There is discussion on of the the astro mailing lists in regards to the  character of women who keep their name when they marry. It was prompted by the fact Tiger Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren kept her maiden name. 

Do you think this has significance?

If you kept your maiden name when you married, what was your train of thought. If you did not keep you maiden name, what prompted that decision. 

In my artwork I include my maiden name hypenated because we have a family heritage of artwork that marketing wise helps us all.

Otherwise I'm known by my married name. 

I changed my name, but after a while I wished I hadn't. I felt fine about changing it, I was SO in love, but his family was so awful to me over so many years that I really didn't like being one of them. Now, divorced, I'm back to my original name, which... the numerology is better, but I don't like being associated most with the people  in my family either.... ah well. I do think it's worth doing the numerology and seeing how that works for you.

I love my name. I don't think I will want to change it ever! 

There are many other ways of showing your love and respect to your husband and his family. 

I changed my name - I really didn't give it much thought.  It has nothing to do with doing the "right thing", or whatever.  I married him, and I just decided to be "Mrs.".  

Both my sisters changed their last name, but on facebook, they hyphenated our maiden name, which has turned out to be very cool because they have met people we are related to (my maiden name is very unique and Austrian), so if we share it, we are definitely related! 

I changed my name. It wasn't some kind of secret statement or anything. It was because his last name was easier to spell and pronounce. After spending years of having my name mangled, I opted to go with the alternative.

I can't speak to the experience of not changing it, since I did do.  I can only say why I did change it (which of course is not answering the question posed!)  

My husband's former spouse chose not to.  Interestingly, he never thought it mattered to him until I did it, and then he discovered that it was very meaningful to him.  But I did it for myself.

I did it as a way of my honoring husband and it was personally important to me (and as Molly says, there are many other ways of so honoring.) So of course, this means nothing regarding anybody else, just us two.  And just my two cents.

Supposedly Heidi Klum took Seal's last name when they got married, which raises a much larger question here...

SEAL HAS A LAST NAME!?

My brother and sister-in-law legally combined their last names into one hyphenated name.

My husband was surprisingly hurt that I had to weigh the merits of taking his name (which I did but I had to decide first, it wasn't automatic) - I didn't expect that.

I moved way up the alphabetic line, woot.

I have to say, I loathe this "tradition." It literally meant that your husband owned you and you were his property. Like a cow with a brand in its ass. Am I not worthy of keeping my own damn name because I didn't get born with a penis? Yes, in our culture this is apparently true. And it makes me sick to my stomach. So, no way in hell would I do it. Not okay. I would resent the hell out of him every time someone called me Mrs. His Property and that is how it would make me feel. Like I don't exist and I am just a subset of him. It's 2009 and we can't get over this yet?

I wonder if taking his name makes him more committed/connected as you are becoming his family?

I think name taking (or not) is making a statement. If you are too independent then keeping your name is a sign of independence. Some may like that, others not so much. I think a hyphenated name is a statement.. "although married i'm my own person with my own history". And I think a total change is a statement of intention and commitment. 

I would only keep mine if his was ugly - says libra :P

My sister was going to hyphenate hers with her ex ..and he never respected her career and ideas .. now that she's with a new man who is treating her well and equal in other ways she's interested in taking his name. So maybe it's how we feel connected, respected and safe. 

Things that make you go hmm....

I ended up finally hyphenating my last name when I was pregnant with our son. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and she has my maiden last name since I am the only one on her birth certificate. My son has his fathers,my husbands last name soooo..... if I hyphenate my last name has both their last names,lol.

I have the raddest last name ever and would never change it. 

If I had children I would likely want them to have their fathers name, because in this day and age I feel it's an advantage for men to share a name with their children. 

One of my friends is Mexican, married to a caucasian gal. He was stopped by the police in the mall and demanded to prove he was in fact his son's father. I found it shocking and my friend said "then you'd be shocked to know how often I'm stopped." 

jenfullmoon - is your maiden name from your dad's last name?

I kept my maiden name when I got married. My train of thought was that being married didn't change my identity - I was (X Y Z) for 21 years prior and I was going to continue to be (X Y Z) after.

He had no opinion either way. If he had wanted me to take his name, I probably would have, but he was okay with whatever. 

To me, it's no reflection on commitment. It's just my name.

lol! i never thought to change my name, born and die with the same numbers and name! for me it has nothing to do with love or marriage.

I feel the same way as jenfullmoon.  I've got uranus/venus stuff going on, so I don't think its ever gonna be an issue for me since I don't want to get married either.

interiorcastle, I have my dad's last name because thats the name I was given but since more and more women are keeping thier names, I think this will start to change. I would like to see girls get thier moms last name.  

I am all for women keeping their maiden name if they prefer. It is their decision. I do not like the male only family trees that are prominent throughout history. I think that I was born with this point of view. My grandfather kept asking me why we were not having more children, ie a boy. I am very proud of our two daughters and frankly it is irrelevant to me if my family name is passed on or not. The soul essence, the life lived is far more important. Sorry, I took that one on a bit of a different curve.     

Does anyone remember the episode of Saved by the Bell where they had to pair off for a home ec class and Screech took Lisa's last name?  Its so Pluto in Libra generation.

The one thing weird about it is the family is no longer defined.  Personally, I liked being a "Panizzon" as in,  those are the Panizzons or those are the Panizzon kids. I am from the Panizzon tribe...

I really hate how the culture denies the Moon (the family). Most of you know I was raised by Aquarians and I mean mega Aquarians. 

My mother is a double Aquarian and my father has his Sun and 3 other planets and his n node in Aquarius so we always knew we were INDIVIDUALS but we had this "brand" of sorts - we were Panizzons and that meant something.

I am not suggesting my point is better than yours, I just think it is a point to make. My kids have different last names and this has always bothered me greatly. I see it as failure.

When I married the soldier, I took his name and Vid wanted to do the same.  We had to tell him how upsetting this would be to his father but I think you can see my point.

My son is a Sun Saturn (also most of you know) and I think on some level it bothers him too, the different last names. It just doesn't ring right to this conservative (naturally, by birth) kid.

I'd add those old family trees where families joined are pretty cool. Obviously I should have married the soldier when we were kids. I think we'd have stayed married, been happy - Panizzon joins his family name and on with the family tree.

Again, I think it is denial of the Moon to discount the woman's contribution to the family due the tradition of her changing her name. For Godsakes, I made the kids in my body - they they are of me cannot possibly be denied.

Perhaps this is a good reason to name them after the father?  I mean in a sense it balances the power of the mother which is er... over the Moon as it is.

I am comforted when I'm feeling like life gets me down and my Dad says, "You are a SO AND SO!" as way of giving me a kick in the ass and uplifting me because you know what? It DOES.

I have Capricorn Moon as well as Sun square Saturn--while I have my own ideas of individuality (Sun-Uranus, Sagittarius ASC)--when it comes to my tie to my Dad and my paternal roots they simply can't be dismissed. 

Funniest thing of all is he couldn't give a shit if his kids took his name or not.

" cannot possibly be denied"

this is what I meant when I referred to my friend who got stopped by the police. my friend's only proof his kid was his was the fact he has a hyphenated last name, and a link to his son, who doesn't (yet) look at all like him. 

many people wouldn't run into this problem but i imagine this happens elsewhere in north america in mixed-raced households. 

My SO insists on taking my last name when we get married.  I don't like sharing, so (unbeknownst to her) I'm going to take her last name for my middle name!  Booyah!

Really, I'm not comfortable with the idea that just one person takes the other's name.  It represents domination (at least in my mind), and I prefer more equality.  On the other hand, everyone keeping their maiden/bachelor names screams dysfunction (at least in my mind).  Besides, my middle name is boring anyway--it's just an average, 2nd first name, and no one calls me by it anyway.  May as well be something special.

i kept it - mostly because i have papers published under my maiden name.  if our last names sounded good together i would probably use firstname myname hisname...but the combination is a real mouthful.  my husband is not phased - in fact i think he likes the idea of me keeping my name. other women that married into his family kept their names for similar reasons.  it's funny because in the city where i live, not changing your name is fairly common. when i go to the 'burbs they're shocked!

Kashmiri: People used to stop me all the time to ask if that was my son, or where was his mother..

Agghhh!

Now that there are three of them, and they are a little older, I think they wonder, but don't ask. Plus, I'm probably making a 'mom' face at one of them at any given moment. 

I have a very common last name and my children have their fathers' also one of the most common. Honestly given my heritage, a part of me just thinks of the impossibility of relating to my "slave name"  or to any of the people who had it before me. I didn't grow up with any sense of family at all, beyond my sibling, and I'm not suggesting that was a good thing. My identity is pretty much, I'm the one one who isn't whatever you all are.

I think my children do have a sense of family identity; we are artists, and musicians.... 

 this stuff makes me really emotional (4th house cancer sun represent!) but there isn't a magic answer

Kashmiri, this reminds me of something my father told me all throughout childhood, and again during a very traumatic time well into my adulthood:

"Remember who you are."

I always thought he was talking about my last name---lineage.  And of course, he was.  But my father is slowly losing his memory, and it's a very upfront thing:  he's been spilling all sorts of beans for the past year, kind of an "f-u" to his illness, as his health and his memory weaken.  One of the things he told me recently, was how three of his own mother's sisters had very difficult lives, mostly tied to very difficult men.  My father was talking about them with a mixture of respect, affection, and sadness about how screwed up life was for his aunts...and as I was expressing great surprise to be let in on this family history, he told me again that he wanted me to remember who I am.  

I didn't say anything, but I knew what he was really saying was, I've got their strength and endurance and humor and red hair and freckles and fierce love of family.  And I've got their last name.  But I've got choices they didn't have, too, and that matters.  

I have a really nifty but pedestrian Irish last name, and I just cannot imagine changing it.   

I suppose I'm digressing here....    

Old people are cool.   

BTW, I have saturn/cap in the 4th house.   The astrology speaks for itself, once again!

(((omie))) no, there isn't an easy answer. my mum was sent away when she was 16 and told that the Church would love her more than the family could. I met my grandmother but now she's gone there is zero link to my maternal side. Except the ass--that came from mater-nix. 

Maureen, I took a 6 week trip with my Dad during my SR. It was a unique experience being in a foreign country at the age I was, spending 24 hours a day in an intimate environment with a parent, as an independent adult. I heard A LOT of stories I never heard before..!

Made me realize how some people need time to tell their stories, rome wasn't built in a day...(love that expression) etc. Astrology, yeah...my Moon is exactly conjunct my dad's South Node in Caprircorn...he is not closely involved with all of his children and that is it's own cross to bear. 

Women and childbearing are exactly why men instigated marriage in the first place (just read a fascinating book for a book club that had a sideline on this). Once the notion of private property came to the earth, heritage began to be considered, as it became clear that having children meant you could continue to own your property through your heirs. It was because this that men wanted to "claim" their women, so that there would be proof that the children she bore were indisputably his.

What Elsa said: the ability to give birth is so powerful, it is no doubt a main reason why history's women have been oppressed, erased, with their names just one small symbol of it. I also like the idea of a clan, and am from one. In other cultures, the mother's name is an important part of the children's and the clan's identity. 

I never liked my maiden name.  When I married the first time, I took my husband's last name and gave it to our son, as well.  When we divorced, I made up my own last name, dropped my first name (I'd always been called by my middle name) changed everything legally and vowed to keep it this way.  When I married a second time, I offered my own last name to my husband during the wedding ceremony and he declined the offer.  We both kept our own names.

When my son was little, I told him he could change his name if he wanted to when he grew up. He's an artist and usually signs his paintings with just his first name.

I changed my name when I got married, and I changed it back when I got divorced.  It's an involved process, but I was happy to do it the first time because I believed in the family having a single name.  It was a real pain to change it back to my maiden name (much harder than taking a married name... I find it sexist, actually) so based on that alone, out of cynicism I guess, I think I won't change it again even if I get married.  I already have a different last name than the only child I plan to have, it's not ideal to me, but I felt strongly about not keeping my ex's name.  (In a nod to Elsa's point about Vid, I think it bothers or confuses my son based on comments he's already made.)

I took my husband's last name when I married. Like Goddess said of her maiden name,  my maiden name was hard to pronounce. Teachers & profs would get to my name and not even attempt to say it, either that or mangle it.

Besides . . . I was ready to let go of that persona. The numerology of my married name is much different than my maiden name. Maiden name was 3, married name an 8.

However, I do see this as a very personal choice.

When I married, I was going to hyphenate .... until I met and married someone with a very long and difficult to pronounce last name.  I moved my maiden name to my middle name and used all three, but I ended up being "Shannon K" - which, by the way, makes me sound like a kindergartner and I hate.

The minute we separated I started looking into how to get my name back.  The irony of it all?  My drivers license was changed pretty easily with my divorce papers, but I'm not 100% sure my lawyer did the name change paperwork correctly.  But either way I've been back to my name for ten years - nobody would be pressed to figure out who I am.  I'm pretty sure that no matter what I do, I'm going to always use the name given to me by my parents.

Unless I change it, which I have considered.  *chuckle*

All that aside, I always thought it would be cool to be one of those ladies who had different names in different environments.  Maybe Sarah Maiden professionally but Mrs. John Married socially or whatever.  *shrug*

My mom's mother's family passed the last name down matrilineally, from the mother's.

InteriorCastle, I love that. Is it part of your heritage or was it a rogue choice? 

Probably both - it happened for a few generations. The women have been the ones who were the property owners, authority figures, etc too.

Dad's last name, of course. Though had I been given a choice between his and hers, I would have picked his because I like it better. I actually don't care which last name the kids get. Pick one or hyphenate, whichever.

I just think it is ridiculous to expect only women to change their names when they've already lived 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 years with that one. I am all for whatever countries (or Quebec) that just don't let anybody change it. 

Also I am a Jennifer, so my last name is the ONLY distinctive identifier of me. No way in hell am I going to be Jennifer Smith, you know? 

I've had sporadic internet access lately so i commented before here but am pretty sure it didn't show up as i lost access..

Just wanted to chime in that i absolutely WOULD take my husband's name, if i had a husband! Never liked my last name or mother's maiden name for that matter, but the main thing is belonging to my husband and the name is a big part of it for me.

This is too funny.  When I was little I thought I'd keep my own last name.  You know, little girl, independent, etc. etc.  But then again I also thought that I'd never marry so it wasn't a realistic question to me.  Then when I got older I thought I'd take his last name as a sign of commitment.  Now that I'm engaged I can tell you 100% will be keeping my own last name. 

The why is more practical than anything.  I have a first name people mangle and struggle with.  I'm not giving that up and his last name is a beast of a pronunciation difficulty for most everyone.  It also identifies him as a very very small and persecuted minority in the world.  He doesn't care one way or the other and is cool with me keeping at least one name that people have a chance of spelling and pronouncing (if they can remember it as they're often hung up on the first name issue).

As for the matriarchal name I am identified as a "a..'s woman" which is my mother's maiden name and there are a LOT of sisters and cousins that don't use anymore or haven't ever used that as a last name but identify themselves as such when discussing physical traits, crazy levels of stubbornness etc.  :D