, then I see no reason to just chuck it.  At least talk about what you're feeling and see where things stand after that.  Your partner may surprise you.  (((Gloria)))  I hope things work out amicably, either way.

PS:  (((kash)))

Hey guys! Thank you soooo much for all your comments!! 

I haven't had a chance to read all the comments till now because I pulled a 12 hour day today. I just want to at least say thank you to all for now and I'll come back here to comment tomorrow.

It's been a really crazy day at work and on the road. i almost got attacked. But I am okay, so I just have to thank my lucky stars.

Maybe it's the full moon?

Goodbye for now. 

p.s i can relate to all of you on everything you've mentioned here. i feel so NOT alone. Thank you so much everyone!

I like what everyone has to say here and I think that if a person wants a relationship they should work really hard on the one they have... buuuuuuuuuut...

in regard to your core question:  on my first saturn return I left my partner because I really wanted to get married and have kids and that was not what he wanted.  I loved him very much and he loved me too but we wanted different things.  it was so very difficult and we both missed each other.  but he went on to be a successful nature photographer and I went on to have two more children.

I am really feeling this post - its hitting all of my buttons. I still keep in touch with my ex, who I left and am very happy with my decision to move out on my own. I think that was a huge pivotal point in my life - because I too am a people pleaser and act nice, when underneath I am really full of feelings that are opposite, kind of nudging, that I dont want to be this way, etc...

I have a hard time with him now because he is telling me that he wants a future with me, and he wants all these things I want...but when I ask myself if I want him, I get numb. I really have a hard time saying no to him...I feel like Im playing some game. But I just cant let him go - he understands me so well, and even though Ive treated him not so well on some occasions, he still sticks by to work it out and understand why Im doing this - and I feel it helps me be more aware of my negative patterns, or my shadow.

Im having a hard time really, really letting him go. Maybe I should contact Elsa :)

*Having the hard time letting go because I keep asking whether it would be the right thing - to lose a man who really loves me, and go off in a search (which Im not motvated to do at all) of love with someone else - so daunting...but I also feel like I cannot do less than that. I feel like I need real love, whatever that means.  Like someone mentioned on a post here, when she met her husband, it felt like coming home.