I'm curious about Saturn. If you check out Saturn aspects on most astrology sites, they don't typically have much good to say. Unless the person you're in a relationship has got Saturn trine or sextile your inner planets, you're pretty much SOL, they say.

And yet... there are an awful lot of us walking around, living our daily lives right on top of or pretty darn close to someone whose Saturn is affecting us in some way.

Take my mom, for example. This woman has the sun in Leo and Moon, Venus & Mars in Gemini. So what does she do? She goes and marries a guy with Saturn in Gemini, and if that's not enough, has kids with Saturn in Gemini and Saturn in Leo, respectively. Now what the heck kind of self punishment is that?

And to be honest, if I had to ask, have the 3 abovementioned family members spent a lifetime repressing said poor woman's self expression for a majority of the time? Well, I would say YES. When I learned about Saturn I started to take a new attitude toward my mother, who, by the way, has been regarded by most people in her life as someone rather avant-garde, radical and eccentric - but my use of the word "avant-garde" alone would indicate that she is well ahead of her time and so pretty much our attempts to slow her down were luckily fruitless. In other words: she has a damn lot of good that she's contributed to the world/taught us, we just didn't recognize it when we were young. We were too busy rolling our eyes at everything she did.

Generationally, does this happen fairly often - parents raising kids whose Saturns aspect their Sun, Moon, etc.?

Now, take the people who I hang out with and date: those who I spend most of my years socializing and being friends/intimate with. Most of these people have Saturn in Cancer, which squares my Libra Sun, Merc and Mars. (If you do the math, you'll note that I gravitate toward people who are younger than I am.) So inevitably, at some point at any given time I'll be sitting in a car or someplace with one of these people and I'll make a suggestion or express a thought, only to have it "shot down" or perhaps I'm given "yet another weird look" and before long I'm ready to jump out the friggin' window.

What have your experiences with Saturn been? If you're married to or in a long-term relationship with someone who hard aspects your Saturn, how do you deal? Do you generally find that you're the Repressing Saturn Figure, or the one who is being smooshed?

My last BF was a Gemini so my Saturn sits on top of his sun. I knew this going in and made a conscious effort not to react negatively/repressively to things he said/did. Although there was a fair amount of posturing from him as well, with his damn Saturn in Cancer doing a number on my planets. (And by the way, my mom, with her Moon, Venus and Mars in Gemini thinks this ex of mine walks on water!).

Do you think that a relationship where two people whose suns are conjunct, trine or sextile with bad Saturn aspects have it easier than two people whose suns are square or quincunxt (sp?) with the same Saturn challenges?

How do you deal with Old Man Saturn?

dammit, i spelled "conjuncts" wrong in the post title! #$@#$@!

Great post dina2, I've been wondering the same thing myself recently.  Got no answers though, hope someone does.

I-m a sun conjunct saturn (libra) and I was always parenting my own self...and with leo venus on the ascendent I figured pretty soon I'm my own boss.

Every other attempt by other people to repress me is just a projection, and saturn energy can be disturbing just as much as any other planet energy can. 

I have pluto conjunct my mercur wich means the people my generation will always,

to an extent or another crush my thinking with the plutonic energy.

Taken you know the astrology,

 you just have to accept it.

I can see how a gemini saturn really would want to escape saturn energy/issue, but on the other hand you are libra and saturn is part of you.

As to answer your question: trine sextile are usually easier to deal with than squares... 

How do you deal with Old Man Saturn?

I say: be it! be your own saturn.

If you do there' s no need for other  people to parent you :-)

I don't really understand what you mean by "parenting," so let me give you an example of what I "think" would be a typical Saturnian episode.

Me and boyfriend, hanging around the house (this is made-up, but it could very well have happened and probably has, with any number of boyfriends). AC/DC comes on the radio so I turn it up and begin to "rock out."

Boyfriend lowers radio. "The neighbors..."

Me: "But it's 3 pm! Who CARES if the neighbors don't like it. I have to hear their crappy music all the time..."

Boyfriend gives disapproving look. I leave the house to go rock out in my car and get the hell away from his stuffy ass.

Is it me or is that Saturn repressing somebody's good time?

PS: by parenting, do you mean self discipline, like knowing when to study for tests as a kid, knowing when to stop screwing around and get to work, not getting into trouble and things like that?

I think that historically I have boatloads of self parenting, if I'm interpreting your thoughts correctly. Lately, though, my self imposed Saturn figure is out to lunch. Having a tough time focusing on work (I'm self employed). With Saturn moving into Libra, though, that will hopefully get me back on the horse.

So anyway, back to Saturn and Synastry. If your S.O. and you have Hard Saturn Aspects, or if your close family members or roommates or something do (meaning people you have to deal with every day)... how do you deal?

To me, the worst part of Saturn aspects is the LOOK that you get when all you want to do is have a good time, be free and express yourself. Saturn people frequently don't GET your joke... or they don't APPROVE OF IT. Or they are somehow above it, removed from the childish mirth. Or YOU SAID THE WRONG THING and they are embarrassed.

I deal with the soldier's Saturn in hard aspect to my Mars and Mercury. He frustrates the living shit out of me at times and I fly into a rage. He tells me to wait for things (namely him), he delays things, and oh yeah! He is hardly ever here. However...

What I have learned from him is priceless. Literally.  And when my mind is racing in crisis, he can cool me down provided I allow it.

By that I mean, it if possible to be highly upset and when someone tries to calm you they get a big ol' FUCK YOU. But it is also possible to look at the person trying to calm you and allow their energy to slow yours.

I have Saturn in Capricorn - my husband has Saturn, Mars, Mercury in Capricorn.  He was also born on Aquarius/Capricorn cusp.  My husband acts like a Capricorn way more than Aquarius - he fixes everything, takes care of everything.  If we are in a tizzy at home over something, he walks in, and just stabilizes the whole situation.  And he has always had an incredible calming influence on me, really from the day that we met.  My mother was Capricorn, both of my in-laws as well.  Both of my kids have uranus and neptune in Capricorn, and my son also has Saturn there.  Oh, and my nephew/god-son is Capricorn, and my department head (have worked with her for 11 years).  Guess I live in a Capricorn world 

Dorothy: do you think it's the Saturn so much as the Capricorn? You're bringing up an interesting point with the calming. I had a Capricorn roommate in college. She could freak out with the best of them (Scorpio rising) but dammit if this chick's soothing voice from her corner of the room didn't lull me to sleep every night.

Same thing with my ex with the Cappy moon. The soft, gentle voice, calm nature, helpfulness. Both of these people were like that and I find it really grounding. 

I think Earth signs really help me out in the calming department. 

Hi Dina - I am not sure what it is.  Not all of the Capricorns in my life have a calming influence (my mother certainly did not, and the head of my department, not at all either).  But my husband, and in-laws (both deceased), do.  My mother-in-law, well my husband takes after her in the "okay let's just fix this" department.  I have been told that having one's Saturn on someone else's mars (mine on my husband's), that basically I suck for that other person, squashing his energy.  But we have been together almost 30 years, so I guess that would be an example of Saturn not always being the kiss of death in a relationship.