I am mourning the loss of a pet today. Anyone have any wisdom or kindness for me? She is alive and well but to make a long story short, I'm being forced out of my apartment and could only take one cat to my friend's house. I found a good home, a great person, I know her professionally, but I feel deeply heartbroken and thinking I'll never get over this. Maybe it sounds crazy, but that's how close I am to my animals. I keep telling myself I made the right decision. I felt I had to get her out of the old apartment and fast and an opportunity came up and it felt like fate. Still, it's hard, so hard. I'll even be able to visit her, but still. The life we knew is gone forever. This is also Saturn conjuncting my moon-pluto, in aspect to transiting mars and transiting pluto. Nearly everything I knew of home is up for grabs. I think it was a good Jupiter aspect (luck) that helped find her a good place, but still -- she was my sweet baby.

Can anyone relate?

((moonpluto)) so sorry to hear you have to give up your kitty. I don't know what I would do if I had to give up my Buddy. 

((((((((moonpluto)))))))))

not crazy, at all...i'm so sorry:( 

((((Moonpluto)))) so sorry you're feeling such a sense of loss. Doesn't have to be a death for people to feel grief..glad you will at least be able to see her and wonderful you found her a special, good place too, that's more than a lot of people do with their pets. You know what, she'll always be your sweet baby, and I think you'll get your head around it all soon and that'll ease your heavy heart. Clearly you care deeply, which makes you special too.

((Moonpluto))

((moonpluto ))

I'm sorry to hear this.    I know how painful it is.  (((Moon)))

I had to give a few cats away over the past couple of years.  They just didn't work out, but they found a good home at my mother-in-law's.

A couple of them were born and raised outdoors, and I tried to bring them indoors.  I shouldn't have done that.  One girl kitty howled all the time because she wanted to be outside.  It drove my hubs up the wall, and I gave her to MIL.

(My first kitty was a day outdoor, night indoor cat.  She got scared off by a stray and hit by a car, so I'm now an indoors only owner.  That's where, like I said, I went wrong with a couple of kittys.)

It broke my heart to do it, but the kitties are fine and thriving, so I feel better...slightly.  They always come up to me for snuggles when I go to MIL's.

I will never send a cat to a shelter.  In fact, I rescued a little black sweetie last week, from a family that couldn't keep her or her siblings.

It's hard. I never ever ever thought I wld separate from them. It was unimaginable. I always put them first. These transits in my 1st house are making me put me first -- not comfortable. A few hours later, I'm doing a bit better. Went back to the old apartment (I'm going back and forth between places at the moment) and knew I made the right decision. Had to get her out of there -- I wasn't sleeping there anymore, her life, like mine, had been disrupted. These transits are making me move forward, teaching me lessons in non-attachment/letting go....and I am a clingy Cancerian.

Thanks for writing here, everyone. I just wanted to know that I would get through it because I swear this morning I felt like I would never smile again -- at least not as long as this cat was waiting at the vet (her new person gets her tonight). I think she must be sleeping now because my energy feels lighter --

Outer transits force change to an absurd degree. Saturn, please speed up into Libra. Thank you

MoonPluto- Oh my! I am so sorry that you must be forced to do this. I have been through the exact same thing and have been thinking about what I had to do when the city told me I had to get rid of my little babies.(my kitties)

I too am VERY CLOSE to my Cats, I don't even look at them as cats but furry family members. 

But I still mourn for my kitties and I actually cried about it the last two days and I gave them up 2 1/2 years ago.

I was so distraught when I gave them to an adoption shelter within 3 months of there absence. My partner and I said FUCK IT! They are coming home. We went to to pick up our kitties. Out of 4cats 2 died. Another one had a upper respiratory infection, and we had to pay 120.00 to Re-adopt them. (which is fine, I would have paid double) We took our 2 kitties and dealt with whatever issues. (we were lucky there wasn't one)

So what I am saying is be sure, VERY sure that you can do this. Can't you just say FUCK YOU the cats are coming!!!  Make it work. and if it doesn't then things happen for a reason. And as my partner says, don't cry or be mad, Just think about the good time you had with your kitties. Appreciate them.

***HUGS*** My kitties send there hugs too!

((((((moonpluto)))))))

Moonpluto....my cat paws sends sympathies and understanding your way....you did what you have to do for you right now...I know because I am experiencing the same thing...quite abit of action around me right now and I know that it is for my better good ultimately.  I am so sorry it had to be that way for you...I know you love your cat, but he is in a good, safe place right now...and who knows!, things may change again and he may be back with you or not, but just like you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before child, you had to do this for yourself.  I truly am sorry and wish you good times with the kitty you still have.

Thank you so much for your feedback, all of you, it really helps... i got an email tonight though from her new mama and everything is going well. That's really the most I could hope for although i miss her.  And although i miss her, the life i had with her, with them, is gone-- I am trying not to dwell, which i am SO good at. I can make myself sick over it.  Instead i will let the grief do its thing when it comes up, but not do the self-destructive stuff.  After all, she's in a very good place, the most important thing.....

 Yeah, Bretagne, all this is happening for a reason. Not sure what it is yet -- except to make me more mobile...

Such wise and compassionate people on these boards.   

I had to find a home for my dog during a huge Pluto + Saturn transit several years ago.  My daughter was devastated.  She said "He was my best friend." while sobbing.  It was one of many terrible things I had to do at the time.

*hugs*  I'm so sorry.  Glad kitty is doing well.

Wow Lupa. Yep, pluto/saturn transit. That phrase "one of many terrible things i had to do at the time" -- that about sums it up.... 

((((mp))))  I'm so sorry you had to give her away, but I'm glad you're starting to feel better.  I recently had two of my old kitties die, they'd been in the family for sixteen and seventeen years, respectively.  It's hard, but you'll make it through.  I have faith in you!  (And, if you haven't been reading elsewhere, I have very little faith in anything, so that actually does mean something.  *smiles*)

Moonpluto,

I feel you performed a very brave, loving and evolved action. You knew you had to deal with something, that even though you wish you did not have this to do..you put the welfare of your beloved pet above your own needs and wishes, and blessed and placed her into a new situation that shall be good for her. I know that probably does little to relieve your sorrow right now,yet I do believe it will bring you a peace, in time.

I feel our pets are an extension of our essence.  I do not see them as 'souled' as I do with people, but as pure Spirit we bring forth to enrich our lives..and they do, oh so very much. I see your choice now as an offering to another(her new caretaker) as a gift of pure Spirit..of love, coming forth from you in the form of your beloved pet. What a lovely gift to offer another! 

Many Hugs, and wishes for a speedy healing and the return of lighter days! 

Moonpluto, there was so much sacrifice and loss for me back then and yet I have so much more now than I did before that.  My daughter was 8 back then and she and her brother moved in with their dad.  She lives with me and my husband John now and my youngest son.  We have an ever changing menagerie of animals including the fabulous border collie Cash.  We live in a house we love and I have a career that is more fulfilling than anything I could ever have imagined.  I couldn't have gotten here without going there. 

*hugs*  I hope you find peace with all of the decisions you are forced to make right now and that the light at the end of the tunnel shines bright for you as you move through this.

((((moonpluto))))

I'm sorry...losing a pet is no less than losing an actual human to many people.  When I was in high school my dad became frustrated with our dog (chihuahua) who kept digging a hole under the fence to hang out with the Rotweiler next door everytime we let her outside to pee/poop, get some fresh air.  Our neighbor was very irritated too apparently, so my dad found another nice home for her.  I cried my heart out for a few days, and was mad at him FOR YEARS about it.  Have I even really forgiven him?  hmmmm.  lol.  Nonetheless, I know how painfull it is.  Big hugs to you. <3

((mp))

I know you feel sad, but don't let yourself feel guilty. You did the best thing you could under the circumstances. And maybe your friend who is giving the kitty a home really needs a pet now, for whatever reason.

--Geez....my point was, it was prob best for my dog and everyone involved...as is probably the case for you.  Like Vajra said, don't feel guilty about it.  Your cat KNOWS how much you love him/her, and that you wouldn't put him/her anywhere you don't trust.

I am so touched and humbled by all your responses. What amazing women you are. Back later to say more....
THANK YOU

Vajra, I think you are right. This gal recently had a bad breakup, moved out of the apartment with her one cat and when I sent out an email to many people, she was the first to write back-- she was looking and obviously looking for this cat, my cat -- since that's where she is now. At this point, I probably miss her more than she misses me. That's a good point about not feeling guilty. Bottom line was my life is totally changing at this moment/foundations crumbling and I had to get her out of my old apt and into a good home....

SaDiablo, thank you for your faith. I have not read all the posts but if I remember correctly, you are mourning a relationship -- I am sorry for that, and I wish you healing.

Lupa, wow, you sound like you have been through it and come out the other side. I love hearing how you are in a better place now. It inspires me.

Kachina, your words were so accurate and so soothing, and Shell, thank you for sharing that about your doggie-- I know it was a long time ago, but amazing the things we don't forget

Moonpluto, my heart hurts for you. I am glad you found her a good loving home. She will always be in your heart and feel the love you have for her. I truly believe this.

Peace and Love to you,

Daem

MoonPluto - sorry for your loss.  I lost our favorite cat to death just over a month ago.  I still feel guilty because I thought of her as the favorite (small and purry and sweet and never meowed and slept on my pillow).  That said, I can tell you that the pain will ease and you will remember her with warm feelings and less pain as time goes on.

It really sounds as if the new home she's at NEEDED her and so you can try to think of it in those terms that you are loaning her out to help someone who needs her more than you at this moment in time.  Think of it as you giving a gift and sharing your abundance.  I know, hard, but sometimes reframing can help.  sometimes it doesn't ease the pain as quickly as we'd like either....

As sad as I am about the loss of my favorite kitty I had the wonders of all wonders this last friday when a stray followed me home from work and tried to come in our front door.  She's obviously an indoor kitty that belongs to someone, I'm trying not to fall in love but it's hard.  She's sweet and playful despite being a "big" girl.  Sick with a bad cold and looks as if she's recently lost a LOT of weight.  I suspect her owners may have moved away or something where she's been outside on her own for atleast a few weeks.  While I hope to find the owner I also hope that she can stay with us.  So sometimes there is balance in the change.

I know the healing won't come immediately but if you accept that you miss her it will be easier to heal.  That's been my experience....  hugs.

Mud, why do you feel guilty about your cat?

Nice about the "stray" -- perhaps she is yours......

As for reframing, yes... This cat NEEDED a new, good home and fast, and it happened fast. I'm still a bit in shock over how fast... and trying to make sense of reality...
So weird, all these lessons in non-attachment. And so interesting what stays vs what falls away. And whether we have a choice.

     My own  sweet little girl cat disappeared on  the 21st, and I and the other cat were heartbroken. Lo and behold, I opened the door this morning, and there she was! Somewhat the worse for wear, but all in one piece, all legs and toes intact, no wounds. That is 10 days she was gone, and she is very, very tired. And hungry. Wonder what the astrology of that is?

October27, I had a cat do a similar disappearing act many years ago during a move when I was pregnant with my first child.  I kept going back to look for her and after about the same number of days your cat was missing she showed up again.  I didn't know astrology back then so I'm no help really. 

We have a little black kitten now who's name is Hawk or Hawkeye depending who you ask in the family.  I took him to Catsnip this morning to get neutered.  He was So drunk from the anesthesia when I brought him home.  He was attacking EVERYTHING.  He was mad about that ride to the not fun place I guess.  He seems to have absolutely no idea that anything traumatic happened to him.  If anything they put some spunk into him. 

I brought him home to help one of my toy poodles who was grieving the loss of our little old girl Buffy.  Spike (yes from that show) was devastated, confused and just sad.  He loves kitties so I brought Hawk home.  It worked to distract him.  They love each other.  And we're all pretty fond of the silly little kitten.

((October27)) we had a cat when I was a teenager that disappeared for 6 months then came back, skin and bones. We think she got up in somebody's truck & ended up 100s of miles away and made her way back.

I can definitely relate. The hardest part about it is that you can't explain things to animals with words. When my cat died, I was in a transition period - moving into a strange new place with lots of men and dogs. I had to temporarily relocate Nitty to my parents' because he wasn't adjusting well. Long story short, he was getting sick and I didn't know. My parents have no experience with cats and thought he was "peeing normally" but when I got him into my new house I thought he had a bladder infection or something. I was planning on taking him to see the vet... soon.

Anyway, it turns out he had diabetes but I didn't know until he was at the critical life-or-death stage. Of course it was late on a weekend night that he took a turn for the worse. I had to suffer with him through the night and then drive him to an emergency animal hospital on a Sunday morning. He was limp and lying on the floor, suffering. It was really, really awful.

He was going into ketosis. I had big decisions to make and the vet was rushing me along. Anyway, I ended up putting Nitty to sleep because I was out of work and couldn't afford the treatment for him. The memory of him looking sad and confused in the cage at the vet's office, with the IV in his little paw nearly killed me. I was sitting on the floor with him, practically IN the cage - I would have climbed in there if I could. I was petting him and talking to him softly and crying, and he was wagging his tail - yes - a tail wagger to the very end! And the vet workers were kind of stepping over me, giving me sympathetic looks. When they put Nitty down after 3 or 4 days of me waffling back and forth, everyone there cried with me.

The whole experience haunted me for so long. I'd miss him in my bed and cry, thinking of him alone and scared at night at the vet's office. 

Jeez, this wasn't very uplifting was it. But the thing is - I do know how you feel, having to part with a beloved friend. But at least this way, your cat has a shot at a happy life with some other folks who will love her.

I think pets adjust to that kind of thing better than humans do, you know? So just try not to "humanize" her so much and know she's happy.

Oh dina I'm so sorry...

I know that haunted feeling, even though my cat was only at the vet's for a day and okay. Leaving her there made me heartsick

I'm so sorry for what you went through.

and you are right. The cat is doing well - I'm the one misses her so.

And your cat is in the best place possible. There is no better. I truly believe that.

Thank you to everyone who has been commenting on this post. It helps a lot. I come back to read it when I need to....

It's okay moonpluto... this was quite a few years ago so I'm past it. Nitty was a good boy and yes, he's in a better place. I was really just empathising with your emotions about losing a dear pet and such.

I'm glad that your sweet kitty has a chance for another wonderful person (people) to love her!

October - how is your cat doing?

moonpluto - I took her to the vet, who discovered a displaced hip, and a trauma to the abdomen which called for surgery as she was not eliminating anything, and could not jump or climb. I just talked to the vet and they are keeping her another night, she is still not eliminating. So far she is the most expensive cat I have ever owned.  We think she was hit by a car and went and hid someplace; but what she ate for those 10 days is a mystery.