I talk to a lot of people who had poor role models when it comes to their opposite sex parent. This problem with the opposite sex parent seems to cause them to make poor choices when it comes to relationshps with others.  I, myself, had a very bad role model in my father which caused  me to choose some very bad men in my life when it came to relationships.  I had to have a ton of therapy to learn to choose better men for myself and how to manage my relathionships better in general.

Was your opposite sex parent a poor role model?  Did this or has this affected your relationships?  In what way has it affected your relationship choices?

My mom served up her cougar girlfriends to me, told me to marry a girl with small hands, and taught me how to be domestic.

I would say she was a good role model only because I was able to pick out the wrong, add the right, and mix together my own style of living life.

ha ha, VA, I know your mother was a poor role model for me!  She showed me what NOT to do in many cases! Growing up together gave us the same female role model to figure out.

I agree @Annalisa!

I am glad you had therapy because even though I recognise the impact of this, I can't change the mind set. I wouldn't even know where to start, so it goes on & on...

I believe, in most cases, you get stuck with an "imprint". It can be so ingrained it takes half your life to even notice it's there!!

I envy people with good role models. Though I have come accross few

Yes he was a poor role model. It definitely had a big effect on relationships that I had and the men that I chose.

I had a verny poor one, so I decided when I was younger he died. Because he wasn't in my life for a long time. He still isn't. However I did make a few bad choices, but I learnt from them. Needless to say, I did have a few good male role models and that carried me through my life. The strong male influence in my earlier childhood, taught me a lot (Pisces Man) and was a positive influence and now the person I'm currently dating is very much like him. He has Pisces Mars. Go figure?

My father was a very good role model for how to behave in the broader culture, taught me how to be a citizen, as it were. He's a Pisces with Virgo rising and a Leo moon. He was not a good role model in a couple of other ways. He hates himself, though he is a lovely man. And I had to unlearn that and it's hard!

Growing up thinking my grandmother was my mother and my mother was older sister was bad enough, but throw in thinking my grandfather was my father and then finding out my birth father doesn't even know about me?

Oy vey.

BUT - my step father showed me the type of men NOT to be with. I did however find that earlier in life I was in relationships only because they showed me attention, not because I was truely connected to them.

I think my dad was a pretty good role model. There must have been something going on though because I still make poor choices when it comes to romance.

Mine was awful :(

Today I see him as human, and very flawed. That is the only way I was ever able to get past it. And for a long time I had the worst, absolute worst, boyfriends.

My dad wasn't around much growing up.  Now he regrets it.  He's a great man, though he tends to worry a lot (Virgo).  Similar to Caroline's experience, I don't know what happened to me.

My dad was absent most of my life.He lives abroad so I only got to see him once a month, now even less.When he'd come over to visit we didn't talk much because a) I was a shy kid in front of strangers (and I considered him one) and b) he doesn't know how to communicate. His mother messed him up in another way.

I became very aware of the impact such a relationship with my father had on me.So I've been working on it, trying to be aware of my setbacks and trying to neutralize the impact.My biggest setback is that I am a bit afraid of men.I don't know how to act around them, and I'm afraid that they will make fun of me (something my dad used to do quite often).

My dad is an excellent role model. Not my type though.. so that's been confusing. ex: how to be happy with my type and not expect them to be like my dad. :P But I can see how holding an expectation of being treated well by men has really helped in who I attract. I generally attract good men because I expect them to be. Men in my family haven't cheated (to my knowledge). So when there is a whisp of the cheating gene I walk. Just don't understand it really. Nor do I understand them leaving the relationship - dad had tons of space within the relationship - as did mom - so that's what i pattern with.

Aqua ruled 4th with moon trine uranus and uranus square saturn and saturn in cancer. = structure AND freedom.

If anything, no man could live up to my dad.  He's a Scorpio, the Eagle or Dove type.

When it came to relationships with the opposite sex, both parents were very poor role models. My father is a dyed in the wool sexist. He cheated on my mother. He left her after 10 yuears of marriage with six young children due to an affair with an 18 year old employee. My mother was always looking for a man to rescue and take care of her.  Her second husband was an alcoholic man twenty years older who actually had more debt than her. Her third husband was a physically abusive who took all of her assets. For the most part, all of their children avoided their mistakes. My brother has been with his wife for 37 years. I have been with my husband 30 years. Two of my siblings had two marriages. One has never married. But for the most part, we as children knew that our parents were not making good choices.

No, he was very good. And made me want to be with a man just as good.

Actually he was mostly pretty awesome.  And for the rest, well he's a Taurus with a Cancer moon.  He and I were bound to butt heads, no?  *grin*

Crappy. While I think this has affected how I APPROACH men, my type is totally different from him (though there are some similarities). I think I've been able to see what I need through not getting it from him. If that makes sense.

Mom was the only one of my parents that I wanted anything to do with for the longest time. Mom's side of the Family , although poor , gave much in time and materials. As a kid , this meant more to me than the world. Pisces in 7th.... I stand by people who show great kindness to me.

My father was a wonderful role model for me.  He and my mom just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last Summer and they are just as much 'in love' with eachother now as they were 50 years ago (if not more).

I still managed to make some pretty poor choices with partners when I was younger, but I chalk that up to having Uranus in my 10th Ruled by Leo and my Venus in Aries.  ;-)  Finally, I did find the 'right man for me' and yes, he's very much like my father.

ETA: My father's Sun and mine are only 3 degrees from eachother's in Aries.

My dad is a jackass with amnesia. He forgets what he's done done to me and in front of me, and behaves as if I've slighted him; because I haven't chased after him in hopes of having a relationship. why ? So he can reject me ? Thanks to him, I'm terrified of men. He had his good points, but they were'nt prominent enough to help me make better choices with partnering. I was wired to attract a perpetual (emo) adolescent, thanks to him.

My parents failed marriage taught me what I did NOT want in a relationship.  I went out looking for something very different from what they had, and definitely found it, with varying degrees of actual relationship success.

My dad was mostly non-involved from when I was 8 years old onwards.  My first forays into the world of relationships went pretty badly, but I'm not sure that's his fault.  Maybe I would have known better if he'd been around & cared more about his kids, but hey, spilt milk.

I didn't meet my dad til I was 3, and I think that shaped my relationship to men in that I think of them more as after the fact accessories, rather than necessity. My father did expose me to lots of life and culture and I got my street smarts from him but I still have a lot of rage toward him because of how he treated me once I got older. My relationship toward men is complicated probably as a result of this. I have Sun Sq Pluto so it makes sense.

My father wasn't a good role model in most ways, except for financially. He was very good with money and managed to accumulate it by investments and real estate. Otherwise, no; he was abusive, had terrible communication skills, and dealt with conflict by sulking and glaring until finally exploding in rage long after the event.

He had Sun semisquare Mars and also exactly inconjunct Saturn.

I've had several relationships where the man didn't seem to value me very much, and it's been a struggle to find men who *do*. Only one of my boyfriends was physically abusive, though, and I've never put up with that -- at the first sign of it I'm gone permanently.

I would say conservatively that my opposite sex parent was a poor role model in most ways, especially in terms of how to have a healthy happy relationship with others. He is a Libra Sun Leo Moon, possibly with Scorpio rising, and he is one of the last people I would look to for sound relationship advice.

We have Sun opposite Venus going both ways, and his NN conjuncts my SN in Capricorn. And my Mars conjuncts his Sun.

I think that it impacted how I see relationships, but then, I can't imagine spending 18 yrs of one's life with someone from birth to adulthood, and it not impacting me on how I see the world, and my place in it. He did his best, but he's still a manipulative, selfish, childish creature that never really grew up as far as I can tell.

I looked to him to know what I didn't want, and learned what not to do in a relationship from him firstly. Then I figured out what I did want as an individual for myself when I moved out at 18. : )

My father was a good role model for me, growing up. I believe that this led me to choose men who treated me well. I like nice guys, not the "bad boys."

Several of my closest women friends had absent fathers, and I feel bad for them that they're continually settling for much less than they deserve and still searching for that "father figure."

I would say that my father also was a good role model for me. Granted he's an Aquarius and he's definitely a detached one. So emotionally it wasn't the best but he did a good job regardless I believe.
He taught me how to value myself and he always treated me well. And most important, he was always there.. and still is!

However, my mother was a very poor role model for me so I had (still do) to figure out what it is to be a woman.. My dad could definitely not teach me that!

My Dad was, and is, a great role model.  I have never thought about it, but I married a man very much like him.