When was the last time your heart was "all in?"
posted 7 months ago in Lounge
I have known Annalisa for 33 years.......So I guess my heart has been, "All In" for that long.
I don't even remember any more. I haven't been 100% convinced of anything in... I don't even know. Hell, I'm trying to force myself to be over 50% in at this point and it's so hard! Any rational, logical, sane human being would NOT be "all in" about what I want to chase, and I constantly worry about how I'm gonna end up in the rubber room or something if I go there.
And for the record, I don't even have much Libra.
I am all in with a few areas of my life, my primary relationships for example, but can be reserved, or holding back a little with other things, like decisions, weighing if and when I want to be all in. I am not talking about gambling, although the same kind of process would likely apply.
I'm always 'all in', especially with my emotions - I don't do anything by halves, esp love affairs.
When I take on a project I like to immerse myself and identify with the matter in question - that's why I worked freelance. 'Nine to five and leave the job in the office' is not for me.
Like BP, nine-five jobs are not for me, but it's what I have right now and I feel like it's stealing my soul. Definitely need to to find something else, something I can go all in on.
I'm all in with my boy. And it's good and it hurts because it's a complicated, almost star crossed relationship. I keep thinking about this proverb:
"Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it the most."
The last project I was all in for was a tattoo design for a friend and I was almost done when our relationship fell apart. I haven't picked it up since. Just looking at it makes me angry.
Once I have made the decision about being all in, there is usually no going back for me. I guess that is why I hesitate with decisions about being all in. There are so many things to do in life, I can only be all in with some of them. Otherwise I would be up 24 hours a day. I guess that I am all in about having a good sleep at night.
The last time my heart was all in? I think when I was looking for a new apartment about a month ago. I ended up getting what I kind of wanted, but realized on receiving it, I didn't want it that badly after all, and turned it down.
Jupiter conjunct Ascendent and POF the day before it went rx. *sheepish grin*
Another time was when I asked out the departed one. That time it worked out better than I thought it would. ; )
I think there was a lot of Gemini in the sky that day....
annalisa, it would make it a lot easier if I wasn't constantly fighting myself about how what I want isn't sane or realistic. If I wasn't completely going against conventional life wisdom for chasing a psychic prediction sort of thing. If I have to fight myself and literally beat the logic side of me DOWN to try to "follow my heart?" It's a problem. It does not help. 100% commitment would help immensely. I am trying to keep myself at 51% rather than 50/50 like usual and it's really difficult to say, "I AM MOVING TO LA IN A YEAR," rather than a realistic "I am going to try to," or "I am hoping to." I spend a lot of my time talkling down crazy people (if they listen to me, hah), so doing something so UNrealistic is really hard on me.
I keep doing stuff to swear my committment, in blood if I have to :P or whatever, but that still doesn't stop the Vulcan side of me from going, "Wait...everyone's gonna hate you and think you're stupid if you do this..." Plus what I want to do right now is gonna be an uphill slog in the snow while wearing a miniskirt (I don't even have a car and I've never moved long distance and I have no friends there and my mom will make it as difficult for me as humanly possible), and it's not that I even WANT to do it with my whole heart. I like SoCal, but I hate cities and I so far did not like LA when I have been there! It's hard to go "all in" when I don't even want to be there so much as it's "I had a prediction about there and I can't find out if it comes true or not or why I had it if I don't fucking move away from home to see." And no, I can't just take a vacation there and see if it happens-- I have to PLANT there.
So, whlile 100% might not be required, it would really, really, really help right now.
Gosh, great questions Annalisa. I think, relating it to situations as you suggested too, i've had my heart all in a few times since 2007. But nothing has worked out the way I hoped or thought it would. So now i'm sort of in a "accept reality" phase and putting limits everywhere and pulling my heart back. Heart very bruised over here. I don't want to let it out there for anything or anyone in an "all in" way for a couple years at least.
This is such a good question!!! I saw it yesterday, and it hit me really hard..it's such along time ago. It was actually a exam and I got so energized and passionate about the subject. I wish I could bring my heart to everything. Huge diffrence. Things get leg's.
Do you think it depends on your moon? I think a Taurus Moon is pretty likely to be all in, but can, for example, a Gemini Moon be all in, and would a Libra Moon want to be? And would a Sag Moon spare the time?!
Fall of 1989 to Spring of 1990. That was the part of our relationship when we were so blind with attraction and affection that we didn't see each other's flaws and felt we were 'soul-mates'. Love is blind, at least for a little while.
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The heart can be "all in" when it comes to a dream you are pursuing or a relationship or just about anything that moves you. I tend to go all in more than some because my heart is on my sleeve.
When was the last time your heart was "all in?" Was the situation all you thought it could be?