I have spoken to a few ladies over say 43-44 who just really don't worry about birth control. Yes, I know technically there is some minute chance something could happen, but all the info says it's really unlikely and in most cases over that age you would need IVF if you actually tried to get pregnant. Plus, you really don't hear about people that age getting knocked up. If it were so risky, you'd hear about it.

I'll be 45 soon and I'm thinking that I'd like to just enjoy my last hormonally balanced years going with the monthly libido surges before I get to menopause. (You can have bad eggs and still ovulate). In general we have been somewhat careful for 2-3 days a month (withdrawl) but I am sure we've been off a day here and there. I just don't feel that hysteria like with teenage/20 yr old sex- I think a lot of women are upset by not being fertile so they are over anxious and over careful when statistically the risk isn't there.

So, 40-somethings, what do you think? Are you lax and not worried, or holding on to fertility and vigilant?

i stopped worrying about birth control when i had my tubes tied at 26. even then it took some time to get over it. the constant freak out, i mean. because really... every time you have sex, condom or not, you just never freaking know. if that sperm wants to get that egg, it will DO IT. 

Since I could'nt ever seem to AVOID getting pregnant (I have four kids), I won't stop concerning myself with BC until I've completely ceased my menses, which still seems a few years off, for me. Since my eggs ( and those of most 48 y/o's) are well past their 'use by date', there are often some pretty dire consequences to pregnancy, so late in the game. Better safe than sorry !

I'll stop worrying about it 3 years after menopause. So I've got about 20 more years to ride the diaphragm.

 ride the diaphragm.

damn some of you make me shake my little belly.

swear to the godesses, if i win a million (which is titchy since i don't buy lottery) you are all on flight to the northwest territories. ALL OF YOU!

Sometimes I hate myself for resorting to emoticons.

Splashing in the data pool...  *wadewadesploosh!*

I'm only 33, but since I don't want chilluns I figure I'll be worrying about birth control until menopause.  Would LOVE to get my tubes tied, but stoopid docs around here won't do it (plus I've had a lot of people say not to b/c of weird complications).

Sperm is my enemy!

Ok... that's from an STD point of view. If I were in a steady relationship, I'd probably still be pill popping cause I wouldn't want to deal with the fall out, so to speak. As @le soleil said, better safe than sorry.

I guess the best way to make the decision is to work it the OTHER way... if I DID get pregnant, how would I feel? What would I do? & depending on what you conclude, take it from there...

I better watch out then and keep my gold fish tucked under the seaweed if you know what i mean.

Seems like it's so easy to get preggo.

In my family women still have children in the late 40s.  I worked with some women that also had children in their late 40s.  All without hormonal help.  Mom called them "change of life babies".  More than one kind of change!!  

I've read fertility goes up in the late 40s.  It appears to be true among women I know.  It can be a shock to find out that "menopause" was pregnancy. 

To answer your question, mid 50s.  The average age for menopause is 52.  

When I'm in a manogamous relationshp and have an IUD.

Sooo....30. :P

Women can and DO get pregnant in their 40s! It's not that uncommon, and it's a great shock to most women who do. Some have abortions and get depressed as a result, some risk a Down's Symdrome baby, and even those who have a normal and 'wanted' baby find their plans for later life thrown into disarray. Having a baby / infant / small child is above all immensely tiring, and it's much harder to manage without sleep in your forties than in your twenties! Having a teenager or kid to support through college when you are 60+ is not funny.

So don't risk it. If you're over 40 it's much easier to get your tubes tied, esp if you already have kids, though if married you might have to get your husband's written argreement. I had mine done at 41, after my separation. No regrets at all - it took a huge hassle out of my life. I was in discomfort for a few days - felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach by a horse! - but once that went, I was thrilled. I might have had a slightly early menopause as a result - 48/49.

Before that I'd had a coil or rather a succession of them, from my mid twenties until I was 40. Highly recommended! - but you do have to get them changed periodically or they can become infected. Before that I was on the pill, which I disliked for various reasons, esp the way it made my boobs swollen (I had quite enough boobs already), also mood swings etc.

I got pregnant at 19 using the withdrawal method - never again... It's just not reliable.

Every man I have been with for the the last 10 years has had a vasectomy.

I would worry about pregnancy until I completed menopause.  As some are saying here, women in their forties DO get pregnant and if that is not something you are prepared for I would use a birth control method you can rely on to keep you safe!

I got my tubes tied this year as my birthday present to myself.  It is so nice not to have to worry... about pregnancy, anyway.

The likelihood for having twins is much higher after age 35. So's a Downs baby.

What Annalisa said. Just because it's not likely doesn't mean that a miracle baby might not happen anyway. If you are cool with an unexpected miracle baby in your 40's, then by all means, drop the BC. If you're not, then don't.

Well, I've been in menopause for 2 years, so I think I'm probably safe. But I would still worry about it, isn't that funny???

All I can think of is....geezo pete, I don't have the energy to be running after a kid! I'm afraid the Universe would think it would be a cool joke.

In a way this topic is like a lot of others in that there is a huge divide between what is a real statsitical probability and the perceived probability-- and that was what I was trying to get at. In a larger sense, you guys have seen this operating, right? People are afraid of one thing and not another, when the one is more likely a risk than the more "threatening" one.

I wonder how many people here  have first-hand knowledge of a woman naturally getting pregnant and giving birth after 45? I mean that, you were there at the time of pregnancy and saw it happen. Not someone's relative from the past or the info in an article or heard it on good authority from your SIL who is a nurse-- real-life experience. 

If I strolled into an infertility clinic saying I wanted to get pregnant, they would tell me it was going to be a very difficult endeavor to accomplish naturally. 

I understand that we go through life with all kinds of warnings about getting pregnant and it's hard to turn off- I personally do not see a lot of fertility going on at this age, is the observation I am making.

N.B. I am not challenging anyone, to me it's interesting how behavior and beliefs work together. (LOVE behavioral economics, cognitive bias stuff.)

PD, I would just be careful - I've known two 40-somethings who got unexpectedly preggo because they assumed they were at "lower risk"!  One baby was OK, the other had some developmental disabilities - it can and does happen so using a rubber is always a good idea because you never know....!  I support getting off of hormonal BC, but there are other methods of contraception that will keep you pregnancy-free if that is something you want to avoid at this stage of the game.  The pull-out method is just not reliable, IMO, no matter what age you are....

When Uranus is in your 5th then you end up pregnant! Lol sorry couldn't, or didn't want to, help myself :)

I also think that the horror of having a child later in life "ups" the alertness- and of course, while 25-30 might not make for a big difference in your chances, 40-45 surely does.

I guess there are a lot of medical risk situations like this one.

When Uranus is conjunct your partner's Mars, pregnancy is highly unlikely 

I can't use BC because hormones aggravate my OCD.  (The Patch caused my worst spell in 2004.)  So I have to be super careful!

I'm in perimenopause, but I could still have a change in life baby.  My grandma had my mom at 40 after having her first baby at 19 or 20.  So I have to worry until menopause, whether it comes soon or in my 50s.

I couldn't run after a baby now...I had three kids in four years and I was done at 33.  I was tired all the dang time.  I had a lot more energy then...forget about now! 

"If I strolled into an infertility clinic saying I wanted to get pregnant, they would tell me it was going to be a very difficult endeavor to accomplish naturally." 

See, there is an important distinction in this, I think.  If you were to visit an infertility clinic, it is assumed that you have been actively and purposely trying to have a baby with no success.  If 6 month or a year goes by and no baby using natural methods, then yeah, you're probably not fertile anymore.  Just because you hit a certain age, that doesn't mean you're automatically not fertile.  Every body is different, and while it may be the case that you aren't, there is also the possibility that you are still fertile.  You don't have an exact expiration date stamped on your eggs that can be read, so the only way to know is if an "oops" does happen.  I guess what I'm saying is I think it's a lot easier to play it safe rather than have to deal with the aftermath if you happen to be wrong.  This isn't meant to alarm you or anyone else, it's just one of those old "An ounce of prevention" deals.

My MIL is in her 60's and only recently went thru menopause.  Just sayin' - she was still having normal cycles in her 50's!  Couple that with the two women I personally know who got preggo in their 40's and I personally wouldn't feel comfortable risking it if I didn't want a baby, that's all.  YMMV of course.

My grandmother also had my mother after 40. My mother is 12-15 years younger than her sisters. It was not pleasant for her.

When a doctor says "You're sterile--now go and fuck your brains out!" 

My late aunts, God rest their souls, were 12 and 17 years older than my mom.

She said it was like having three mothers.

@Michele "My grandmother also had my mother after 40. My mother is 12-15 years younger than her sisters. It was not pleasant for her."

Aha ... My mother was 42 and peri-menapausal when she became pregnant with me. I'm 10 years younger than my next older sibling and it was an unhappy experience for everyone. Had my catholic dad been on board with abortion I would not be here.

I do get it- it's basically the difference bet focusing on the 1 in a million pregnant as opposed to the 999,999 not pregnant.  

Infertility clinic, reg doc- I'm sure they'd say the same thing. Did not mean to skew the response by saying clinic. Point taken, though.

I meant that the fertitlity of two menstruating women, one 25 and one 48, is just not the same. I also think, as an aside, that fertility and aging is a touchy topic. I mean, aside from the practical matter of managing your reproduction and taking risks-- as an idea, women are reluctant to say that before menopause pregnancy is an impossiblity.  So I guess, there is an emotional aspect/discomfort to accepting the end of fertility, that only menopause seems to resolve.  Being in this transitional age has made me wonder about this-- thanks for the input.

The vasectomy seemed to do it for me.

A girlfriend of mine got pregnant after 40 when she'd had a long history of fertility issues and treatment trying to conceive. She didn't use BC because she'd been trying for years and simply didn't think she could get pregnant. She wasn't trying to at the time...in fact, it was difficult in many ways due to life circumstance but is very happy with her little surprise nonetheless.

Even small, though, it's not a risk I want to take. My baby is 22 now, and I don't want to start over. I'll quit using BC after I've officially hit menopause, i.e. a year without cycles. I realize the chances of becoming pregnant now are small (mid forties), and because of that, am comfortable using OTC methods like spermicidal films and such that I wouldn't have risked in my thirties. So the lowered risk gives me some comfort as I seem to be moving into perimenopause. But I'm not quitting until the fat lady has sung!

Yay for the vasectomy !! After my ex got his, that was the most relaxed I'd ever been -- after having four kids. But alas, it was short-lived due to the marriage breaking up. Still, I think it's the best thing EVAH !

When a doctor says "You're sterile--now go and fuck your brains out!" 

I know more than one hand's worth of people that were told they couldn't have kids by a doctor, and then got accidentally pregnant. I don't trust that, myself. :P

 I'll be 40 soon, so I'm not quite there.  I just want to get my tubes tied.  BC messes with my hormones too much.

:)  Wish more men got vasectomies.  That would be such a relief! 

Birth Control is the only other option for me. 

Morgan - that's why I got a copper IUD. 10 years of protection with no hormones. :D

At the *beginning* of each pill pack, I felt PMS like I've NEVER felt!!  I was growling mad. Lol.  I'll have to look into that.  Thanks Luci.

Just because the odds are really low doesn't mean it couldn't happen, and it would be a big deal if it did happen. Either you have an ugly decision or a big life change to make. At that point it doesn't matter if it was a statistical anomaly or not, because it's your problem now.

I'm on nuvaring now through the health dept. I pay $10 for 3 months worth. Can't beat that. I don't have "health insurance" and this was a few months before the announcement that we're all gonna get birth control now.  Wait to see how long that shit takes to go into practice.

I was never very good about taking the pill on time. Also, I've got Uranus/Scorpio/5th house, conjunct Mercury/Scorpio/5th, both inconjunct Moon/Aries/10th.  I have no idea how that might play out, but I don't want "surprise children" with personality disorders or chronic illness or whatever.

My diabetes was also way out of control for years and I can't figure that I could sustain myself, let alone a fetus.  But mostly I'm afraid I'll get knocked up and abandoned.

Anyway, I came across this article about an hour ago and it really kinda made me sad and pissed me off. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201107/unnatural-selection

I'm pretty pro-choice and believe abortion should be a safe, legal option.  But aborting a pregnancy over gender? That's fucked.

OTOH, if I took an amnio and it came back that there was a high probability that there were going to health issues etc, I would terminate. I don't have the $$$ or mental/emotional resources to deal with it.

My mom's mom had children after 40 (says her eggs were rotten) and one of her younger brothers has some mental handicaps, I guess. I don't know the specifics because I havent spent time with that side of the family in years.

I'm wondering if my growing anger and outrage at the world means I'm becoming a feminist.