Hey guys! This one is for the Scorpio men out there and anyone else who has experienced this. I wanna know if a Scorpio guy can be friends with an ex girlfriend that he's still in love with?

Is this the same guy you were asking about a while ago?  Are you the one he is in love with or is it someone else that you are concerned about?

Yes.

Yea it is the same guy. I finally responded to him last wk, after 4 months of him trying to talk to me. He said he just wants to be my friend, and not hate each other, but little by little he started talking about our past relationships, bringing up the good times and even telling me he still gets the urge to wanna kiss me and hold me, fall asleep, make love etc. But thats not being a "friend." He said he has feelings for a girl that he hangs out with alot, but she doesn't know. So maybe he just wants to use me to pass the time.

But i'm just curious if they can or cannot be friends with an ex girlfriend if they are still in love with them. This has to do with that Cap girl that he was involved with.

I don't have the slightest idea of what he's up too. As i just dont believe any word he says anymore after all the ish that went down last yr.

What do you want, Fish?  For yourself?

Love your user name and avatar, Fish! Truly!

Elsa, i have moved on and been back in the dating game. I don't want anything with him. He just won't seem to leave me alone for some reason. He ALWAYS comes back. I used to give into him many times in the past when I was vulnerable and just a mess, but not this time, it took me some time to learn my lesson, but i've learnt it. I just don't like him trying to mess with my head and I won't hang out with him and he's mad now and not talking lol. Sigh! It's crazy because we get along really well when there's no arguing over stupid things. He's EXTREMELY stubborn too.

He also seems to think he owns me and that i'm his forever.

Thank you Caroline

Hmmm, I have to ask my Scorpio exbf that I am still in touch with.  But our thing was a LONG time ago, and Yes, he did want to be friends, but we lost contact with each other over the years.  We are back in contact for several years now, and we talk on the phone every day!  So yeah, I guess "feelings" still linger.

Hmm, but then, how do I ask him THAT question without sounding like I am asking for myself....hmmm.....

I say NO.  Once you've had sex, you are no longer friends, no matter what label you slap on it.   

lol @ Virgo, i hope he doesn't think that.

detach, cut him off completely, cut the etheric cords, enjoy your life!

I say NO.  Once you've had sex, you are no longer friends, no matter what label you slap on it. 

I say that's quite wrong. I stayed friends with several former lovers, even a couple I'd had very passionate affairs with. And I know many people who've almost invariably stayed friends with their exes, including at least two Scorps I know well. So it may be true for you Morgan, but it's not true for everyone by any means

Some of my lovers were friends with whom I had occasional sex, or a brief short-term affair, and they remained friends long after we no longer had sex. It can be done!

It can even be done post-marriage. One old friend, a distinguished producer at the old BBC and now dead, fell in love with another woman and had a civilised divorce then re-married. There was a son from each marriage. The two 'families' always spent Xmas together, sometimes holidayed together, and were genuinely the best of friends, sons and wives included. He used to go to art exhibitions with his ex wife a lot, once he retired - his wife was always working.

In the same close group of people, another woman I know well almost always invites her first husband (with whom she has a daughter) to her dinner parties - he's a psychiatrist and author, and very amusing. I know quite a few people like that

ETA  Does sound though as if your ex is angling for something more physical!  I've got one like that - no matter how horrible and acrimonious our bust-ups and how long the silences, he always eventually comes back for more.... What does go through their minds?

Getting back together with an ex:

Odds: slim to none

The exception; not the rule

I don't think they can do it.

Can Scorpio be friends with an ex? Yes, provided he feels the friendship benefits him in a way it never could when you were lovers.

Can Scorpio be friends with an ex he is still in love with? No. Then it become a mind game, cat-and-mouse, with the Scorpio trying a new strategy to winning the ex.

Can Scorpio be friends with an ex he is still in love with? No. Then it become a mind game, cat-and-mouse, with the Scorpio trying a new strategy to winning the ex.

This is why I have no contact with my Scorpio ex now.

@ Morgan, i agree/disagree with that. I am friends with a guy i messed around with before my ex boyfriend. It could work depending on the situation of course.

@ Blessed Place, thanks for that very interesting response. Yes he wants to be friends with benefits, i asked him earlier to define friends and he said that, but he wasn't clear when he initially said that he wanted to be friends. His mind games makes me crazy. I dont know why he ALWAYS comes back to me, but he always always does. SIGH

@ towardsfuture i agree with the exception; not the rule. =]

@ egiyablu and orchid, he is definitely doing some cat and mouse ish with me. I don't know why he feels just because we had a relationship, that he owns me and can come back have his way with me, then leave again. I know all of his exes, the first 2 before me have kids, the 2 after me, one is now a lesbian and the other i wished not to know what happened, less i know about that one the better i sleep, that one was the one that all the crazy ish went down with.

I put my foot down though and let him know i'm not gonna be his FWB. I do still have love for him and care for him and i've left the past behind, but i don't think he can be "just friends" with me. I'll see how this pans out.

Thanks everyone for the feedback! =]

sometimes they come back not because they are still in love but because they cannot bear the thought of being forgotten

Seems to me if you want to maintain a friendship and nothing more that you need to tell him that but then to absolutely stick to your boundaries! Sounds like he knows you're ok with FWB which is why he keeps pushing the envelope on this.  If this isn't what you want and you're having trouble keeping him just as a friend, then perhaps cutting ties would help you keep the boundary firm.  It's really about what you want, not what he wants, right?

Not to threadjack or anything, but what IS FWB anyway?

Off to start new thread!!!!!

Friends with Benefits

I attract Scorpios like bees to honey. When a scorpio cares, they never ever truly go away in my experience. Every guy in my life with the exception of one has been a scorpio. When they love they do and as one of my scorpio friends said (who used to be a lover) "I can take u in many forms, a friendship is def one of them" and to this day... We have just been friends. I met him when I was nineteen, I'm 27 now. Friend lover or whatever he has been a real mental support in my life, as he lives in CA and I'm on the other side of the country. What I'm trying to say is that if u have earned a scorpios love (bc scorpios don't just give affection) they never really go away. You might not talk to him/her for years and at some point they'll pop right back up caring just as much as ever. Or so has been my experience.

But you do have to make your boundaries firm. He is still a man. I had to tell my ex lovie a couple of times to knock it off and for some reason that only made him care about the person I am more than ever before.

Scorp Moons:  I nearly got back with my First Great Love last summer, after forty years - I put the story in the Colosseum. He's a Leo with a Scorpio Moon. We've sometimes not been in touch for years, but when we have there's always still been love around. It was the first 'big one' for us both, and my Moon is Fixed anyway. The other Leo with a Scorp Moon I loved around that time stayed a friend for many years too - he turned out to be gay but there was deep love between us, and when I stopped seeing him it was due other reasons (his exasperating inability to stick to arrangements, and all his neuroses) not any lack of 'soul friendship'

As regards why the Man keeps coming back, and this is over a period of 24 years now: I'm part of his life, and development (so far as he's developed at all!), and in the past I was the only woman who 'stood up to him' and didn't just roll over; sexually it's always been terrific between us, and that's rare in life - and very very important to him; and finally I believe there's quite a bit of astrology involved:

He's a four planet Leo Stellium - Sun/Uranus exact, Mercury closely conjunct, and Pluto. He rebels against any attachment (esp having a Gem Venus) and his Leo love of high drama also kicks in - I really believes something in him enjoys the bust ups and reconciliations. With fixed Moon square fixed Moon (Taurus/Aqua), these have been frequent since we're quite incompatible emotionally... With all that Leo, he has to have the last word; he can't bear being the one who's dumped

In addition, we have SN conjunct NN (both ways of course and almost exact). And there's def something 'fated' in the attachment. Sadly I think we'll have to go through it all again, somewhere down the line.

If he's a mature individual, and he cares for that person, he can definitely still be friends with her--provided she can reciprocate that friendship.

@ mahchi Yea I told him we can be friends, nothing more. I'm not ok with being FWB, and he does this thing when we are having a convo (via tex) he just stops responding. I HATE THAT lol @ Ama i completely agree, i've had to tell him about 3 times already. I was talking with him last night and he stopped responding, and haven't heard from him since and I'm not gonna go after him. I said what i had to say, layed my boundaries and thats it. I won't be surprised if i dont hear from him, only for awhile that is. He never really does go away.

When I responded to him, he just kept saying "Don't hate me" "Please don't hate me." @ Sagittarius i can see how you said they can't bear the thought of being forgotten plays here.

My experience is that a Scorpio always comes back. All the water signs do, again and again. With one exception: If you have hurt a Scorpio badly enough -- then not only will he never come back but you'll get a weird feeling that you had a chunk of some part of your psyche blown out of you with the force of the amputation.

Scorpios are either extraordinarily aware or completely clueless about their own motivation. He might just want closure instead of friendship, even though he doesn't know it. He might be trying to re-examine whether he made a mistake in letting you go.

I don't get the sense from what you said that this is a power thing from this Scorpio. That,  you seriously would not be able to mistake -- you wouldn't be confused about it, you would *know*.

 The way you win this really is to let him do what he wants. Talk to him if you want to. But remain unaffected. It's doesn't have to be about " he thinks he owns me," it can just be -- fine I'll talk to you BUT I DON'T FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU.  I don't want to hug you or kiss you or hold you. I'm over it.

Just calculate your boundaries and how much time you really have available for this kind of thing and make sure you prioritize your confused ex dead last when it comes to your available energy.

Also, don't be fooled. They always come back, but they *don't stay*.

Eva, i absolutely agree with you!!!!!!

Very good post from eva, inc aobut Scorp self-awareness. 

and this:  If you have hurt a Scorpio badly enough -- then not only will he never come back but you'll get a weird feeling that you had a chunk of some part of your psyche blown out of you with the force of the amputation

Yep, my FGL (Scorp Moon) was very hurt by me at one point and although we remained friends or rather kept up a connection on and off for over 40 years he never came back... and it did leave a huge hole in me. We nearly did meet last year - but something triggered him and he slammed up the shutters and vanished again... At least he told me he'd always loved me

" If you have hurt a Scorpio badly enough -- then not only will he never come back but you'll get a weird feeling that you had a chunk of some part of your psyche blown out of you with the force of the amputation"

I find this to be very true. I have had one relationship with a Scorpio and have not attempted one again. I fell hard, fast and without reservation for him. He was a triple water, Scorpio Sun, Picses Moon and Cancer Rising and DEEP. HEAVY. Kept pace with me until my Aries emotions wrestled free and began rearing her ugly head. It ended badly and I believe the ripping apart left a hole in us both that might not ever be closed.

(Fish said )  "he does this thing when we are having a convo (via tex) he just stops responding. I HATE THAT lol "

Oh man oh man......My SON is a scorpio (Libra rise, cancer moon & mars in 9th, Capricorn Venus in 3rd) and this fits him to a T! Drives me nuts too! He is also extremely stubborn!

He also cannot stand to be alone, EVER.  Rarely does he goes into seclusion for recharging and ME time.

Yes i see the cat mouse thing go on and on, but usually only when the girl is more than willing to play that game.

 He has an enormous amount of friends both man and female, and i think he truely cannot stand to have an enemy. He seems to make peace and forgive and wants to win his enemies over to be friends, and does so unless he wants to stay enemies.

When he is truely hurt and never wants to see you again, you definately know it he makes sure of that.

I also see girls returning to rekindle the relationship, a few stalker types, and also those who will be just friends.

He Always leaves a very lasting impression on everyone.

Artzypantz

i have stayed friends with most of my ex's.  and i still keep in touch with almost all of them. 

BUT.. with some, there is and will always be a degree of sexual attraction.  those are the ones i remains friends with "at a distance". 

one in particular is one of my best friends now, and i think of him more as a brother than anything else.  i've helped him through shitting relationships since, and he's been my shoulder to cry on more than once.

it depends on the people involved;  the relationship that you both had together and also the amount of time that has passed since the relationship ended. 

@ Artsy i told my ex he is so stubborn and he told me "stubborn is my middle first name" LOL He is way too confusing. But he only wants one thing "Sex" i came to this conclusion because he is always talking about it, and about our past, every chance he gets he will steer everything back to sex. It gets really annoying sometimes and i even ignore him for hours hoping that he will eventually stop, but he just starts again, then he goes silent and i don't hear from him for awhile, and then hes back again. SIGH He started off every morning at 5-6am texting me "Goodmorning ;)" for about a wk straight, talking alllll day long, and now hes stopped. But i recently found out from him, that the girl he wanted to get with, a friend of his whom he was spending alot of time with, he told her how he felt and she rejected him and they are no longer friends. She didn't wanna be more and he didnt wanna remain friends. So i was like maybe thats why hes been so quiet. He even has a stalker, his ex gf before me.

@ rantares113 He is one that im going to keep at a distance. He keeps asking me to hang out, but i already know what he wants and it's not gonna happen. He would always say he can't promise me that he wouldnt try anything if we ever hang out, so yea. Far away is where he will stay lol

My most serious relationship ended in a way that hurt both of us, and was the result of circumstances moreso than either of us wanting out of the relationship. It was for the best anyway as we were going to be split by distance very soon, and I don't think either of us would have handled that well. 

We spoke very rarely for about a year, then randomly, we decided to meet up. In conversation she had told me that I'd always be special to her, so I took that to mean at some point we might be able to get back together(and that I may get some action). I didn't make a move on her because I could sense the distance, but she started keeping in contact a bit more after that. We met up a few more times over the next couple years, and I finally accepted that it was not going to happen, and I was ready to let her go.

The next time she was in town, she insisted that we meet up,  after I quasi-tried to avoid it. This was the first get together since the breakup that I had no hidden agenda, and I actually took an interest in her friend that came along. That night we ended up having sex, and it actually started a random FWB relationship that I still don't know what to make heads or tails of.

Long story short, I don't think Scorps ever really let go of a sexual relationship. If they're with someone else then I think they can be platonic friends, but as soon as they're not, those feelings will probably resurface. 

IDK I agree, that is my experience with my Scorpio, but, I DO sometimes worry about his ex's.  Esp the ones that got away.....

VLR, How long have you been together? Does he maintain contact with them? If your relationship is well established, then I don't think you'd have a whole lot to be worried about, but it might be a tough decision if one of these wanted to get back together. I always want a second chance at everything, particularly if I know I've made a mistake and can correct it.

Don't let it cloud your mind. Worrying is like a rocking chair...

As far as I know, he does not talk to any of his other ex's.  And.... I am one of his ex's...lol    From when we were in our mid 20's.  And we have been in contact for many years after we broke up.  He has had girlfriends, I've had boyfriends... but now, that we are older, he seems to be ramping up interest in me which makes me feel good.  I am cautious though.  Trying to keep it on the flirting friends level for now, until I see how it goes.  I am in no hurry and he is not either.   I have actually been trying not take it too fast, as I guess I am scared.  Hell, he might be scared too.  But anyway, I figure if he was not interested, he would not be around me as much as he is.  I guess I should not worry.  Whatever is, is.

''He also seems to think he owns me and that i'm his forever.''

There you have your answer.

I've had exes want to be friends.. often just after we've broken up lol. I say it depends on how you like your friends. If he seems friends material then it may be worth it. But in my experience it wasn't. My friends wouldn't treat me the way my ex ex did so that messed with my mind. It ended for a reason. The more recent ex was delusional in thinking 2 weeks was enough time apart.. plus then he wanted to change us into 1 hr lunch dates. Again with my friends we book time together to go do things. It's almost like dating but not quite. i don't really do 1 hr things with anyone as I like to talk. Maybe if they are just around the corner and not that close to me.

Plus if you're gonna do it make a rule not to talk about your relationship from before. Clean slate. He can deal with that with another friend. Basically you set the rule of how you want to be treated as a friend.. if he does.. then ok.

I can't answer the full question. My ex ex was cancer with moon in scorpio and he'd amputate all the time.. and cling like his life depended on it. the only person he wasn't able to kill or drown was an aqua. I never dated a full scorp.