What do you guys want to hear about today??

Tactics to re-focus the energy of the current doom, gloom and boom in the personal life...(or if it's not possible, should I just get under the blankets now?) Using the astrology of course...

Well, I am loving your series of videos on Saturn-Pluto.... and stories about facing life with courage....

A few weeks back you mentioned you were considering another foray into discussing your ideas about making yourself attractive/attracting others as a potential area of focus for Saturn in Libra (even though you had gotten a lot of grief after a previous effort to get into it years back.)  I hope you still go ahead with that - but maybe you were thinking of it as a topic for the colosseum rather than blog?  I don't remember now.

Crackers. I do like that topic and what I was thinking at the time was that I would pull up my old writing and post it because I thought it was wonderful of course. ::smiles:: Funny and rude because I had no filter at all back then.

Unfortunately when I dug it up, I saw the same problems with it now as it had then - that is every time I posted something the people would react in extreme ways and what I thought at the time was that the only way to do it was put all my thoughts on the subject into something long and cohesive (a book) so that at least if people were going to yell at me, they would have the whole body of work instead of stoning me or quizzing me to death over 3 paragraphs.

In other words, I am too provocative and believe it or not, it's not intentional.

The fact is I am interested in mating, like crazy and I grew up in a bar (as the bartender, sober) so watched interaction between men and women EIGHT hours a day for years.

Then I went out and studied this stuff for at least another decade and I drew some conclusions during this time.  Thing is my conclusions piss people off... which is understandable seeing as I have MARS in Libra.  But for the same reason (Mars in Libra) I really don't like the upset so I just shut the fuck up, sort of like the soldier.

People don't really want to know what we know, at least not unless it's super watered down and has doilies under it and this is a lot of work for someone like me.

I really am a raw sort of person - ya'll just ask a lot of Nell, I don't know what else to say.

 I can barely write this blog anymore, I disagree with so many of you.  I mean, I am trying like hell but I am just so outnumbered.

I feel I make sense... I am pretty sure my thoughts are solid and very deeply rooted but I am not really interested in being a controversial figure. 

I am am "helping" person, actually. It is really all I care to do and I feel I am losing my ability to do this in the "open".

By that, I mean I can still consult with people one on one but the pack here is so large and hungry and angry and whatever... it is not a reflection on the specific people here but of SOCIETY at large. people want someone to blame and to punch and poke and hunt and kill and I really don't want to be her.

I have tried over the last days to describe my feelings, my reality and the conditions I live in and if anyone internalized any of that, then perhaps you can see what I mean.  I am in acute conditions here in many ways.

See, these days the news provokes. Stories are created to stir controversy and while it may appear I am like this, I am actually not.

The things I believe and broadcast are almost always carefully considered and deeply rooted. This is for real, so a person like me is not really equipped to deal with an angry mob. There is no pay off in that for me, see? Not financially, not emotionally, not in anyway at all.

Even if it paid $ it would not be worth it. I am way too real and earthy to ever be a figurehead which is what people are trying to make me into at the moment.

Go read "one car family". That is what is real.

I can sum it up simply with this line / concept from Brad Pitt's Legends Of The Fall: 

I don't want to be the rock people bang themselves against.

the depth of this?  I can't find the words for it.

I'll try, and I'll come back in a bit.

I have read this twice - I think I hear you.  I'm sure I'm not hearing all you are saying, of course.

 Care for yourself and your family first, always.  In my reading, you sound exhausted.

 P.S. If you ever determine that a "pay for access" forum in order to hear your thoughts on topics that are likely to provoke controversy would offer you enough protection from the angry mob for you to continue, I would be interested in that.  I know I will get from you a perspective I could not have gotten otherwise.  

I hope this doesn't sound callous, but if something had no/little payoff for me and was making me feel bitter, I would stop doing that thing if at all possible.

I post here frequently, and so I obviously read here frequently, too. And I enjoy it. But that doesn't mean I am in favor of this continuing if it is not working for you. It would make me feel parasitic to say "oh, please don't stop, I love it" if I am advocating something that is not working for the other person. Where I'm coming from is a feeling that asking this is akin to saying "oh, please keep hurting yourself, I like the results." Because I can see how it would be problematic. I mean, even if I could tip $10,000 (which I can't), that would create some payoff, but it wouldn't get rid of the "angry mob" factor.

I hope this doesn't sound rude or like I don't give a shit. I don't mean that at all. I was more meaning to say that I believe your personal concerns are valid and, though I wish there was a way I could mitigate that, I don't see a way. Maybe someone else can see a way, though.

I had to re-read that a couple times too, it made my heart break. ((Elsa))

Well the foundation is cracked so maybe the structure comes down? I really don't know, I am reporting as I go.

User, the "bitter feelings" you mention must be your own?  I don't feel bitter.

Hi Elsa,

Two items here........1) as far as your writing and putting it on the blog, I see your conumdrum.  If you could put it up in long installments,  have people pay per installment or the whole book.......and have them sign a waiver, they won't give you flack.......just kidding ........ask for the solution to come to you in a dream.

2)  Uranus going direct, I have had it in my 7th house, and it's hard for me to tolerate it there........just info that could help us all in our day to day lives.......maybe it's not that big a deal.

I suppose you can't have your cake and eat it too: you can't be 'raw' without expecting it to engage a response. I like your writing a lot, even though I sometimes disagree-

(perhaps the only assertions I don't like are your 'people don't want to know what I know'-posts. Please don't tell me I am not interested in what you have to say. I AM interested, that's why I read here.)

I do hope you find a way to do it that brings you satisfaction

ambidee, I am not trying to have my cake and eat it too.

For Godsakes can you not read?

Sometimes I look at the things people write back and forth to each other, especially here, and I just have no idea what anyone actually means. You'll see two people in agreement on something, and I'm thinking damn. Do they really agree, or do they just think they agree?

Or you see someone make some remark to something left or right wing politically, and it's actually a completely cryptic remark that could virtually mean ANYTHING, conservative OR liberal.

I'll read something like what Shannon wrote, "The depth of this" etc. and if you were to ask me to take a pop quiz on what she's thinking I would just fail!

For instance, right now I wonder if Elsa and Ambidee are eating the same cake. Perhaps one is eating the cake, another has the cake and is not eating it, another already ate the cake, another never had any cake at all, and one person here is eating a filafel and a pita.

The internet is a very strange place indeed.

Elsa, you say, "I disagree with so many of you."

I am pretty sure this is not the ideal time to ask you questions at all... but I just wonder who and in what way?

Besides, kinda funny but I thought I was the one who thought differently than everyone here.

And just what do I mean by "funny." Maybe I don't even know.

Bananas - I kind of get what you're saying.  And part of my comment above is subtext that you might not know.  I'm known for being pretty chatty, and for being deliberate in my word choice.  The fact that I couldn't come up with the words is part of the indication of how deep this post runs.

I don't know if that make sense but I hope it does.

The other part of it is, as someone else said:  if something had little to no payoff for me, I would stop doing that thing as soon as possible.  And I agree with that sentiment, and here's the deal:  I support Elsa in doing whatever she wants and thinks is best in her life - I mean, that seems obvious to me, but I want to point it out because of this next part.  If Elsa stops doing this blog, the quality of my life will change.  (By the way I am certain I am not alone in this; I am not certain, however, if everyone affected realizes it.)  Plain and simple fact, this site is something I value greatly and learn a great deal from.  This community is one I like and can be myself in.  Those are both positives in my life, and therefore this site is a positive in my life and I value it.

So I can't say "oh please don't stop doing this site" because it's not my choice to make, you know?  But I can say I will support it as long as Elsa is here and I will miss it when it goes, whenever that may be.

Dunno if any of that helped, or if it's clear as mud now.  

Well, maybe Elsa should make this a private paid forum for $8 per month per person, leave some content public to drive traffic, and give people the feeling that they're getting "therapy with an astrology twist" for peanuts compared to what they'd pay for a counselor or coach, plus they get instant friends to boot.

And then maybe one day she can host an Elsa Retreat in the desert for a select few, and charge for that too.

I don't know, just stuff flying around in my head.

Bananas, I think things are more likely to be taken in a different way than they were intended on the internet, because so many of the "cues" that happen in face to face communication are missing. Or even phone to phone communication. They say 80% of communication is nonverbal, so it's hard to get everything across when writing and some emoticons is all you have to work with.

Elsa, I apologize if my choice of the word "bitter" offended you. FWIW, although I have had my share of bitterness, I don't have any in this area. At least that I know of, anyway.

Comment # 6

Sorry Elsa, I didn't mean to offend you. I chose the wrong words. What I was trying to convey is that if you are a controversial figure (even if you don't mean to be), you cannot NOT be a controversial figure.

" if you are a controversial figure (even if you don't mean to be), you cannot NOT be a controversial figure."

Yes, you can. You can not be a "figure" at all, but a human being with a regular life in which case the people who want a controversial figure will find another person to throw up, shoot down and otherwise project on to.

I said sorry and I meant it.

Well I don't  think that obligates me, ambidee. Especially when I am unable to internalize your words and I am unable to internalize  your words.

See, I think you're the controversial figure and I am a human being. 

You want to stand and point at me, well this is what it is like when someone stands and points at you.  Like it?

Ugh!

I hate it when people point fingers! Even though that person deserves to be pointed at (not you Elsa), it's so "higher than thou" and pretentious I hate it. And it makes me even more disgusted if those people pointing are hipocrits!

Yes. Toni, it's Harper Valley PTA all over again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOZPBUu7Fro

Ambidee seems pretty mild to me.

(The opinions in my post are solely the opinions of User, and may or may not reflect the opinions of this station, or anyone else.)

I've not been around here long enough to understand the vitriol, from Elsa or from anyone else. It's obvious something is blocked somewhere - colon, psyche or heart - and it needs to be unblocked. Some of that is going on right now but it's only surface stuff. I appreciate Elsa - for what I know of her - for her direct style, not dancing around an issue and I think mayhaps that some are taking it personally. I don't think Ambidee's comments were vicious at all; she was responding in the style to which she is accustomed.

"Have your cake and eat it, too" is a cliche. She closes by saying how much she appreciates Elsa. To me, it's all good. I get the sense that everyone is worried that the place they express themselves honestly and without fear will disappear. I also get the feeling that you are tired, Elsa, overworked, overstressed to the point that you feel like an an injured animal trapped in a corner.

Would a solution be to delegate? To have other, trusted members of the family take on some of the load. I don't know what all's involved but there must be some tasks that are easily delegated. Or, it could be something like opening up the company to members and selling shares. I don't know. What I do know is that you, Elsa, need a break, time to re-evaluate, reconstruct and prioritize. I hope you are able to do that because I like it here; it has opened my mind and my creativity...

Larry offers me a perfect example to illustrate how different (and likely unpopular) my views are.

When I left the remarks for ambidee this morning, my thought was she should tip me for them. Yeah, I thought I was doing her a favor and everyone else here too for that matter.

I still think this (from the shadow).

Thanks user and Larry. For anyone who still believes me I meant no harm. For anyone who believes otherwise, there's apparently nothing I can change about that.

It's more about miscommunication and not understanding each others 'language', than there is an actual rift.. (in my opinion)... It's blown out of proportion entirely.

ambidee, I believe you when you say you didn't mean any harm. I think Elsa is just a little pissed off at some people right now so I wouldn't take it personally.

Dear God does my Pisces rising want people to get along badly! Lol.

And Bananas...I think I'm eating a pita ;-) ;-) No more cake for me today- seems a pretty explosive thing to eat :-)

"When I left the remarks for ambidee this morning, my thought was she should tip me for them. Yeah, I thought I was doing her a favor and everyone else here too for that matter."

Perhaps I can grok this. I find that you have shown me how to listen to what another is saying from solely their perspective.. which is respect. That the rest is projection and personal reaction. In this way we learn more about the reality of astrology rather than the theory of it. And the reality of ourselves vs the projection and lies we tell ourselves. Since I learned how to interact from this awareness, it has been improving my relationships with people and stress and unhappiness eased. It was the aid in unlocking the psych I give you credit for. Since saturn has been in libra I find it's slipping. Quickly. And maybe when you're away it creeps back up. Then when you say something the reactions are different.. much different.. and much less meaty. And much more attacking and reactionary to the words. I can only guess because I've been agreeing and mediating .. and lol .. much less happy after spending time here. It's fun. Like candy. But not a meal.. and so distracting me from my reality instead of aiding me in it. Maybe it's set to implode under the pressure? I guess we'll see.

Look. ambidee has been around here for a long time. She habitually offers her opinion,  criticism and judgment of me which is never solicited. I find this OPPRESSIVE. I find if OFFENSIVE. I thought if I turned the tables someone might learn something.

I also don't like her telling me what I can say (even if she says please -ugh). 

Do I tell ambidee what she should say?

Do I read her comments and rate them?

Well I do now. 

It's horrifying isn't it?

Wow. If everyone is saying what they think, it's too mild. There should be more swearing. It's like we're fighting politely. Hell, let it all hang out! Elsa, I know you can do better than that! Rip her face off! Everyone, fire away! It's obvious some things need to be said and what better way of doing that is shooting from the hip. The emotional level here is unbelievable.

Elsa, it sounds as though some things have really been building up. Now that you're on a roll, let it all out. Like I said earlier, I have no history here so I just walked into this gunfight. I only throw water balloons now but I wear a bullet proof vest. Everyone can shoot at me and never make a dent.

What the HELL is grok!? It sure is an ugly word..

Furthermore, if any of you here wrote a blog like this where ambidee came and ate, fed voraciously on a daily basis and every once in awhile decided to rate your ass, I am pretty sure you'd have a similar response as mine. What is crazy is how you can see her do this to me and have it be okay but if I do it to her, I am a witch.

There seems to be a widely held opinion that if you write a blog, you are required to eat shit. I don't agree with this opinion. I have different rules (Saturn) of decorum (Libra) and another thing that strikes me is this:

This whole thread sprung out of someone's question around being attractive. ::smiles::

And just the other day, satori, who likes how she behaves in relationship thanked me. She said she learned to be a decent person in relationship by being in a relationship with me over the last 7 years. Hmmm.

My take on this is that ambidee has an opportunity to see the very negative response her behavior in relationships inspires. She can learn something here of or she can lay on the ground like some big ol' mean bus just ran over her but I ain't buyin' it.

She's been stickin' her knife in me for five years. And I am supposed to appreciate this? Well I don't.

I am not a motherfuckin' scarecrow standing up here for you to judge and poke. If you do it to me, you do it to others and then you want to know why you have problems in relationship?

I see ambidee has taken the victim position. That will get her absolutely nowhere and in another spot of irony the person who can get her "somewhere" is me or someone like me.  Funny that.

Seems like I outstayed my welcome...  I am not going to argue about the interpretation of my comments. It wasn't personal (I really like this blog!-well I used to until today), and I stand by what I said before- I meant no harm.

Thanks Elsa & community for years of entertainment.

 And boom. Can't say that I blame Elsa.  Since I haven't noticed the exchange until today.. and have been feeling my own personal version of this just recently.. I didn't see it coming. Unsolicited advice, opinion, criticism IS oppressive.. and getting more rotten cloaked in 'niceness'. Oh boy.

"What the HELL is grok!? It sure is an ugly word.."

It is isn't it. I think it's from a book. I used it here because i think of it as a combination of thinking and intuiting.. grasping something. 

"What the HELL is grok!? It sure is an ugly word.."

It's from Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land". He invented the word. It meant to understand in an intuitive, holistic way. Huge cult classic in the 60's.