It is clear to me at this point I am an anti-bride if there ever was one.  I don't want to say, why do they make you suffer so, just to get married but I realize many people like this process. Me? I am trying to get out as much of it as I possibly can, I am just not cut out for any of this and have great pains trying to pretend otherwise.

The soldier didn't help when he told me a couple weeks ago he did not want people to think we were like Dora getting married but fact is I AM like Dora getting married.  Dora is a skittish dog.  She is definitely skittish and while she looks mild mannered you rub her the wrong way and she WILL bite you and bite you hard so you remember

In whatever case, I ordered flowers today, double the trouble because when I went to the florist I had in mind, I found them CLOSED - FINI.

I hate the way my neighborhood is dying but anyway I got the flowers ordered and I contacted a Spanish speaking gal at Quirky Aquarian's school so we can attempt to pick him up in the middle of the day so we can make it to our wedding. Not sure how that part is going to work yet but we'll figure it out next I guess.

"I hope you don't run out on me," I told the soldier. "This is a lot of trouble."

"Me run out on you? I am Stonewall ___________. You're Run-Out-The-Roon Panizzon."

I laughed because it's so true.

Last week he said he was wondering how many times  I would threaten to divorce him once we were married. I didn't answer because that is certain to happen, probably as a matter of routine, right up until we're in the old folks home, I'm sure.  He'll be sitting there and one of the other old bastards will come tell him, "P's talkin' about how she's sick of you, gonna divorce your ass. Better go get her..."

Uranus never sleeps.

Oh Elsa, you make me laugh!!! It'll be wonderful - keep dancing, that'll use up the jitters!

Every time I see that dog I laugh a little bit. I look forward to being partial witness to your new life as anti-bride and wife of the love of your life!

The funniest personals ad I ever saw said "Looking for someone to complain about."