Well, I'm not REALLY scared.  I'm more curious than anything. I've been a freelance artist/illustrator/designer for the past 3 years... sometimes with an office job, sometimes not.  After 2005 and 6 years of full-time office monkey business, it became incredibly difficult for me to be in an office environment.  I stopped BS'ing myself in March and stuck with my real purpose - art.

I just moved to NYC from a yearlong stay in Baltimore 2 weeks ago, and I've already had a group art show at Webster Hall on Friday.  I'm sure that my art is going to get BIG recognition... however, I'm DYING to be a singer/performer/rock star/whatever... which means I have to start from square ONE.  The interest in being a singer was always there since I started formal training in 2005... but THIS year, the passion is obsessive.  Outside of drunken karaoke, I have no real performance experience.  I'm ready for it though, and it's serious.  I want to perform more than I want to draw/design right now.  My visual side will never die off, but my voice is aching to be heard.  I'm also going into voiceover work, so that's a whole other route.  I'm just glad I'm in the right city to wear all these hats.  

One thing I wonder about is a current client of mine.  The whole story with him has been VERY Saturnian.  He's an entrepreneur in Venice CA who has put me through the ringer with a vague contract and ended up getting WAY more work out of me than he paid me for ($600 in 3 months).  When I tried to get out of the contract, he threatened me with serious legal action.  After finishing this gig out of fear and frustration (MY FAVORITE WORK CONDITIONS), which was absolute torture at some points (I honestly had no idea what i was getting into - Mercury Retrograde), he gave me a few more jobs.  These jobs are light and I have no problem with them.  His sincerity to my talents seems quite genuine, but he's an incredibly aggressive, kind of cold intellectual type.  He's also a Taurus, born on the 9th, so of course he's totally insane.  I usually do NOT get along with number 9 people.  I'm an 8, myself.  

Now that this whole gig-from-hell scenario has had the lid put on it, I've made my peace with his personality, and he's given me a few more straightforward, simple/enjoyable gigs.  However, I feel like that he's either an asset or liability to my Saturn return. 

Pros: Loyal, has powerful connections, self-made millionaire (I just learned this!).

Cons: Has not paid for my services like a millionaire would (yet?), jerk-energy, bullyish, seems cold and businesslike despite his spiritual/philosophical persona - though he is a male Taurus, so maybe it's all just a front.  Is it just me or are Taurus men really good at building an Idolic image of themselves?  

The whole thing is like... do I stay with the guy who could really "help" me out, or do I do this for myself?  I know I'm going to be rich one day.  That's ANOTHER reason why I'm wondering if it's smart to hang on to him.  I think he likes a workhorse.  When it comes to "Hard Work" I don't buy into that old story.  He hasn't paid me much, but this also feels like a trial ... he was apparently paying his last designer $100,000 a year (!).  And if he ends up proposing something like this to me... would it be worth it?  

In case you were wondering, I'm a 4th house Cap Sun with a Libra Rising and 12th house Virgo Moon. Most of my planets are in Libra/Cap. My Saturn has just conjuncted my ASC... i hear that this is a very powerful influence.   My natal Saturn is also 9.20 Libra - should be interesting VERY soon! 

I appreciate your (positive) advice/stories, especially if you've dealt with anything like this! :-)

i can't speak to your career choice - that's a personal decision and i don't really know anything about your needs or drives anyway.

on the client, i've freelanced for many years. it's been my experience that either clients respect me or they don't. the ones who pay the least are generally the least respectful of my energy and the least likely to be pleased with my work.

personally, any client i perceived as a bully or who had threatened legal action against me would _not_ remain on my client list once i'd fulfilled my obligations, i have been doing this many years now and have come to the conclusion i ONLY want to work with people that make me happy. 

he's using his money and clout to get you to perform for table scraps. you're hoping to use his money and clout to break through - except it's in a field you're not sure you want to be in and with a person who you don't trust to treat you fairly. i don't know what he can or cannot do for you, but it doesn't sound like a very appealing situation to me.

good luck.

I am with goddess on this one. I'm a freelance designer myself and I have gone through issues like this pre-Saturn return (last year, when I was 28 years old). In a way, I relate to what you have to say. I left a former employer that year (one of my proudest moments) without anything to fall back on but the rather "unstable" freelance work. I think what Saturn teaches you is where you stand - as an adult and what life path you choose. For me, all the stress-related illnesses I've discovered during my Saturn Return was cue to me that something was wrong in my life - in this case, I often let others bully me because I needed a paycheck. What I really wanted is to be independent, but I didn't believe I have what it takes to be an entrepreneur.

I can't give you full astrological advice, but you have to ask yourself: what do you value? What do you feel is most important to you? And since your Saturn is in Libra, I would say your focus would be on partnerships - and this includes business partnerships. Is it worthwhile staying with this "business partner" because he can promise you money yet treat you badly? Where will this take you in your career? Does this burn you out? 

The lesson I learned in Saturn (and perhaps this may be different since mine's in Virgo) is that you have to learn to watch out for YOU. Nobody tells YOU what to do and nobody tells YOU how to live. You decide.