Hello all, this is my first post here. Long time reader of Elsa's site, and now I'm grappling with an issue I'm really curious to hear your thoughts on. I've been trying to figure this one out for a long time, and would love some help. 

What to do when one’s husband/lover isn’t into astrology
and I am? I mean, he’s actively AGAINST it. He almost goes as far as to pity me that I find astrology very helpful. (Yikes! That hasn't happened with ANY other aspect of my character with him, so it doesn't fit our pattern of interaction at all.)His reaction to astrology is an anomaly (he's interested in everything else under the sun, and open-minded, tolerant, deep, and so forth), but it's really entrenched; there's no reasoning with him about this subject. In fact, I think he gets genuinely sick to his stomach when he hears I got something out of looking into a bit of astrology.

Of course, I could be quiet about it, but here’s the thing: the insights I get from astrology are as important to me as my core beliefs and values. I don’t want to leave them out of my most intimate relationship. Especially since he loves to talk psychology with me, and we talk about everything else, and the most intimate things.

My question is, have you generally seen a type of astrological makeup that accounts for being hostile to astrology?

Someone with alot of 10th house? I think I'm wrong.

Or maybe strict aspects to Saturn.

Hmmm, maybe does he have a lot of fixed signs in his chart?

next time he disses astrology, you could always tell him "You're so rigid - something must be transiting Uranus." 

har har, I wouldn't be able to resist 

Fixed.... yeah. He's a Scorpio sun with Leo ascendant, and moon in Aquarius. Wow! very fixed indeed. (But why would a fixed person be against astrology per se; couldn't they just as easily be stubbornly for it?) 

Also, in his 10th house he only has Uranus, in Taurus. Would that be a telling sign?  (By the way, what are the indications for being INTO astrology? Aquarius and Uranus stuff, I think...?)

Vajra,

Yeah, I can't resist bringing the stars up all the time, anyway. I just plow on ahead. He just ignores that, unless i make an issue of trying to engage him on it, and then he starts feeling repelled....

Oh, and Uranus is transiting his 8th house now, about to come right on top of his Jupiter in Pisces. Could that be a turning point for us on this issue? 

Jeez. If it were me I'd ask him what it was hurting and then tell him to sit down an shut up. LOL

My Super Virgo dad with 5 planets in the sign will not even glance at astrology and he's a pretty intellectual guy too - HUGELY into astroNOMY, by the way, which I find funny.

Amazingly 4 of those 5 Virgo planets are in his 12th house - he has strong values, religious conviction and is generally conservative. I doubt anyone would be able to convince him astrology could ever be reconciled with Christianity. (Mayyybe another devout Christian he respected but I'm just theorizing). I once printed out a chart interpretation for my mom from Cafe Astrology a few years ago and he saw me underlining some things and proceeded to whip out his Bible and point out the "nor shall you practice divination or soothsaying" passages, etc. acting VERY concerned as he did so (it was hilarious but I didn't laugh. Just let him go right ahead and 'enlighten' me). I second the stubbornness of Fixed Signs possibly playing a role here, he has Scorpio Moon exactly conj. Neptune. 

I like these "anti"-astrology discussions - interesting to look at both sides of the coin because it took me awhile to get to a point to where I could put stock into it. Now, well, it's indispensable...

I'd think it would be taurus or capricorn or virgo.. depending.. BUT I think it's your guy's moon in aquarius and uranus in taurus. His "oracle" would be the earth not the stars. And I think you should leave this be. There is no need for him to have astrology in his life. If you have insights then have insights but there's no need to link it to astrology.. unless he asks of course.

If you want to try to get him to connect the two.. it is believed that the moon is actually a chunk of earth broken off by a meteor and whipped into space where it gradually is drifting out into space. Also astrology is about the gravitational pull of planets on us here on earth - it's energy - and is as real as feeling grounded when walking on the ground. 

I agree with Liz.  My family and most of my friends may never get to decide for themselves how invaluable of a tool astrology can be, because they already think it's bogus, just for fun or a system of cult-like beliefs - but it's their decision.

It's difficult to learn how to translate "astrospeak" into everyday terms and Elsa's blog helps so much. It would be nice if I could talk about it without really mentioning planets and the like so any insights I have wouldn't automatically go in one ear and out the other  :)

Interesting about the earth 'oracle' idea.... And about Francetta's dad. Unlike him, my guy is actively against any religion - though he can respect others about being religious, I don't think he could ever bring himself to pair up with an actively practicing religious person. Hmm. 

The problem with just telling him my insights without the astro references is that I'm often advising him to time things a certain way - don't do this during that week, that thing will get resolved after such and such a date, etc. - and he won't just take my word for it. He really likes my opinion on such things, and he actively solicits them. But then he always wants to know WHY. And it's not just about timing, but he'll even do this for my general insights (geesh!). I sometimes try to reply, 'I just have an intuition about it'. But he'll keep pressing: how do you KNOW? Why are you so certain? Where did you read this? Etc. Etc.

As to what harm he thinks astrology does, he thinks it's being superstitious. And he values the life of the mind so much, and deeply wants to keep his belief that I have a lot of intelligence, that he hates to see that I might be in the grips of what he takes to be a totally debunked enterprise. I've been upfront with him about being into this since the very beginning of our relationship 14 years ago, so it isn't new; yet somehow he never integrated this knowledge into his idea of me. He's embarrassed for me. I can sort of understand him, because I kind of feel the same way about superstitions. Obviously, I don't think astrology done right is about superstition. But I guess I'd have a hard time if he was into worshiping bugs or something, and got ideas about what to do in life based on the marks they might leave in a sandbox... 

Come to think of it, I do see his opposition to astrology to be based on superstition, since he is not open to evidence that he might be wrong about it.

Aren't Aquarian moons supposed to be really tolerant of other belief systems?

Welcome, Steph B!

"Aren't Aquarian moons supposed to be really tolerant of other belief systems?"

Not really. They have a 'do what you want' mentality but they are fixed in their own way. And they will rebel. So the more you try to get him to do something based on what he has decided is bunk he will rebel because it isn't what he believes but more than that it isn't how he experiences life.  It's hardwiring. ESPECIALLY with uranus - his moons ruling sign - in taurus. That's like locked in forever. He will rebel by being grounded and loving things that are taurus - houses, earth, good food, things that stand the test of time. It's so NOT astrology lol which looks to the future.

So I'd say stop flagging him with astrology - it's just getting him to see red and charge. 

And tell him you are going to stop bugging him about astrology because you know it isn't his way but that you find something of value in it. So he should just leave you be. Unless you start boiling eyes of nute on the full moon har har.

Thanks, Elsa!

 Liz,

You've summed up really well what my experience is of my DH over all these years. 

"with uranus - his moons ruling sign - in taurus. That's like locked in forever. He will rebel by being grounded and loving things that are taurus - houses, earth, good food, things that stand the test of time. It's so NOT astrology lol which looks to the future."

So I guess I got my answer: it's all the fixed signs, along with uranus in the earth and fixed sign Taurus.  And he SO does love good food, his home, beauty, art, and the present. 

I'm going to let him off the hook on this. As it is, he does say that it's okay that I value astrology and get a lot out of it. He just can't stand being reminded that I really do.